Secrets
What good is telling someone something, if they don't listen. It just goes in one ear and out the other, just as if it wasn't spoken at all. A waste of breath. Someone could be hurt, or worse, killed, because no one listened. But if the words aren't spoken at all, it can be even worse.
As the sun went down over Cardiff Bay, Captain Jack Harkness sighed and looked out toward the barrier at Penarth.
It had been a long day and he was tired. He'd sent the rest of the team home at 8.30pm in a similar state.
Chasing Weevils and Blowfish or other aliens can do that to a body. Wear you down. Leave you wondering just why the hell you did this day after day. Jack knew why; protecting the Earth from alien invasion, that's why. Text book, to him.
Gwen went home to Rhys. Toshiko to a good book and a cup of camomile tea. And Owen, well, who knows with him. Ianto Jones however, had gone for a walk. To clear his head he'd told Jack. But that was over an hour and a half ago and the Welshman said he'd be back in twenty minutes, hadn't he?
Sighing again, Jack walked to the Tourist Office, unlocked the door and went inside. Once in the Hub, he went to his office and sat down. He took out his mobile phone and called Ianto. The phone rang six times the other end, before a familiar voice answered.
"Hello."
"Ianto?"
"Jack." He sounded exhausted.
"Where are you? I thought you'd be back here by now."
"I'm…at home."
"Oh, right."
"Sorry. I just needed a little time on my own to unwind. You don't mind, do you?"
"Er, no. It's just…You sure you don't want some company?"
"If you don't mind, I'd rather be on my own. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
Silence, then…
"Jack?"
"Okay. Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then." There was no resentment in his voice.
"Yep. Thanks."
Ianto hung up, leaving Jack frowning. He put down his phone, leaned back in the chair and interlaced his fingers in front of him. He sat that way for all of ten minutes before putting on his coat and heading out of the Hub.
Ianto put his phone back down on the counter and walked through to his bedroom. Sitting on the bed, he scrubbed a hand over his face. Standing up again, he began to undress, weary hands undoing buttons. When he was down to his boxers, Ianto walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. When steam rose from the shower head, he took off the last remaining piece of clothing and stepped in. The water stung his skin, but the Welshman stood there, slowly turning lobster pink.
Jack considered knocking. His right hand was raised, knuckles touching the wood of the door. He sighed, dropped his hand and put it into his trouser pocket, bringing out a key. Taking a deep breath, Jack put the key in the lock, turned it and withdrew the key, palming it. He opened the door slowly, putting the key back in his coat pocket. Even from the hall, he could hear the shower running. Walking in the direction of the bathroom, Jack carefully pushed open the door. The sight that confronted him, nearly broke his heart.
Ianto was sat on the floor, his back against the tiles, water cascading over him, rocking back and forth. He was crying silent tears.
Grabbing a large towel, Jack reached in, turned off the shower and put the towel around his lover's shoulder.
"Ianto?" Jack's voice held concern.
The younger man kept rocking, eyes closed.
Jack squatted, put his hands on Ianto's elbows and stood him up. Sitting the younger man on the toilet seat, Jack switched on the heater, then turned his attention back to his lover.
"Ianto, talk to me. Please," pleaded Jack.
Ianto just shook his head.
"Have I done something to upset you?" asked the immortal.
Again, a shake of the head.
Jack was both concerned and confused and it showed. He sighed.
"Let's get you to the bedroom and I can get you dry and into some warm clothes." He switched off the heater.
Ianto didn't resist.
Once Jack had put sweatpants and a thick T shirt on the Welshman, he led him into the lounge, sitting him on the comfy, over stuffed sofa. Jack sat beside him, taking a trembling hand in both of his.
"You're startin' to scare me now," Jack confessed. "I can't help you, if you don't tell me what's wrong."
Ianto sniffed. "Can't help," came a whispered reply. "Too late."
Jack rubbed the hand in his. "Try me."
Ianto turned his head in Jack's direction, but didn't make eye contact with the older man. "I…lied to you."
Jack frowned. "About what?"
There was a strained silence, then Ianto sighed.
"My mother…she isn't…wasn't dead."
"I knew you changed your file. I just didn't know how much."
Ianto raised tear filled eyes. "She is…was in a Sanitarium."
"Was?"
Ianto shook his head. "She died…a few hours ago."
Enlightenment struck Jack. "The phone call. Before you went for your walk."
"Rhiannon. Mum fell…jumped from a third storey window." He tried to laugh. "I knew she was depressed and sometimes more than a little confused, but…to take her own life?"
"I'm sorry."
Ianto almost smiled. "Tad thought I was going to take after her. Follow mam into the madhouse."
Jack remained silent. He knew his lover needed to talk.
"He said I was too quiet. So, I rebelled. A bad seed, he said. Mmm, right, I thought, I'll prove him wrong. I knuckled down. Got straight A's. Went to night school. College." Ianto looked at Jack. "He used to beat on me. Especially just before mam was put away." He shrugged. "Frustration, I suppose." Sigh. "When he died, I left home. Went to London. I just had to get away. Forget."
"Did you?"
"No. Never could."
"You loved her."
"I…never visited her. It was too painful, seeing her like…that. I phoned once in a while. She didn't recognise my voice." He began to shake.
Jack pulled him against his chest, petting his hair.
Why don't you put your feet up and rest against me."
"Will you stay?"
"Try and stop me."
Ianto lifted his legs on to the sofa, turned to face Jack and leaned his head against the older man's shoulder.
"Will you come to the funeral with me?"
"You know I will."
"Thanks."
Jack kissed his forehead. "Sleep."
Ianto closed his eyes and right before he fell asleep, Jack heard him whisper…'I love you'
Jack smiled. "And I love you."
THE END