Ladder 6: We Will Never Forget
Bella's POV
"Bella. Bella, I'm leaving for work." His voice was a gentle whisper, and my eyelids fluttered open. His green eyes were inches away from my own brown ones, looking right into them as if he were searching for the words he wanted to hear.
After what had to be at least ten seconds, I nodded and turned my head—but I didn't go back to sleep. I just had to look away. He woke me up every morning before he left and we'd exchange our usual words: "I love you, I'll see you later." And of course, there was always a good-bye kiss. But today I just couldn't bring myself to say a single word to him. I felt his presence there for a little while longer before he stood upright again and began to walk out of our bedroom.
"I love you, Bella," I heard him say in a voice barely above a whisper before he shut the door behind him so I could go back to sleep.
Once he was gone, I looked at the clock. Seven o'clock in the morning and there was absolutely no way I was going back to sleep. I pulled the covers off my body, letting the slight chill of a September morning gain access to the bare skin that my camisole offered. With the thoughts of the night before playing in my head, I stepped into a hot shower and tried to let the water massage away at least a bit of my tension. For a good long while I couldn't tell the difference between the hot tears pouring down my cheeks or the equally heated water pouring from the shower head.
Eventually I stepped out did the rest of what I needed to do to be ready for the day. My job as an author didn't necessitate going to an office on a daily basis, but I did want to go out this morning. I dressed in a pair of worn, light-colored denim jeans and my Brigham Young hoodie that I'd had since my days as a student there. I grabbed my cell phone from the dresser and shoved it in my pocket after glancing at the clock on it: eight o'clock—had I really spent so long in the shower? I also grabbed the small wallet holding just my driver's license and an emergency credit card. I left our apartment in Greenwich Village and got in my car to take the two-minute drive to Alice and Jasper's home in the West Village.
When I got to their house, pulling into Jasper's spot in the driveway, I just went right inside without knocking. "Alice?" I called, shutting the front door behind me.
She came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "Hey, Bella, how about some pancakes and bacon?" she smiled, her grin turning slowly into a frown as she saw my attire. Then her eyes hit my face, tear-stained from the tears I'd shed on the way over here, and her frown grew but turned from disappointment to concern.
Before she could say anything, I stopped her. "I'm fine, Alice, they're fresh tears and I'll explain everything to you. It's not a huge deal; I'm just sort of shaken. And pancakes sound amazing," I tried to smile.
She nodded and put her hand on my upper back, leading me to the kitchen.
"Auntie Bellie!" a high-pitched voice called.
"Lena!" I grinned back, returning her huge beam. I lifted her from the barstool pushed toward the island in the kitchen to give her a big hug. My goddaughter was four years old and the absolute most precious little girl I'd ever seen in my life. I set her back down so she could finish her breakfast and sat next to her as Alice set a plate in front of me.
My visits for breakfast were frequent, so I knew that Alice turning on the news was a regular occurrence. Another convenience store robbery, some scandal with a rich guy who lived on the Upper East side…same old, same old.
Fifteen minutes later, both my plate and Lena's was clean. "Is Chace at school already?" I asked Alice, holding the coffee cup between my hands as Lena skitted off to the living room to color and watch cartoons.
"Jasper took him to run errands before he dropped him off," she explained as she grabbed her own cup of coffee and sat across from me. "Now, why don't you tell me what happened that has you so shaken?"
Eight forty, the clock on the stove blinked as I sighed and shook my head. "Edward and I had a stupid fight."
Alice put her coffee down and looked intently at me. "You and Edward? Fight? Those are three words I never thought I'd hear in the same sentence."
I shook my head and swallowed. "I couldn't even say goodbye to him this morning, Alice. With his job and everything, and the risk it involves, I never go a morning without kissing him and telling him I love him. I just couldn't do it today, and he left."
"Call him at the firehouse," she suggested, sipping her coffee slowly.
I bit my lip and nodded, pulling my phone from my pocket. 8:44, the clock on the front read, and there was no answer when I dialed his cell phone number. I left him a voicemail. "Edward," I said quietly. "I want to talk to you. See if you can find a way to come home for lunch today." Not managing another word more than that, I shut the phone and put it back in my pocket, sitting quietly at the island, staring at my coffee.
