Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass

Bond

Chapter 1: Lelouch's PoV

"Don't fall in love with me." A pang of hurt hit him. "I wont." He ended his day with those lie. It's far more easy to love the one who loved you than made someone-you-loved love you back. But It's human nature to want to be loved by someone he/she loved, wasn't it?

In the morning, it was Shirley's smile that woke him up.

Lelouch lied on his bed, feel tired already in the beginning of fresh morning.

Because the one that woke him up wasn't her warm common smile that used to help him eased his days as a living corpse back then, days as Lelouch Lamperouge.

But, it's too late for him to regret that. For he already lost her. And he still have to move foward.

But what has been done was done. And what should be done have to be done.

So he stood still in his indifferent as she leaved him.

All he managed to do was quitely whispering his goodbye to his only Q-1. Far enough from her hearing distance.

It's her baggie white clothes which caught his attention first in the middle of meadow hill.

He stood still in his way as he saw those black strain and her green locks waved by gentle wind.

He step foward and he know that she knew his present without necessity to look his coming.

He depised her. That's true. For what she had done to Mao and other people she made contract with. For her selfish act. Because she ignored other's pain as long as that didn't affect her goal. For what she had schemed with his parent.

He wanted to eradicate her. That's true. For her being source of Geass. The source of pain and chaos, drag the world to war. The reason of why he had to killed Euphy, why the people around him suffering, furthermore, make Shirley suffer till her death.

But still, as he arrived at her side, she didn't look at him even once. She still look at the distance. As if she would gone any time, to the place he couldn't reach. And her great wish rang in his mind.

It's same as when he saw Mao was going to mutilated her alive, as when he saw her countless painfull deaths, as when he saw her tears, as when he saw his father was going to took her code—her chance to live, as when he saw her blood leak out from her ring finger.

It took out all air in his lungs. It spread frozen blood from his heart to his fingertips. All reason gone. His mind almost blank.

Instinctive, he reached out his hand, grab her arm in hasty move. Turned her to face him. Desperately, because he felt that his life depend on it.

Worried-frustated-violets meets impassive goldens. Was she still long for that wish? He want her to look at him, at his concern for her, at how much he cared about her. To bound her to him, or live—whichever, because he didn't knew which one he wanted most or which one was worse—as long as she wouldn't go.

"Smile for me," he asked, no, he demanded. At least he has won over Sniezel and his Damocles, hasn't he? He have right for such demand, doesn't he?

Her slender fingers trail his forehead, down to his cheek, his jaw line, his neck out line, his shoulder, his arm, and end on his fingers. Her eyes followed her fingers. Tried to relaxed his stern pulses and nerves while she did so.

Then she lift her gaze to meets his. A ghost smile formed on her lips, but it was her sincere smile that reach her eyes. Made its gleaming gently.

At that moment, he couldn't hold a droplet of water trail his cheek from his eyes. He so didn't want to lose her that it suffocating him.

Damn her! What did she had done to him? What did he has done? He let her to be by his side till the end. Endangered her when Zero's Requime ended. But as much as he wanted to protect her, he couldn't manage to push her aside as he did to Nunnaly, Kallen, Rivalz, Milly, Nina and other precious people of his.

It's always girls who chase for his affection, his love. Shirley always be there, her smile help him countless time to eased his day.

As he longing for her common smile, remembered how much important that person's smile had been in his live and how he lost it, it's easy to believed that she's much important for him.

And everytime he recalled her last smile as she promised to love him again and again every times she born. Her broken smile as her eyes promised unbreakeable feeling, it's easy to believed that maybe he really did love her.

Back then as his lips meet Kallen's, he shocked. It'd be lie to said his heart not raced, but he keep his composure.

As Kalllen drew herself back, he finnaly could look at her wavering eyes. Then he realize how often she looked at him with those kind of eyes.

Her goodbye word that said with shaken voices make him realized , for the first time, how much she loved him. And that time he believed that he really didn't want to lose her. Her adoration, her respect, her loyalty, her passionate loving eyes for him.

But C.C. always kept her distance, or worse—pushed him away. It's always him who calling out, reach out, and ran after her. It's always him who fight (precisely scheming) for stole her from the other.

She was the worse lover possible be. But there he was, his heart crushed by the feeling he had for her.

No matter how she was, what she had, or what she did, he simple wanted her be by his side. He couldn't help that desire, even though it would hurt her or himself. And once that desire surfaced, he found it always overwhelming other feeling and all his logic.

The bond was just too strong. And as he feel C.C.'s fingers wiped his tears, he smirk. He sworn to let it be. So that there would be no one could separate them. Not even death.

—End of Chapter1—

AN/: That's it. I tried to describe how humanly is longing of love and the dark side of love while tried to graps Lelouch's character. Did it work? It didn't? Is there any OOC? Is it stereotype? Repetitive? Is it boring or dificult to read? Is my English messed up?

It's almost 2 years that I didn't use English and I wrote it while check on dictionary (where I found awesome definitions of 'care' , which reactivated my fangirl soul and make it squeal in delight, when I remember wiki said Lelouch is the first human that really care about C.C.), but still...

Anyway, chapter 2 will contain C.C.'s PoV. R&R, please?

Regard,

E. Cristagalli