Angst. More specifically, Peter Angst.
Harry Potter fic, MWPP era
PG? Probably.
Length: 391 words exactly including the title.
Title: What Peter Knows
Author: Oravannahka
Warnings: umm... I haven't written fic for at least two months. This is also beta-less.
Disclaimer: simply put, not mine.
What Peter Knows
Peter knows something that James and Sirius and even Remus will never understand. Peter knows, simply put, not knowing. The other three will not, cannot grasp what it means to hear a question and… simply not know the answer. So that no matter how hard he studies or how simple the question actually is, he just can't get it. People don't understand this. They think he's not applying himself. It's easy for them, effortless, and they don't know why he doesn't comprehend things.
"It's so obvious," James berates.
"You're really dense sometimes," Sirius mocks.
And lastly Remus looking sad and bewildered and not understanding.
He doesn't hate them for it, no. Or at least he tells himself that. He finds that pointless, hating the only people who talk to him. But underneath, there could be a subconscious crust of hate, desperation, and anger. He doesn't give into it, though. So… in a way he's stronger than them. It's so easy to forgive when you have everything and don't need anything. When you have nothing, you clutch to it.
But it's no just about grades or forgiveness – it's about living in the shadow, and everyone not understanding, He's pureblood, sorted into Gryffindor and he's hated for it. At first he clung to Sirius, hoping he'd understand. But Sirius enjoyed the rebellion far too much. Got a thrill from flipping a teacher off. And he didn't care what other people thought.
But Peter cares. He cares so much it hurts. He tells himself that he doesn't care, tries to be completely apathetic. But that's just another thing they don't get. He wants, needs people to admire him, he cares what they think. He shouldn't, but it's a part of him, inexplicable. Not something he can just shut off like James can.
Telling about everything the other Marauders don't know could take years. In Peter's case, he will never tell it all. He could talk to them, but they would still never understand.
You will never understand.
The words reverberate in Peter's head, childish and stupid.
But true.