Author's Note: I bet most of you are wondering what W.T.S. stands for... and yet some already know... *giggles like Undertaker-sama*

W.T.S.

A Shinigami–centric, Kuroshitsuji fan fiction story.

"Yo, Eric–senpai!"

Eric Slingby turned, his wavy blond hair styled his favorite way and his suit slightly more casual than usual. He stared curiously at Ronald Knox, whose blond hair was as handsomely messy as ever, green eyes practically laughing as he doubled over in complete hysterics.

"Um, Ronald?" Eric muttered, bewildered as the blond reaper simply continued laughing, even harder, tears forming in his eyes as he clutched onto the older reaper's shoulder for support. "Seriously, what's so funny?"

Ronald took a deep breath, straightening up and deftly wiping the tears from his eyes. "It's… William…" He mumbled, trying not to burst out laughing once again. All Eric could do was stare as the young reaper sniggered to himself amusedly.

A flash of red suddenly came in between them. "Did someone say William?"

They both turned to find none other than Grell Sutcliff, who quickly grinned, showing off his sharp, shark-like teeth. His blood red hair flowed freely around his shoulders; his red coat hung loosely over his brown and white vested suit, and his red–framed glasses casually perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Me, me! I was the one talking about William!" Ronald yelled joyfully, silent mirth shining from his emerald green eyes through his black framed glasses.

"What's so funny about William, anyway?" Eric asked, shrugging and rolling his eyes nonchalantly as the thought of his cold, uptight boss. "Last time I checked, there wasn't anything funny about him."

"Yeah, Ronald, tell us!" Grell added enthusiastically, girlishly twirling a strand of his long, dark red hair and smiling with excitement that could barely be concealed.

Before anyone could say another word, another Shinigami came walking towards them. Brown–haired, green–eyed, and wearing frameless glasses, Alan Humphries approached them with the same respectful, sophisticated movements. Eric seemed most pleased with seeing him.

Alan waved. "Hey guys. Apparently, there's this big job going on around the northern outskirts of London and there's going to be a huge overhaul of souls, so William's calling us–"

He could only stare, confused, as Ronald burst out laughing hysterically once again.

Grell crossed his arms impatiently. "I don't understand what's very funny about Will! Tell us now, Ronald, or else I'll–"

"Can't– tell… Too funny– HAHAHA!" the reaper answered incoherently, holding his painful stomach. Then, a light bulb seemed to appear above his head as he gained an idea. "Let's go to William's office instead!"

Ronald then grabbed Eric and Alan, dragging them towards William T. Spears' office. Grell happily bounded after them, humming a heavy metal rock tune all the while.

William T. Spears leaned back in his swivel chair, gathering the latest soul theft case files on his cluttered desk. He neatly fixed each and every paper in correct order, compiling important documents in envelopes and folders. Anyone would have instantly perceived him to be a strict, no-nonsense, by-the-book kind of gentleman who rarely tolerated noise and had obsessive-compulsive disorder- the typical uptight boss.

"Honestly… There are so many unnecessary things that have to be dealt with," William muttered to himself softly, pushing his rectangular glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

Suddenly, his office door opened with a loud bang. Grell Sutcliff skipped inside gracefully, Ronald Knox laughing while pulling a puzzled Alan Humphries and an amused Eric Slingby behind him.

William stood up, ignoring his new headache. "What is with all the noise? I recall asking Alan Humphries to bring you all here for a new case, but I don't remember requesting for a racket to be made as well!"

Eric definitely didn't want to anger his boss yet again and decided to turn on his professional mode, making up an alibi. "We're sorry for the trouble, boss, but Grell and Ronald are just very excited for the case. That's all, really…"

"Last time I checked, their initial reactions would be complaining, whining, and begging," The dark–haired Shinigami said coldly, "What exactly is going on?"

Then, out of the blue, Grell jumped onto William and clung to his arm, batting his eyelashes. "Will~! Stop being so cold. We're just very happy to see you!" He then started hugging him, ignoring the slowly proliferating bad vibes all over the room.

Alan stopped glaring at the still–laughing Ronald and sighed, eyeing Grell. "Uh–oh. This isn't good. At this point, William–senpai might actually kill him."

