AN: Yo! I was hit with this plot bunny while trying to sleep the other night, and just had to get it down. This is an AU, where Harry hears the prophecy at the end of GoF, instead of the OotP. It can be read as preslash between VxHP, but can also be considered Gen if that pairing isn't your cup of tea. It's up to your own interpretation. It's just a quick oneshot, and that's it. And don't look into things too deeply. This is more for the laughs than anything else.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters...

After the trauma of taking part in the TriWizard Tournament, being whisked away to a graveyard, watching a schoolmate die, being tied to a headstone, forced to unwittingly aid in the resurrection of a Dark Lord, then tortured by said Dark Lord, and finding out that the new professor in school had really been a villain in disguise the entire time (again), fourteen year old Harry Potter was not a happy camper.

After successfully thwarting Lord Voldemort's attempt to murder him yet again, Harry once more asked his headmaster just why the Dark Lord was after him like this-and had been all these years. And this time, he wasn't going to let the matter drop until he got the answer, damn his age.

As expected, Albus Dumbledore was not exactly pleased, but seemed to realize he didn't have much of a choice here. Harry was not going to be satisfied by platitudes. Not this time.

And so he explained. Explained how there was a prophecy, and even allowed him to hear it in its entirety, which not even Voldemort had done just yet. And once he heard all he was being told, it was Harry who broke the silence that had fallen suddenly, as he spoke first.

"And what exactly is this 'power he knows not'?" he questioned slowly.

Dumbledore folded his hands on top of his desk, his brilliant blue eyes twinkling. "It is love, Harry. Love."

Needless to say, Harry was quite skeptical at this declaration. "Love?" he repeated slowly, incredulously. "What am I supposed to do with love? Hug the guy to death?"

If Dumbledore heard the very obvious sarcasm in his voice, he didn't mention it, and simply continued to smile genially. "I have no doubt you will know what to do when the time comes," he insisted confidently.

Harry did not at all believe him...

An entire year went by shockingly peacefully. Well, for the most part. Dumbledore had begun ignoring Harry, which made him wonder about the old man's credibility. Shouldn't he have been teaching him things instead? How was ignoring him going to help out in this war?

Harry couldn't for the life of him understand how he was supposed to defeat the Dark Lord with a concept he barely understood himself. Right now, the word 'love' sounded quite a bit like the word 'bullshit'. At least as far as he was concerned.

Unfortunately, mere days before he was due to begin his OWLs, Harry found himself face to face with the Dark Lord Voldemort yet again.

Dammit.

There was an attack. At Hogwarts, no less. It seemed that even after a student from the school had become a Dark Lord, the castle hadn't ever been warded against him. For some bloody reason Dumbledore wasn't willing to explain.

That was why no one had known Voldemort was living off the back of Quirrell's head, or how Ginny was being possessed by Diary Tom. (And why, as Harry was later going to learn, he himself was allowed inside, despite the fact that he was harbouring a piece of Voldemort's soul in him.)

...Seriously?

Before Harry knew it, he, his fellow schoolmates, and some professors, along with the Headmaster, found themselves on the castle grounds, standing opposite Voldemort and a fair few of his loyal Death Eaters. The Aurors were running late and hadn't managed to make it there yet.

Harry wasn't quite sure he wanted to be one anymore. Why was everyone so bloody incompetent?

They battled, but there was an outcry for fifteen year old Harry Potter to do something himself. To take care of this all himself, being the Boy-Who-Lived and all. It seemed no one actually gave a damn about his age or skill. He had been declared their Saviour against his will, when he was an infant no less, so he was expected to save them all or whatever. Harry vaguely wondered whether they'd have stuck him in front of Voldemort if he were five year old, instead of fifteen too. ...Actually, they probably would have, even though he wouldn't have had a wand yet. They were just that idiotic. ...Why was he supposed to save them all again?

"What the fuck do you people expect me to do!?" he cried out in frustration. The Dark Lord had literally decades more experience than him. Harry hadn't even known magic existed one decade ago! There was no way he was a match for this guy!

"You must focus on the power of love!" Dumbledore reminded him most unhelpfully. He, like most, was standing further back in the crowd of people. ...Really?

Harry just scowled. Love? What in the world could he do with that!? How the heck was that going to solve anything!? Harry didn't understand love at all!

And then, like a bolt from the blue, the emerald eyed teen was struck with a sudden epiphany. Two words echoed through his mind over and over again: Fuck this.

Harry lowered his wand, shocking everyone. Taking advantage of that, he slowly, and very calmly, walked right over to Voldemort. The Dark Lord, still caught up in his surprise, didn't even move.

And then Harry hugged him.

Silence. Complete and utter silence greeted this baffling action, before being punctured by gasps of sheer shock.

Voldemort was shocked too, more so than anyone else, and was extremely slow to react, no doubt because no one had ever hugged him before. He stood stiffly, and opened his mouth to speak. But before he could, Harry, his arms still firmly wound around him, looked up at him and asked-

"So? In love yet?"

"...What?"

"I asked if you were in love with me yet."

"...No?"

"Bummer." Without releasing the embrace, Harry looked over at a wide eyed Dumbledore. "Whelp, I guess 'the power he knows not' isn't love after all. I really hope you have a plan B, Headmaster."

Everyone stared, looking between Harry and Dumbledore. They didn't understand this at all. Had Dumbledore only taught the Boy-Who-Lived that hugging You-Know-Who would defeat him!? That was it!? Shouldn't he have been teaching him advanced magic or something!? Hugging!? Harry was too small to hug the guy to death! This wasn't going to accomplish anything! What in the world was Dumbledore thinking!?

As it turned out, Dumbledore did not, in fact, have a plan B. He had believed love would conquer all! How could he possibly have been wrong!? After all, it was love that had helped him defeat Gellert! So why did the same no work here?

Needless to say, the night didn't end well for Albus Dumbledore. Voldemort, however, amused by Harry, decided to keep him alive and at his side just for the hell of it.

It ended up being the best decision he had ever made.

FIN

And that's that. Looking forward to reviews! Laterz!