Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series, all its characters, settings, and basic plot ideas belong to JK Rowling. This is simply me borrowing them for my own entertainment.

This fanfic idea, however, is mine.


"Professor, I woke up, and Sirius Black was standing over me, holding a knife!"

~ Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter thirteen


Black Regrets

He had a very strange dream. He was walking through a forest, his Firebolt over his shoulder, following something silvery-white. It was winding its way through the trees ahead, and he could only catch glimpses of it between the leaves. Anxious to catch up with it, he sped up, but as he moved faster, so did his quarry. Harry broke into a run, and ahead he heard hooves gathering speed. Now he was running flat out, and ahead he could hear galloping. Then he turned a corner into a clearing and —

Harry gasped awake as he felt a cold hand cover his mouth to prevent him from making noise. His eyes followed the arm up and suddenly he was staring into the blurry face of Sirius Black.

Feeling a jolt of fear, Harry instantly squirmed, trying to get free, but Black pulled out a wand, Harry's own wand, he realised, and placed it against Harry's heart. "Don't move, and be silent," Black growled.

Harry froze, his heart beating faster as adrenaline paced through him. As Black removed his hand from over Harry's mouth, Harry sent a panicked glance over at the nearest bed. Behind the curtains, snoring was heard.

Nobody else was even aware that Black was in the room.

Looking back at Black, Harry realised a split second too late what Black was going to do. He nearly cried out as the wrong end of a knife swung toward him. He felt a burst of pain go through his head, and then the world went black.


Harry groaned softly as his eyes fluttered open. He had a pounding headache, but as Harry tried to lift a hand to his forehead, he realised he couldn't. His hands were restrained behind his back, with what Harry thought felt like rope.

The memory of what had happened came back to Harry abruptly, and he looked around the room for any sign of Black. He was slightly relieved he was alone in the room.

Examining the room closer, Harry tried to determine where he was, but he found no clues. Through blurry eyes, he could determine only a few things. The room was covered in dust. Blood splattered the walls, and several pieces of furniture were ripped apart and splintered; though there was also a bed on the far side of the room.

Aunt Petunia would probably have a heart attack just at the sight of it. It was certainly nowhere Harry had even been before.

Trying to ease himself into a sitting position, Harry blinked away the last of his drowsiness, but he knew it wouldn't matter at this point if he were drowsy or not. He had no wand, and even if he had a wand, he was tied up. What good would he do against Black? Add in the fact that his glasses were probably still on his nightstand at Hogwarts…

Harry sighed. This would not end well. As he sat there, his thoughts turned to Ron and Hermione, wondering how they were taking his disappearance.


Remus stared at the pair of Gryffindors sitting in front of Dumbledore's desk. They were Harry's best friends, Remus knew, and it had been the pair of them who had first noticed his absence. They had immediately gone to the Marauder's Map, and not seeing him on it, had gone to McGonagall. She had brought them to Dumbledore, where they were now.

The Marauder's Map was lying on the desk in between Dumbledore and his two students. Just staring at it brought back memories. Bitter memories of his one time friend, Sirius Black. Remus closed his eyes as he wondering briefly what the man was doing to Harry.

Remus pushed the grim thought away. The pain of it was too much to bear.

A knock on the door and Snape entered, scanning the room. "There is no sign of him on the grounds, nor in the castle anywhere," he reported.

"Not that we thought there would be. This map, it seems, is accurate," Dumbledore said, his eyes focused on the map so he didn't have to see Hermione's tear stained face.

"What will we do, Albus? He must be found!" McGonagall insisted.

Dumbledore didn't answer, though he appeared to be thinking hard.

Professor Sprout stepped forward. "If I may suggest something…perhaps, we should search all his old hangouts,"

"Yes," Dumbledore murmured. He turned abruptly to Remus. "You will know those, I trust?"

Remus frowned. "I can make a list," he replied.

Dumbledore nodded.

"Minerva, take Miss Granger and Mr Weasley back to Gryffindor Tower, and then gather the rest of the teachers. We must send out people immediately to every location Black may be,"

"Won't it be dangerous to face him alone? What about contacting the Ministry?" Sprout asked.

Dumbledore frowned. "I believe it is better if we solve this with the public not knowing. It will cause a panic. The students, as well, must not find out," he explained, then looked directly at Hermione at Ron. Both of them nodded, understanding.

McGonagall then ushered them out of the room.

"Now, about that list…" Dumbledore said, turning to Remus.


Harry perked up as the door to the room opened and he caught sight of a man entering. He knew it to be Black, despite not being able to see very well.

Black stopped and stared at him, as if wondering what he was supposed to do next. Harry shifted nervously, staring back.

Black finally walked across the room and collapsed onto the bed wearily.

