All these years I've walked the dark with pride
fearless and unbowed in my crusade
Intent to build a name that will endure
long aft' the echoes of my footsteps fade
..
A name carefully chosen for myself
declaring me for all who care to hear
a creature who by nights forbearing cloak
a clever soul would have the sense to fear
..
As time proceeds my reputation grows
the rumours and the facts blend into one
until such point ev'n I cannot recall
which dreadful deeds I have or have not done
..
And yet from time to time I find my mind
between one act of evil and another
drifting inexplicably towards
the still enduring memory of my mother
..
Not the wicked creature she became
for barely a few hours that last night
when poor devoted son I had remained
In error tried to free her from her plight
..
My thoughts turn to the woman who in sickness
continued to adore me all the same
the woman who before I forged a new one
bestowed upon me, my first earthly name
..
A name I carried proudly and with reverence
my gift supplied by she who loved me best
Until the day that spiteful fools destroyed it
twisting it in mockery and jest
..
I swallowed down my anger and resentment
the feelings in me, their unkindness stirred
not just due to insult to my writing
but that to mock my name was to mock her
..
When choosing my new title I once wondered
what prompted me to leave the old behind?
A tactic to advance my reputation?
or desperate bid to cut the ties that bind?
..
So long as l walked 'neath the name she gave me
I never would be free from mothers ghost
An ingrained wish to be all that she wanted
to please her still, the one who loved me most
..
And even here in death where I am monstrous
I knew that if I didn't break away
my mind would never cease its restless musings
on what that kindly soul I loved would say
..
Although, no longer, do I feel remorse
for those who scream and perish by my hand
I wonder if she were to see me now
would my dear sainted mother understand?
..
I know that she would not, nor could she ever
that woman for whom, even when I died
my hopeless sense of childish devotion
impelled me still to keep her by my side
..
My efforts failed and proved to be unhappy
denying me the mother I had loved
I said goodbye to dust upon the carpet
and hope somehow her soul found peace above
..
In order to move on with my unlife
I traded in my first self for another
Spike is who I am and shall remain
William I laid to rest with mother