AN: So...hi! Long time no see! This has been sitting on my computer for some time now, unfinished, and today was...let's call it spring cleaning, on my disk, and I found it, and finished it, and voilá! (sp?)
Anyways, hope you enjoy it, and drop me a line if you can.
10 Things about Booth
1. He remembers being a small child, running around in his backyard, playing hide and seek, chasing his brother around, being happy and carefree. Sometimes, when his life is all death and chaos, and darkness, he can't help but wish to go back to those times. But then, he looks at all the good things in his life, his son and his partner, his family, his friends, all the good he does in the world, and that wish disappears as fast as it came.
2. He was a popular kid at school. He never tried to be it, but he didn't fight it either. He played several sports through his school career, dated a lot of pretty girls, had lots of friends. Lots of great moments to remember by.
Still, the moment that will always haunt him when he thinks of his school years is the sound of that boy, hanging from the stair rail, pleading with his friends, them laughing, and him feeling unbearably guilty.
3. The first time he decided he wanted to go into the army, he was six years old. He loved to listen to his grandfather and father's stories, loved to play with his brother (he was always the good guy, the soldier). But he can't forget the day he told his family he was going to sign up, the way his mother's eyes filled with dread, the way his dad's eyes filled up with guilt, the way his brother's eyes filled with hurt, for leaving him. And he will never want to forget the way his grandfather's eyes filled with pride and care, even if with a hint of fear behind those feelings.
And when he was feeling so tired he'd thought he'd die, or so sad for the lives lost, and wondered why he was there, his mind's eye would see that look again, giving him enough strength to go on. Even if only for the day.
4. He doesn't know why, but almost everyone usually assumes that his relationship with his brother is not the best. He can't think of a biggest lie. Even though their personalities, their goals in life, even their looks, are complete opposites, they always got along just fine. They talk every week; they see each other as often as possible. All in all, they love each other.
5. But his early years weren't always that perfect. Not all his memories are good. He remembers his mother crying, because her own parents wouldn't talk to her (at the time, he thought 'How can they be mad at her for loving someone? Love is a great thing, right?'), he remembers his dad's screams, when he'd wake up in the middle of the night tormented with nightmares of the war, and the next day he'd come home later, smelling like alcohol, and how his mother's eyes filled up with tears.
He remembers when his grandmother died, how Seeley couldn't quite grasp the concept and didn't believe his mother when she sat him and Jared and told them. He also remembers when he saw his grandfather, about two hours after his mother's announcement, and how, looking at the broken man's eyes, he finally realised he wasn't going to see his grandma anymore. There would be no more helping her bake cookies, and helping her tidy the house, to then sit with her, grandpa and Jared, eating those cookies and hearing old stories, about the war, the house, and how the two elder people met and fell in love, and all those stories he loved.
He also remembers a thought that came to his mind almost immediately. 'What about grandpa?' He asked his mother that same question, and she answered, quite tearfully, 'I don't know, baby'. He then went to the living room, where his grandpa sat on the big, old and worn couch. He climbed to his grandpa's lap and put his arms around him, trying his best to comfort the old man he loved so much.
6. Before he enlisted in the Army, he went to college. Two years of discussing literature and religion and philosophy. He had good grades too. His teachers thought he'd have a great future. But still, no matter how much he loved it, he felt like he had a bigger purpose, and remembered the tales told by the older men in his family, and how much he wanted to be like them when he was a little kid. So he did it. He enlisted. And even if he has his regrets (lots and lots of them), he never regretted enlisting and serving his country, a greater cause.
7. When he looks back into the past, he's happy Rebecca said no to his rushed proposal. He doesn't like that he can't see his son very often, or that Rebecca and him used to fight a lot, and Parker knew. But when he thinks about it, he knows she wasn't the one for him.
And he's pretty happy about his relationship with her. They had their problems (lots of them), but now they get along fine, and she's not as argumentative as she was before that last time they were together. He never found out what made her change her attitude, and when asked, she only smiles enigmatically, like if she knows something he doesn't.
8. Parker is the most amazing, breathtaking, precious, wonderful and beautiful thing he's ever made. He didn't think it was possible that he could feel a pain greater than the one he feels because of his "sins" (no matter how much Bones and everyone try to convince him that those are not sins), but he does, every single time he has to watch his son' smile fade away when he has to leave. Although he doesn't love Rebecca anymore (at least not romantically), he sometimes wonders if she and himself are egotistical, awful parents for not being together, for not having made an effort. And most of all, he wonders if (and prays that it won't happen) Parker resents him for not being there as much as he should, or if he will someday. That's the second biggest reason why he dedicates himself so much to his work; he keeps busy and hopes to help turn the world into a better place, kind of like a way of making it up to his son.
9. He loves his work. For the obvious reasons (because it just feels so cool to introduce himself as Special Agent Seeley Booth, and having a badge and the standard-issue SUV, etc), for helping him with his "cosmic balance sheet", but most of all, for giving him his partner. His amazing, extremely annoying, incredibly intelligent and infuriatingly beautiful partner. So, yeah, she may be much too literal, and arrogant, and countless other flaws he can thing of, but she knows him better than anyone, no matter how clueless she can be.
10. Just so fucking clueless, why can't she just see what is right in front of her cute nose, and just give him the indication he needs that she wants him to cross the damn line. Sometimes he feels like a coward, for needing that signal from her, but then he thinks of what his life would be without her, and he knows he couldn't take a rejection from her. So he carries on with being just her friend (no, not just, nothing to do with them can ever be just), with the long dinners, and conversations, and banter, and hugs, and comfort, and everything so uniquely theirs, because even though he longs for her in ways that their friendship/partnership can never satisfy, that's much better than nothing, than anything he's ever had. And so, he waits.
AN: ? What did you think?