Eric nodded sympathetically. "I agree. Oh, here it goes. Three, two, one…"

A pruning pole appeared and extended out of nowhere in William's right hand, and he immediately hit the red–haired Shinigami once, twice, thrice on the head, not even hesitating at all. Specks of blood showered upon the previously pristine carpet.

Grell lay wrecked on the ground, clutching his bleeding head and blissfully saying, "Oh, Will~! That was even more aggressive than I expected!"

"Next time you touch me, Grell Sutcliff, you will find yourself thrown outside the window with nothing but your pathetic, bloody self and a huge pay cut. Now get up. You're making my carpet even dirtier," William emotionlessly said, pushing his glasses up his nose and returning the pruning pole back to its original length.

Alan sweat–dropped, timidly inquiring, "Anyway, senpai, what's the case about?"

"Enough!" Ronald interrupted firmly, striding proudly towards the other four reapers. He ran a hand through his messy, blond hair and smirked at William, continuing, "I need to tell you something important."

"I pray, Ronald Knox, that this 'something important' is worth hearing. My patience is wearing thin and this case needs attention. What is it?" William said reluctantly, his emerald green eyes narrowing in apprehension.

Grell, Eric, and Alan instantly stared at the blond Shinigami, thinking of the mysterious, funny joke that he was laughing about a few minutes earlier. Alan held onto Eric's left arm, scared of what was to happen. Grell eagerly looked at William, only listening in to find out the cold reaper's reaction to whatever Ronald's joke was. Eric rolled his eyes, knowing that William was definitely not going to like whatever he was going to hear.

"It's a joke, actually, and a pretty funny one too!" Ronald exclaimed cheerfully, the signs of laughter already seeping through his eyes. "Okay, so there's this really cold and serious guy. He's a by–the–book and no–nonsense type of dude, so only few dare mess with him. He has black hair, green eyes, and always wears a suit. He even carries around this scary pruning pole that extends to extreme lengths and can cut through your skin until you die. He kicks people on Wednesdays and–"

"Ronald Knox, what exactly are you trying to–"

"And the funny part is that he doesn't know that his initials spell out 'what the shit'!"

A deadly silence filled the room. No one spoke. Not Alan, who was still gripping Eric's arm tightly for fear of what was to come next. Not Eric, who bit his lip to hold back his laughter. Not even Grell, who simply covered his mouth with his hand just to hide his glee about the new discovery regarding his boss' name. William himself was just looking at Ronald with an unreadable expression on his face.

A minute passed and no one moved. Ronald seemed to notice the tense silence, realizing his grave mistake and awkwardly breaking the ice. "You see, William–senpai, I just noticed it a while ago when you sent me the revised list of the souls I had to reap for tomorrow. You signed the note with 'W.T.S.' and I realized that the letters corresponded–"

Grell spoke up curiously. "I didn't know you signed notes with your initials, Will~!"

William could only answer faintly, "It's a recent thing that I started doing so… so…"

Everyone stared at the dark–haired Shinigami, who fell silent, instead glaring dangerously at Ronald. He quickly gripped his pruning pole in his right hand, preparing to hit yet another reaper.

The target sprinted around the room, avoiding the hits being aimed at him and squealing all the while. Eric snapped, bursting out in laughter under the desk so as not to be seen by his boss. "What the shit! That's priceless, absolutely priceless!"

Alan rolled his eyes, attempting to pull the older Shinigami from under the desk. "Eric! Stop that! It's not nice to laugh at someone else's name, especially when he's more superior to you."

"But it really is funny, you know," Grell said coquettishly, sitting on top of the desk with his red coat draped over his arms and his legs delicately crossed. "I've known Will for hundreds of years and I don't understand how I never could have realized that his initials spelled out 'what the shit'. Well, I guess the word 'shit' didn't exist a hundred years ago, or did it?"

Grell shrugged, and went on blabbing nonchalantly. "Of course, what struck me most about the joke was that the phrase really does match him. Seriously, W.T.S. is up with not immediately falling head over heels in love with me? Ugh. However, Will has always been more appealing with his cold demeanor, though, but–"

William stopped in the act of stabbing Ronald, pruning pole barely a few inches away from the target's face. He turned and eyed Grell instead, walking casually towards the red–clad reaper and his green eyes suddenly glowing with the aura of murder. "Grell Sutcliff… How many times do I have to tell you that you have to watch your close proximity to the line that you should not even dare cross, which, should it ever happen, could cause me to actually KILL you?"

