Hey guys, this is a new story, obviously, and I hope you enjoy! I do not own any of these characters. Trigger warning, self harm plays a big role in this story,if that is a trigger for you please do not read.
Kurt looked at himself in the mirror. He was relieved that he could pull off long sleeves at any time of the year. His wrist burned under his favourite Armani jacket and he hoped the bandage would stop blood from getting on it. As much as he tried to stop the habit, he just couldn't break it. He was doing so well this past year, he joined the glee club, made friends, got to preform and had officially accepted himself and his orientation. He hadn't indulged in months, and the fact that some pea-brained football player broke him made Kurt dig the knife that much deeper.
Last night was bad. Kurt knew that the scars would take over a week to fade to the point some foundation would blend them in. As much as he hated to admit it, it did make him feel better. The sharp pain of the blade, the sight of blood, his blood, pooling and dripping, made Kurt feel more relaxed than he had in a long time. At least winter was coming, that would make things, like long sleeves, easier to explain away. Besides with how invisible Kurt was feeling he didn't think anyone would care enough to notice anyway.
"Kurt," Burt called from the top of the stairs, "you're going to be late".
"Coming." Kurt gave one last tug of his sleeve, wincing at the slight touch of the fabric, and walked upstairs. Burt was sitting in the kitchen sipping his coffee and flipping through tv channels. "Dad, you know the doctor said no more caffeine…" Kurt took the cup from his dads' hands and put it in the sink.
"Kurt, I've been drinking coffee for over twenty years, and the doctor said less caffeine, not no caffeine." Burt got up and poured himself a new cup. "Do you have Glee today?"
"Yeah, I won't be home till about five. I'm going to help Rachael with yet another one of her solos."
Burt chuckled "You'd think eventually even she would get sick of her own voice. Well, have fun kid." Kurt hugged his dad and headed out. He had finally convinced Burt to give him his car back, after the whole broken windshield incident, with a lot of begging and promising not to get into any more trouble. Kurt started the car and drove the short distance to McKinley, grabbed the first spot he could and just parked.
Being normal was harder than he thought. He couldn't bear the thought of his dad finding out about last night, or the other scars scattered across his body. The past few weeks of smiling and taking care of his dad was beginning to take a toll on Kurt that he hadn't realized until last night. He felt awful for it, but he just felt done. He was done with school, and glee, and home, he was simply done...
Kurt shook his head, he knew that wasn't fair. He loved his father, more than anything. Burt was the best father in the world, understanding, patient, kind. What father in Ohio accepts his gay son without so much as a word against it. He loved Glee as well. Glee club was his first real friend base, and it felt just as much like a home as his actual home. School was the reason; he couldn't face another day of terror like the last few.
He stared at the dashboard, he couldn't get up the courage to just open the door and get out. He was terrified. What if he was waiting for him, what if one of the Glee kids saw, what if Kurt felt the urge again, what if he let everyone down? Kurt felt tears begin to sting at his eyes and he tried to hold them back. He had come so far this past year, and he could feel himself going back to who he was: the depressed, cutting, in the closet gay kid who was so alone and pushed everyone away. He couldn't let himself go back to that, if it wasn't for Glee being created at just the right moment last year Kurt didn't think he would even be here. He could hear Rachael's voice telling him "being a part of something special makes you special", but for the first time he wasn't sure special was a good thing.
Hey guys, me again. I hope you enjoyed thus far. Please review! There will be more to come I promise.