A/N: okay so i wrote this before beauty is terror, but it didn't cross my mind to post this here until now, so forgive because my writing activity has been pretty slow going, so have this, a good ol' childhood friends au. can be read as blooming romance if you so desire. i myself am a big fan of 8027 and headcanon yamamoto as really gay, so i don't care how you interpret this.

Fall

things are changing and it's hard to keep

"Takeshi, are you awake?"

He stirs and opens his eyes. They're both awake despite the late hour, nowhere near close to falling asleep. Tsuna looks at him with tired eyes and wraps his arms tighter around the pillow he has in his grasp. He looks close to crying, something that Takeshi probably should comment on but doesn't.

"I'm sorry, about all this." Tsuna's voice is whisper soft around the apology; voice slightly muffled because his mouth his half covered by pillow.

Takeshi, well, he decides to play like he doesn't know why he's getting an apology this late at night. It's for Tsuna's sake really, because he's not too good at voicing himself when it comes to apologies, never has been. Over the years Takeshi has gotten many that he couldn't quite understand the meaning behind, no matter how much he tried to wrap his head around them.

(He had asked his dad about it once, out of concern that he was doing something wrong in their friendship because, contrary to popular belief, Takeshi is actually bad at the whole making friends thing. His dad is old so he would definitely have some idea, maybe. The old man had told him that some people tend to apologize for a lot of things that aren't really their fault, because their brain tells them that it is. Takeshi just has to reassure Tsuna that it's just the opposite, not everything that goes wrong is his fault.

Takeshi had later learned, from his doctor who was telling him things about mental health and sports, that it's called anxiety. He doesn't really know if Tsuna has it though, last time he asked he just got a shrug and a maybe which he took as a more than likely. Neither of them are experts on the matter, but they have each other and that counts for a lot.)

"What for?"

He turns completely on side so talking Tsuna is easier. His bed is bigger to make up for his height, so at least he doesn't have to worry about falling off like he does when he's over at Tsuna's house. He likes Tsuna's bed regardless of its small size though.

Tsuna lets out a breath that's shuttering and long and buries his face completely into the pillow. Takeshi wonders if he really will cry at this rate, because he always hides when he feels like he's getting too emotional about something. He's seen Tsuna cry for loads of reason by now, so he really doesn't care at this point, but he doesn't say that either.

"Is this about the mafia game?" Takeshi questions instead because they won't get anywhere at this rate.

He doesn't miss how Tsuna flinches either because the guess (not a guess really because it was so obvious) was right or because Takeshi still insists on calling it a game. Really, he only does because he takes all his games seriously and how else is he supposed to cope with all of Tsuna's odd new developments? He knows this isn't a game, knew from pretty much the start, but it's easier for him to pretend, especially now.

"Yeah." Tsuna final breathes out and Takeshi has to strain a little to hear him. "I...I didn't want to bring any of you guys into this in the first place but dad and Reborn didn't listen. You guys could have -"

He lets out another shuttering breath and Takeshi knows exactly what he was going to say.

They all could have died because some people all the way back in Italy thought it was a good idea to pit barely trained kids against an elite assassin squad. (Mainly Tsuna's dad if he has the basics of things right and Takeshi finally understands why Tsuna doesn't really like the man all too much, constant absence aside.)

Takeshi can feel the itch of bandages that might need changing in the morning and he wonders if he'll have scars once they all heal. Gokudera will definitely have them because he seems prone to getting them in the first place, came to them burns on his fingers and up his arms and scars on the back of his hands. Tsuna will have them too because he was shot by a gun that apparently used flames instead of bullets (which Takeshi isn't sure is better or worse at this point because this is all kind of ridiculous in a really scary sort of way) and the smell of burning flesh isn't pleasant, something he didn't ever want to learn. Lambo's at least out of critical condition, but he doesn't think this was a good experience to go through at only five. Kid might need someone to talk to at some point when he's older, maybe sooner. Takeshi isn't sure about Ryouhei or Chrome or Hibari, but he hopes they'll be okay regardless.

"Better for us to do this as a team than to have you do this alone right?" Takeshi isn't that good at comforting words or pep talks despite having done baseball for so long, so he takes one of Tsuna's hands in his own and doesn't think about how they're each sporting new callouses from training to fight for their lives.

"Thanks." Tsuna lifts his head finally, gives a smile that's a bit shaky, and tightens the grip on their hands just a little. "I don't want to be mafia boss, Takeshi."

Takeshi knows this already because it's something Tsuna says near daily. It'd be funnier if Takeshi didn't know him so well, but he does. He knows that Tsuna has bad self-esteem and no motivation at times, which causes him to sort of give up on things. This is why he gets picked on so much and why his grades are doing so badly, because he's pass the point of really caring anymore. If there's something that Tsuna is protesting against every day, then it has to be something he really doesn't agree with. Who can blame him, not many people want to suddenly become mafia bosses at thirteen or be told they're becoming one anyway. Tsuna's a boss in training at this point, officially now that they have rings, apparently.

