Pity…

That it has to be this way.

 I really wanted us to end differently, Subaru-kun. Sometimes I wish we weren't pawns of fate. If you were not the Sumeragi head but only an innocent child, and I was not the heartless Sakurazukamori but merely a happy man, then we could be free to do as we wish.  If we were not twin stars on opposite sides, we could be free.

But then again, wishing never got us anywhere, did it?

We were always playing a game, were we not? The game of life: the predator and the prey. It is a dangerous game, Subaru-kun, especially so because I am the predator. Yet you survived. How? You hardly have the power to hold out against me… I could toy with you all I want, leave you like a broken doll and never come back to pick up your pieces. But I always did. So I suppose, in a sense, I spared you.

I had the power to let you live.

Let us make a bet. When you are ready, we will live together for one year, and if you cannot make me love you by the end of the year, I will kill you.

Remember, Subaru-kun? You were perfect: so innocent, beautiful, and powerful; a dangerous combination, that is. You were also the Thirteenth Head of the Sumeragi Clan. Was that what triggered my mind to make the bet? Maybe. I suppose the bet itself took place because you intrigued me, like a puzzle. But it could have just been my morbid fascination with corrupting the innocence of others and shattering dreams. Or perhaps it was because I truly wanted to feel…

I don't even know.

The smell of sakura petals, blood, and cigarettes blended together, to form a scent entirely his own- a scent that holds Subaru captive for many years to come.

You amused me greatly, Subaru-kun. To witness your embarrassment and shyness every time I said or did something unexpected. It became my obsession, to play those little mind-games with you. To drop little hints of who I really am, to lead you on and offer you something I won't give, to send you to heaven for one second and condemn you to hell in the next.

You didn't suspect a thing.

The blood of the bodies buried under this Tree stains its petals red. The colour of blood.

Then it escalated. My obsession turned from these innocent games to YOU. Everything you did, everything you said, was recorded in my memory to be stored in a little book of everything about you. At first it was fine: you went on in ignorant happiness, and I received satisfaction from watching you. But then the morbid part of my mind started churning: I wondered what would happen if I hurt you. Would you still be the trusting child you were? Would you lose your sanity if I took away the most important thing to you?

Would you still love me?

Don't they hurt? The bodies under the tree, I mean. Aren't they in pain?

I fascinated you too, didn't I, Subaru-kun? I with the polite and sophisticated young man with the charm, the charisma, the looks, the mysteriousness. I was well off, with a secure job as a veterinarian. I was the perfect gentleman: courteous and generous. I played my part perfectly. I was always a good actor. You fell in love with me. Of course, I had expected that. What I had not expected was to actually feel the impulse to protect you.

And to be with you.

Inside the hospital, all was silent. Subaru sat alone in a corner, shaking uncontrollably. Seishirou-san was inside the emergency room right now, because of him.

You felt very guilty after I lost my eye, Subaru-kun. I could sense your guilt and remorse a mile away. That captivated me even further. What was the source of your guilt? I lost the eye protecting you, and it was out of my own choice. I promised to protect you under all circumstances when we made the bet, and I couldn't just stand there and watch you be killed. I'd rather lose an eye that let you be hurt. But that's protectiveness, not love.

I'm still winning.

His hand plunged through her chest. Those piercing green eyes, identical to Subaru's, widened. First in pain, then in calm, and at last acceptance. Her last sentence rang in his ears.

Thank you, Sei-chan.

I would not have killed Hokuto if she had not asked me to, Subaru-kun. I did not want to kill her. Sure, I entertained the thought sometimes: what if I took your sister away from you? What if I took the two most precious people in your life away? What would happen? But I never would have done it if she had not asked, pleaded me to. She shocked me. Why is it that she wanted to sacrifice herself for you? It's the same reason I lost my eye, I suppose.

We would both do anything for you.

You are a Dragon of Heaven, to protect and preserve mankind. I am a Dragon of Earth, and I will destroy all you are fighting to protect. We are twin stars. It goes on.

We were opposites, Subaru-kun. We ARE opposites. Light and dark, day and night, innocence and corruption, an angel and a demon. That just became clearer when we both took up our roles as Dragons. It amused me to no end when I realized that we were twin stars. It still shocked me a little for some reason, because I had expected it.  Our little game escalated to a new level, and the fate of mankind now could be affected by us.

I take pride in being the cause for your falling from grace.

Seishirou stared. Was this the innocent and beautiful child whose radiance of power caught his eyes nearly a decade ago? Subaru took a drag on his cigarette.

