Into the Ocean series Chapter 1: Into the Ocean, a sentinel fanfic

Into the Ocean (original songfic)

They were gone. Finally.

There was the sound of the semi growling back to life. It coughed out a puff of diesel-scented smoke, and then the massive vehicle began to move, its weighted tires rolling heavily across the gravel. Listening as the sounds faded into the distance, Blair held his breath a moment longer, until the world itself seemed to recover from the madness.

Fortunately, the world at large was much more resilient than he was. A light breeze soon stirred the surrounding trees into quiet whispers. It was about the sweetest sound Blair had ever heard. He felt tired muscles relax, and allowed himself a soft sigh as his eyelids shuttered closed.

~ * ~

I'm just a normal boy that sank when I fell overboard

My ship would leave the country but I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again; wish I was much more masculine

Maybe then I could learn to swim like fourteen miles away

~ * ~

The dream was different this time, as though somehow he knew, even with his brain shut down and the sights and sounds around him shut away, that he was alone -- apart both from the brothers who had seemed so intent on torturing him to death, and from the friends who stood very little hope of ever finding him alive. Instead of a wild ride through hell, Blair's dream this time gave him a tiny glimmer of desperate hope, a tenuous lifeline he was almost afraid to accept.

~ * ~

Now floating up and down;

I spin, colliding into sound

Like whales beneath me diving down

I'm sinking to the bottom of my

Everything that freaks me out

The lighthouse beam has just run out

I'm cold as cold as cold can be

be...

~ * ~

Shivering, Blair came awake to darkness and the sound of a gentle rain.

If night had fallen, how long had he been asleep? He tried to calculate time based on his jumbled perspectives. The effort proved too much for him to handle, causing his head to throb and his eyes to blur. He could not even be sure how long he had been here, or where here actually was. The building had once been a roadside store; that much was obvious from the old, broken shelving units and long dead neon signs. But the road it stood beside was as deserted as the store was. It was a forgotten place, a ghost town without the actual town behind it.

~ * ~

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

~ * ~

Into the Ocean (original songfic)

They were gone. Finally.

~ * ~

I'm just a normal boy that sank when I fell overboard

My ship would leave the country but I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life vest I'd be stuck again; wish I was much more masculine

Maybe then I could learn to swim like fourteen miles away

~ * ~

Now floating up and down;

I spin, colliding into sound

Like whales beneath me diving down

I'm sinking to the bottom of my

Everything that freaks me out

The lighthouse beam has just run out

I'm cold as cold as cold can be

be...

~ * ~

Shivering, Blair came awake to darkness and the sound of a gentle rain.

~ * ~

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

~ * ~

"Jim?" Blair called weakly into the night, the sound barely escaping the fire in his throat, barely slipping through the cracks and cuts in his lips. "I'm sorry. You were right. You're always right. I should have listened to you. Why didn't I listen?"

He dropped his head back against the concrete wall with a soft thud that reverberated through each and every one of his raw nerve endings. The solid wall was a solid reminder. He didn't listen. And now he was here, alone, trussed up like some hunter's forgotten quarry and forced to face the consequences of his most damning weakness.

~ * ~

Where is the coastguard; I keep looking each direction

For a spotlight, give me something; I need something for protection

Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine; the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind

I'm treading for my life, believe me –

How can I keep up this breathing?

~ * ~

Pheromones, Jim, He'd explained once to his friend.

You can't fight that sort of attraction. Combine it with Blair's already somewhat excessive admiration for women, and the fight can be over long before it's even begun. But when Jim had warned him against tutoring the daughter of a known Mafioso, Blair had insisted he could handle it. She needed help. How could he let her down? How could he let anyone down when he knew perfectly well he had the ability to provide the help they needed?

He had never expected to fall for her.

Then he got to know her -- to really know her -- and all his expectations went crashing down. He didn't just fall, he took a swan dive off the highest possible peak and landed with a crushing belly flop into the coldest, darkest waters imaginable.

~ * ~

Not knowing how to think

I scream aloud, begin to sink

My legs and arms are broken down

With envy for the solid ground

I'm reaching for the life within me

How can one man stop his ending?

I thought of just your face

Relaxed, and floated into space

~ * ~

"Jim?" Blair rasped to the vision standing before him.

His friend was smiling, offering him a beer. Thanks, Jim. Yeah. I'd love one. Yet somehow he couldn't seem to wrap his hands around it. And he was thirsty, so very thirsty. The rain falling outside was a cruel joke.

Water, water everywhere, but nary a drop to drink. Where had he heard that? Somewhere, some when, in a time that had no meaning, or that simply no longer mattered.

~ * ~

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

~ * ~

She's dead, Jim, Blair told the vision. She's dead, and it's my fault. It's all ... all my fault. I killed her, Jim. She's dead.

His friend, still smiling, handed him another beer. Again, it slipped through his fingers, his numb, unfeeling fingers, fingers that refused to even move, that were trapped, wrapped up, taped together ... useless.

As useless as he was. I killed her, Jim.

~ * ~

Now waking to the sun

I calculate what I had done

Like jumping from the bow (yeah)

Just to prove I knew how (yeah)

It's midnight's late reminder of

The loss of her, the one I love

My will to quickly end it all

Set front row in my need to fall

~ * ~

"I love you, Blair," She had told him just before his world exploded.

One small, quick bullet was all it took -- one gun, one bullet, and just the right trajectory. Boom. And she was gone.

~ * ~

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean...end it all

~ * ~

And her brothers blamed Blair. They said he was working for Daddy's rival. They tried hard to get him to talk, but, "I loved her," was all he could tell them. It took a long while for them to accept that his choking sobs were as much for her as for the pain of their incessant incentives. But they finally got it. In the end, they got it. And they finally left him alone. They abandoned him here, in this nameless shop as dead as the road beside it.

As dead as the woman he'd known for so short a time -- the woman he'd loved.

~ * ~

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

~ * ~

"Blair," the vision called out to him.

For some reason, Jim wasn't smiling anymore. And where was the beer? Blair really wanted that beer. He began to imagine beer falling from the sky like rain. He could see an entire ocean of it.

~ * ~

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean ...

~ * ~

"Come on, Chief. I need you to stay with me, here."

The world shifted then. It tilted on its axis. Or he did....

He could feel himself being moved. He was pushed. He was pulled. But it was okay, because Jim said it was okay. Everything was okay.

His hands were suddenly free, enabling him finally to pull himself back to the surface. But he needn't bother. The feeling of motion was comforting, like a baby being rocked in a cradle, safe, secure, and protected despite the storm raging outside.

~ * ~

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

~ * ~

He could taste cool air as something was pressed against his face. But cool air did nothing to quench his thirst. He swatted the thing away, and looked out into the night, his gaze meeting Jim's once again.

His friend drew closer. Jim's forehead was etched with concern, his eyes cautious.

"It's okay, Blair. Just let them do what they need to do, okay Chief?"

But Blair had to ask him, and it was so hard to talk. Jim leaned in closer.

Finally, "Where's that beer?" He managed to whisper.

No normal person would have heard him. But his sentinel did. And finally, there was that smile, the one Blair had been envisioning.

"Soon enough, Buddy," Jim said as his own tension seemed to melt away. "Soon enough."

~ * ~

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

(Into space)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I thought of just your face

* * * * *