A/N: Yet another random idea I had. Hope you enjoy!
Once upon a time in the city of Paris lived a family of three Gypsies. There was an extremely attractive father named Clopin, an equally attractive mother by the name of Esmeralda, and a beyond-adorable son by the name of Yuvraj.
One day they were sitting in the Court of Miracles when Esmeralda began to cook some stew. Djali was licking Yuvraj's face while Clopin was sewing the eye back on of a puppet identical to him.
"Alright gang, I've just made some stew! Eat up!" Esmeralda encouraged as she set bowls in front of her family. There was a big one for Clopin, an average sized one for her, and a small one for Yuvraj and an even tinier one for Djali. But no sooner had she sat down to take a bite, Yuvraj started to cry.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked.
"This is much too hot, Mommy!" he whimpered. Clopin stuck out his tongue and tried to talk, but his words were slurred since the heat of the stew caused his tongue to swell. Djali bleated as his eyes began to water.
"Hmm, well, why don't we do something while we wait for it to cool off?" Esmeralda suggested.
"Excellent! I need to do my puppet shows anyways. You can come with me, Yuvraj," said Clopin, picking his son up and balancing him on his hip.
"Yes! And we can stare at pretty girls!" squeaked the Puppet.
"No! He can do that when he's older!" Clopin scolded, slapping his puppet on the head while Yuvraj giggled.
"And I can take Djali with me to dance for some coins. We'll meet back here in an hour or so?"
"Fine by us!" Clopin said. And with that, the family went its separate ways.
High above the catacombs walked the most beautiful yet revolting creature of all time. That's right, it was a Mary Sue, perfect in every way that made her so repulsive yet captivating to those around her. Her name was Marie Antoinette Sue Ellen Kirsten Annabelle Nicole Kidman Dunst. But many people just called her Sparkle, even though it had no relevance to her name whatsoever. Her eyelashes curled delicately over her sapphire-like eyes. Sparkle's smooth acne-free skin wasn't too dark or pale. Her teeth were white as snow, and her lips as red as blood. Her blonde hair flowed in gossamers down her waist, not even frizzing. But despite being physically beautiful, Sparkle's past was tragic. Her mother died in labor and her father gambled his money away, coming home drunk every night. Finally unable to be tormented any longer, she glided over to the cemetery in such a graceful manner some would've thought she was a ghost.
"Why is my life so terrible?" Sparkle asked, tears threatening to spill out of her glimmering eye sockets. It actually wouldn't be such a bad thing to cry. Her tears had healing powers and could cure anything from a cold to obesity. Suddenly, she spotted an open grave with a cross above it.
"Oh my land!" she gasped, placing a hand on her 38 DD bosom that didn't sag despite the fact there were no bras back then. Wanting to see what was inside, she stepped gracefully onto a stone step and descended into the sewer. Despite this was the place for human waste to go, it smelt of roses after a fresh rain storm and the water was surprisingly clean. And even though it was quite dark, Sparkle possessed night vision and could see everything perfectly.
"Don't go any further!" commanded a harsh voice. About five heavy Gypsy men surrounded her. Deciding not to hear them out, Sparkle managed to use her amazing karate skills to severely wound the men to the theme song of Mission Impossible.
"You're going to regret this!" one of the Gypsy men vowed.
"Not on my watch," Sparkle said seductively, even though the line had no relevance to the situation, plus there weren't any watches back then, only sundials, therefore leading to a run on sentence with such a miniscule historical accuracy pun that would cause historians to sob. Finally, Sparkle approached a Gypsy caravan and boldly stepped into it. Four dishes were laid out with stew in them: one big one, a medium sized one, a small one, and one that was even smaller. Feeling extremely hungry, she took a bite from Clopin's bowl. But she immediately spit it out.
"Ow! That's too hot!"
She moved on to Esmeralda's bowl.
"Brr! That's too cold!"
She then moved on to Yuvraj's tiny bowl. However, even though she should've gorged herself of that tiny bowl, she didn't. She puckered her lips, staring at the mixture with a repulsed look on her beautiful face.
"Ick! It's too spicy," she finally said. Picking up Djali's bowl, she daintily took a spoonful of it.
"Oh my good-golly gosh! This is stew is so perfect it could be like me!" she giggled. And with that, she ate it so quickly that a normal person would have heartburn and possibly burp. But since Sparkle was perfect, she didn't do that. Wandering even further into the caravan, she spotted some musical instruments in a basket. Picking up the largest one, she blew into it. A sound like a foghorn rang throughout the cramped space.
"Oh my! That instrument is much too loud!"
Rummaging through the basket, she found a wooden recorder, similar to those horrid instruments children had to play in their music classes in the United States. Blowing into it again, a high pitched sound emitted from it.
"Oh my! It sounds way too much like a Jonas Brother fangirl being boiled alive!" Sparkle proclaimed, even though the Jonas Brothers weren't born yet, and therefore leaving an unexplained plot hole. Picking up a tambourine, not realizing that she was messing up the order in which the instruments were to be played, she tapped it lightly.
"And THIS instrument is much too jingly sounding!" At long last, she finally found a cowbell that normally would've been worn by Djali.
"But this instrument is just right!" She began to ring it back and forth for several minutes until her eardrums were on the verge of exploding. Growing angry at the bell, she threw it into the fireplace that magically appeared into the caravan.
"That's for ruining my hawk-like hearing!" she cried dramatically, even though she had no clue what a hawk was. Despite only being in the caravan for a mere fifteen minutes, Sparkle began to grow tired. Yawning delicately, she finally entered a room with several beds, even though an ordinary Gypsy probably wouldn't be able to afford one.
Climbing into Clopin's bed, she was just about to shut her eyes when she jumped out.
"Oh my! This bed is much too hard!"
She then climbed into Esmeralda's bed, which had so many pillows on it you'd think the mattress had gotten leprosy, even though it's an inanimate object.
"Oh my! This bed is much too soft!"
At last, she struggled into Yuvraj's crib. But no sooner had she gotten in did she jump out, shrieking in terror.
"AAAAAAAAH! That bed has too many bed bugs that bite!"
Sparkle was about to stalk out of the room when she saw Djali's bed of hay. It looked so soft and inviting that Sparkle curled up in a ball and fell asleep within seconds. Little did she know that she was about to receive company...
A/N: Alright, I know half of you are thinking they'd never jump out of Clopin's bed no matter how hard it was. But I felt that it had to be done. Please R&R!