Two can play at this game, Seishirou-san.

I used to know you so well, Subaru-kun. You were such a transparent person, and you could never keep any secrets. Your eyes betrayed everything. That was nine years ago. You have changed a lot, but the most significant change is your eyes. Those piercing green orbs are now covered by a layer of grey, shielding your thoughts and emotions from me. Another thing that caught my attention was the cigarette in your hand. It amused me; you always find a new way to amuse me.

Trying to become me is not going to help you win.

I fulfill Wishes, Sumeragi. It is part of my power as the Kamui. And I see your Wish. It will be fulfilled. Blood poured down Subaru's face as he screamed. Yet he thanked Fuuma, for balancing the scales.

You have no idea how furious I was with Fuuma, Subaru-kun. I wanted to kill him for doing that to you, even though he is the Kamui of the Dragons of the Earth, even though he was so much more powerful than me. Would you believe that he came sauntering in through the doors with that irritating maniacal smirk on his face, and his hands dripping blood? Only the Sakurazukamori should be entitled to have that effect. He came up to me, looking calm and evil, and told me your Wish has been fulfilled.

For the first time in my life, I was scared- for you.

Our game continues, Subaru-kun. It will never end; it will go on, forever and ever...

Ah, Seishirou-san, forever means nothing to me anymore. Time lost its meaning when you took away my world.

Ah, that was your unspoken challenge to me, was it not, Subaru-kun? I suppose that gave you the strength to continue. Still, it does not matter. I will win in the end anyways. After all, the scales are not even: for you to win our game, all you need to have gained is my love; but for me to win, you would be living in a nightmare worse than death. I would torture you endlessly to satisfy my own wonders: to see when your faith in goodness and your love for me will end. Not that I ever wanted to hurt you, of course. But I always ended up making you cry.

I never would choose to hurt you, but I always do.

Seishirou-san. Soon, it will be the final battle between us. Again, you have the power over my life. Let me live in the deadened state that I am, or kill me and make me happy for the last time. It's entirely your choice. I'm yours, to keep or to destroy, as I always have been.

That was your victory, Subaru-kun, whether you know it or not. To have stunned me into shocked silence and to have the power to walk away for once, that was all you ever wanted. To give me a taste of my own medicine. For once, only once in the entire 10 years playing our dangerous games, you won. You showed me how much being walked away from hurt. Only then did I realize that this was over, and YOU had the power to walk away and say that you've had enough. I was the one left alone. You are not going to come back, begging me to love you.

I may have won the battles, but you won the war.

They stood there on Rainbow Bridge, looking at each other. So different, yet so alike. Twin stars, like black and white, contrasting and complementing each other. This ends now.

Everything came surging back to me when I saw you, Subaru-kun. All those emotions and feelings and thoughts that tangled themselves up in my head and tried to drive me insane, nearly knocked me out when I saw you again. Why do you suddenly have this effect on me? I'm supposed to be the one in control.. How is it that you broke the Seal of the Sakurazukamori? How are you both my curse and my salvation at the same time? I hate you.

No, I don't.

Go on, Seishirou-san, kill me. Do what you set out to do nine years ago. You can finish what you started right now, without a fight. I want you to do this.

I'm not in control of myself anymore, Subaru-kun. My entire body is racing. My thoughts, feelings, everything, they're rushing out of me, trying to get out. I wanted to save you, protect you, have you, be with you, kill you, hate you, hurt you, all at the same time. I want you, more than anything else; but you're the angel I can never reach, even though I did bring you down, cause you to fall from grace. I'm losing my sanity, I'm on the brink of my conscience, and the only thought I can hang on to is that I must save you from myself. But the only way to save you is to hurt you, one last time.

I apologize for everything I have done.

He reached out with a malicious smile on his face. Always the perfect actor. Subaru anticipated the impact and the pain… but only emptiness came. He opens his eyes and smiles…

Thank you, Hokuto.

I can hear my heartbeat, Subaru-kun. And I can feel your heart beat with me, your tears rain pouring down your face and drowning me as my blood pours out and drowns you. Even at the end, I win. Even though I don't live, you suffer more than I do. Even though you have my love, I have the last laugh. I wanted to smile in satisfaction, but then I realized that watching you suffer is not what I want.

I'm sorry I told you the truth. It hurt you more than all my lies.

"Subaru-kun, I love you."

Those were my last words to you.

Pity…

That they came too late.