Alice reached forward and put her hand on my wrist. "It'll be alright, Bella," she smiled. "You don't have to tell me yet what happened, but this is you and Edward we're talking about here."
"I know you're right, Alice," I nodded a couple of times. "I know that."
There was complete silence except for the noise of the small television on the counter as neither Alice nor I spoke a word. "The time is eight fifty on September 11, 2001 and we've just gotten word that there has been an explosion in the North Trade Tower. It hasn't been confirmed yet what caused the explosion, but the North Tower is in flames. Whether it was a bomb or some sort of plane has yet to be determined." There was a pause before the newswoman continued, and Alice and I had our full attention on the screen now as Alice leaned forward to turn up the volume.
I gasped when they showed a picture of the disaster that was happening just a few miles from where we sat. Then my heart stopped. The thought crossed my mind in exactly three horrifying words. Explosion. Fire. Firefighters.
The newswoman continued, nodding at something someone was telling her from behind the camera. "The New York Fire and Police departments are on their way, and it appears that the station in Chinatown is so far the first to respond, including Ladder Company Six." The woman named off other stations that had been reported as being on the scene, but I heard none of it. I gripped the edge of the counter on the island and I felt Alice's arms around me. She must have moved beside me at some point.
Our fight was flashing through my mind, and I had never hated myself more than I did at that moment, for letting something so stupid keep me from our daily goodbye session as I lay in bed and he crouched over me—the same every day.
"Bella," Edward sighed, running his hand through his hair as we talked about starting a family for probably the millionth time in the last few months. All the other times, however, we'd just discussed cute things we would do if we had a baby. But now it was a real conversation about whether I should go off birth control so we could start trying. "You know I want a baby more than anything."
"What's the problem then, Edward?" I asked, sitting on the sofa across from the chair he was in. "We have the money and the space for a baby. We have that extra room."
"I know we have all that, Bella," he said, then looked up in my eyes. "But you haven't been writing, and you haven't brought in any solid money in at least a year. The profit from the two books you have so far is going to keep decreasing and soon we're not going to be pulling anything in from your end."
"But we're fine for now, and I'll start writing," I protested. "You make enough, too."
"I know that, but every time I come home you're not working, and you tell me you 'just don't have the inspiration'. When's the inspiration going to come, Bella? We can't keep living hoping that one day you'll just have a dream that will send you into a multi-million dollar idea for a series about vampires or something."
"You can't force creativity, Edward. As a musician you should know that. Remember what it was like in your music theory classes in college when you were forced to write a composition? Nothing came to you, but you'd sit down at the piano on your own and come up with the most brilliant pieces I've ever heard in literally my whole life…and that includes Debussy and Mozart."
"I do understand that. But I don't understand why you can't get off your butt and look for a real job in the meantime. If you come up with an idea and need to quit that job to write, that's perfectly fine. But for now, there's nothing." He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling my glare without seeing my face.
"Get off my butt?" I repeated. "I'm sorry you come home to a spotless house and having a meal waiting for you. Your job is hard and risky…I get that, Edward. But I know I'll be able to start writing soon."
"I understand that. You'll get an idea, I'm sure you will. But until then, get a God damned job as a secretary or something." His voice was raising now, something he never did in front of me, ever. Voice raising and cursing wasn't in his list of every-day activities toward me. "I can't make the money to keep this apartment and support you and the baby all by myself. I need some help here, Bella. Work at Target for all I care and make minimum wage. It's still something."
"Alice doesn't work," I pointed out, crossing my arms.
"Jasper's a partner in a law firm, Bella. He doesn't work for the fucking city like I do." I knew Edward was incredibly proud of his work as a firefighter, but sometimes I know he wished he could rake in the dough that Jasper did, or his father the doctor.
I felt my eyes tearing up. "My book is still on the New York Times bestseller list, Edward, and people are still buying it. I'm making plenty of money."
"What don't you understand about the fact that that will stop eventually, Bella? Babies are expensive! They're not all fun and games. If you want one so badly you're going to have to contribute."
