A/N: Hi there! Just to let you all know, English is not my native language, so if you find some mistakes don't kill me right away, just let me know and I will correct them.
I've tried my best not to let them go OOC, but if they did I apologize. I don't even know if anyone will read this, I was doing it more for myself(yes, I'm selfish like that). Anyway, if you do, let me know what you think. This story is almost finished, so I will update regularly! This is me expressing my love towards HitsuRuki! :) Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach!

Together Alone

Broken

He was not going to take this anymore. Everything he had done in his life was for her and now... No, Hitsugaya Toshiro, the Captain of the 10th Division will not be used like this, humiliated like this. No, not anymore. He wanted to kill him, kill her, yell... do something, anything, the rage had been eating him for the last hour, but he just stood there. Stood by that cherry tree, motionless. The weather started to change quickly, and before he knew there was a snow storm on the way. But he didn't care; he just stood there looking at the ground. He couldn't even speak, or cry, not that he would allow that in the first place. Everything was clear now. He just couldn't understand why he hasn't seen that before. It was clear as a day that she wanted nothing to do with him. At least, not in a way he did. First he blamed Aizen and thought he made her think the way she did, and then he thought she was hurt and confused, so he let her be. He thought that if she had time to think about everything, about all the bad things that man has done, she would see that she could only relay on one person and one person only – him. And indeed, she got better, she started to laugh and go out of her room, but she was still acting the same way towards him, nothing has changed. And when he asked her is everything alright and does she want to talk about anything, she would just smile and say that everything is okay, and that he shouldn't worry about her that much. Hitsugaya Toshiro was not a stupid man, he knew that she was suffering but the fact that she wouldn't share her thoughts with him was confusing. He was her best friend, the only person she could always count on, even after she defended Aizen, he was silent, he tried to understand her. Still, she decided to take comfort in that man. That blond jerk. Face of that man appeared in his mind and he just exploded. He began to hit that cherry tree with his fists the hardest he could. He could feel the pain and his hands were bleeding, but he just didn't care. He just fucking didn't care.

"Captain, you're going to get really hurt that way." The girl said, standing near the pond that was three feet away from that cherry tree. She was standing there for the last 10 minutes and he has done the same thing over and over again.

"Go away Kuchiki!" Toshiro said not even looking at her, and he hasn't even tried to hide anger in his voice. He knew it was obvious, he was hitting a damn tree and she was there for at least 10 minutes watching him. He just couldn't erase that image in his head. That man…and her.

"I will if you stop doing that…Captain." She added the last part shyly, because she felt she was indeed asking too much from him right now. He was angry to a point that a storm has started in whole Soul Society and if she had to be a new object of his hatred right this moment, it's better that than some innocent bystander. She knew she was far from being innocent.

"Kuchiki…" He said impatiently and took a deep breath, because he knew he had to calm down just a little, or he would cut her trout right that second, "I'm going to say this one last time…GO AWAY!"

She nearly jumped when he shouted that last part and she knew that this was not her business, but she couldn't just leave a Captain like this. He was a mess. His face was red from anger, clothes wet and hands covered in blood. No, she was not planning on leaving now. Not Kuchiki Rukia. She knew pain very well, too well.

"I said that I will when-" she couldn't even finish that sentence because she was pushed on the nearest tree by that white-haired Captain that was now hissing in her face. She could feel the pain flowing through her body from the sudden impact. When she raised her head, and met those angry teal orbs she saw them softening the moment she looked at them. He then let her go and turned his back. His body was still stiff from anger and she could see his hands that were bloody and clenched in fists.

"There, I stopped. Now…go."

"Yes sir!" And with that she left.

He shouldn't have done that. But he really didn't care at this point; he was still trying to get rid of that image in his head. He wanted to help her, be with her and protect her and she chose that blond prick.

"How the hell did I become like this?" He wasn't even sure who was he asking that, because it was obvious he didn't have an answer. Am I that desperate, that pathetic? What the hell did I do this whole time? And why? For who? For that bitch that doesn't even know I exist.

