All Work, No Play, Thanks Hayate

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Oneshot

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Fullmetal Alchemist and the characters in Fullmetal Alchemist. I just write fanfiction, that's all, and I gain no monetary profit from doing so. I just get writing practice.

The brown-haired sergeant heaved a two-foot tall box upon the counter in front of Riza, a grunt leaving his thin lips as it hit down upon the surface a bit harder than he'd intended. "I wish I could say this was all of it, ma'am," he said then sighed. "Since we're doing an overhaul in records we're swamped with this stuff. It will probably be another week before we manage any form of structure with things."

Riza grabbed the handles of the box. She lifted it off the counter, cursing silently at the weight. "And I wish I could thank you for this, Sergeant Daniels, but working overtime isn't something I relish any more than you do."

The sergeant laughed. "I understand that all too well, Lieutenant Hawkeye. I wouldn't thank me either," he said. "There should be another box coming this afternoon. I'll have someone bring it over to your office. Good luck."

"Thank you. We're probably going to need all the luck we can get," she said.

-/-/-

Her arms didn't start tingling until she was halfway to her destination. By the time she was in the office, she felt currents of burning ascending from her wrists to her shoulders, begging her to put the heavy box down. She growled as she approached Roy's door and saw it was shut. She took a step back and kicked it, her boot thumping against the dark oak wood. She waited a moment and moved to kick it again. At the same time she kicked at it, the door opened and her foot greeted Roy's crotch with a firm and very much unwished-for salute.

A yelp reminiscent of a cat's mating call emerged from him and he grabbed himself. Even Hayate, who was lying comfortably beside Roy's desk, cringed upon seeing the hit.

"Sir!" Riza dropped the box, the papers and folders inside spreading across the floor. She rushed to his side and put an arm around his shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"You just kicked me in the nuts, Hawkeye," he said, his voice taking on a slight squeak to it. "No, I'm not okay." He sucked in a deep breath and cringed.

"Let me help you over to your chair, sir." She guided him over to his seat, and he lowered himself down onto it bit by bit.

"Do you need any ice for your . . ."

"Balls, testicles, nuts, sperm dorm, you pick one."

"I was going to say injury," Riza said, even though she was obviously debating the terminology to use." Um, I don't think you need ice."

"No, I don't want ice." He said and took a deep breath in and out, making an O with his lips on the exhale. "How could you do that?"

"It was an accident, sir."

He ignored her statement, and she couldn't blame him. "You know by doing that, it will cause you to suffer too, right? I bet they're swollen to the point I can't even—"

"Stop acting as if I did it on purpose, and there shouldn't be any of that talk going on in the office." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, I can do without sex easier than you can." Riza moved toward the door but paused mid turn when one of the terms he used finally caught her attention. She turned back to him and cast him an incredulous look. "Sperm dorm?"

Roy shrugged. She walked over to the papers that had scattered across the room, and began to pick them up. He looked at Hayate, opened his desk drawer, and pulled out a small treat. The dog walked over to him and sat down at his feet, eyes focused on the food and his tail wagging. Roy cringed when he bent over and extended the treat. "I have big plans tonight, Hayate, but I think your mommy ruined them."

The dog tilted his head to the right, made an odd chirp sound, and then took the treat from Roy.

"Who are you talking to?" Riza asked.

"Hayate," Roy said.

"So you've recovered from the earthquake that hit your...sperm dorm?" she punctuated the last two words with a slight chuckle.

"There are still some aftershocks, but I think they'll hold up."

"Good because we have a lot of paperwork and can't go have them checked for structural integrity," she said.

Roy laughed until she heaved the box of papers on the table beside his desk. "Wa...wait a minute. Don't tell me all of that is paperwork."

"Very well, I won't tell you it is."

His eyes narrowed and his lips flattened. "Why so much?"

"Records are revamping their system. They need all these things reexamined to make sure they're up to date. If they are, sign and date the bottom. If they aren't, they have to be copied and redone as updated versions."

Riza proceeded to remove the stacks of papers from the box. She set them on the table and then set the box on the floor beside it. She picked up the stack closest to her and carried them to Roy's desk. After setting the papers down, she moved back over to get a stack she could work with.

