Disclaimer; I do not own Gundam Wing and I am not making any money off
this, okay? So suing me is pointless, I have nothing but my Cat and my
manga. Ooh, wait, there's three cents in my piggy bank, wow, I'm rich.
Pairings; read and find out cause I ain't telling.
The Cross He Bares
He's crying again. Poor Duo, my Duo. No one ever notices how sad he is, he always hides it behind a smiling mask so no one will worry, no one will know. But I know and when he talks I listen.
Slowly and carefully he brushes his hair, staring into the bathroom mirror. The brushstrokes sound so soft and I know it soothes him. It's the same everyday, I watch as he brushes his hair until it softer than silk and sometimes he talks. I remember every word he has ever said, and I have felt every tear he cried. Oh Duo. You don't need this torment. I wish you could see that. He deserves peace more than anyone I know yet he still fights. At least he has me.
I am always with him; I always will be with him. Nothing can change that. I am his comfort, his protection, his worry stone. Sometimes at night he curls up holding me close and cries, pressing me to his chest until I am warm. I never speak but he knows I understand, knows I listen. I feel the heartbeat that hurts him so all too well.
"Heero." Duo breathes the name that haunts him, the name that he has often whispered to me about, especially late at night. It isn't fair that he can't be with the one he loves. All he has is me and I know it is not enough. Once more, I wish I could tell him the words to make it all right but I remain mute, watching as he dissolves in tears again.
Duo wipes away tears, knowing that if he takes much longer Quatre will come looking for him. Practiced fingers sweep up his soft hair and divide it into three thick strands before twining it into his trademark braid.
How to comfort him? I wrap around his neck, hugging him and trying to let him know I am here. Don't cry my Duo, it's all right. He glances up into the mirror after splashing his face in cold water to erase the tears. A genuine smile graces his face as he raises a finger, brushing it against me before bouncing out of the bathroom and downstairs. I wish I could smile back but that too is beyond my grasp. I stay the same, faceless and stoic, going with my Duo through the house.
We're off to a mission. After he waves to Quatre and Trowa, both of the boys cuddling openly in the kitchen and ignoring his presence, he steals a piece of toast and heads toward the hangar for last minutes preparations on his Gundam. I continue to watch him and everything around him, his protecting force, his mute comfort.
"Hello Fei!" Energetically he waves at the Chinese boy making sure Nataku is fully armed. The boy turns and brushes his black hair out of his eyes. He didn't pull it back yet apparently. When seeing it's only Duo, he turns back to his Gundam, grunting a quiet, distracted hello and the obligatory, "Baka."
Duo just continues to grin like a mad man, his mask once more firmly in place. Sometimes I wonder how it is that none of his friends that look at him, look at us never see the mask, never brush past the surface.
"You know you love me Wu-man." Duo giggles like he's six and hugs Wufei, who merely grunts, and then he dances towards his own Gundam, yelling loudly, "Good morning Deathscythe Baby!"
The Gundam is near the back, tall and standing so proudly over us. The metallic green eyes gleam even in the dim light and Duo throws himself at the Gundam, trying to hug it but realizing his arms are far too short. Across the hangar Wufei coughs, like he's suppressing a laugh. Duo ignores him, instead giving me a squeeze and climbing into the cockpit of his Gundam.
It always amazes me how he can scramble from the ground up there so fast without a ladder or a rope. Silly Duo, he's part monkey I swear. Once we're safely in the cockpit Duo gets to work while I watch, as always.
After a few minutes of running quick checks Duo cheers, "All right! D-Baby, we are ready to go!" He flips the COM and connects to Nataku even though Wufei is within shouting distance. "Hey, Wu-man, ready yet?"
The Chinese pilot apparently has also entered his cockpit because he appears and glares at Duo. "Yes Nataku and I are ready. As soon as the others get in here we'll be leaving for the battle." No sooner does he say it then Quatre and Trowa enter the hangar and go to their MSs. They had done their checks earlier. Now there is only one missing from our party. Duo is the first to notice and I know he was keeping an eye out for the Japanese pilot all along.
"Hey, where's Heero?"
Quatre appears on the screen after Wufei turns his off, his face slightly flushed from his activities in the kitchen. "He told us not to wait for him, he'll meet up with us on the field."
Duo keeps smiling and says jokingly, "Man, what a jerk! Okay lets go them." He flips off the screen, leaving radio contact on just in case and gets ready. I hear his soft sigh of disappointment. Duo, you have to stop doing this to yourself.