His thoughts have been interrupted by loud noises that came from a forest. Toshiro couldn't see anything from the trees that were hiding whatever was happening in there. He then heard a shout and seconds after that he senesced a hollow reiatsu and somebody else… "Kuchiki..."

When he got there he could see that he really wasn't needed in a first place. Rukia was cutting that hollow like it was made from sand. Her body moved like there was music in the background and Toshiro remembered that her attacks were indeed called dances. Even though she had a lot of openings and mistakes in her attacks he was now convinced why she became a vice-captain in a first place. That woman had power and force behind those dances. And before he knew hollow was defeated.

"Not bad." He said before even thinking why the hell speak to her in a first place! She annoyed him and made him angrier not two minutes before this.

"Thank you Captain!" And teal met violet once again. He broke the gaze and turned around to leave but then curiosity got the best of him.

"Kuchiki…"

"Yes sir?" Rukia was standing in the mud, still holding Sode no Shirayuki in her hands. The fight that just happened didn't affect her much, but she was still annoyed because her clothes were soaking wet and covered with mud. And then this Captain appeared. She worried for a second he would scold her for everything that happened few minutes before. It really wasn't her place to interrupt him, but it was that or someone else getting hurt. She really didn't have any other option.

"What the hell are you doing here in 2 in the morning?" And the moment he said it, he regretted it. Why the hell did he have a need to talk to her…twice? Rukia was little surprised, but soon she snapped out of it.

"I am sorry Captain, I felt the storm coming so I just followed your reiatsu." She said bowing down, her violet orbs now looking at the ground.

"Why?" And once again he asked her to speak. What the hell Toshiro? Just. Fucking. Leave. But he wasn't moving.

"I don't know. I just felt that I should."

What the hell? She just felt that she should? This girl is plain weird. After a few seconds he felt that he could move again, so he just turned his back and left, not even saying a word to that petite shinigami who was still standing there, looking at the ground.

But it didn't matter. Rukia knew that look, and the pain. But most of all, she knew how hard he worked to keep it sealed in him, to not show it to anyone, not even to himself. She was just glad she saved any innocent bystander, who would eventually cross ways with Hitsugaya Toshiro, from getting hurt. He shot one trace of anger towards her and that made him calm, even if it was just a little, it was enough. But she knew, that rage will either come up at one point or eat him whole inside. And it was his choice and his choice only. Not that she cared that much. And when she thinks about it, she's not even sure why the hell she was even here in the first place? Must've been the storm. But deep down she knew it was more than that.

When Aizen was defeated and Rukia said her goodbyes to Ichigo and others she returned to Soul Society and started her training along with anyone else. She knew she can no longer be weak like she was and endanger everyone around her just because she couldn't protect herself. She could no longer use her brother or death of Kaien as an excuse why she wasn't trying harder. She could no longer bow down to every order and wish that came from Kuchiki mansion. She just couldn't. She had to try harder, fight better and be stronger, lives of her friends, family and companions depended on the fact how well she'll do out there. It was not a choice, not a question…she had to do it. She no longer questioned her existence. It was them all along. She fought and lived for them, and had no right to abandon them. Not now, not ever. Now she could finally understand Ichigo and his will, his strength and power. Once she thought that every emotion was useless and considered as a flaw. Not anymore. Ichigo taught her that and she was grateful. It was not going to go in vein.