"Okay," Takeshi decides and tries to have as much promise in his voice as he can. "you won't be then."

Tsuna smiles and the night doesn't feel as heavy after that.

Winter

what blooms during this time is the strongest of all

They meet when they're both seven on a winter's day, just before the first snow of the season hits. Takeshi is on his way home from practice when he sees a couple of bigger kids surrounding Tsuna (though he doesn't know who it is at first.)

Takeshi is tall for his age and carries his bat on most days. His teammates tell him he's sort of scary when he comes out of nowhere smiling with a bat slung over his shoulder, like a yakuza kid or something like that. Takeshi thinks they watch too much TV and just shrugs his shoulders.

"Hey what's going on?"

One of the kids turns around so fast that he stumbles and nearly falls. Takeshi does his best not to laugh. They must decide they don't want an audience because one of them stutters out a hasty nothing much and they all run off after that. Weird.

"You okay?"

The kid he apparently helped out is so small and still looks pretty spooked, but he nods his head and Takeshi helps him stand up.

"Th-thank you." Even his voice is soft and small.

"No problem! I didn't even do much. Why were they messing with you anyways?"

The kid just shrugs and looks away like he really doesn't want to answer, so Takeshi decides not to push. Maybe he's just shy about it or really embarrassed, being picked on isn't the coolest thing to have happen to you when you're only seven.

"My name's Yamamoto Takeshi." He says instead because his dad told him to always be polite. Kill them kindness or something like that.

The boy fiddles with the sleeve of his coat before he sighs for some reason and finally faces Takeshi fully. "I'm…Sawada Tsunayoshi, but you can call me Tsuna, if you want."

"Cool! You can call me Takeshi then. Do you live this way?"

Tsuna nods, though it's so brief that Takeshi barely notices. That's fine though because this is the first time he's a seen a kid his age use the same way home as he does. It's a little exciting.

"Mind if I walk with you then?"

The answer doesn't come immediately and Takeshi is worried he's done something wrong already, trying too hard maybe. He almost says sorry before Tsuna just nods, probably too shy to speak. But it's fine though, because Takeshi talks enough for the both of them as they walk together.

Spring

new beginnings and realizations are always good to have

Takeshi learns pretty quickly that Tsuna gets picked on a lot, it's mostly people teasing him and calling him names. Even a few of his teammates do it apparently. This does not make Takeshi very comfortable to see so many people talk badly about his friend.

He lets Tsuna know this one day when they're over his house trying to get through homework.

"It's no big deal." Tsuna has his eyebrows furrowed and tongue sticking out as he erases something for the however many times that was. Math is a hard subject, Takeshi understands.

"But Tsuna, they call you no good."

Which Takeshi doesn't really understand in the end. Yeah Tsuna is clumsy, but some people just are. Takeshi is too, somewhat, he has a tendency to run into things at home and his dad blames his growth spurts. Tsuna isn't that great at sports either, but neither are a lot of people, besides, Tsuna is so small it's no wonder he's afraid of getting hit the ball. And yes, Tsuna isn't all that good at school, but neither is Takeshi but no one picks on him for it.

It's so weird.

"It's true though." Tsuna just shrugs like it doesn't really bother him all that much.

Takeshi expects him to go back to working, but instead he just kind flops backwards and ends up staring at the ceiling. They've only known each other a few months, but Takeshi has learned that this means Tsuna has given up on trying to finish his homework.

"Do you need help?" They can at least try to figure this out together.

Tsuna just raises his hand in the air and waves it back and forth a few times before dropping it back down.

"It's fine. I'll just do it later."

A few years down the road, Takeshi will learn that Tsuna does this a lot. Brush things off when concern himself and act like everything is okay when it really isn't. But until then, he just chalks it up to Tsuna being tired and leaves it at that.

Summer

let boys be; this is how they learn

Takeshi grows up. He grows up in a slow crawling sort of way that makes the days feel longer than they actually. He's not in a hurry to become an adult though, because his dad always complains to him about all the stuff adults have to do and that seems boring. If Takeshi really wanted to grow up, it'd only be because he wants to hurry and play professional baseball, but he doesn't mind playing with the other kids his age.

People his age are kind of funny. Takeshi likes them, he guesses. Well, it's more like tolerates really, because they're either his teammates or people that root for him during games, so it wouldn't be good if he was rude to them.

He doesn't get why they're in middle school now and still pick on Tsuna despite knowing the fact that he and Takeshi are friends. Lots of people have asked him why they hang out together and Takeshi tells them because friends do that sort of stuff, easy as that. They probably think Takeshi is doing it out of pity or that Tsuna is bribing him with something. Tsuna doesn't really do anything though. He's just himself and who he is when he's at school and who he is when they're together are two completely different people. Maybe because he's uncomfortable at school and Takeshi can't blame him for that. The people at school aren't the best.