Once more he holds me close to his heart until I am warm and then we leave, going towards another battle.
*******
The sun is setting, an entire day gone, wasted. We have left behind a field of ruined lives and Duo is deadly silent thinking about the war. The instant we arrive Duo tumbles out of Deathscythe and is running for his bathroom before the others can say anything to him.
Once he's there he strips, practically shredding the clothing and starts the shower, trying desperately to wash away the battlefields taint. After a battle everyone has their own way of dealing with it, this is his. With the water hot enough to burn him he holds me close until it feels like I will leave an impression on his skin and cries. The sound of the shower covers it. Like it always does. Nearly an hour later when he finally turns off the water and leaves the bathroom his skin is flushed and his tears are gone, used up.
Gasping in cold but too tired to dress he stumbles to bed and curls up on the blankets, his grasp on me still strong. His lips brush against me; seeking comfort and he whisper small prayers to me. He prays that the war will end and he will never have to kill again, he prays for forgiveness for all that I witnessed today, another day of slaughter by the god of death. How can no one notice that the supposed god of death is merely a teenager, in need of comfort and love?
No one notices because of his mask.
"Please." Duo sobs and hiccups, his voice so very low in his chest, "Please let Heero be alright." I should have known that would be part of his anguish, the fact that Heero had never appeared on the battlefield even though Wing wasn't in the hangar when we returned and hadn't answered any messages.
I try to let Duo know I'm listening as he curls up around me in nothing but a towel and his wet hair getting tangled about me. After a while he relaxes and his breathing evens out like he has fallen asleep. I stay where I am silently watching him sleep.
Hours later there is a knock on the door and Duo wakes up with a start. Gasping he disentangles me from his neck and abandons me on the bed in his scramble to answer the door. He yanks it open, hoping it could be.
It is. In the door stands Heero looking tired and worn. Duo is too relieved to realize he's only in a towel or to care about anything other than the fact that his love was still there, still safe. He smiles and fights not to hug the "Perfect Soldier." "Heero, where were you?"
The boy's gaze drifts down and he gently reminds Duo, "You're only wearing a towel baka."
Duo blushes right to his roots, I swear even his braid turned red. "Um, I was, I was asleep."
"Hn." Heero looks into his face and sighs. "Can I talk to you? I'll be in the hangar." Without waiting for any type of reply the stoic boy turns and leaves.
My Duo seems a little dazed as he closes the door. Duo walks back to the bed and pulls me close again. "He's alright. He's alright." I wonder if he's going to cry again. "And he wants to talk to me. I need to get dressed!"
Once more he's bouncing around the room, sorting through his classic black clothing, trying to find something that will impress Heero. There isn't much variety and eventually he settles for tight black jeans and a silky shirt. Whenever he knows Heero will see him he tries to dress up a little. I am where I always am once again, completing Duo's picture and giving him courage.
Too agitated to braid his hair that came undone in the shower he simply yanks it into a ponytail as he races down to the hangar in record time to meet with Heero. The pilot is leaning against the leg of Wing like he was meant to be there, barely glancing up as Duo races in with me, as always. Duo would be incomplete without me.
Heero pushes away from the Gundam, looking Duo up and down, glancing at me as well. "Duo." The pilot stops trying to work out what he wants to say while Duo waits anxiously. He gives it up and simply does what he wanted to for so long. He catches hold of me in his long delicate fingers and uses me to pull Duo forward. Before Duo can protest he's caught in a gentle begging kiss.
A fraction a second later, before Duo can get over his shock and respond the Japanese pilot pulls away and mumbles, "I love you Duo." Then he lets go and tries to walk away only to be stopped by my Duo. With his violet eyes excited Duo leans in and kisses Heero, trying to let him know what he told to me so very long ago and so very often since.
"I love you too Heero." Duo laughs almost crying, finally saying what he has felt for all this time. The look on Heero's face is strange, like he was just told that he had died and needed to go to heaven now. Hn, he calls my Duo an idiot. How could he have never seen how much Duo loves him?
Then he and Duo are wrapped up in other's arms, nearly crying because they're so happy. I feel very warm, pressed between them. We stay this way for what seems like hours before Heero wraps his fingers around me again, drawing me to light so he can see clearer. "Duo, why do you always wear this cross?"
Duo smiles and his hand joins Heero's. "I'll tell you later."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."
Welllllll?????? Reviews? Tell me what you thought. Please?