Months passed and her routine did not change at all. She would get up in 5 in the morning and go to the training ground. And every day she found him there. They ignored each other and that didn't bother her. She was just glad someone else had the same need. Need for power. He had his reasons and she had hers, but in the end it was the same thing – to protect. She knew his reasons had something to do with Momo, and her betrayal – if you could even call it that. She understood the girl, it's not easy to let go of your believes no matter what others think. And Momo believed in Aizen. If it was Rukia in her place and the man in question was Kaien, maybe she would've done the same thing. Maybe everyone would. They teach you to trust your elders, to be ready to give your life for them. But that's not why Momo was guilty. Momo choose to believe in Aizens word over Toshiro's and maybe that was the reason he was hurt in a first place. If it was Rukia and Ichigo, or Rukia and Renji she would never question them for something like that. For a murder. Did Momo really think Captain Hitsugaya could kill him? A captain, who was innocent at the time? Why? Is it her love for that awful man? Love – can it really make you do those things? Blur your mind to a level you question your own friends and family? How would she know? Rukia was never in love, right?

She would watch him sometimes. His techniques, his style and power. And all those questions would pop up in her mind. Was it their friendship that made him forgive her, or was it….love? But quickly she would concentrate on her own practice. It wasn't her style to but in in other people business. After that she would go to her squad, because she had a lot of work to do now that she was a lieutenant. It wasn't something she didn't know how to do, it was the same when she was unseated, it was just doubled now. Soon after they got back from war Captain-Commander Yamamoto decided it was time to sort out empty seats in Gotei 13, and her captain decided to give her this position no matter what Byakuya said. Byakuya was probably pissed, but he didn't say a word about it. Maybe it was because of that war. Rukia did in fact beat an Espada all alone. But unlike everybody else she didn't consider that as something to be proud of, because if her brother haven't came when he did, she would be dead, and that battle was not a success, it was luck. So she decided it was time for a change. If it was Rukia from year ago she would've declined that position because she knew how her brother would react to that, but she didn't… Why? Because it was time to move from that spot she was in ever since Kaien's death. That battle did one thing good, and it had to do with Rukia's forgiveness. She forgave herself. She knew Kaien was right when he asked her to kill him and it was indeed the right thing to do at that moment. At least his heart was safe now.

But nights were very hard on her. She felt alone and bored most of the time. She didn't know why but she couldn't sleep much ever since that war. And the fact she was now a lieutenant she had to move to their quarters, so she was alone in a room right next to Captain Ukitake, and most of the time he wasn't even there due to his sickness. Sometimes she would read the books she brought from Ichigo, but those books were very confusing to her. All of them talked about something she didn't understand - love. It was all from a guy named Shakespeare; apparently Ichigo liked him and his writing. And it was good, but it was confusing to her. Love. Why is that so important? Everywhere I go there's that word again. Love. Humans wrote books, songs, plays, movies…everyone longed for it, wanted it, searched for it. Why? She understood the concept, but the purpose wasn't clear to her.

When she heard a male voice she then came to her senses and saw that she was still in that woods staring at the ground, and wet from snow storm that was still going on.

"Kuchiki, what the hell is wrong with you? Go home."

When she lifted her head she saw him standing there, blood still on his hands.

"Sorry Captain. I'll leave now" and she started to move, but then turned around and said: "You should go home too, it's late and too cold, even for you and me Captain." And it was. It was below freezing. The only reason they haven't collapsed from it, staying there all wet, was their power alone – ice. And then she left.

What the hell is it with that girl? She just stared at the ground for at least 15 minutes... Oh well, whom am I to talk. Fucking tree. He looked at his hands that were now pulsating from pain. Blood still dropping and she was right, it was too cold here. So he decided to go home. I need to get some sleep before tomorrow; Matsumoto will laugh if I come after her. I wouldn't see the end of it. He decided to walk, not to use flash step, he needed to calm down, to think. And he was at least half hour away from his division, that would give him enough time to at least start breathing normally again. I need to change this. I can no longer be like this. She's not worth this much trouble. And I am a Captain, I have other responsibilities. Yes, it was all true. But can you just decide something and ignore your feelings? Can you? Can you just ignore everything and believe it will go away eventually? He knew better that this, but it was the only way to keep his sanity. Maybe Momo thought about him as a friend, and she wasn't the one to blame for his feeling right now, but that didn't matter to him. In his mind she betrayed him. In his mind she chose Kira over him. And work was his only choice right now, his only way out of this.