I stood from the couch and started toward our bedroom. But I turned around and looked at him. "If I want one so badly? Right, Edward. I'm the only one who wants a little baby to play with and cuddle. Well, fuck me for wanting to start a family with the man I love."
He tried to say more, little words that sounded like apologies and saying that I didn't understand his meaning. But I didn't hear them as I slammed the door.
"Bella," Alice whispered, pointing to the screen. I hadn't even notice Jasper come in, but he was standing next to her, staring at the television screen. I looked at the screen too and noticed that the second tower had been hit as well. "It was commercial airlines," she informed me, aware that I'd been in a daze; her voice was thick with tears.
I wrapped an arm around her, and Jasper extended the arm around her shoulders to the other side of my head as well. "What do you think Edward's doing?" he asked after a moment of all of us looking at the screen.
I let out a small, involuntary whimper and Jasper cursed softly. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said quietly.
"I know, Jazz," I sighed. Jasper was Edward's brother, and I knew this had to be scaring him, too.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out, glancing at the caller I.D. "Esme," I breathed into it, tears bubbling to my eyes. "No, I don't know," I choked out.
"I'm assuming it's safe to say you haven't talked to him this morning." Oh, little did she know.
"No, I haven't," I answered simply.
"Carlisle and I are on our way to Alice and Jasper's house, can you meet us there?"
"I'm already there," I told her, barely able to speak, simply hanging up. I knew Esme would understand without a doubt.
The clock in the corner of the television told us it was 9:55. Not being able to stand it anymore, I called the station just as Carlisle and Esme entered the kitchen. Marcus answered. Good.
"Marcus, it's Bella," I choked. "Do we know where they are?"
"Last word we got was they were in the North Tower, on their way up to the eightieth floor to try to put out the fire," he explained, in a voice like he was trying to be compassionate with me but listen to something else at the same time.
"Oh shit!" Jasper gasped, hugging Alice to him while she reached out for my arm as Esme gripped my shoulders. The live feed on the television showed the South Tower collapsing as the clock on the screen read: 9:59. I let out a small scream and swear I felt my heart stop just as Marcus breathed, "Oh my God," and the line was disconnected.
Tears were falling freely down my cheeks as I covered my face with my hands, dropping my phone in the process, the pieces smashing around the kitchen floor.
I made Alice and Esme jump a bit when I sat up suddenly. "I can't fucking sit here. I have to be closer."
"Bella, you can't, no one's going to let you anywhere near--," I cut her off.
"The last thing I said to him, Alice, was, 'Well fuck me for wanting to start a family with the man I love'." My eyes darted between Alice and Jasper, both of whom were looking at me with the most serious expressions on their faces (and I was sure Carlisle and Esme were as well), just letting me speak for fear of what I would do if they stopped me. "I ignored him when he wanted to kiss me goodbye this morning." I was starting to get hysterical, trying to catch my breath as the tears formed a near waterfall down my cheeks. "If something happens to him because I couldn't manage to kiss my husband before he went off to one of the most dangerous jobs that exist, I will literally never forgive myself."
"We'll stay with the kids," Esme offered with a straight voice. "Why don't the three of you go see what you can do?"
I took quick, deep breaths, trying to calm even a little bit. "Thank you, Esme," I whispered as she wrapped her arms around me, kissing my cheek. That was when I noticed for the first time that her cheeks were soaked as well. I hugged her in return, holding on tightly to the most wonderful mother-in-law any wife could ever dream up.
"This is Edward we're talking about, Bella, he's a fighter," she whispered in my ear as I nodded, unable to speak once again.
Alice kissed the tops of her children's heads and told them we'd be back soon, that we were going to visit Uncle Edward at work. They waved, their eyes never leaving the cartoon on the television.
We were able to drive as close as ten blocks from the scene, where Jasper parked the car haphazardly and locked it behind us as we bolted from the car. We ran literally the entire way, and I hadn't felt so energized in my entire life. The adrenaline and the will to get to my Edward was the most empowering thrill running through my body as my feet leapt over the dust, debris, and papers. Eventually, I had to cover my face with my sleeve, the dust was getting so thick.