For anyone who didn't get it just picture what Duo normally wears, you know, the priestlike clothes with a little gold cross around his neck? Well the story is from his cross's point of view. Get it now? Stupid I know but if Mint Maxwell can write a story from Duo's hair's POW I can do this. *grins*
Pairings; read and find out cause I ain't telling.
The Cross He Bares
He's crying again. Poor Duo, my Duo. No one ever notices how sad he is, he always hides it behind a smiling mask so no one will worry, no one will know. But I know and when he talks I listen.
Slowly and carefully he brushes his hair, staring into the bathroom mirror. The brushstrokes sound so soft and I know it soothes him. It's the same everyday, I watch as he brushes his hair until it softer than silk and sometimes he talks. I remember every word he has ever said, and I have felt every tear he cried. Oh Duo. You don't need this torment. I wish you could see that. He deserves peace more than anyone I know yet he still fights. At least he has me.
I am always with him; I always will be with him. Nothing can change that. I am his comfort, his protection, his worry stone. Sometimes at night he curls up holding me close and cries, pressing me to his chest until I am warm. I never speak but he knows I understand, knows I listen. I feel the heartbeat that hurts him so all too well.
"Heero." Duo breathes the name that haunts him, the name that he has often whispered to me about, especially late at night. It isn't fair that he can't be with the one he loves. All he has is me and I know it is not enough. Once more, I wish I could tell him the words to make it all right but I remain mute, watching as he dissolves in tears again.
Duo wipes away tears, knowing that if he takes much longer Quatre will come looking for him. Practiced fingers sweep up his soft hair and divide it into three thick strands before twining it into his trademark braid.
How to comfort him? I wrap around his neck, hugging him and trying to let him know I am here. Don't cry my Duo, it's all right. He glances up into the mirror after splashing his face in cold water to erase the tears. A genuine smile graces his face as he raises a finger, brushing it against me before bouncing out of the bathroom and downstairs. I wish I could smile back but that too is beyond my grasp. I stay the same, faceless and stoic, going with my Duo through the house.
We're off to a mission. After he waves to Quatre and Trowa, both of the boys cuddling openly in the kitchen and ignoring his presence, he steals a piece of toast and heads toward the hangar for last minutes preparations on his Gundam. I continue to watch him and everything around him, his protecting force, his mute comfort.
"Hello Fei!" Energetically he waves at the Chinese boy making sure Nataku is fully armed. The boy turns and brushes his black hair out of his eyes. He didn't pull it back yet apparently. When seeing it's only Duo, he turns back to his Gundam, grunting a quiet, distracted hello and the obligatory, "Baka."
Duo just continues to grin like a mad man, his mask once more firmly in place. Sometimes I wonder how it is that none of his friends that look at him, look at us never see the mask, never brush past the surface.
"You know you love me Wu-man." Duo giggles like he's six and hugs Wufei, who merely grunts, and then he dances towards his own Gundam, yelling loudly, "Good morning Deathscythe Baby!"
The Gundam is near the back, tall and standing so proudly over us. The metallic green eyes gleam even in the dim light and Duo throws himself at the Gundam, trying to hug it but realizing his arms are far too short. Across the hangar Wufei coughs, like he's suppressing a laugh. Duo ignores him, instead giving me a squeeze and climbing into the cockpit of his Gundam.
It always amazes me how he can scramble from the ground up there so fast without a ladder or a rope. Silly Duo, he's part monkey I swear. Once we're safely in the cockpit Duo gets to work while I watch, as always.
After a few minutes of running quick checks Duo cheers, "All right! D-Baby, we are ready to go!" He flips the COM and connects to Nataku even though Wufei is within shouting distance. "Hey, Wu-man, ready yet?"
The Chinese pilot apparently has also entered his cockpit because he appears and glares at Duo. "Yes Nataku and I are ready. As soon as the others get in here we'll be leaving for the battle." No sooner does he say it then Quatre and Trowa enter the hangar and go to their MSs. They had done their checks earlier. Now there is only one missing from our party. Duo is the first to notice and I know he was keeping an eye out for the Japanese pilot all along.
"Hey, where's Heero?"
Quatre appears on the screen after Wufei turns his off, his face slightly flushed from his activities in the kitchen. "He told us not to wait for him, he'll meet up with us on the field."
Duo keeps smiling and says jokingly, "Man, what a jerk! Okay lets go them." He flips off the screen, leaving radio contact on just in case and gets ready. I hear his soft sigh of disappointment. Duo, you have to stop doing this to yourself.
Once more he holds me close to his heart until I am warm and then we leave, going towards another battle.
