Disclaimer: Naruto and To LOVE-Ru belong to their respective owners, yada yada. On with the story!

First Psalm: Memoirs and Meetings

ENTRY 1 – July 15th, Earth Year 2130

Time and again, my children, and later grandchildren, have asked me to tell them the story of how and why an Earthling like me had come to become the King of Deviluke and Emperor of the entirety of the galaxy, especially since back when I was still a teenager, Earth had been one of the less technologically-developed planets when considering the whole galaxy.

Time and again, I told them the tale, sometimes just a single one of the kids, and sometimes in large groups. Of how the Queen, my wife, had fled home in order to avoid an arranged marriage, and how it happened that Earth had been the planet she landed on, specifically in my house. Of the journey of a young boy who had not wanted anything to do with running a galactic empire, but had taken the princess in and swore to care for her due to the kindness in his heart; how, because of that princess and the good and the bad she brought with her, that young boy grew into both a warrior and a man who wished for peace.

And now, as I feel that I enter the final chapter of my life, I have chosen to write the tale down, so that the generations to come will remember the sacrifices made to see that they had brighter lives than those who came before them; the sacrifices made so they could go on smiling.

My name is Naruto Raphael Uzumaki-Deviluke, born Uzumaki Naruto on Earth in the nation of Japan. I am the seventy-seventh King of Deviluke, as well as the second Galactic Emperor. This is the tale of how I went from a teen, uncaring of the existence of the painful cycle of hatred, always pulling pranks and barely passing high school to the tip-top of the social and political ladders in the entire Milky Way.

~~Psalms~~

Monday April 7th, Earth Year 2014

If the glare of the sun as my curtains were opened hadn't woken me up, then the wake-up call of my dearest godfather definitely would have.

"Oi, brat, get your lazy ass up! You ain't got time to lay around doing nothin', school starts in an hour."

Now, I take offense to that lazy comment. Just because I think school sucks like any normal teenager and don't see the point in going, does not make me lazy. Sure, I end falling asleep in class half the time, but then again you could just as easily blame the teachers as you would me. Maybe if they taught something actually interesting, I wouldn't be falling asleep in their classes! So, yeah! It's the teachers' fault. There is no possible way you could possibly blame me when the teachers are the ones that suck!

"Yeah, yeah, you creepy old perv. I'll be there on time, so go back to writing your crappy erotica." I grouched at my guardian as I crawled outta bed and stumbled to my feet.

In all honesty, I probably should've expected the hit, but hey! It's like, seven in the morning! That's too damn early for anything productive, ya know? So, I will manly admit that I stumbled back a bit. Finally looking up, I glared into his dark eyes, framed by the white bangs that clearly proved my creepy perv of a guardian was, in my own completely true words, old as hell.

He met my glare head-on, and as annoyed as I am to admit to it, he did intimidate me. But just barely! He did, after all, have a good foot on me, what with him being freakishly tall and all – heh, I made that rhyme. Anyways! Yeah, he was freakishly tall for a Japanese dude, so he towered over just about everybody, which did add a bit to his intimidation factor. Buuuut, anyone who knows him knows he is still a creepy old perv, hence why his best friend is always beating the shit outta him – and that friendship still confused the hell outta everyone! How does the biggest pervert hater and drunk out there become best buds with the hugest perv in the world who made his living offa writing shitty erotica, ya know?

"The hell you call me, brat?! Let's get something straight! I am not a perv, I'm a super pervert! And I sure as hell ain't old! I will have you know I am fifty years young, you little annoying bastard! Any lady would love to be with the great Jiraiya, so show me some respect!"

Now, like any normal person, my reaction was the only possible one out there. I laughed in the perv's face as I turned and started to walk out of my room and down the hall to the bathroom, grabbing the clean set of ugly-as-all-hell (I mean, who the hell came up with green plaid pants? Now, if they were orange, we'd be talkin') school clothes on my desk as I went.

