School Time
(griffin family is sitting downstairs watch tv, again)
Tom Tucker: I'm tom tucker
Joyce Kinny: and i'm Joyce kinney on the channel 5 news!
Tom Tucker: This just in 3 year old have to go to school, what else is wier-
Joyce Kinny: er, tom. 3 year olds have always gone to school
Tom Tucker: what, really. how come i never heard of this
Joyce Kinney: i don't know but everyone starts school when 3
Tom Tucker: really? how long was this?
Joyce Kinny: years, tom, ages!
Tom Tucker: ooh yeah, I HATE YOU B***c! embarress me on live television sure don't you! i liked diane simmons better
Joyce Kinney: she was a murderer! she killed james woods, derak wilcox, stephanie, Muriel Goldman, Isabella, physillis, and attempted to kill lois griffin but she got shot by a mysterious shooter! ( at saying "mysterious shooter" stewie chuckles and brian look at stewie suspiciously)
Tom: well i liked it when she wasn't a murderer and was here, bitch
Camera man 1: shouldn't we cut
Producer: yeah, go ahead, sorry folks!
(the tv is then on a blank screen, then peter changes the channel to something else)
Lois: omg! i forgot about stewie!
Stewie & Peter: huh?
Lois: he's 3 and he needs to go to school!
Stewie: ohhh... myyy... godddd! (so slow which makes brian and chris stare at him) im 3, what the hell i thought i'm 1
Chris: aint ya?
Peter: he's one, lois
Meg: you dumbasses, remember his threeeeee parties!
Stewie & Chris: oohh yeah!
Peter: ohhh yeah the parties, they were freaking hillirious, everyonce got drunk and the police were starting to hang around, and the other one was like my bachelor party but way better, toddlers parties can be fun if you put a lot of work into it ya know, you should of been there but you was outta town... i mean nice weather we havin .(lois stares at peter angrilly and blankly until peter talks again) ya know what im not gonna pretend and care, lois. go do whatever ya want about the school just leave me outta of it( eyes glued to the screen)
Lois: how could you not care he's your son, peter!
Brian: dont bother getting through to peter. Theres no point and remember the last time he tried to get meg to go a lesbian school ( even though brian wasnt living with the griffins at the time, lets just say he got told by peter or someone)
Flashback
(when meg was 3)
Stephanie: soooo, meg! wanna make out(sexilly)
Jullie: ew, she so ugly she make me wanna puke
Meg: go to hell, steph...
Stephanie: you know you want to(sexily trying to seduce her)
Meg: (staring) sure?
(5mins later stephanie and julie are in the closet making out)
Meg:(panting) im sorry but im not gay, my dad forced me here
Stephanie: (not panting, kinda bored) thank you. Your are rubbish and your body is so ew!
(meg punches her in the face then runs out)
End of flashback
Lois: on seconds thought, peter i can do this on my own (remembering the lesbian school)
Peter: wait i can totally get him into a school, i know i said i dont wanna but now you want me to stay outta it i will help stewie get into school
1 week later
(lois has just dropped stewie off at the new school he got accepted into with the help from peter, stewie walks into the school and gets introduced to by the headteacher)
Headteacher: heyyyyy
Stewie: hey, do you know where the... are you gay?
Headmaster: we all areeee little cute fella, this is a gay camp like the places name(points to it which says "gay camp")
Stewie: peter didnt(trying to convince himself)
(stewie is sitting in the classroom with about 4 gay boys and 5 lesbians)
Tom: heyyy, whats your name
Stewie: stewie, whats yours
Tom: tom, you know, i like you
Stewie: go away, i'm not gay, my parents forced me here
Tom: oh (walks away)
(teacher walks in)
Teacher: so how you doing kids, today we gonna have fun doing a sport, like football or badminton, any questions?
Stewie: yeah, why am i in gay camp, im not gay
(everyone gasps)
Teacher: so your hetorsexual?
Stewie: yeah... I might be Bisexual, not sure...dude
(stewie is sitting outside and got out his phone and called brian)
Brian: hello
Stewie: hey, brain
Brian: whats up, kiddo and i wanna ask you something when you get back
Stewie: okkk, shoot
Brian: what!
Stewie: Go, what is it that you wanna ask me?
Brian: oh? ill ask you later like i said
Stewie: okkk, great(sarcasm)
Brian: whats up
Stewie: well you'll never guess what this place is
Brian: what?
Stewie: gay camp
Brian: what! so peter sent you to gay camp when he was sopposed to send you to a school even thought due to the fact you are probarly straight
Stewie: yeah... what do you mean probarly?
Brian: er... I'll go tell lois(brian hangs up)
(stewie sighs and waits for lois to pick him up and he couldnt believe this because hes not gay that he knew off anyway)
(lois just got off the phone to brian and went to go to talk to peter, and stewie is still waiting by the camp)
Lois: peter, how come you sent stewie to a gays camp? I said school, SCHOOL!
Peter: oh, really?
Lois: Peter! ok i need to calm down,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.(pauses) i said school peter not camp and due to the fact that we think hes hetoresexual and you shouldnt send kids to camps for people who are gay. its not right. straight or gay, they are equal!
Peter: oh right.(guilitly)I'm sorry, lois. this is why i shouldnt of joined in on helping you, lois
(peter is only being nice to lois because hes starting to think that lois doesnt love him anymore and might leave him, i will go more into that the next chapter)
Authors note: btw i am not againts gays, i wasnt trying to be offencive if i did, sorry if i did. and i got the idea from the episode "family gay" you know when stewie and brian sent peter to straight camp to beome straight, except in my story the camp is for people to try to accept it or something i dunno, trying my best not to make it offensive, and the next one he goes to a school and gets into a fight and peter tries to fix his marriage with lois,(nothing bout gays the next chapter btw) to be continoued! :D