Harry continued staring at him, wondering just what Black was going to do with him. Surely, he would be taken to Voldemort. Black had plenty of chance to kill him if that was all that he had wanted to do.

Black pulled out Harry's wand and starting examining it with a brooding expression on his face. "What's the core?" he asked suddenly.

Harry didn't know why Black had asked, but if a little friendly conversation was what it took to keep Black calm, then Harry didn't mind.

"Phoenix feather,"

"Holly and phoenix feather," Black murmured, running his fingers over the wand.

Harry felt a spike of anger at the thought of him touching it, but he attempted to keep it down. Anger would only make things worse.

"Well, it's nothing like my own wand, but I suppose it'll do for now. It's not like you need it," Black said, then pocketed the wand again.

Harry grimaced and looked away. He shifted again, trying to free his wrists. If he were untied, it would make everything different. At least there would be a chance of escape.

A noise from downstairs made both Black and Harry on instant alert. Harry's hopes peaked. Was that someone come to help him?

Black climbed off the bed and stood near Harry, pulling out the stolen wand again.

The sound of footsteps came closer, up the stairs, and Black growled under his breath, staring at the door.

Then, Harry felt a curse hit him and immeasurable pain spread through him. He screamed, writhing on the floor in agony.

"Black!" a voice shouted.

Harry didn't know if he recognised it or not, clouded as his mind was from the pain.

The pain stopped and Harry blinked toward the man who had come. It was Professor Lupin.

"Professor?" Harry rasped, staring up at him in confusion. How had he found him?

A second wave of pain came, and Harry was barely aware of the sound of yelling.

Then, Harry was lying at Black's feet and Professor Lupin was in the doorway. "Don't come any closer," Black warned, his wand still pointed at a panting Harry.

Harry's eyes found his professor's, and Remus could easily see the pain and fear in them. Those eyes that were so similar to Lily's…

"Please, Black…Sirius, you don't want to do this," Professor Lupin pleaded, his eyes raising to meet his one time friend's.

"I think I do," Black replied.

Professor Lupin frowned. "Please. Just try to remember, Sirius, try to remember those memories that are hidden deep down. Remember James, please," he continued.

Black hesitated for a split second, his eyes glancing downward at Harry.

In that second, Professor Lupin had sent a curse at Black, but Black dodged it, kicking Harry as he went.

Harry grunted in pain, then, seeing Black's distraction, tried to get up.

Black, however, was at his side again in a second, his wand under Harry's chin.

Professor Lupin faltered.

Black sent a curse flying toward Lupin, and Lupin's wand flew across the room, landing on the bed.

Black stood, pulling Harry up with him. His wand was back under Harry's chin.

Knowing there was nothing he could do, Lupin raised his hands in defeat. Black signalled for him to move out of the doorway, and with some hesitance, Lupin did so.

Seeing the pleading in Harry's eyes, Lupin could only send a helpless look back.

Harry looked away, feeling a stab of betrayal. Black pulled him out of the room, and as they reached the hallway, Black apparated away, taking Harry with him.


"He was only three feet away, and Black was torturing him. I couldn't do anything, only watch," Lupin repeated one last time, pain filling his voice at the thought of what he had witnessed earlier that day.

Dumbledore closed his eyes at the thought, envisioning the scene.

McGonagall let out a sob.

"And you have no idea where he took him?" Snape asked, frowning.

Remus shook his head, looking sorrowful.

"I think, it's time to contact the Ministry, Albus," Professor Flitwick suggested.

"Yes. This is out of our hands," Dumbledore agreed.

"Can I take the map?" Remus requested.

Dumbledore nodded absently, and Remus gathered up the map that had been still sitting on the desk. Folding it up, he murmured "Mischief managed," and the printing disappeared.

In silence, he pocketed the map and left the room, images of Black towering over Harry still flitting behind his eyelids.


Harry gasped as he hit the ground hard; Black having released him once they reached their destination.

Looking up, awkwardly, Harry managed to see that they were on a supposedly muggle street, presumably in London. The sky was dark, and no one, besides the pair of them, were out on the streets.

Black reached out, pulled Harry roughly to his feet, and headed toward the closest group of buildings.

As he stumbled along, Harry noticed that they were headed right for the space in between numbers eleven and thirteen, in which there was no house. Confusion set over him.

Then, suddenly, they were on a doorstep.

Black opened the door, using Harry's wand, and shoved Harry in before entering himself. The door clicked closed and locked automatically.

"Twelve Grimmauld Place," Black announced sullenly. "I always hated this house."

Harry's first impression of the house was that is matched Black entirely too well. And then, the portrait started screaming, and Harry realised, as he watched Black utterly destroy the portrait, that Black was actually worse. Much worse.


