Kouta
by 'Goji' Rob Morris
(To the tune of 'Jesse' by Carly Simon)
Oh mother, pray at shrines for me
Kouta's back in town, it won't be easy
Don't let him forget me
Don't let him see through me
Don't let me hit him
Kouta, I won't play carving games with you
Kouta, I won't clean Nyu's pee for you
Kouta, I won't adopt Mayu with you
I won't rage and thunder
And be a tsundere for you
Nozomi, keep reminding me
That traumatic amnesia is not an excuse
Nana, tell me once again
How he was mean to you when you attacked the house
Kouta, I won't be assaulted by Nyu with you
Kouta, I won't house an ageless pup with you
Kouta, I won't turn back a home invasion with you
I won't let Nyu grope
And pretend we don't see Lucy
Kouta, duck in this shrine
Don't mind my leg
It has a mind of its own
Kouta, that you're mine by default
The fans will all say "She's so horrible'
But how can anyone know me just by the anime
That I probably want Nyu as well-because that's how manga rolls - Oh Kouta!
Kouta, I'll always bring in more girls for you
Kouta, I'll always make mediocre food for you
Kouta, I'll probably have a daughter with you
And rebuild the house
And visit the hospital for you
Kouta, let's open the sake
And drink to the girl
Who only wanted love
Family, let's remember her
She did bad things but
She wasn't bad
Nyu, I'll take care of him like you said
Lucy, I'll always tell them that were friends
Kaede, I'm gonna watch those twins like a hawk
Carly Simon, I'm gonna send a check to you…