"Oh, good morning Shiro-chan! What brings you here so early in the morning?" Ukitake was really a morning person. That or he had too much coffee. Toshiro didn't get much sleep last night and when he saw that Matsumoto will be gone this whole day he wasn't feeling any better. But the last drop was the fact that he had to stop by division 13 to get the evaluation for new members. He was not in the mood for Ukitake or his candy right now. It didn't matter to that man that Toshiro was not a child anymore, he was still treating him like one. And yes, Toshiro hated that. Right now he would love to know who put his division with this one for that damn evaluation. He would kill that person right on the spot.

"Good morning Ukitake. I came for evaluation papers."

"Evaluation papers? I don't know anything about that. I just came home this morning. I was away for 3 weeks at least." Ukitake said casually with soft smile on his features and then took a sip of tea. Toshiro looked at him for a moment and then frowned.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do now?" No, scratch that…this was the last drop. Toshiro was frickin' furious.

"Oh calm down Shiro-chan." He said waving his hand. "It's nothing to be mad about. I know who can help us!" Ukitake placed the cup back on the table and then got up and went to the door.

"RUKIA? RUKIA, COME, WE NEED YOUR HELP!" When he yelled Toshiro could feel the vein on his forehead pulsating.

He heard someone running trough hallway and then she came. Rukia was all muddy and her hair was a mess. She looked like she was rolling in that mud for a while. Her eyebrows were up and eyes slightly widen. She was looking at her Captain for a moment and then she switched the gaze at Toshiro after realizing he was standing there too.

"Good morning Captain Hitsugaya!" Toshiro just nodded and kept looking at her. She was indeed a mess, but still graceful as ever. That was strange about her. No matter what she was doing she wore that grace around her. Must be a Kuchiki thing he thought.

"Rukia, we need your help." Ukitake said interrupting the looks between the two. "Well, Shiro-chan does." Ukitake could see a vein pop on Toshiro's forehead when he said his name, so he chuckled.

"How can I help you Captain?"

"I need evaluation papers. They said your division will be working with tenth this year." He said, his voice showing boredom, still looking at her. How can she help with this?

"Oh…OH! That's not a problem. Will you wait here for couple of minutes, I just have to change?" Apparently Rukia just now realized her kimono had mud all over. She even had mud on her arms and face.

"Fine." Was all he could say right now. WHAT? This has to be a joke? The moment she left he turned to Ukitake. But before he could mutter a word Ukitake had a smile on his face and started talking.

"Yes Shiro-chan, Rukia can do evaluation. Matter of fact…" he said now turning his gaze at the wall, with serious face and a flicker of sadness in his eyes. "…she does everything around here. I feel sorry for her sometimes, but this disease won't let me stay here for long, so she has to do all of it. She even trains recruits." He placed one finger on his chin in thought. "Come to think of it, I think she was just doing that."

It's small to say Toshiro was amazed. He was beyond that. And you could see that, because his mouth was slightly open and eyes widened, he was speechless. Ukitake must've seen that because he laughed.

"I will have to go now. I hope you don't mind Shiro-chan, but I have a lot of work to do and not much time, since I'll been leaving again in three days. If you need anything else, just ask Rukia, I guarantee she can help." Toshiro just nodded and Ukitake left still amused because of Toshiro's reaction. I guess I would be surprised too, if I had Matsumoto for a lieutenant. He must've passed Rukia on hallway because Toshiro heard them speaking. Soon after that she came in the office, now clean and fresh.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting Captain. I'll find those papers right now, but… Captain Ukitake said you will need to approve all the evaluation, because he'll be gone again and has no time to do that. I hope that's acceptable?" She said looking at his hands that were now healed and had no proof of what was going on last night. The only thing that could be proof that Rukia didn't hallucinate last night was snow that was on the grounds. It stopped around 4am, probably the hour Captain Hitsugaya fell asleep. She then lifted her head because he put those hands behind his back obviously aware of her gaze. And yes, violet met teal once again, but teal was not angry like last night and Rukia felt easier because of that. She was really worried for him.