"It's all my fault," moaned Neville, sitting down across from Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor Table.

"What is?" Ron asked, tiredly.

"That Harry was taken," Neville murmured.

Hermione's head jerked up and Harry's two closest friends stared at Neville.

Neville shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"I heard Professor McGonagall questioning Sir Cadogan. Sirius Black had a whole list of the week's passwords. That was my list, because I can never remember, but I lost it…" he trailed off at their despairing looks.

"Have you told anyone?" Hermione finally asked.

Neville shook his head, looking upset.

"But it's a bit too late, anyway, isn't it?" Ron stated, his voice coming out harsher than normal.

Hermione glared at Ron, but didn't bother to say anything. Neville just looked troubled.

"But you forget. This is Harry Potter we're talking about. He'll come back in no time," commented Dean, who was sitting not too far away.

Hermione and Ron exchanged a worried glance. If only it were that simple…


Harry rubbed his wrists to ease the painful sensation that the robes had caused. Black had, surprisingly, untied him, said, "I'll be back," and then locked him in a room. Harry could only assume he had actually left the house, rather than just the room, but he had no idea why.

With my luck, it'll have something to do with Voldemort, Harry thought as he sat down on the bed. He studied the room. It didn't have a window, and everything in it was covered in a think layer of dust.

Harry was just glad he didn't have allergies, or this would be impossible.

Solemnly, Harry stood up again and started pacing the room, trying to figure out a way to get out of this newfound situation. Much to his frustration, nothing came. He was stuck in the hands of an insane murderer, and there was no way out. He would just have to wait for rescue.

Feeling suddenly very exhausted, Harry went over to the bed and rested on it, though he was worried that Black might get back while he was asleep, he thought it was better to get some sleep while he had the chance. If there were a possibility of him escaping, he would have to be well rested.


"I think he might have taken him to Grimmauld Place," Remus said softly.

"Grimmauld Place? That's…"

"His family home. Where he grew up. Yes, he hated it, but it has the best protection. We won't be able to get in without a lot of man power, the wards are so strong," Remus replied.

The other two men in the room looked hesitant.

"It's our best chance," Dumbledore agreed. "Everywhere else has been searched."

Snape sighed. "And who says he hasn't left the country? The Dark Lord was last seen in Albania. They could be there," he pointed out.

"Let's start close first. If he didn't take Harry to Grimmauld Place, we'll start searching elsewhere," Dumbledore stated.

Snape nodded, though he looked slightly bitter.

Dumbledore turned to Remus. "Remus, if you could start gathering some of the old group. We'll need their help,"

Remus nodded in agreement.

The meeting ended soon after and Remus left the office. As he walked through the nearly empty halls, he was quite surprised to come across a certain pair of Gryffindors.

"Ron. Hermione," he greeted softly, noting that they both look worries and extremely tired. He knew that he didn't look much better.

"Any news?" Hermione asked hopefully.

Remus shook his head, sorrowfully.

Ron and Hermione exchanged discouraged looks.

"We're trying our best. We'll get him back," Remus said, trying to give them back some encouragement.

It didn't seem to work.

Ron and Hermione simply gave him blank looks, then turned and went on their way, leaving him, once again, alone.


Three days, fifteen hours, twenty five minutes, thirty one seconds…thirty two…thirty three…

That was the current count on how long Harry Potter had been missing from Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Taken by the infamous murderer of thirteen, Sirius Black.

The students at Hogwarts were panicking, despite Dumbledore's best efforts to keep them calm. Hermione and Ron had been excused from classes. They were simply too distraught to be taught.

The Ministry had its aurors, and many regular employees, out searching for any sign of Harry Potter.

The Order, too, was searching.

But there was nothing. He was simply…gone.

Hidden away from all of this, in Grimmauld Place, Harry lounged on a bed, bored out of his mind.

He had seen no sign of his kidnapper in all of this time, and he was getting anxious. Not to mention bored. And hungry as well.

The hunger he could deal with. The Dursley had locked him in a room a multiple of times, with no food, for longer periods of time than this.

So when the door to his room came flying open and a harassed looking Sirius Black entered, Harry felt a small measure of relief. At least he wasn't alone anymore.

"The house is under siege. It was nearly impossible for me to apparate back here," Black growled.

Harry stared at him. Under siege? Did that mean the Order or Ministry knew he was here?

"Don't get your hopes up. They won't break in," Black said, eyeing him. He reached into his robes and pulled out a grimy looking bag and tossed it at Harry.

Curiously, Harry opened it. It was filled with what looked like a hamburger and fries, though it wasn't warm, and it smelt nauseating.

Black took a seat on the far side of the room, in a chair and started picking at a long scab on his left calf.

