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Chapter One: A Pensive Severus

'Good Bye Severus,' Lily turned her back on him, she sighed and climbed back through the portrait hole. The click of the portrait closing, told Severus he was alone. He sunk to the ground. How could things of gone so wrong? What had he done to turn beautiful, kind Lily Evans against him? Of course, he new the answer to that, Snape thought bitterly. The Dark Lord... He had chosen the dark path over the light one Lily had shown him. Severus sighed, closing his tired, black eyes.

He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, crouched uncomfortably against the wall, or when he had come to this conclusion. However it was clear to him now, he may have lost Lily's trust and friendship, he may have hurt her by calling her a mud- that, but never again would he harm her... let anyone harm her. It was clear to him now, his path in life... he would protect Lily's life with his own, protect her from right underneath the nose of the Dark Lord.

Severus must have fallen asleep, because he found himself being shaken, none to kindly, awake by Lily's best friend, Alice Prewett.
'Leave now Snape, and stay away from her, you've done enough damage already.' Severus nodded, and climbed to his feet. She was right, now was not the time to try and talk to Lily again. Once Alice had disappeared into the common room, he turned around and started to way towards the dungeons. Alice wasn't like Lily's other friends, McKinnon and Jones; she had been willing to be civil towards Severus and had tried to see the good in him like Lily had.

How could he have messed up so badly? He wanted to believe, that one stupid word had done this and they could go back to being friends. But he and Lily had been drifting apart for ages, and then Lily had found him talking to Malfoy and Avery about joining him... Voldemort, he forced himself to think the name. She had given him one more chance to change and they went back to being friends. It wasn't the same though, they each had different friends now, and she didn't approve of his. Then yesterday, by saying that forbidden word, he had broken the last thread holding them together.

Severus muttered the password and climbed in to the common room. He spotted Lucius Malfoy lounging across one of the largest chairs. The candle light making his high cheek-boned face appear waxy and dull.

'Ah, Snape, we were wondering where you had gotten to,' Malfoy drawled, a few of the other Slytherins situated around the fire looked up lazily. 'Had us worried for a little while, thought you were off with the mudblood,' Severus filched at the name; Malfoy didn't seem to notice anything though. 'You weren't with her, were you?' Maybe Malfoy had seen him flinch; Malfoy's face mirrored one of disgust.

'No – er – ofcourse not, no I definitely wasn't with the – ah – mudblood,' Severus tried to cover the hurt in his voice with a sneer.

'Well come and sit down, why don't you tell us all about the "incident" by the lake?' Malfoy asked, gesturing to the seat next to him. Some of the others Slytherins snickered, the younger ones, giving Malfoy their full attention. 'Though in all seriousness, it's good to see you've finally gotten over that little mudblood crush of yours,' Malfoy spat. Severus just nodded his head, gazing deep into the fire. 'We wouldn't want another bloodtrator would we?' Malfoy added as an after thought, his voice still harsh and arrogant. Severus composed his face into an emotionless mask and looked back at Malfoy.

'Definitely not Malfoy, I can't believe you would think so low of me.'

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