Summary - 'This life ain't meant to be lived without him, without him, I know.' After everything that's happened, Sara can't seem to get a certain Leonard Snart out of her mind. Post Season 2, inspired by Christina Grimmie's 'Without Him'

I started writing this a few days after the penultimate episode 'Doomworld'. I got so far until I decided that I'd wait until after 'Aruba' so I could get a better idea of how to write this.

I was listening to 'Without Him' sung/written by Christina Grimmie (RIP love, we miss you dearly) when this popped up. I love this song and its singer dearly. The chorus is mentioned throughout the fic. I do recommend that you listen to this song and Christina's music in general. It's all we have of her. Gosh, I miss her so much.

I don't own Legends of Tomorrow.

Enjoy!

She watches him smack his partner in the head with his cold gun, the man with the heat gun falling onto his side. He rests his cold gun against his old friend while he's throwing an arm inside the Oculus.

Where his hands are pressing down onto the failsafe that's supposed to destroy the Oculus.

She runs up the ramp leading to the device, steals a glance at the unconscious Mick Rory and looks at him.

"Get 'im outta here!" He instructs in a yell.

"No," She firmly answers back, not truly believing what he's planning to do.

He pauses for a moment, taking in the emotion written over her face. Fear. Panic. Then, partly in a whisper, he says, "Just do it."

She blinks; she's not ready to lose him yet. Not after everything they've been through. The bar fight back in 1975, when he told her not to kill Stein, freezing their asses off together on the Waverider…

Right from the start, he lured me in,
Took me to places I've never been.

It's not the time.

But to him, it is.

She wanders up to him, her eyes locked and never leaving his. She can see the fear in his eyes now, the blue orbs telling her things that he's already said out loud.

'Me and you…'

Grabbing one of his arms, she pulls herself up on her toes and presses her lips against his in a desperate hope that what's happening isn't real. That maybe it's one of the Time Bastards tricks.

She knows deep down that it's not.

Their foreheads pressing together, they both push themselves into the kiss, knowing that it's going to be the last time they'll ever be touching in such a way.

I think I'm in love,
I think I'm in love.

Neither of them want this single moment to end, but eventually, they know it has to. And slowly, she pulls away from him, fluttering her eyes open to take in his features for the last time.

His open with surprise and intent, also taking in her features for the final time. The kiss only makes him seal his decision on knocking out his partner and taking his place.

He has to sacrifice himself to destroy the Oculus. To save the team… his partner… and her.

Reluctantly, she knows when to pull away from him, her hand slipping away from his arm and dropping back to her feet. She falls down to Mick, pulling his arm over her shoulder and helping him to his feet. Her hand finds the cold gun also leaning up against his frame and she picks it up with her as she helps Mick climb to his feet.

Leonard Snart can't see behind him, but from the corner of his eye, he watches as Sara Lance drags away a groggy Mick down the ramp and away from the Oculus as quickly as she can. He closes his eyes and apologises to himself for giving her that chance of 'me and you'.

He'll never be able to take that back, let alone fulfill that chance.

Rip ushers Sara to hurry up and bring Mick onto the Waverider. There's not much time left and if they don't leave soon, they'll blow up along with the Oculus and the Vanishing Point.

Along with Leonard.

Sara, at this point, would've much preferred to have stayed and blow the Oculus with him.

That's not what he wants. She saw that the second he knocked out his partner and begged her take his partner and herself away from the scene that was about to unfold.

Ray, who's also waiting inside the cargo bay, sees Sara struggling to drag the drowsy form of Mick towards the Waverider, and barges past Rip to help take the load off her. He wraps one of Mick's arms over his own shoulder, pulling him off Sara completely and easily dragging him over onto the time-travelling ship.

The White Canary goes to leap onto the ship after them, but pauses, looking behind her at what is to be the last sight of the functioning Vanishing Point.

Somewhere in this place is a changed Leonard Snart, sacrificing himself for her and the rest of the team.

She closes her eyes, seeing what she last saw of him through her closed eyelids.

He might have bent me, but I didn't break,
He rearranged that map I made.

"Sara!" Rip yells at her, "NOW!"

There's a faint whirring noise in the distant, and that's the cue Sara needs to open her eyes, each one filled with tears and regret, to leap aboard the Waverider.

The first and the many more times she'll board without him.

But I think I'm in love,
I think I'm in love.