"That won't be a problem. I have to do mine either way."

"Great. There they are." She said now at the Captain Ukitake's table. "Those are the ones from the students that are finishing this year, and this one are from the new recruits. I filed them in alphabetical order."

He then walked to the table and sat on the nearest chair looking at the papers Rukia just handed to him. He was really amazed. They were all sorted perfectly and every evaluation was neatly done. His face must've been weird, because Rukia then asked:

"Is everything okay Captain? Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" she broke his strain of thought "Oh…no, no, they are fine. It's just…" Even he didn't know what to say, what to ask. Did she really do all of this? When? I can see her every morning on training grounds, and she was out late last night? Rukia was silent. She could see that he was thinking of something, and after last night she was kind of scared of his reactions, so she didn't ask anything. He then lifted his head and looked at those violet orbs.

"I wanted to apologize Kuchiki." He said almost whispering.

"What? Why?"

"I wasn't myself last night." His gaze was now on his hands. He really looked tired and…sad maybe? She couldn't tell. But she was too surprised to even think about that. Captain Hitsugaya apologized? What?

"What?" Yes, she was indeed surprised. Her expression was really funny. Her eyes were wide in shock and lips slightly open. Toshiro couldn't help but smirk. I was right, this girl is plain weird. But his face turned serious right away.

"I said that I wanted to apologize, why are you so surprised? I could've killed you last night." He said still looking at her.

"Oh that… No need to apologize Captain. You told me to leave, it was my fault."

Toshiro just watched her. This girl was really strange. When she was on the training ground he could see and feel her power, but somehow she always looked too fragile. And he knew her side when she was with that substitute and then again when her brother showed up. Apparently she had many faces, all similar but different. But that grace never left her side. Whatever she did she made it seem so simple and yet graceful. But he wondered… what was she really like? There was something else there. Under that stoic face. There were moments you could see her, but that disappeared really quickly. Why?

"RUKIA!" That broke that gaze they held. Someone was yelling from the hallway. And they soon discovered who it was, because red headed lieutenant soon ran into the office.

"Rukia…" He almost sat on the floor. He was running like crazy, so he could barely breathe. "Go to the training grounds. Some of… your recruits made a mess. Apparently…" The man couldn't catch a breath. "…apparently they were playing around with kido and now one of them is stuck in binding spell…I think."

"WHAT?" Okay, this was new to Toshiro. She was pissed. He kind of liked this look. "I told those fools to wait for me. DAMN IT!" She dropped all the papers on the table angry. "Sorry Captain, I'll be right back."

"I'm coming with you Kuchiki." Why, he didn't know. Maybe he wanted to see more of that face. And it was going to be pretty interesting to watch her with those recruits. He wanted to know.

"O-okay." Then they all ran to the training ground. When Rukia started to walk towards those recruits Renji and Toshiro stayed near fence. Renji then turned to Captain Hitsugaya with smirk.

"This is going to be very interesting. I could've managed this when I saw it, but this way…oh they are getting their ass kicked." Toshiro wanted to share that excitement, but his expression was as always, brows narrowed and face serious.

"Abarai…" That's all he said. But he was kind of glad Renji called Rukia for this. Damn it Toshiro, you should go work, not play games with this red-headed fool. I feel like Matsumoto right now. They then turned their heads back to Rukia, who was now standing right in front of those recruits. Except for the one stuck in binding spell that was still lying on the ground, they were all making a formation. Like the one you can see in the army. And they were all serious and you could almost read fear in their eyes. Oh, she's good, Toshiro thought and now he understood why Renji came all that way to get her. This IS going to be very interesting.

"WHO DID THIS?" Rukia was seriously pissed. She didn't get much sleep last night, and she was working since 5 this morning. And she was with these damn recruits since 7:30 and it was 10:30 now. She couldn't even remember if she had breakfast. She was NOT in the mood. They all just stood there looking at the ground; nobody moved or said a word. She took a deep breath, to calm herself. The anger was unbearable, but she really needed to calm down. "I asked you something. If you don't answer me I will find you all responsible and you will ALL pay for this."

