Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Summary: When Remus is late getting back from a mission one night, Sirius get's anxious despite Lily's attempts at comfort. Smut, Oneshot, Slash.

Warnings: Male on male sex.

Boy Loves Boy

"Padfoot, man, you have got to stop pacing!" James tugged at his hair in frustration while his hazel eyes shot daggers at Sirius.

Halting mid-step Sirius looked back to James with bloodshot eyes, his usually silky black hair sticking up in odd directions on his head "I can't stop, Prongs. Remus is late! Aren't you nervous?"

James let his head slam into the wooden table he was sitting by, it was at least the sixth time Sirius had asked him that "No. We're all late getting back from missions all the time, it happens. Hell you were five hours late today! And you're fine." James paused thoughtfully "Well, you're a little mental, but what else is new."

He didn't get the laugh out of Sirius that he had hoped for, so he sighed and tried to calm Sirius down once again "Remus can handle himself out there. He's a badass werewolf for Merlin's sake." Again James paused. Courteous, polite-to-the-core, poetry reciting Remus wasn't exactly badass, but he couldn't very well say that to Sirius in the state he was in.

When Sirius simply continued pacing back and forth by the front door to the Potter Mansion, that housed the Order Of The Phoenix, James stood up and hastily pushed his chair back in aggravation "Alright, I'm going to get Lily and some Butterbeers, maybe that'll calm you down." Sirius could've sworn he heard James adding in a murmur "And if not, at least she doesn't feel bad about hexing you." as he left.

Exhausted Sirius leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor, his head resting in his hands. He had been up for almost twenty-four hours straight and had come back so late from his own mission that he hadn't had time to see Remus before he had left on a different mission.

So instead of going straight to bed like he had planned on he had decided to wait, restlessly trying to divert his attention until eleven o'clock this night when Remus was scheduled to come back from his surveillance shift. But Remus hadn't come home yet, and Sirius was getting more nervous, and more tired.

James would become suspicious soon; hell he was already annoyed with him. But no one knew of how close a relationship Sirius and Remus really shared. Except maybe Dumbledore, Sirius thought, he has a way of knowing things. The two were no longer just friends, and images of his lover dead and tortured filled Sirius' mind every time he closed his eyes for a bit. So he rubbed them with the back of his hand and tried to look alert.

Suddenly a ruffled, tired looking Lily entered the room and immediately sunk down onto the chair James had vacated earlier. She was in a white, cotton nightgown with thin straps that stopped just above her knees and her amber hair was as big a mess as Sirius'.

"Hi Lily." he greeted softly, fighting to stay awake.

Lily groaned in response, having clearly been asleep few moments before. James came back into the room and handed Sirius a bottle of Butterbeer before pulling another chair close to Lily and giving her a bottle as well. To Sirius' amusement Lily kicked James in the shin and he watched his friend whimper in pain as he rubbed his leg "I told you I'm sorry I woke you up Lil'."

"I know, but I don't care, you still woke me up." Lily took a sip and glared at James in much the same way James had been glaring at Sirius earlier.

James cowered under her gaze and tried to get back in her good graces by placing both of Lily's delicate ballerina feet on his knees and gently massaging one "Forgive me? Please?" he begged, jutting out his bottom lip adorably.

Lily rolled her eyes, but she had already forgiven him. So she turned her attention to Sirius "You look like crap." she told him.

"Thanks." Sirius sarcastically gave Lily the thumbs-up while trying to work up some energy to think of witty retort. Instead he felt his eyes once again drift back to the clock on the wall. He wringed his hands nervously.

Lily wriggled her toes happily as James had finished massaging one foot and went on to the other "Why are we up anyways?" she asked after a while of silence, with no other sounds than the ticking clock which were driving Sirius crazy.

"Well," James began "I'm up because I have to replace Remus at surveillance duty at the ministry, you're up because you love me and didn't want me to have to wait alone, thank you honey by the way, that was very considerate of you," Lily grinned "and Sirius is up because he didn't want me to remain sane." Sirius had started pacing again.

"Remus should've been back almost an hour and a half ago." Sirius told Lily shortly at her confused look.