"We are going to be here all day and half the night with this many forms."

"It's likely."

"We have a date tonight too," he said.

Riza sighed and frowned. She'd been looking forward to it as much as he was. "Looks like we'll have to cancel it."

Roy grumbled and looked down at Hayate who whined and rested his head on his lap. "As always, work interferes," Roy said. He grabbed a pen roughly from the cup on his desk, causing it to topple right and left several times before settling back to its steady position.

He was right. When it came to their personal lives, work always seemed to inject itself. "It can't be helped."

"Yeah, whatever," he muttered, his bad mood falling over him like a rainstorm. He knew work was important, but why did so much work have to take place on the very night he had something special planned? It was as if fate was against them so much that it threw out every obstacle possible, banning them from any kind of permanent happiness they might reach. "Sorry for the rude tone," Roy said when he realized how he responded to her.

"It's okay, sir. I'm sorry our date has to be cancelled too."

Roy took one of the papers off the large stack on his desk and stared down at it for a moment, his eyes skimming across the form. "This one is fine," he said, but then commented further when he paid more attention to the numbers upon the sheet. "Damn."

"What is it?" she asked, looking up from a form she was checking over.

"It's the annual budget list for last year. I didn't realize so much money was spent."

"Probably from the damages caused to headquarters during the earthquake."

"Yes, that's likely the case since, according to this, most of the budget went toward contractors and building supply warehouses."

Riza looked back down at her paper. When she saw it needed no changes, she put it on the right corner of her desk. She kept doing this until finally she had to place one on the left side, a form that needed to be changed. Roy noticed her actions.

"What are you doing?"

"If you organize your work first it will be easier to do."

Roy began doing the same thing as Riza. He was thrilled when he saw that none of the forms on his desk needed to be redone. They then proceeded to organize the rest of the forms into redo and up to date piles. By the time they were finished, a young man had brought in another box, setting it where the previous one had been.

He groaned. "We have to get this done tonight?"

"Yes," she said. "It's not just us though. Most of headquarters will be here for a long while tonight. The military might end up bankrupt due to all of the overtime we're putting in."

Roy bent down to lift the new box of paperwork up on the table before Riza got a chance. "I should call the restaurant now and cancel our reservations."

"I—" She sighed. "—I guess that would be a good idea."

Roy walked over to the phone and dialed the number. His eyebrow twitched in annoyance as the woman at the restaurant told someone a reservation was just cancelled and that she could fill them in. He slammed the phone down, shut the door to the office, and stomped over to stand beside Riza. He snatched some papers from the table, headed back to his desk, and proceeded to take part in the monotonous actions of going through them once more. This time, the pile of redo forms was higher than the up to date pile.

By the end of the workday, their work productivity had grown sluggish, but they still couldn't quit. They weren't even halfway through the forms they had to redo, and they had to be finished by morning.

"I'll go get us some dinner, sir. We're going to need it. Anything in particular you want?"

"You choose. I don't mind what you pick."

"All right then," she said and stood.

"Hey, I'll go with you."

She shook her head and slipped on her coat. "You should stay and work. You have files only you can complete. The sooner those get done, the sooner we get to go home."

Roy sighed and went back to working as she left the office. Yes, they'd get to go back home, but it would be her going back to her box filled apartment and him going back to his old, cold rent house.

He released a frustrated grunt loud enough to get Hayate's attention.

Roy looked at him. "Maybe I should forget about it and let her find someone better."

Hayate growled. Roy chuckled and scratched him behind the ears. "Sometimes I think you understand me. So, you think I should still ask her?"

Hayate barked.

He shook his head. "I'm asking a dog for advice. What's this world coming to?" To be fair, Hayate was an intelligent dog.

Roy opened his second desk drawer and removed a treat. He gave it to Hayate before directing his gaze back to the drawer. Inside, nestled between a metal separator and his alchemy journal, was something he'd wanted to give Riza for years.