Knowing he probably shouldn't trust any food given to him, Harry sent a cautious look in Black's direction, but the man was clearly occupied.

Hoping that it wasn't poisoned, Harry dug in. After the first bite, he realised just how hungry he really was, and ate with vigour.

After a moment, he noticed that Black was staring at him, and he looked up, returning the stare.

"I'm your Godfather, did you know?" Black stated.

Harry nodded, feeling uncomfortable. Why was he trying to start up a friendly conversation?

"James said I was his best friend. Of course he was going to give the privilege to me. Lily though, she wanted Remus to be the Godfather…"

Sirius looked glum. "He would have been a better one, it turns out."

Harry continued to stare. It was only then that he noticed the stench of alcohol. Evidently, the only reason Black was talking was due to him being drunk.

Black fell silent, though, right after Harry thought this, and Harry looked away from the man, whose expression was troubled.

Silently, Black stood and left the room, leaving the door wide open.

Surprised, Harry stared at it for a long moment before jumping to his feet and going to the open door. Looking out cautiously, he saw that Black wasn't in sight.

Hoping that he might be able to make it out, Harry crept down the stairs. Soon enough, he could see the front door. He jumped down the last steps and ran to the door. Trying to open it proved impossible. It was locked with strong magic. Standing close to the door, he could hear a deep pounding coming from the other side. Going to the window, he peered out from behind a curtain. A large group of wizards were sending spells at the house. Harry saw Dumbledore and Professor Lupin among them.

He waved, frantically, but nobody seemed to see him. And the window wouldn't open, either.

Letting out a frustrated growl, Harry turned. Perhaps there was another exit…

As Harry headed back toward the stairs, he saw, through an open doorway, Black standing near a fireplace, a blank expression on his face.

Curiosity won over caution and Harry entered the room.

Harry didn't think Black even noticed, seeing as he didn't move.

But then, Black spoke.

"I never wanted to, you know,"

Harry froze.

"Betray your parents. I was their friend. I didn't mean it," Black continued.

"Then why did you do it?" Harry asked, not being able to help himself.

"Power. Stupid selfish power," Black replied. He turned then, and looked Harry right in the eye.

"I was captured shortly before you were born. In The Dark Lord's grasp, I was offered simply that. Power. I accepted the Dark Mark without even thinking. Then, I went back to the Order. Nobody ever suspected. The Dark Lord made me a spy. I was very successful. They never even questioned me…" Black sounded mournful.

"He was a brother, and I as good as killed him. And Lily…"

Harry glared. Power. Of course.

"But I've discovered that's not all it's cracked up to be. Azkaban changes you," Black turned away and slumped down on the couch, looking defeated.

"Then why do you want me?" Harry asked, genuinely curious. Black had done nothing really with him yet, and it had been several days, as far as he could tell.

"To raise the Dark Lord, of course. I have to go back, or I'd be killed, and only Merlin knows what James and Lily would do to me then. To their betrayer."

Harry frowned. "But you don't have to. You don't have to raise him up again," Harry tried to reason.

"No!" Black yelled, jumping to his feet again.

Harry stumbled backwards in alarm.

"I have to," Black stated firmly.

Black crumpled on the floor then, sobbing terribly and Harry could only stare at the man. It was a horrible sight.

A loud bang rang from the other room and voices suddenly filled the place, though Sirius didn't move.

"Harry?"

Harry turned in time to see a relieved Remus Lupin enter the room and pull him into a hug.

Harry didn't even time to think about how strange it was for his teacher to be hugging him before Lupin had already pulled away.

"Thank Merlin you're all right," Lupin muttered, checking Harry over.

Loud cries of protest came from the far side of the room, and both looked over to see Sirius being pulled off the floor and restrained.

"No! No! I'm sorry, Harry! Remus!" Sirius cried, even as a pair of aurors dragged him out of the room.

Harry shivered slightly at the sight, and Lupin sighed.

"Come on, Harry, let's get you back to the castle," Professor Lupin stated.

Harry nodded numbly. It was over. All over.


"Harry!"

"Harry!"

Identical voices cried out his name. Harry looked up to see Ron and Hermione rushing toward his bed in the hospital wing.

Seconds later, they had pulled him into a hug.

From a few yards away, Remus watched, his expression wistful as he stared at the overjoyed trio. It reminded him painfully of the old days with his own friends.

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

Now they were split up. Two dead, one soulless, and the last all alone.

Remus could only hope that would never happen to Harry and his friends.


A/N - Okay, I know that Sirius really truly being the bad guy is an idea that many people shrink away from, but this idea came to me one night while I was rereading the third book and I decided that I should write it. Reviews will be greatly appreciated.