"So? He's a bit late, it happens to all of us." She mirrored James' reply from earlier. When Sirius said nothing, but just continued pacing Lily tugged her foot away from James, got up and gently put her hand on Sirius' shoulder "Listen Sirius, you're exhausted, okay. You should get some sleep. I'll wait up with James and tell Remus to wake you when he get's home so you know he's okay."

Sirius was tempted for a second to agree, to dive into oblivion and get away from the gut-wrenching worrying he was doing, but he shook his head. He couldn't close his eyes and endure the mental images of Remus, hurt and bleeding at the mercy of some Death Eater.

"I'm staying here until he comes back." Sirius fisted his hands decidedly and went back to pacing, ignoring the way James' questioning eyes burned on his back.

"What is going on with you Padfoot?" James began, even though he had noticed how pointedly Sirius was ignoring him "Last week when Marlene McKinnon was captured you were the one who told all of us it would be okay. You kept all of us believing right up until we were told she had been rescued. Remus is just late from surveillance duty, and you know how he is!" James had raised his voice slightly "He's probably writing a detailed report on every single noise or leaf that moved. Why can't you have faith now like you had last week?"

Sirius sunk down to the floor again, peering at James through his fingers that covered his handsome face "Because. Because it's Remus."

There was a short silence between all three of them while Lily's eyed flickered between Sirius and James. "I know Sirius. It's Remus. He's my friend too. And that's why you have to stay positive." James insisted stubbornly.

Lily saw the tears that threatened to fill Sirius' eyes and walked over to James "Sweets, I have a Dreamless Sleep potion somewhere in my room, can you go get it? I'll get Sirius to bed." James nodded and left the room.

Walking directly over to Sirius Lily sat down in front of him and enveloped his much larger body in her soft, slim arms. At first he was tense, but she continued stroking her fingertips over his back and eventually he relaxed against her.

"Come on," Lily whispered after a little while and started leading Sirius toward the bedroom that used to be his, but that he now shared with Remus after the Potter Mansion had become The Order's headquarters.

Numbly Sirius followed her still holding back the tears from his worry and absolute fatigue. Once in his room Lily began drawing the curtains closed as Sirius unabashed stripped down to his blue silk boxers and sat on the edge of his bed.

Lily sat next to him and put a hand on his back. The bed covers were messy while Remus' bed was immaculately made. The book Remus was currently reading was lying on Sirius' cluttered nightstand instead of on his own which was completely empty. She decided to voice her suspicion.

"Sirius?" he looked up at her with a blurry vision and Lily rested her forehead against his "You and Remus are … together aren't you?" up close she could see how Sirius grey eyes widened.

"Does James know?" he whispered hoarsely.

Lily pulled back and shook her head "No. Well, maybe deep down he suspects, but remember how annoyed you were with me in the beginning of me and James' relationship because you had to share him?" Sirius nodded "Well, James doesn't want things to change again now that they're back to normal. He'll come around though; I'll make sure of it." She gave Sirius a little smile.

Even though Sirius was relieved someone finally knew, and that there seemed to be a way to tell James, he couldn't keep the tears from finally falling and his body shook at the violent sobs he let out. Lily immediately wrapped her arms around him again.

"Ssh, Sirius, ssh. It's going to be alright, everything will be just fine." she chanted in a soothing voice, rocking Sirius back and forth like he was a baby. She felt warm and petite against him, nothing like Remus, but it still brought Sirius some comfort.

They stayed that way until James knocked on the door and came in with the Dreamless Sleep potion he had finally found. Gratefully Sirius drank it and told his two friends goodnight, before sinking into much welcomed oblivion.

0o0

"Remus!" Sirius jerked upright in his bed, his hair a silky mess on his head, his eyes squinted because of the bright sunlight that filled the room now and his legs already swung over the side of the bed.

Remus had only just opened the door when Sirius had woken up. He smiled his gentle smile while closing the door behind him and shrugging out of his brown jacket "Morning, Padfoot."

"Where have you been?!" Sirius nearly yelled and felt annoyed when Remus hushed him and quickly put a silencing spell on the room "You're going to wake everybody up." He'd taken off his shoes and socks as well and sat on the foot of the bed.

