I am very bored. And boredom let my imagination go wild. That's all my reason of writing.

WARNING: DON'T TAKE FRANCE'S WORDS SERIOUSLY! IT IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS AND FICTIONAL! And used of Google Translate

Title: It's France's Fault

Chapter 1: Mon Ami, I have a plan

~MON AMI~

The day started like any other day in the meeting. There were shouting and teasing and chaos, it was oh-so very amusing to watch, Mon ami. It was really, for moi I guess. Amerique is loud, Japan keep agreeing with Amerique, Angleterre keep disagreeing at Amerique's every word and Germany can't settle the chaos down. Italy is even crying now at the fight everyone kept pulling out of their sleeves. What a bunch of rowdy nations unlike me who is too elegant for those fights. I'm too beautiful for them, right, Mon petit? Of course I am.

"Stop bringing the colonial me into this, England! He's too naïve back then to know how much of a prick you are!" Amerique seems to shout to Angleterre. Ah, those two can't get enough of each other. However, distructive their love may be.

"You… You git! My sweet America isn't naïve, you buffon! He's a darling who knows how to appreciate all the things I do for him! Don't compare him to you, you ungrateful little brat!" Ah, how lovely is it to hear them talk about their past. What a lovely couple they are.

"You probably used your magic on him to make him follow you everywhere!" Amerique seems to be making Angleterre more upset with his declaration, his angry tears might be the proof of that.

"Fine, then! You bloody American! Think anything you want! I won't bloody care! But one thing is for sure… The past America is much better than you!" Aie, that might hurt Amerique very much. The poor garcon hated being compared to colonial him. I mean, chacun, he had strived for independence hoping that his dearest beloved would see him as man not as a little boy. Poor Amerique.

Ah, l'amour, what a silly little you are, so crazy and so amazing, you are such a magnifique creation of moi! If only Angleterre and Amerique are more open with their feelings! I mean, look at those two, they are practically oozing in sexual tension! They needed to get laid, really. Like seriously, right now before hell break out. They should take after me! I share all my love with everyone that I have no sexual tension just sexual desire! And, mon ami, that is not bad at all, it just shows how perfectly healthy you are. Honhonhonhonhon!

Anyway, they should just go in the closet, yes the closet! The room where every nation have sex. Oh, don't blush like an innocent virgin, mon ami, sex is not a bad word! Sex is great, for me that is. For you? I'm not so sure about that but sex is done when a boy and another boy loves each other very much and they want to have a baby.. I mean a connection stronger than a bond of just being friends… Oui, it's very complicated, mon petit, your mere or your père, just don't asked him where you got the idea of a boy doing it with another boy, okay?

Anyway, you all know how Amerique and Angleterre are so in love with each other that they don't know how to release it, right? Of course you know, silly! Only blind ones can't see them. Gratter que, only they can't see it! How sad isn't it, mon ami! Those poor fools!

So, as a kind soul such as I, the great and beautiful France, I made a decision to help them because I am not at all bored and void of any person to bed, I am going to give them a special potion that my Momma gave me! A great one not like the recipe of scones that Angleterre's mother gave him. And because I am totally cupid and not a fake, I am going to spread love within the heart of those two! What a brilliant plan I have! Honhohonhonhon!

Magnifique! Awesome! This only happens once every three weeks, mon cher! They will be thanking me at the end of my three weeks slaving for them to finally feel free to show each other how magnifique l'amour is! Angleterre would be kissing the ground I walked on thanking me at the same time for the work I've put for them to use that closet already. Nobody understand why l'amour is important nowadays! Kids this day seems much interested on video games and hamburger and scones and teas and knitting! I mean, sacrebleu, knitting and video games? What had the world gone off to? Pfft, as if l'amour can't be a one night event only, pfft.

Now, mon ami, my plan involves an arrow and a bow. Non, I am not going to kill someone and I haven't stolen anything, not from Greece's God nor from anyone, non. The arrow and bow would then be use to protect me afterwards if my plan fail me and I am not saying that it will fail, trust me, it didn't. Then, I would collect one red and white rose petal, a hair of each person who'll be drinking my poison, I mean potion, and sugar, jasmine, salt and water from Switzerland because I want to and last but not least, blood from Cupid which is moi! Blood… from… me… Okay, I'm fake! So what! So we need the real Cupid's blood. I'm guessing he's still in my closet because of our deal so my problem is solved. Now, mon ami, love potion isn't going to permanently scar you for life because of the outcome personality that the drinker posses because of this, non, not forever anyway. If one might try this, please do not blame moi if it does not work.

D'ailleurs, I am going to do this now so enjoy the commercial while the beautiful me is gone.

~MON AMI~

"England! Hey, England! England? Old man? Hey!" America shouted to the fuming Brit who seem to ignore him.

"America-san, I think it is best if you don't bother England-san for a bit." Japan politely suggests which America nodded immediately, distracted by Japan's new video game which England mouthed his gratitude towards his Japanese friend.

What a disaster today is. Not only did they fought but America accused him of witchcraft that he wouldn't ever do to him, what s stupid git. The bloody buffon might even think that he forced him to eat his scones when he's the one munching on it when he was a bloody child. Bloody hell, he doesn't care at all. No, of course not! This bloody meeting should bloody end now before there would be a bloody massacre. Those bloody fool.

"Angleterre! Bonjour! What a lovely day isn't it today?" Outside the wind blows harshly and the rain fell heavily like curtains that will never ever bloody end. "What a grumpy expression for you to wear on your lovely today, Angleterre! Did you skip your Tea Break?" He don't have a bloody Tea Break, the bloody frog he is, stupid and just that, a bloody frog.

"Now, now, I know how you get when you skip your Tea Break, you talk in your head and insult everyone who talks to you! Now, being the thoughtful gentleman I am" Which is bloody not "I had brought you your tea, fresh and Earl Grey." He wouldn't drink the bloody frog's tea even if it's Earl Grey which is HIS tea.

"Why, thank you for your kindness, France." What a lovely tea, something about it is so familiar yet so exotic in his taste bud. What was it?

"The pleasure is mine, mon cher, the pleasure is mine."

What a spinning world they have, spin, spin, spin. Did he drink his alcohol before coming to the meeting? Maybe. Maybe not. But hey, look at the twirling world. Are those worried faces? Why are they worried? The bloody American might had made a fool out of himself again, serves him right.

Why is the world turning black? Ohhh, is that France smiling? He has a very sly smile. Ohhh, Is that America? He has a very beautiful face. So pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.

"England!"

~MON AMI~

"Eng—"

"Engl-"

"England! You're awake! Thank god! Everyone is worried, old man!" What a pretty man, America is so pretty.

The nations crowded England after America exclaimed England's state. One by one, they sighed in relief but only one smiled happily. He knows what will come next.

"I… America…" England blushes cutely as he fidgeted like a high school girl confessing to her first love ever. France smiled.

"Yes? What's up Iggy?" England blushes some more as he reaches for America's face and leaned up to give him a peck on the lips. The world must be crazy, no scratch that, England must have gone crazy.

"America, I love you!" England all but shouted as he hid his blushing face in his dainty hands as he shyly peeked between long dainty fingers to see the reaction of his America.

Ah, yes, England had gone crazy. America thought before he fainted.

Ah, l'amour….

TBC

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