A/N: This is just a monologue/ dedication to Mello with a song that I think fits him. Happy (Early) Birthday to that son of a chocoholic
This orphanage, this life, this destiny. It all seems so cliché, like I'm the one who's fated to become the villain, the one left behind-second. As I listened to L's voice through the laptop, I can't help but be excited to be in the presence of my idol. Yet, I could hear how low he thought of me, I could feel his eyes staring coldly, uninterested of me from beyond. He had always praised Near, and when it was my time to shine, his compliments were nothing but daggers opening the voided wound in my heart. Yet I still smiled, gloated, I was childish then and now I realize the foolish ways I blinded myself with. I can't take it anymore…everyone, Near, Roger, the teachers…L. They all did nothing but look down at me, burning a hole into my soul, leaving a hopeless being to find out how terrible life really was, how deep I dug myself into an imprudent fantasy. Thinking so hard of nothing; sitting in my room, staring at the pale white walls and revolting carpeting. Every room was the same; every goal-my goal- was the same as all the other brainwashed children. It disgusted me.
They all looked up at me praised me, supported me when I was pushed down by number one. But I know that they never really appreciated me. I took it all in, it boosted my hideous pride. It was all an act. I was useless. This is true, nothing to L, to my parents, to anyone. Just a back up for Near. Number one is most important anyways... But I can't just give up, I didn't give up. Such words make me want to heave. I need to beat him. It's as if, my soul could never rest until I did, my fate was to bring down Near. I strive for his challenges. I can't even begin to imagine my life without this being my motive. I will cross that finish line, pass him in a victorious stride. No matter how many failures, surpassing him will over match all of my futile attempts. Because when that day-that moment- finally arrives wouldn't it be worth all the risk?
Despite the fact that I was locked to artificial thoughts, my existence wasn't all washed away. My strength, my ambition, my pride, it all belonged to me and the one to challenge all of these foundations was Near. Yes, defeating Near is all that matters. I'll use every advantage I can. As soon as I headed out the orphanage's doors there was no turning back. My road had been paved down the road. The shortcuts, the warning's, the signs it held will all lead to the ending, the finale, the finish line, where I'd meet him.
Since that day, leaving that excuse of a home, I faced life, its good's and it's bad. Things that little Near would never have to go through simply due to the fact that he never puts his life to risk; he never has to put his life in jeopardy. But it seems he'll never realize that life isn't some big game. Unlike Near who's been sitting around, I've been planning, the ultimate attack. It's time to shine, to out-wit Near. Making my own moves, I finally realize how close I am to the finish line. No, my finish line. Yeah, that's it, it's time for me. See now that fool didn't do much did he? It seems that he had won in the end, didn't he. Up till now I can feel half of my presence drifting away, walking up to the finish line. My efforts seem to have prevailed, but not that they mattered. Even though I didn't reach the finish line, I now know who destined to cross it, the finish line of justice.
Uh... I had to take the lyrics out for copyright reasons. *threat of depression looming*
A/N: Nice? Cheesy? Amazing? Lame? Please tell me how you felt about this! I think doubt a little of how this came out. I actually did this all now. I'm planning on making a one-shot fluff with Near on his actual birthday. At the end: The finish line of justice was supposed to be a stronger word and I can't seem to find the right word within me, maybe that word is fine (tell me what you think in a review). Also when Mello talks about his finish line… I guess you guys have figured it out. ^^ And his "presence" is that Near still gave Mello credit to solving the Kira Case. As he states: "Together I and Mello were able to surpass L!" or in other terms. I don't hate Near (if it seems like I do here) I don't know why a lot of fans hate the guy, but what ever (you could tell me in the reviews). Oh! Importantly (probably not important to others but) the song was Fences by Paramore. Anyways if there are any confusion about this please tell me in a PM or Review. Sayonara~!