Alice, Jasper and I finally reached the scene of the fire trucks and ambulances. It was utter chaos, and we hoped to sneak by, but a police officer managed to get an arm in front of me. "You can't go this way, ma'am. You have to evacuate the area immediately."
Tears ran through the dust covering my face and I pleaded desperately with him, my voice not even sounding familiar to my own ears. "My husband is a firefighter, Officer. He's with Ladder six from Chinatown, NYFD."
A look of recognition crossed his face. "They were the first ones on the scene," he told me.
I nodded and he continued. "They're the only ones who haven't emerged from the building, and they were some of the first ones into the North Tower."
I clutched my chest and he looked sympathetic. Our semi-conversation was cut off by screams all around us. I felt arms around me, and I hadn't even realized I'd nearly collapsed when the North Tower fell in. I felt Jasper's arms holding me up and an absolutely ear-piercing scream from somewhere directly near me. It was minutes, and my vocal chords were aching before I realized it was coming from my own throat. "Edward," I was screaming at the top of my lungs, along with various un-recognizable words.
I felt my knees touch the ground but the arms never left me and I understood that Jasper was letting me down onto the ground, but he and Alice weren't going anywhere. The dust was coming at us quickly, though, and Jasper whipped me up from the ground and grabbed Alice's arm, pulling us into a nearby shop until the major cloud passed at least.
My screaming never stopped.
I couldn't tell if it was five minutes or five hours later, but someone said, "Can't you shut her up? We're all upset here."
My screams turned to throaty cries as Jasper buried my face in his chest and I felt his chest move as he explained that my husband was a firefighter trapped in the building that had just collapsed.
"She witnessed the entire thing?" the person asked, shocked, and probably slightly embarrassed that they'd chastised me just moments ago.
Jasper must have merely nodded because I didn't hear his voice. "The poor doll," an older woman whispered, and I felt her unfamiliar hand on my forearm.
Someone asked something I couldn't hear and he answered, "No, it's my brother. She's my sister-in-law."
There were a few gasps, and I felt thumps and figured they must have been patting Jasper on the back as I felt Alice rubbing slow circles on mine.
Probably a couple of hours later at the least, I finally looked up from Jasper's chest. A few people were still looking at me. Who I assumed to be the same elderly woman who said I was a "poor doll" smiled kindly at me and she said, "I've been praying for you husband, dear."
I felt my lips twitch, their best attempt at a grateful smile. "Thank you, ma'am," I told her.
I turned to glance at Alice who was looking down at the ground, probably praying as well. But when I turned back to the lady to ask if she had anyone trapped in there, too, she was gone. I furrowed my brow and stood on my toes to look for her, but she was nowhere in the small shop. I sighed and as I turned back around, Jasper spoke for the first time in hours.
"I think we can go back out," he said quietly, and Alice and I nodded.
We headed back out onto the chaotic street and tried to fight our way back to the fire trucks again. "What time is it?" I asked Jasper, grabbing his wrist to try to look at his watch.
"One in the afternoon," he told me just as I read it for myself. The North Tower must have collapsed at ten thirty, I figured, or around there. We'd been in there for two and a half hours.
"Bella!" I heard from several feet away. I searched around for a moment before seeing Edward's chief, Emmett McCarty. I ran to him and hugged him tightly.
"Where are they?" I asked desperately, surprised at the scratchiness of my throat. But if it hurt to talk, I didn't know or care.
"They're still in there," he answered gently. "We've been trying to reach them but they turned off their radios. They're probably preparing incase they need it at some point in the future and they need the battery to be full."
I gulped and nodded.
"No news is good news, Bella," he said, squeezing my shoulder with one arm in his bear-hug sort of way.
Edward's POV
I'd gone into work today with zero enthusiasm, worried that Bella still wouldn't feel like speaking to me when I got home that night. Fighting simply wasn't our style; we were always the couple that people ached to be like. We were pretty flawless, and not just from the outside. The kind of love we shared was once in a century. Not just for us, but we sometimes joked that we were the Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy of the new millennium.