Sirius rubbed his eyes "I don't care," he huffed childishly "tell me where you've been, I was so worried Moony!"

Remus' pale, green eyes filled with tenderness "I'm sorry you worried, but the report took longer than expected and Dumbledore offered me to spend the night, so I crashed on his couch." he unbuttoned his shirt that was wrinkled after he'd had to sleep in it. Several scars grazed his chest.

"Well you could've sent an owl!" Sirius insisted on the edge of hysteria, all of his worrying from the night before definitely not forgotten.

"I did." Remus frowned "And Lily sent him back, saying you had just gotten to bed and she didn't wanna wake you because you were so exhausted. She sounded worried about you, are you okay?" Remus put his palm on Sirius' rough cheek and looked deep into his eyes.

Sirius was used to being the most nonchalant, and definitely most macho, of the two, but after his scare last night all he could do was crawl across the bed, pulling Remus into a tight embrace and hiding his face near his lover's throat.

"Now I am, but you have no idea how scared I was for you Remus. I missed you so much." he pressed warm, fleeting kisses to Remus' skin and he got a low growl in return "I thought I was going to lose you." Sirius' kisses moved up to Remus' cheek and over his forehead, where he lingered and continued in a whisper "I'm not ready for this."

Remus swallowed audibly and tangled his long fingers in Sirius' hair "Ready for what?" he whispered back, their legs as tangled as Sirius' hair around Remus' fingers.

"For being this in love with you." Sirius sighed before catching Remus' lips with his own in a kiss that started out slow and gentle, but soon turned more rough and passionate as Sirius bit lightly on Remus' bottom lip.

They lay down on the bed in each other's arms, their lips not leaving the other's until they had to gasp for air. Remus caressed Sirius' earlobe as they took a moment to look at each other appreciatively "I'm sorry you were so worried." he said, kissing Sirius' left eyebrow. On impulse he kissed the right one as well.

Sirius shrugged "That's just another damn side effect of this effing war, isn't it? Being away from the people you love?" he held one of Remus' hands between his own, studying each long finger and drawing circles on his palm.

Remus shuffled closer to Sirius and nodded sadly "Yeah. But in another way it also brings us emotionally closer to the people we love. I mean, it did for us." he let each of his fingertips match Sirius'.

"But then again you have been horny for me for years." Sirius stated bluntly, getting back to his usual self.

Remus' lips twitched "Indeed."

Sirius undid his lover's pants and pulled them off, so Remus was left wearing nothing but his black, cotton briefs. Remus bit back a chuckle when Sirius pressed even closer to him; Sirius was addicted to being naked. And not always in a sexual way, but skin against skin was the best way to comfort him.

Light brown hair fell into his eyes as Remus studied and compared the two of them. His own chest was narrow, muscled, but not very defined; where as Sirius' chest was broader, toned with muscles and hard. He was much more man, where Remus leaned more towards boyish.

But Sirius looked younger by his face though, his long black hair framing his face that was unfairly and devastatingly beautiful. Remus knew his cheekbones stood out, making his face a little hollow and that even without the full moon tearing at him, he would never be considered beautiful the way Sirius was. He always fell under the cute category.

It no longer mattered to him, if Sirius loved him, what else could be of more importance?

Sirius rubbed his foot against the calf of Remus as he licked along a thin, white scar almost following the line of one of Remus' ribs. He couldn't help but compare Lily's comfort last night to what Remus was doing to him now.

She hadn't been hard against his chest, but soft and so petite, she wasn't strong. Her skin against his as she had rocked him back and forth had been nice, but he wanted to be naked with Remus for very different reasons.

"Sirius, no!" Remus insisted with a husky voice as Sirius' lips latched on to yet another scar, kissing and licking relentlessly while Remus lightly tried to push his head away. Finally he succeeded.

"What's the matter?" Sirius demanded, biting Remus' shoulder a little punishing, a little loving.

Remus sighed and let his finger run down the scar Sirius had just lavished with pleasuring attention "They're horrible. Ugly. I'm ugly." his low tone made it sound like a confession.

Sirius merely rolled his eyes and sat up in the bed "Basically these are scars too," he gestured towards the intricate tattoos on his own chest "am I also ugly then?"

