Yo! Here I am with another crackfic. Seeing as my life is so stuffed up, these are the only things I could come up with. Not that I have a problem with it.
Summary: Hidan goes high after a successful mission and plays a prank on the rest of the Akatsuki members.
…..During their meeting, nonetheless.
I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.
Masashi owns all.
…
Seriously. He does.
It all started that morning after Hidan and Kakuzu came back from their mission. They were assigned to kill some random guy with a bounty on his head. It's been awhile since Hidan did his thing that involved painfully killing someone and the infamous ritual afterwards. The mission wasn't particularly hard, but it got Hidan on a roll, nonetheless.
They came back to the lair around late morning and by then Hidan was skipping all over the place, grinning and singing random songs. Kakuzu was busy counting his money, Kisame was cracking jokes with Samehada, Sasori was fixing a defective puppet, Deidara was making out with his hands, Pein was filing his nails, and Itachi was giving his "you lack hatred' lecture to a sandwich. So basically, nobody cared.
Except for Tobi, but let's just skip that part.
Hidan suddenly had an idea. He walked up to Itachi casually and suddenly nicked him on the arm with one of Sasori's daggers he found lying around. By the time Itachi activated his Tsukuyomi, Hidan was already gone.
He repeated this process on the rest of the Akatsuki. He nicked Tobi extra hard and skipped Sasori completely. They've seen Hidan go high before so they didn't think much about his strange behaviour.
About half an hour later, Pein announced a meeting in their conference room in 15 minutes. Hidan snuck into the room beforehand and drew a ritual circle under his chair.
He smirked evilly. The only thing left to do was wait.
15 minutes later, everyone was seated in the room and Pein started the meeting.
"Alright. I'd like to congratulate Hidan and Kakuzu for completing their mission."
Tobi clapped, but other than that there was silence.
"Now I have a mission to assign to Itachi and Kisa-"
Hidan promptly poked himself in the eye.
Yells of "AAARGH!!" echoed around the room.
Everyone was bent forward in their chairs clutching their eyes. (Sasori not included.)
Hidan giggled evilly.
He then started flicking himself in the face.
"MOTHER OF-!"
"AH FUCK!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"GRAH!"
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"
Konan sat on the chair facing Hidan. She was flailing around wildly, trying to block the invisible fingers flicking her face. Unfortunately, her out-of-control foot connected with the mastermind's ahem area.
Everyone doubled over and groaned.
Itachi's head fell on the table with a distinct thud. Kisame went cross-eyed. Pein was limping around the room clutching his crotch. Deidara had tears streaming down his face. Tobi was rolling on the floor yelling. Konan had a look of understanding on her face as she grimaced. Sasori just sat there and stared.
He got up suddenly and walked over to Hidan.
"Hidan, quit it. Deidara's in pain."
Hidan shook his head. "Nah it's too much fun."
Sasori couldn't control himself any longer and started strangling Hidan.
This resulted in everyone else clutching their throats and gagging.
Itachi's Sharingan was popping out of their sockets. Kisame was gaping like a fish out of water. Deidara sounded like he had asthma. Konan was coughing and repeatedly banging her head on the table. Pein was writhing on the floor, wheezing. Tobi wasn't breathing at all.
About 15 minutes later, when Hidan stopped laughing, everyone was seated in their places. Glares were sent across the table at Hidan, who would occasionally break out little giggling fits. Since the effects of the ritual hasn't worn off, no one could hurt him without further harming themselves but it was obvious that each one of them were itching to slit Hidan's throat.
Except for Tobi, but let's just skip that part.
So for the rest of the week, Hidan found himself in awkward, painful, and just downright brain-cell-killing experiences.
Itachi used his Tsukuyomi to make him watch Teletubbies for 72 hours. Sasori made an actual, working voodoo doll and Deidara gladly blew it up for him. Pein had him on toilet duty for a month. Konan gave him paper cuts every time he got near a piece of paper. Kakuzu just resorted to pure violence and beat the crap out of him. Everyone had their fair share of revenge.
Except for Tobi, but let's just skip that part.
Man I love crackfics. Reviews would be appreciated.