Most people believe you have to be asleep to dream. Of course, you can distance yourself during waking hours; lose yourself to a thought, an idea. Close your eyes to people, to your surroundings, to the world.

There are daydreams certainly; the lightest of hallucinations. Trips to our subconscious sparked by the smallest of things. A colour, a taste, a smell, can all send a person down a road to the most fantastical of places. A place where you revel in fantasy and idealism. But a daydream does not stand against – cannot even compare to – the utter relaxation or terror of an unbridled imagination. In sleep, devoid of distraction and control, your greatest wish becomes ecstasy personified. Unable to suppress worries, your worst fear manifests itself before you and invites you to look into its eyes.

To dream; the greatest capacity of human life. Not something for me, someone like me. Or so I had always believed.

#

I sat up in the long grass, holding myself on my elbow. It wasn't the same. Looking around the circular meadow, everything seemed a poor imitation of what had been. The grass yellowed in the sun, which itself felt too bright, too close. The surrounding trees were gnarled and twisted, their spindly arms and fingers pointing accusingly at me. I shook my head to myself. It was a sorry attempt to feel the closeness I craved. Trying to replicate something which was unique, a feeling which had I'd found once in a century; a desperate plan.

The moment I left I wanted nothing more than to go running back. How selfish. Everything that had happened, all the trouble caused; I couldn't let it repeat itself. But maybe if I just saw her, just see that she still even existed!

No! I pushed the thought deep to the back of my mind. She wouldn't go through that again, no matter my own pain. The pain. A pain like I had never felt, a thirst I had never experienced.

I thought back to the first days and weeks spent fighting it. I tried had to smother the flames which lapped at the edge of every thought but they burnt relentlessly. No solace was found in renewed studies, they seemed such a worthless pursuit. Eventually, my resolve gave way and I let myself be consumed by sorrow. It was something of a relief to finally give in. The experience had brought me as close to tired as I had ever felt. A fatigued vampire. A laugh escaped my lips at the thought but it felt wrong, hollow.

Enough of this I thought, rising to my feet. I had to get away from here. The plan to sooth my pain had sorely backfired. All I had succeeded in doing was rubbing salt in the wound. With the slightest of effort I broke the tree line, starting slowly I let myself build up speed gradually so as to appreciate the movement fully. Soon I tore through the trees, pushing myself to the limit, harder and harder. Closing my eyes, the smells of the forest guided me. The smells became colours as they rushed past, blurring and smudged on the canvas of my mind's eye. I raced faster, willing my body to break, for my consciousness to move free of this vessel. Without form, my ethereal being couldn't hurt her. I would have been able to observe, to be close without fear of putting her in danger. Wishful thinking at best, but I didn't push the thought away like before. Instead I let it develop and surpass everything else, forgetting myself. I thought of looking into her deep brown eyes again, of tracing my fingers over the soft skin of her cheek. I thought of holding her hand to my own skin and feeling her warmth spread through me. My mind meandered through a thousand different scenarios, each one more detailed than the last. A break in my train of thought allowed me to regain my senses for a moment.

Something had changed. I no longer smelt leaves and bark around me, instead the air was clear and fresh. Opening my eyes for the first time in miles, the edge of the forest was fast approaching. Light was seeping through the trees ahead of me, pulsing and blooming as my eyes refocused on the distance. Stepping up the pace which I had let slip some dozen miles back, the light hurdled towards me. I felt drawn to it, compelled to enter that great white room and never look back. Regret was creeping back into my mind.

Putting my head down, I pushed forward. My arms pumped furiously at my sides, my legs stretching further with each stride, trying to outrun the pain working its way back into my head. Even now, my movement was but a whisper of wind among the branches. I lost all sense of caution and restraint. I made for a direct route. Around me, trunks splintered and hung in the air, falling to the ground for no visible reason. My senses sharpened in response to the increased vigour with which I moved. I could sense a flurry of activity in the wildlife, scattering from an unseen predator. I could taste every creature in the air around me; hear twigs snapping three miles away. But none of that concerned me now. I had my destination and nothing would move me from it.

I clenched my jaw, my teeth snapping together. With a final burst of speed I crashed through the trees into the clearing. My eyes took a split second to readjust to the sudden light. I could still hear the cracking of the trees behind me. I didn't look back - partly for fear of the damage I had caused but mostly because the sight before me was utterly astounding.

I stood alone in a circular clearing, not unlike the one we had visited back home. But instead of green grass, the centre here was occupied by a pool of the clearest water I had ever seen. Around the edges of the water, reeds and wild flowers swayed gently, disturbed by my abrupt entrance. Here, the sun broke through the canopy in streaks, bouncing off the water and sending light in every direction. I stepped closer to the water, moving slowly so as not to disturb the peace. The surface was so still it looked machined, something manmade surrounded by the beauty of nature.

As I got closer I leant forward with each step to the point where I was crawling to the water's edge. Pausing for a moment I looked out over the water, appreciating the air of relaxation it brought. Slowly, I tilted my head down over the mirror before me.

If my heart still beat, it would have leap through my chest, for what was before me was not a reflection of my face but that of another. Someone I hadn't believed I'd ever see again.

Bella Swan.