With the door now sealed shut, Rip rushes up the stairs to quickly fly the Waverider away from the Vanishing Point. Sara follows him to the main room of the ship, where everyone else is waiting in the mechanical chairs. Sara climbs into one of them just as the time-travelling ship takes off and away from their current location, the sounds of explosions erupting behind them.

With the ship now flying around safely in the temporal zone, everyone takes their chance to rest and take in what's just occurred.

Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs, is dead.

The self-proclaimed survivor… is a survivor no more.

Sara rests near the captain's empty chair, elbows resting on her knees and hands clutched together so tightly, her knuckles were turning white. She's struggling to hold back those emotions that threaten to tear her apart in front of the whole team.

"He traded his life for ours. He was a hero." Sara begins to lift her head slightly when Ray does something no one has done since the Waverider began floating around comfortably in the Temporal Zone, "Which I'm pretty sure is the last thing he wanted to be remembered as."

The blonde woman looks up, turning her head towards Ray and seeing the back of Mick's frame briefly, "But that's what he was." Her eyes linger at the back of Mick's head, knowing that even though he's staring into the office, he's really staring off into space, trying to figure out where to go next without his partner.

Why was his death affecting Sara so much? Yeah, Leonard Snart's dead. Usually she wouldn't have been so cut up about someone dying.

But the person who's died is the same person who gave her that chance of 'me and you'. Something that rarely occurs. Something she's never really felt since her death.

And it happened to her. Of all people in the world, two broken people managed to find another.

Only to be ripped apart.

Now am I crazy?
Why can no one understand,
That I'll never find a better man, oh no.

At that thought, she looks away from everything once more, too weak to fight her emotions. She brushes a tear away from her eye, clutching her hands together once more as she finally lets the tears fall down her pale cheeks.

And how she sits on her bed now is almost the exact match of how she sat that night after letting his death sink in.

She's dressed in a grey oversized shirt and black ¾ tights, leaning against the back of her bed and her arms resting on her raised knees.

It's been awhile since she's thought about his death. For that while, she felt that she had gotten over it. That she didn't need to grieve anymore thanks to stepping up to the role as team captain.

But it's also been a while since she saw him.

Even though it wasn't really him.

Seeing Leonard Snart in that way threw her off guard. That man was he used to be before Rip Hunter brought them onto the Waverider for this time-travelling journey.

Her eyes are drawn to the small deck of cards lazily splatted out over her desk, some of them flipped up on the right side. From her seat, she can just make out the small Seven of Hearts, the red sticking out amongst the black clubs and spades.

In her darkness, he was, in some way, her light that helped her guide herself to becoming a better person. To not be that assassin that rose from the dead via the Lazarus Pit.

Sara's still trying to figure out how she's been coping without him over her shoulder, making little quips about the odd things here and there.

Maybe he has been.

She snorts to herself. Impossible.

But…

Stop it, Sara.

So she does.

I'm just imagining a life without my baby,
And I know, I know.

She closes her eyes, breathing in and out deeply, remembering the image of him when he was locked up in the brig, drawling out questions of what she had planned for him and Darhk.

Then his face after their kiss at the Vanishing Point pops up.

Comparing the two, there's certainly a difference. His 2014 self was younger-looking of course. That person she had to fight was more darker, a person who couldn't give a damn when he killed someone.

He'd changed so much from when he boarded the Waverider that day to the man he ended up becoming. A hero.

A legend.

Then her eyes open, with one eyebrow arched up.

Legends never die, she hears the words her former future self say.

So if that saying is true, then is Leonard Snart really gone? Or is he out there somewhere, waiting for her to find him?

This life ain't meant to be lived without him,

Without him.

Sara will keep hoping. She'll always keep hoping.

It's a long shot, but if she keeps hoping, then maybe, just maybe, things may find themselves put together after all.

This life ain't meant to be lived without him, without him, I know.

So this is probably the end of me writing for Legends of Tomorrow until the next season. You'll be quite lucky to see me type up anything at all. My focus is now permanently back on school for the next few months.

I need to applaud the writers/creators of Legends of Tomorrow. They've done this series justice with Season 2. Season 1 lacked the spice and flavour this season had and I'm proud to see this show grow in popularity and love.

There's a few things that I want to see in Season 3 such as new characters and new adventures, but I also really hope the writers/creators find some sort of way to bring Season 1 Leonard Snart back. Even if it's only for the tiniest scene ever, we deserve it after sticking beside the show since its beginning.

Reviews are welcomed, so is criticism. Please let me know of any spelling errors or mistakes regarding the show.

Thanks for reading!