Of course, the incredibly awful disaster going on just a couple miles from our station put my thoughts only temporarily on hold. But now, as I sat with my brothers in this skinny stairwell, my thoughts were completely on Bella. I should have insisted on working things out before I left this morning, or even before we went to bed last night. But she was sleeping and looked so peaceful when I walked into our room that I let it go. And when she gave me the cold shoulder this morning, I'd counted on surprising her with flowers and dinner from her favorite restaurant when I got home.
The thing haunting me the most was that it was my fault: I was the ass, and I screwed up. How could I use those words while speaking to my beautiful Bella? It made me sick to my stomach…or was that the disgusting debris clogging my lungs?
I gazed a few steps down at Elizabeth Masen, the woman we were trying to save that had gotten us trapped here in the first place. When we entered the North Tower, we had every intention of somehow fighting and struggling our way to the eightieth floor to put out a fire with no worries of the building collapsing on top of us. The hundred and ten pounds on our back was slowing us down, but not deterring our determination whatsoever. We were walking in a single file line up the left side of the two-person-width stairwell B and the entire way, people were patting our backs, saying things like, "God bless you, firefighter. God bless you, God bless you." Some spectacular people, while in a fight for their lives, took the time to break into vending machines and thrust bottles of water our way. It quite literally brought a tear to my eye. The way human kind came together in a tragedy was absolutely beyond anyone's possible imagination.
However, when we made it to the twenty-seventh floor, someone was shouting that the North Tower collapsed next to us. The captain made the decision to turn us around. "Time to go." We were turning around to go back down the other way when I noticed an elderly woman who was struggling with every step as more less-weary people passed her.
"Let me help you, ma'am," I told her, putting an arm around her and starting to help her down the stairs, supporting her weight. It was immensely difficult for me, but I was managing. I caught the eye of some of my brothers and they nodded at me, telling me I had their support if I needed any help, and they wouldn't leave me.
"What's your name, love?" I asked her.
"Elizabeth Masen," she answered weakly. "I've come all the way from the seventy-third floor," she wheezed.
"I'm Edward, Elizabeth, and I'm going to get you out of here today. You're in good hands."
"Thank you, doll."
I saw her smile up at me as we made our way down the stairs. She was so incredibly exhausted that she slowed us down an incredible amount. We kept pausing frequently, and by the time we reached the fourth floor she declared she couldn't go on and she stopped completely. I exchanged a frenzied glance with my brothers but we knew there was no way in hell we were leaving her here, so we all stopped. Just then, I was separated from Elizabeth as a huge gust of wind blast through the door on the fourth floor landing, blowing the door off the hinges and causing a few beams to fall in the stair way. It was complete darkness for a few minutes in which we had no idea if we were alive or dead, but when it cleared we heard Elizabeth's weak cry for help and knew there was no way someone could sound that pained in death. Together, we lifted the beams off of her, and someone gave her a jacket to wrap around herself.
Now, there was absolutely nowhere to go. We were blocked on the top and the bottom with only our cell of space that the sill-standing stairway provided. We knew we were still four stories up, hundreds of yards. "There must be over a hundred floors above us," James said to us.
"We don't need to hear that, James," I told him patiently, and he just looked down. I knew his wife, Victoria, was probably on his mind as much as Bella was on mine, and we both just wanted to either die quickly or make it out of here alive.
We hadn't the slightest idea how many hours had passed, but there was a shift above us, and part of my subconscious braced me for a huge, suffocating collapse. But it never came. Instead, there was a sliver of light that hadn't appeared before, and it was shining directly down on Elizabeth. I knew in that moment she was our guardian angel.
"Look at that," I pointed up to it, and I heard a couple of my brothers shift, and then James was next to me, helping me move rubble away.
It was quite literally a breath of fresh air. There weren't a hundred floors above us, but some miracle had caused the entire, enormous skyscraper to fall around our measly stairwell B. After some shifting around, we had enough room to climb out, and as a group, we pulled Elizabeth out behind us. No one could see us, and we couldn't see them. We looked around and realized the only way out was crossing over at least four hundred yards of rubble. We had no idea how sturdy any of it was, but we had to try. About three guys were helping to carry Elizabeth behind me, as James and I tried out the path in front of the group.
