A/N: This will be a Jibbs two-shot. First part takes place in Paris, right after Jenny left Gibbs. Second part will take place after she's become Director. Lyrics in part one is "What about love?" by Meat Loaf and part two will contain lyrics from "It's all coming back to me" also by Meat Loaf, which btw is the most Jibbsy song I'v ever heard. Enjoy and please review, second part will be up shortly, I hope! Thanks. Paris, 1999.
There's a hole in the sky tonight
There the moon drift to far from sight
I would search thru this empty darkness
To see your face in the morning light
Gibbs rolled over in bed, the sheets pooling around his waist and he threw out and arm across the bed, expecting to find a woman's body and hoping to be able to draw her closer to him, because he was freezing and was already longing to feel her bare skin against his. His hand gripped empty sheets. Cracking one eye, his eyes searched the other side of the bed, but found no redhead. Confusion tugged at his sleepy mind. Was she maybe in the bathroom?
It took him a couple of seconds to realize there was no light coming from the crack between the floor and the bathroom door. Another couple of seconds before he remembered yesterday.
Yesterday. The day she left.
He cursed loudly as he threw the sheets back and jumped to his feet, only to end up standing in the middle of the dark hotel room, wondering what the hell he had been thinking about doing. He ran his hand through his hair. He glanced at the pile of his discarded clothes, fighting the urge to put them on and chase after her. He snorted, knowing she was already long gone, probably on a plane somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean.
Dressed in the sweatpants and T-shirt he had slept in, he wrenched open the balcony doors and let the cool air of the Parisian night sweep over him. He was feeling unusually warm and sticky with sweat, not quite used to sleeping with so much clothing on seeing as he'd always had Jenny's body pressed to his every night, and she warmed him a little more than a lot, in more ways he'd cared to admit.
He cursed again as he stepped out onto the small balcony overlooking the city of Paris. If he'd only let her know just how much she meant to him, would she have reconsidered her choice to leave him? If he'd told her about his wife and daughter, would it have made a difference? If he'd asked her to marry him, would she have said yes?
Probably not.
He leaned his arms against the rail of the balcony and stared up at the lazy blinking of an airplane high up against the pitch black sky.
We've been lost in a sea of confusion
Got caught up in a selfish illusion
But make no mistake: I will bend till I break
Don't let fate make the choice for us
They'd shared so much, made so many memories together. Marseilles. London. Serbia. Positano. So many places they'd gone to, so much time spent in each others company. Maybe it had been selfish of them to get this much involved with each other, they were out on a work mission after all. She was all too easy to be distracted by, but he had enough self-control to detach himself when they were on duty. When they were not on duty, on the other hand…
He'd offered her everything he was as a man, and she'd taken it all, and more. He still remembered the first time she'd told him she'd loved him. Or, there were some things he remembered particularly well about that day. He remembered those three words leaving her lips, remembered he gave some witty reply before he claimed her lips with his. But, what he remembered the most was that night, when he'd made love to her like never before. Now, when he knew she loved him, he figured he had no reason to hold back and he didn't either.
He wondered briefly if it hadn't been selfish of him to think they could really get something real out of this. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
His hands gripped tightly around the rail, mad at himself for not letting her know just how much he loved her. But would that really have made a difference? If it was something he'd learned about Jenny Shepard, it was that when she'd made up her mind, her mind was made up. Sometimes he thought she'd gotten just a little too much like him.
"Damn it Jenny! I love you," he whispered out into the Parisian night, knowing no one heard him, but still, he'd put it out there. Only, he knew he was too late.
What about love that lasts forever? What about love? Once in a lifetime you'll find someone heaven send for you
What about time to see it through?
If you don't give you just don't get it
What about me?
What about you?
For a lifetime you'll feel there's a reason to believe
In a love that's meant to be
Jenny Shepard stared out through the small window of the plane she was in, thousands of feet below somewhere was the hotel where Gibbs was probably asleep right now. She suddenly became strangely aware of the tears having started to run down her cheeks, she didn't try to stop them.
Her thoughts inevitably wandered to the man she'd just left behind, and it made her smile through her tears. She had never meant to fall in love with him, but by the time she'd realized she had totally and helplessly fallen for him, it had been too late to pull back. She'd had her experiences with men, none of them had lasted very long. And unfortunately, it was the same with Gibbs. But the feelings were different. Now, where she sat on the plane, she knew she'd met her one true love.
There had been a moment in their time together she'd believed in them. Believed he loved her like she loved him. Believed that their love was meant to be.
She was roused from her thoughts by a stewardess selling drinks. She noticed the tears on Jenny's cheeks.
"You ok, dear?" she asked worriedly while receiving payment from the passenger next to her.
Jenny forced a smile and nodded.
"I'm fine, thank you." She lied.
The stewardess regarded her for a little while longer.
"If you say so," she finally said. "Want something to drink?"
Jenny looked at what she had to offer.
"Coffee, thanks," she replied and seconds later she had the wanted cup before her. Clutching the cup in her hand, she turned back to stare out the window at the small lights of the city below. She was leaving him behind, just like she was leaving Paris. And she was already regretting her choice. But he hadn't proved enough to her to convince her to stay. Much as she'd loved him, she wasn't sure he felt the same, felt as strongly as she did. But maybe he did, she still remembered all the nights they'd spent together, but one night particularly, the night on the day she'd told him she loved him for the first time. That night was unforgettable.
But the one thing that had made her doubt his feelings was that he had let her go, his efforts to stop her from walking out that door had not been enough to convince her to stay.
She sipped her coffee, knowing she wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway. The tears kept running, and her thoughts remained focused on her ex-lover, knowing, she would never really stop loving him.
Forever means nothing
To live without you
Is reaching for something that never comes through
Together is heaven
Apart we're in hell
The time for forgiveness is now