Ronald started sneaking to the door, some centimeters away from the knob, when the pruning pole extended and blocked the exit. William, back still turned and eyes still focused on a now sweating Grell, said quietly, "Don't you dare escape, Ronald Knox. I am not done with you at all."

"B–but… Senpai…"

"Will~! You can't possibly cause me pain any more aggressively than earlier, can you? I'm sure that deep inside, you want to move on to the next level of affection and skip the part that actually hurts, right…?" Grell said, trying to sound positive and slowly backing away.

"G–Grell–senpai has a point, William–s–senpai!" Ronald piped up, making a last, vain attempt at escaping punishment. "Besides, your name's actually cool. 'What the shit' makes a good pick–up line, and the best part is that they correspond to your initials! Even Grell–senpai thinks so too, r–right?"

"Of course! See, Will? Don't be like this, although you do look quite hot right now–"

THUMP. William firmly tapped his pruning pole on the floor, instantly silencing the two, blabbering reapers. He growled, "Enough! First of all, I haven't gotten over you two making a racket when entering my office a while ago. You didn't even knock!"

"We'll promise to knock next time, senpai–"

"Yes, I'll even knock to the tune of your favorite song so that–"

THUMP. "Second, there is always a limit when it comes to expressing your… er… affection towards your superior! No hugging, no cringe–inducing side comments and definitely NO calling me with a nickname!"

"I think that only applies to Grell–senpai–"

"But Will~! I can't help myself when you–"

THUMP. "You dare finish that sentence and I'm demoting you three positions down, Grell Sutcliff! I've had enough of your gay shit!"

"Your anger sends chills up my spine…"

"Hey, 'gay shit' corresponds to Grell–senpai's initials too!"

THUMP. "Next, you don't just tell someone about something unnecessary regarding his name or initials. It's rude, impolite–"

"Now, that applies to Ronald!"

"I just thought it was funny, so–"

THUMP. "There are some things that people are better off not knowing. Besides, I already knew and–"

"You did? Did you laugh when you found out?"

"How did you find out, Will~?"

THUMP. "Then, you drop the professional, solemn vibe that a proper Shinigami should have when receiving an extremely grave mission regarding soul theft! Casually coming in and presenting yourself to me as if you just discovered the most brilliant joke on earth–"

"But it is the most brilliant joke on earth–"

"Yes, Ronald should have kept his mouth shut. Now can you please let me get up from the ground, Will~? My legs could get cramps and–"

"Oh, I should have thought of telling Undertaker–senpai about the joke first…"

THUMP. "Do not interrupt me while I'm speaking! And don't even think about telling Undertaker or else I'll make you wish you've never been reincarnated!"

"Perhaps you can skip the introduction and start aggressively hitting me already, Will~? I'm already shuddering with excitement~!"

"I need to go to the bathroom and use the toilet, William–senpai."

"Oh, me too! Can I, can I? I promise nothing will happen between me and Ronald while we're gone! I'll come back as soon as possible!"

THUMP. "Do you honestly think I'll fall for that trick?" He raised his pruning pole.

"No, seriously, William–senpai! I might wet your carpet!"

"Ooh, I'm afraid I already did wet your carpet, Will~! That look on your face right now really does send shivers up my spine…"

"Senpai… What the shit… Wait, I WASN'T TEASING YOU– Please, DON'T KILL ME!"

Meanwhile, outside, Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries had managed to sneakily exit the room without being noticed. A loud grumble resounded throughout the empty hallway.

Eric looked out the window. "Was that thunder?"

Alan reddened slightly, looking down. "Um, that was my stomach."

"What, really?" he replied, chuckling softly. "Well, I'm hungry too. Let's go have dinner. There's a newly–opened restaurant downtown and I heard the food's really good there too."

"Ah, is that so? Let's go, then!"

Eric and Alan walked casually away from the door to William T. Spears' office, ignoring the loud, banging noise coming from the inside.

"William–senpai, no! Please– WAAAHH!"

"Oh, oh, OH! OH, WILL~!"

~PastaWar19 ^_^