Renji was seriously enjoying this. He was suppressing his laughter because he knew if Rukia saw, all of her anger will go towards him. Not going to let that happen. And Toshiro… he was again amazed. They fucking fear her. How did she manage to make them fear her? She's so…petite.

"Fine. If this is what you want, then…"

"It was me. I am sorry lieutenant Kuchiki. It was my fault. We got in to a fight and-" the boy with blonde hair was then interrupted by a very, very angry shinigami.

"I haven't asked for your reasons, I only asked who did it. Fine, you and this one on the ground will do all of the laps again and then I want to see all kido spells you know, and you will do them on one another. I want to see your tactics of dodging. I will be back in a half an hour. Be ready. The rest of you can rest." And with that she turned and started walking towards Toshiro and Renji. She didn't even bother freeing that poor boy still lying on the ground.

"Can I come to watch?"

"No Renji. This is not a game. I'm really tired and they are really pissing me of. I specifically told them I will be back soon. I left them for 20 minutes and this is what happened. I swear…" And then she saw Captain Hitsugaya standing there. His teal orbs locked with her violet ones. And her expression changed. "I am sorry Captain. You were wasting your time because of my recruits-"

"Our recruits. They are mine too, and it's not a problem Kuchiki. But…I have to go now. When you finish this come by to my office and bring the papers, I still have to check everything, meet those recruits and approve." She just nodded, and he left with flash step.

He was seriously surprised. That girl had many sides he still didn't know. Why am I so interested in this? She's a lieutenant; of course she knew how to deal with them. But… how can somebody be scared of those violet eyes? What the hell Toshiro? I'm going crazy. Where is that damn Matsumoto?

He was now in his office, already working on some papers, and of course Matsumoto still hasn't been there. He could see her table was the same as of this morning and that note she left was still on his. She can come early to leave a note that she will not be working, but she can't show up for work that early in a first place? Typical. And when he stopped what he was doing, he remembered something he wanted to forget ever since last night. Momo. And again that image popped in his head. He hasn't seen her or that blonde jerk since last night. How could she choose that fucking idiot? What the hell am I doing? This is got to stop! But this fucking rage… I could kill them right now. He was really mad. Maybe more at himself. He had lost control twice last night. He wasn't even thinking properly. But that scene made his blood boil. And the mere fact that it kept repeating itself over and over in his mind didn't help at all. He was now standing, his head lowered and hands placed on his desk and clutched in fists. He wasn't mad, he was fucking furious. Everything just kept replaying itself: Aizen, that bloody war, Momo, Kira…everything.

"Captain…" there they are again. Teal orbs mad, no…furious. Toshiro was still standing in the same way, he just lifted his head to see the person who was talking to him. And there they are again…violet was once again there when he lost his control. Rukia could only do one thing here. "Captain, follow me!" And then she flash stepped out of his office. He couldn't even ask her why, he just followed.

"What the hell Kuchiki? Why are we here?" They were standing near that forest once again. He could see that cherry tree and the pond. Sun was now right above them. It was near 12 o'clock.

"Fight me Captain!"

"WHAT?"

"I said, fight me!" And with that she unsheathed her sword and was already in fighting stance.

"Kuchiki…" There it was again, that impatient voice. He was about to break down, he could not control it.