He shut the drawer. His ambitions no longer lied in becoming fuehrer. Even if he'd wanted to, a deal with the Ishbalans guaranteed that he could not. His new goal was the most important thing he had ever taken on and he wouldn't let a pile of mere papers keep him from attaining it. No matter what, tonight he would set out to achieve his most important aspiration, and he hoped for a positive outcome.

Thirty minutes after his mental declarations, Riza entered the room carrying two polystyrene trays and a drink carrier with two insulated cups. After giving him his things, she walked over to the desk with hers.

Snapping open the cup's lid, the fresh aroma of coffee drifted to his nose. He took a sip. He took a drink, relishing the feeling of the hot, bitter liquid washing his tongue and going down his throat.

"I love coffee."

Riza smiled but didn't look up from her dinner. "I know."

"I love you too," he said.

Riza chuckled. "You only love me because I brought you coffee."

"It only enhances it."

-/-/-

After eating, they went back to work. The office stayed silent until the huge clock in Central chimed. He counted each tremble of the bell. It was nine o' clock. If his plans had come to fruition he would be giving her the-His thoughts were cut off when Riza called for Hayate. He watched as the dog walked over to her. "Please take this over to the general." She smiled at him. "I think my legs are too numb to stand, sir."

Hayate gently took the papers between his teeth and brought them to Roy. "Could you sign and return them, sir? I can fill out the rest."

"Sure." He took the forms, gave Hayate a portion of a treat, and went through the papers, signing each one of them at the bottom.

He stood up and his right leg tingled and gave out. He managed to hit back into his chair instead of on the floor.

"Sir, are you all right?"

"Yes, my leg went numb as well. He lifted his leg and slammed his foot down on the floor, the tingle shot through the limb, making him laugh along with a groan of discomfort.

Riza chuckled at the look on his face and went back to her forms. She lifted her elbow up to rest on the desk and rested her face against it as she wrote. People wouldn't bother coming into the office without knocking, and she was tired, so no one except Roy would see her in the sluggish state.

She jumped slightly when Roy spoke, "Done." He stood but then groaned and sat back down. He handed the papers to Hayate. "Hayate, do you mind?" He looked at Riza. "My leg is still tingling and my testicles feel like they are on fire."

"Still?" Riza questioned.

"You wore still toe boots today. I'm just glad the kick wasn't as accurate as your shooting or you'd be dealing with me in the hospital."

Riza looked toward her feet, which weren't viewable since her legs were under her desk, and then looked back up at him. "I wasn't paying attention to the boots I put on this morning."

"I guess I was distracting you."

Riza blushed and took the paperwork that Hayate had carried over. In the next few hours, Hayate was helping them out more and more and seemed to be doing it happily. Roy gave him a tiny bacon treat every so often to award him.

He finished off the paperwork and gave Hayate a treat. After the dog gobbled it up, Roy started to hand him the paperwork but paused as he noticed his second desk drawer was still opened slightly, the black velvet box teasing him. He grinned and sat the paper's down on his desk. He grabbed the box and bent down toward Hayate.

"I will buy you a huge steak if you'll help me out," he said.

-/-/-

The words on the forms felt as if they were filling her eyes and making them grow heavier with each line. She squeezed her eyes shut. When she felt her leg being nudged, she looked down and saw Hayate. She moved to grab the papers but realized there was something else in his jaw's grip.

"What do you have in your mouth?" She reached down to remove the item. "I told you not to go chewing on thin..."

Riza heart sped up as she opened the box, revealing a simple diamond ring with a silver band. "Is this..."

She never thought she'd ever be one of the women that would be proposed to in any way, especially not by Roy Mustang. She had been resigned, happily so, to being Roy's girlfriend. She hadn't ever needed marriage. But she'd wanted it someday.

She removed the ring from the box and slid it on the proper finger, the piece fitting perfectly around the digit.

"So, what's your answer?" he questioned.

Riza stood shakily and started to walk quickly toward his desk to hug him. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that she'd placed the box that the paperwork was in beside her desk and as a result, she tripped. Her stumble shot her toward Roy. She hit him and caused them both to tumble backward onto the floor. Riza groaned and slowly moved her head up to look at him.

He grinned. "Is that a yes?"

RW 2018