Takeshi knows people think he's kind of dense and a little airheaded, probably because he smiles so much, but he isn't. Not really. Yeah some things have to be explained to him more than once for him to finally grasp them but, he's never done too well at school. When it comes to people though, Takeshi is very perceptive his dad calls it. It's probably from baseball since you have to be able to read people to help make playing easier and Takeshi has been playing for years.

It's no surprise when he catches onto the real reason the other kids at school talk to him so much. It's because he's good at baseball, no more and no less. They talk about being his friends and maybe they do believe that, but none of them really make an effort to talk to Takeshi outside of school. To be fair, neither does he, but Takeshi has always been sort of bad at the whole friend making process. But really, he knows he's popular on the same level that Sasagawa Kyouko is on, he just has sports added to the mix. If Takeshi wasn't good at baseball, then they wouldn't bother with him. He's sure of that.

It's pretty upsetting to think about actually, that not a lot people want bother to get to really know him.

"Takeshi, you're zoning out again. Are you okay?"

Oh, he has been hasn't he? Tsuna looks a little worried and Takeshi smiles to soften that look on his face. He doesn't mean to worry Tsuna, but he knows he does sometimes. Tsuna worries him too whenever he decides to spend three days in a row at home with no warning, so they're even on that front.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

Takeshi debates telling him the truth, since it's something that's been bothering him for a while now. He doesn't want to seem needy though. He really should be happier with all the positive attention he gets at school even if it's only because he's good at baseball. Tsuna gets attention at school too, but it's always bad, always name calling and being pushed around. No wonder he tries to avoid it whenever he can, how easily he can slip into the background and slip away if Takeshi isn't paying close enough attention.

"School. People at school mostly."

"Oh." Tsuna frowns a little and tone changes, but the look only lasts for a couple of seconds before he's back to neutral. "What about them?"

"Nothing really ." he won't talk about it, rather… "Hey Tsuna, do you like having me around?"

"That's…a little weird to ask, but yeah I do. I'd probably start avoiding you if I didn't like you."

"You do that at school though."

Tsuna doesn't hang out with him at lunch anymore and whenever he tries to talk to him between classes, Tsuna just rushes off to hide somewhere. He comes in late more often than not, so it isn't like Takeshi can talk to him before school and then there's the matter baseball practice which doesn't make hanging out in the afternoon easier.

Tsuna flinches because Takeshi isn't wrong.

"I'm not avoiding you at least not on purpose. I-I'm just avoiding the people that are around you. I know thoughts about me haven't really changed, so I'd rather not be around that voluntarily." He sighs and looks down at his hands. "It's no you, it's me. I'm sorry."

It's a bit like a circle then, because it comes back around to Tsuna's bullies. Takeshi can't blame Tsuna for wanting to avoid that though and he doesn't feel like a very good friend for letting this go on for as many months as it has been.

"I can stop hanging out them then, it's not a big deal."

Tsuna looks shocked, shakes his head so wildly it's a wonder he isn't dizzy afterwards. "No Takeshi, don't let me stop you from making new friends. It's fine."

"But it isn't fine because those people aren't really my friends anyway. They only like me because I'm good at baseball and I actually don't really like that reason. Makes me feel kinda…" he can't really explain it so he just frowns a little and shrugs.

Tsuna's able to get it though. Takeshi always uses sounds and odd gestures when words fail him, so figuring this out isn't a hard task to accomplish.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't care if you're good at baseball. I mean it's cool that you are sure, but I didn't become your friend because of your skills with a bat."

Tsuna says it so casually like it doesn't really matter, but to Takeshi it matters a whole lot. It matters so much that he feels his heart about to burst because he's so happy. All he can really do about it is smile and pull Tsuna into a hug that sends them both falling back onto the bed. He laughs over Tsuna's shocked squeak and ignores the complaints about how heavy he is.

It's a good day today.

Fall

beginning of the end (the end of their beginning)

Tsuna calls him one evening, after skipping out on school after gym, it's something he doesn't do unless there's a really big thing he needs to share right away. The calling thing. He still skips a lot.

"What's up? I know you skipped out on school after gym." Takeshi is careful not to let the phone drop from where he has it cradled between his ear and shoulders, hands occupied as he washes the dishes.

"Takeshi you won't believe what just happened!"

Tsuna goes on a ten minute spiel with little breathing in between, talking about a talking baby with a suit and a chameleon and a gun. It sounds kind of fake, but also like something you can't just make up one day. He mentions something about the mafia and how apparently he's supposed be the next boss of some family all the way in Italy, which doesn't make sense until Tsuna tells him that he has Italian in him which might help explain why his dad is a natural blond.

This is all a bit funny and a little ridiculous.

"So it's like a mafia game? Can I play?"

Tsuna doesn't sound pleased with that answer if the noise he makes on the other end of the line has anything to say about. Takeshi ends up laughing regardless and figures this might be a nice change of pace from baseball.

A/N: Don't be afraid to leave a review!