Remus would've protested. Explained that the two things were in no way similar, but he knew Sirius well enough to foresee that Sirius would never let it go until Remus had agreed with him so he dropped the argument straight away "No. Definitely not ugly."

Sirius' smile showed that he was clearly pleased with himself and he lay down again, his mouth already searching for something else to kiss "My wolf boy." he muttered, kissing circles around Remus' navel.

Remus smiled, he couldn't help it, because he just loved it when Sirius called him that. It made it seem like his 'other persona' was cute and cuddly instead of horrifying and dangerous.

He felt himself harden painfully fast when Sirius' mouth had moved lower and was now hovering around the edge of the elastic waistband of his briefs.

"I want you too Moony." Sirius rasped desperately and began removing his boxers while Remus shed himself of his last piece of clothing. Sirius' cock sprang to life at the delicious sight of Remus splayed out naked on the bed in front of him, hard and ready.

Sirius softly kissed the tip of Remus' erection, before he felt slender hands close around his upper arms pulling him so he was face to face with his wolf boy. Remus greedily kissed him, sucking Sirius tongue into his mouth and massaging it with his own, causing shocks of pleasure to shoot into Sirius' groin.

One of Sirius' hands slid up behind Remus' neck and held his head in place so they kept kissing while his other hand made its way down Remus' lean body before he closed his fist around Remus' throbbing erection.

Remus gasped loudly against Sirius' lips and was happy he had put the silencing spell on the room earlier. He arched his back, thrusting his pelvis towards Sirius' body and closed his eyes in pleasure "Sirius." he moaned.

"Yes?" Sirius answered, squeezing lightly and feeling Remus' hardness twitch in his hand.

Remus shuddered "So good!" he stuttered and cupped Sirius' sack causing him to thank Remus by thrusting his fist back and forth so Remus threw his head back in ecstasy.

Perspiration made Sirius' hair stick to his sides and he started to thrust his hand faster while his free hand tickled its way to Remus' chest and he flicked one of his nipples, making it hard.

Remus' fingers were temporarily distracted from their stroking, but Remus then closed his hand firmly around Sirius' twitching erection while his free hand slid down Sirius' back and slipped into Sirius.

His grey eyes widened and both of his hands momentarily stilled. When he flicked Remus' nipple again the two met in a wet, passionate kiss.

Sirius had already started rubbing Remus again, and the werewolf searched for a good pace to pump his finger in and out while also pumping his hand back and forth. Both shuddered and groaned.

Their knees rubbed against each other as the two lost themselves completely in the situation and let go of all control. Sirius' hips bucked wildly while he both kissed and bit at Remus' hard nipples. Remus who had his eyes shut permanently in pleasure until he finally came and his eyes opened up wide and he spilled his warm seed over Sirius' hand and onto his stomach.

When he was coming down from his high all of his movements had stopped, but only until Sirius impatiently put his hand over Remus' and helped his hand to start stroking again. It didn't take much before Sirius moaned louder than ever as he tightened around Remus' finger and came in his hand, some of it dripping on their sheets.

They were both out of breath as they lay by each other, panting heavily and eyes half-closed.

"I think I'll have to start being late more often." Remus said after a while when he had caught his breath, as his hand searched for his wand. He found it and cleaned the two.

Sirius pinched Remus' buttock "Don't you dare!" he warned and pulled Remus closer to his body. Every time he exhaled his breath would play lightly with Remus' hair. He found it mesmerizing.

Remus was kissing Sirius' collarbone in appreciation when he noticed how quiet his lover was "Are you okay?" he raised himself up on his elbows so he was face to face with Sirius.

"Yeah," Sirius dragged the word, avoiding Remus' eyes "it's just … Lily knows about us." he confessed. Finally he dared to look at Remus properly.

"And? Was she okay with us?" Remus wanted to know and felt relief when Sirius nodded. He lay down again, snuggling his head closer to Sirius' throat.

"But maybe we should tell James about us." it would be such a huge step for them and Sirius' voice was shaky as he awaited Remus' response.

"Hmm," Remus hummed "yes, maybe we should."

A/N: So my first male slash! Please review and let me know how I did!

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