Josephine is bored. She wanted to go to Neverland. She waited everyday by her window for some Neverland creature to bring her to Neverland. She had been waiting since she was 11. She never stopped believing in Neverland.
Fiver years later, she was rewarded. A flash of light entered her room. She caught it and held it in her hand. It's the talking fairy!
"Hello Josephine!"
"Hello Talking Fairy!"
"Want to go to Neverland?"
"Oh YEAH!"
So the talking fairy dumped some fairy dust on her and Josephine remembered the times when she poisoned the pigeons in the park and before she knew it, she was flying!
"Oh no!" she moaned. "I'm wearing a nightgown, everyone can see my panties!!"
The talking fairy rolled her eyes and grabs Josephine by the hair and pulled her all the way to Neverland. JOsephine could see the city below her. She slammed into five aeroplanes. She even eavesdropped on a phone sex conversation going on via a satellite.
"There's Neverland!" the talking fairy cried after an excruciating long flight. Josephine saw the fantasy island and hit the accelerator, only to realize she was levitating, not driving a car.
A boy in green leaves and a loincloth flew up and greeted her. "I'm Peter Pan!"
Josephine rolled her eyes, took out her AK-47 and shot him 26 times. His body fell into the open jaws of the croc. The talking fairy was aghast. But before she could alarm the other fairies or lost boys, Josephine grabbed her and snapped her in two!
Josephine flew to the place where all the Lost Boys lived. They were hunting bears, so Josephine shot all the Lost Boys and all the bears. She even ate their supper and slept in their beds.
When she woke up, she saw seven dwarves around her. She promptly shot them all and stole their clothes. Then she went to the Indian camp and traded the seven dwarves outfits for twenty pieces of gold. When Tiger Lily handed the money over, Josephine stuck a .38 into her mouth and blasted Tiger Lily's brains out. She then proceeded to wipe out all the Indians and she raided their camp.
Her stomach growled. She needed some food. So she strolled to the Mermaid Lagoon dragging all the Indian gold in a overturned teepee. She poured some arsenic into the water and one by one the mermaids floated docilely on the water surface. Soon Josephine had a tasty fillet roasting on a spit and many mermaids drying out in the sun.
When she had her fill, she hitched a ride in a floating nest all the way to the Jolly Roger. Captain Hook had already heard of her godly powers and he invited her on board. He gave her a pretty dress to wear and threw a ball in her honour. Josephine was highly flattered. She danced with Captain Hook, who was a divine dancer. She tasted all the expensive Portuguese wines. She ate a ten-course crawfish dinner.
After the ball, she felt homesick. So she annihilated all the pirates using her AK-47. A few handy hand grenades cleared up the hard-to-kill ones. Captain Hook's hook lay two feet from his decapitated body. Josephine picked it up and tossed it into the overturned teepee.
She then found all the loot Hook had been obtaining without permission. The glittery gold and jewels excited her terribly, so she tossed all of them into her teepee. Then she surveyed the damage. Not a single living thing survived, other than the croc. She set fire to the jungle and the Jolly Roger. Then, sitting upon her loot, she squeezed some of the talking fairy's blood upon her and thought her happy thoughts.
She flew home, a happier person. She was now the richest kid in the world. She need not feel bored any more, and Peter Pan would never break little girls' hearts ever again.
Meanwhile Neverland is a crocodile breeding area now.
Fiver years later, she was rewarded. A flash of light entered her room. She caught it and held it in her hand. It's the talking fairy!
"Hello Josephine!"
"Hello Talking Fairy!"
"Want to go to Neverland?"
"Oh YEAH!"
So the talking fairy dumped some fairy dust on her and Josephine remembered the times when she poisoned the pigeons in the park and before she knew it, she was flying!
"Oh no!" she moaned. "I'm wearing a nightgown, everyone can see my panties!!"
The talking fairy rolled her eyes and grabs Josephine by the hair and pulled her all the way to Neverland. JOsephine could see the city below her. She slammed into five aeroplanes. She even eavesdropped on a phone sex conversation going on via a satellite.
"There's Neverland!" the talking fairy cried after an excruciating long flight. Josephine saw the fantasy island and hit the accelerator, only to realize she was levitating, not driving a car.
A boy in green leaves and a loincloth flew up and greeted her. "I'm Peter Pan!"
Josephine rolled her eyes, took out her AK-47 and shot him 26 times. His body fell into the open jaws of the croc. The talking fairy was aghast. But before she could alarm the other fairies or lost boys, Josephine grabbed her and snapped her in two!
Josephine flew to the place where all the Lost Boys lived. They were hunting bears, so Josephine shot all the Lost Boys and all the bears. She even ate their supper and slept in their beds.
When she woke up, she saw seven dwarves around her. She promptly shot them all and stole their clothes. Then she went to the Indian camp and traded the seven dwarves outfits for twenty pieces of gold. When Tiger Lily handed the money over, Josephine stuck a .38 into her mouth and blasted Tiger Lily's brains out. She then proceeded to wipe out all the Indians and she raided their camp.
Her stomach growled. She needed some food. So she strolled to the Mermaid Lagoon dragging all the Indian gold in a overturned teepee. She poured some arsenic into the water and one by one the mermaids floated docilely on the water surface. Soon Josephine had a tasty fillet roasting on a spit and many mermaids drying out in the sun.
When she had her fill, she hitched a ride in a floating nest all the way to the Jolly Roger. Captain Hook had already heard of her godly powers and he invited her on board. He gave her a pretty dress to wear and threw a ball in her honour. Josephine was highly flattered. She danced with Captain Hook, who was a divine dancer. She tasted all the expensive Portuguese wines. She ate a ten-course crawfish dinner.
After the ball, she felt homesick. So she annihilated all the pirates using her AK-47. A few handy hand grenades cleared up the hard-to-kill ones. Captain Hook's hook lay two feet from his decapitated body. Josephine picked it up and tossed it into the overturned teepee.
She then found all the loot Hook had been obtaining without permission. The glittery gold and jewels excited her terribly, so she tossed all of them into her teepee. Then she surveyed the damage. Not a single living thing survived, other than the croc. She set fire to the jungle and the Jolly Roger. Then, sitting upon her loot, she squeezed some of the talking fairy's blood upon her and thought her happy thoughts.
She flew home, a happier person. She was now the richest kid in the world. She need not feel bored any more, and Peter Pan would never break little girls' hearts ever again.
Meanwhile Neverland is a crocodile breeding area now.