"Captain, do not ask me what am I doing, just get your sword and fight damn it. You cannot go on like that. It will eat you from inside out. FIGHT ME!" And that did it. He got his sword and attacked. Even he was surprised why he did it, and more surprised how she knew. But he was fucking furious. He didn't even try to go easy on her, but she held her stance good. He was indeed too powerful for her, but it was not the first time she fought someone that had that much more power than her. She knew defense well, too well if you ask her. Soon, everything was frozen around them. No, it was not because of their shikai, they never went in that form, it was from Hitsugaya himself, his rage… And Rukia was already breathing heavily; sweat dropping from her forehead, and hands getting tired because of constant try to defend herself. Damn it, he has power! This is going to be very hard. It's no wonder that he is a captain. And why is he so tall? Focus Rukia, damn it! But it was too late. The moment her defense flickered she was cut. Her arm now had serious injury. And the moment he saw that, he stopped. She was hurt. He hurt her. What the hell Toshiro?

"Kuchiki…damn it! DAMN IT!"

"It's okay Captain, it's just a cut." She said getting up. It was really hard to do that, but she knew she had to. It wasn't his fault, she made him angry to a point he would attack her. But the moment she stood up she felt weak again and started to fall, but she never touched the ground. Toshiro was quick enough to catch her. He basically wrapped his hands around her waist, her head near his chest. He then put her on the ground and started healing her arm. She was very light, petite and soft. It was a great contrast from her personality. At least the parts he knew. And she was too damn stubborn if you ask him. She closed her eyes. That feeling was really soothing her. When he was healing her she could almost feel the ice on her skin and it was spreading onto her whole body. It felt nice. He felt nice.

"What the hell Kuchiki…why did you provoke me? I could've have killed you. And this is the second time since last night. What were you thinking?" He was still healing her, one hand on hers and the other was on her stomach, and when her eyes opened his gaze again softened, just like last night. What is it with this girl?

"Captain… I understand." That was all she said before she closed her eyes again, trying to enjoy that ice on her body. It really felt great. It was like she was floating and breathing like never before. What is that? How does he do that?

"Kuchiki…I could've had hurt you… I did actually! It could've been worse than this. Why did you…" His expression softened. He couldn't even finish that sentence. How could he do this to her…twice? She then opened her eyes, and placed her other hand on the one on her stomach, on his. His eyes were wide open now. When he looked at her she was simply smiling, looking at him and smiling. And this was in fact calming him.

"Captain Hitsugaya… this is bad. Believe me when I say it…you can walk like this for a long time, but…but when you explode…Whatever it is, let it go. Forgive and let go. Yes…I know it's easy to just say that, but when you decide to make peace with yourself it will come easier than you think." If he was amazed with this woman before, than this what he felt right now was too big to describe with that word alone.

"How did you…"

"Know? It wasn't too hard to guess. I saw you on the training ground and I could see that you were holding back on every attack… and that was anger. I could see the rage last night. So… it wasn't very hard to guess with everything that happened around here." The wound was healed, and she was a bit disappointed because ice immediately left her body. Toshiro helped her stand up, still looking at her. Her hands were small and fragile. He wondered how she had that strong defense with these fragile and soft hands. You couldn't even see one bruise on them. Few seconds later he came to his senses and saw he was still holding her hand so he let go, but their gaze never broke.

"Kuchiki…" What was he supposed to say? Should he apologize? Oh, but that went just great the last time. Should he say thank you? She wasn't supposed to see him like this, no one was. He cursed himself in his mind once again. He was a Captain, he was not supposed to behave like this. But she was right, if he continues like this it will transit in to a full fury and he will lose all control he had left.

"And well, I needed the exercise, those morning trainings weren't doing much for me anyway." The smile winded on the petite woman face. She really did understand his pain and loss. But she didn't know him that well, so she knew this must've been awkward for him, just as it was for her. When she saw he wasn't moving at all she remembered. "Captain…we should go. Those papers are waiting in your office."

Papers? What papers? Oh damn it, evaluation! Toshiro then looked at the sky and thought at least the storm hasn't come. Even though everyone thought he could control it, it wasn't the whole truth. He could summon it, but if he's not in control of his emotions he cannot make it go away, or even control its appearance if he was angry just like last night. Until now it was the only thing that gave him away. Until now…

"Yeah, we should go." So they started walking to 10th. Half an hour walk would do them good, will do him good.