*******
The sun is setting, an entire day gone, wasted. We have left behind a field of ruined lives and Duo is deadly silent thinking about the war. The instant we arrive Duo tumbles out of Deathscythe and is running for his bathroom before the others can say anything to him.
Once he's there he strips, practically shredding the clothing and starts the shower, trying desperately to wash away the battlefields taint. After a battle everyone has their own way of dealing with it, this is his. With the water hot enough to burn him he holds me close until it feels like I will leave an impression on his skin and cries. The sound of the shower covers it. Like it always does. Nearly an hour later when he finally turns off the water and leaves the bathroom his skin is flushed and his tears are gone, used up.
Gasping in cold but too tired to dress he stumbles to bed and curls up on the blankets, his grasp on me still strong. His lips brush against me; seeking comfort and he whisper small prayers to me. He prays that the war will end and he will never have to kill again, he prays for forgiveness for all that I witnessed today, another day of slaughter by the god of death. How can no one notice that the supposed god of death is merely a teenager, in need of comfort and love?
No one notices because of his mask.
"Please." Duo sobs and hiccups, his voice so very low in his chest, "Please let Heero be alright." I should have known that would be part of his anguish, the fact that Heero had never appeared on the battlefield even though Wing wasn't in the hangar when we returned and hadn't answered any messages.
I try to let Duo know I'm listening as he curls up around me in nothing but a towel and his wet hair getting tangled about me. After a while he relaxes and his breathing evens out like he has fallen asleep. I stay where I am silently watching him sleep.
Hours later there is a knock on the door and Duo wakes up with a start. Gasping he disentangles me from his neck and abandons me on the bed in his scramble to answer the door. He yanks it open, hoping it could be.
It is. In the door stands Heero looking tired and worn. Duo is too relieved to realize he's only in a towel or to care about anything other than the fact that his love was still there, still safe. He smiles and fights not to hug the "Perfect Soldier." "Heero, where were you?"
The boy's gaze drifts down and he gently reminds Duo, "You're only wearing a towel baka."
Duo blushes right to his roots, I swear even his braid turned red. "Um, I was, I was asleep."
"Hn." Heero looks into his face and sighs. "Can I talk to you? I'll be in the hangar." Without waiting for any type of reply the stoic boy turns and leaves.
My Duo seems a little dazed as he closes the door. Duo walks back to the bed and pulls me close again. "He's alright. He's alright." I wonder if he's going to cry again. "And he wants to talk to me. I need to get dressed!"
Once more he's bouncing around the room, sorting through his classic black clothing, trying to find something that will impress Heero. There isn't much variety and eventually he settles for tight black jeans and a silky shirt. Whenever he knows Heero will see him he tries to dress up a little. I am where I always am once again, completing Duo's picture and giving him courage.
Too agitated to braid his hair that came undone in the shower he simply yanks it into a ponytail as he races down to the hangar in record time to meet with Heero. The pilot is leaning against the leg of Wing like he was meant to be there, barely glancing up as Duo races in with me, as always. Duo would be incomplete without me.
Heero pushes away from the Gundam, looking Duo up and down, glancing at me as well. "Duo." The pilot stops trying to work out what he wants to say while Duo waits anxiously. He gives it up and simply does what he wanted to for so long. He catches hold of me in his long delicate fingers and uses me to pull Duo forward. Before Duo can protest he's caught in a gentle begging kiss.
A fraction a second later, before Duo can get over his shock and respond the Japanese pilot pulls away and mumbles, "I love you Duo." Then he lets go and tries to walk away only to be stopped by my Duo. With his violet eyes excited Duo leans in and kisses Heero, trying to let him know what he told to me so very long ago and so very often since.
"I love you too Heero." Duo laughs almost crying, finally saying what he has felt for all this time. The look on Heero's face is strange, like he was just told that he had died and needed to go to heaven now. Hn, he calls my Duo an idiot. How could he have never seen how much Duo loves him?
Then he and Duo are wrapped up in other's arms, nearly crying because they're so happy. I feel very warm, pressed between them. We stay this way for what seems like hours before Heero wraps his fingers around me again, drawing me to light so he can see clearer. "Duo, why do you always wear this cross?"
Duo smiles and his hand joins Heero's. "I'll tell you later."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."
Welllllll?????? Reviews? Tell me what you thought. Please?
For anyone who didn't get it just picture what Duo normally wears, you know, the priestlike clothes with a little gold cross around his neck? Well the story is from his cross's point of view. Get it now? Stupid I know but if Mint Maxwell can write a story from Duo's hair's POW I can do this. *grins*