I looked down when we reached a pit, and remembered for the first time since we left the rubble that we were still four stories up from the ground, and that entire distance was below us with only a twelve-inch beam functioning as a bridge. But desperation propelled us, and we made it across that entire distance alive, somehow. Other firefighters reached us and one of them shouted, "You're the guys!"
I nodded, turning away to find a stretcher to put Elizabeth. A couple of paramedics had already beat me to it and had her loaded onto it.
Then I heard a piercing scream that sounded a lot like my name.
Bella's POV
Emmett turned around and began talking to a policeman, leaving Alice and Jasper to surround me on both sides, suffocating me in the most welcoming way possible.
For at least an hour my eyes were glued to the spot where the North Tower had once been. After staring at it for so long and seeing no new movement except for the people who were already searching, I finally saw paramedics pulling a stretcher from the ambulance and I knew they had found someone. Figures emerged from the dust that separated the rubble from the pavement of the street in front of the site.
To my right I heard Emmett's radio crackle to life and a voice said, "Chief, are you listening? Over."
My heart started pounding, wanting to leap right through my ribcage and out of my chest and I saw Emmett's eyes widen. "This is the chief, over," he said into his radio.
"We're out, Chief, every one of us." I knew the voice. It was James Nomax, one of Edward's brothers.
Automatically, my eyes searched the new figures harder. They were all covered in black suit, so it was hard to tell, but this was Edward. I'd know him anywhere: the way he walked, the shape of his body.
"Edward!" I screamed with the last ounce of strength in my vocal chords as I ran toward him, pushing Alice and Jasper aside. I felt the fresh tears, tears of relief, stream from over my lower lids as I saw the figure I had my eyes on turn when I screamed his name. The dark, dirty figure started running in my direction and I wanted to collapse with relief, but I had to keep moving, I had to keep my legs running toward my world.
After what seemed like eternity, our bodies collided and he lifted me up despite lacking a single ounce of strength, I was sure. My legs and arms wrapped around him and my lips immediately went to his without a second thought to the dirt and grime covering his face. My tongue immediately searched for his and they found each other between our lips, pouring every fear, every scream, every ounce of relief we'd both felt throughout the day into that one kiss. I felt wetness on his face that I knew wasn't my own, and our tears mixed with each other.
Who knows how long it was before we finally pulled our lips apart, but when we did I rested my forehead against his and looked into his piercing green eyes that I'd resented just that morning. "I'm so sorry, Edward," I cried, kissing every inch of his face. "I love you so much. I love you, I love you, oh my God I love you so much." My voice was thick with tears that he wiped away with his free hand that wasn't supporting me.
"I love you, too, my Bella. No apologies. It was stupid, and it's over. And it'll never happen again. I love you more than anyone else could possibly hope to understand."
I smiled at him and kissed him again before he put me down. I looked over at the woman that the stretcher was for and my breath caught in my throat. Edward saw where I was looking and he smiled. "Elizabeth Masen. The woman we were helping downstairs, and the reason we're alive."
I looked at him confused. "How could she have been in there with you?"
"What?" he asked, as he pulled me close to him. But I grabbed his hand and started walking toward her.
"Elizabeth?" he said before I could say anything. "This is my wife, Bella."
The woman looked up and smiled. "I know. Glad to see you both smiling, dolls," she said wistfully as the paramedics loaded her into the back of the ambulance.
"I think she's our guardian angel, Edward, not just yours," I said in awe as I leaned against him, burying my face in his chest.
Author's Note: This story was based on real events and the courageous men of Ladder Company 6, based in Chinatown, part of the NYFD. God rest all the souls of those who died on this day eight years ago. Thanks to my Leenie for helping me with my questions and giving me her opinion. If you all want to hear a wonderful piece written in memory of this tragedy, type in "Hymn for the Lost and the Living" on Youtube. The first result is my wind symphony at UW-Green Bay, but it's talked over a bit, so you can also try another result.
Disclaimer: The brilliant Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, and once again, this was based off of real events.
If I get enough requests, I will change this story to M rating and add a sort of fluffy lemon chapter!
9-11-2009