"I'll show you some respect when you earn it, ya old bat! Maybe once you quit writing that shitty smut you call literature is when you'll earn my respect."

I could feel the glare on the back of my head, and as soon as I heard the footsteps start, I sprinted it to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind me.

"You damn annoying little brat! My Icha Icha is some of the greatest literature out there! Why else do you think it sells so much!?"

Despite knowing it meant I'd have to avoid the old perv as much as possible the next few days lest I have to suffer him attempting to read the entire series to me again, as a proud prankster, one reverently called 'The Prankster King from Hell', I just couldn't resist the opening that he gave me.

"Because the world is full of creepy old pervs just like you, ya know!"

~~Psalms~~

Now, one thing I'd gladly give that old perv credit for is that he knew how to live in style. Now, I ain't talkin' snobby, rich people style. Nah, I mean everything was nice, but not overly so.

Case in point right here: the bathroom of our place was stacked to the tens. Rather than just the traditional bath (plus stools and faucets outside said bathtub), there was a separate shower stall, plus a hot tub. And for a guy like me, who doesn't really care to sit in liters of water full of my own filth or sit on a stool butt-ass naked to rinse off and then get in liters of water, the shower was a lifesaver.

So, after slipping off my boxers, I stepped into the stall and turned the water to just below scalding (hey, a guy can enjoy a steamy shower, can't he?). The feel of the steaming water on my skin woke me up and helped to release some of the stress in the muscles across my body, and so I lost myself in the shower, only to be snapped out of my daze by a knock on the door.

"Oi! Get the hell outta there, Naruto! You got twenty minutes to get to school!"

Damn! Had it seriously been almost forty minutes…? Yeah… I could buy that. It wasn't the first time this'd happened, and it definitely wouldn't be the last (screw whatever the old perv had to say about it, I will gladly continue to enjoy long ass showers! This is my relaxation time, dammit!).

So, I scrambled to shampoo my hair and rapidly dried off, hastily throwing on my school clothes, leaving the white shirt untucked and unbuttoned over the orange t-shirt I had on underneath it. Flinging the door open, I sprinted right past Jiraiya and down the stairs, nearly tripping as I did.

"Damn, brat! Slow the hell down before you break something!" I heard behind me as I slipped my shoes on and burst through the front door, grabbing my watch and bag off the small stand next to the door as I went.

~~Psalms~~

Now, let me just say, sprinting headlong down the street: bad idea, especially when there are a lot of people on the streets. Then again, I had lost track of the number of times this happened; hell, it should probably be considered a daily ritual at this point.

Checking my watch showed that it was 7:49, leaving me a measly eleven minutes to make the usually-twenty-minute trip to school. As I looked forward again, however, I saw the female version of Sainin's uniform donned upon a curvy girl with a head of black hair in my path.

"Oi! Watch out!"

My shout was for nothing, however, as the girl turned towards me and froze as she stared at me heading right at her. Just before crashing into her, I saw her brown, almost a dark shade of gold, eyes narrow as who I was registered in her mind.

I lifted my head up off the ground after ending up sprawled across it, and saw the girl slowly lifting herself up. As she finally noticed me, her eyes narrowed into a glare as she shot up to her feet and leveled a pointed finger in my face.

"Uzumaki! Late again, I see! And unable to follow rules, as always!"

Aaaaaand here we go. Of course, the person I crash into just had to be the bane of my existence as a prankster. Upstanding citizen, pillar of morality, Miss "Shameless" herself. So, obviously I just couldn't help myself but do my damnedest to annoy her. Hell, the girl needed to loosen up a little and enjoy life!

I gave her my biggest and cockiest grin, the same one Jiraiya always called my 'I'm a Little Shit and I Know It' grin, and scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

"Eheh, yo, Yui-chan, how-" I was interrupted by a jab to the chest from the same finger the raven-haired girl had leveled in my face, and her glare increased in its intensity.

"Do not address me as if we are friends, Uzumaki! As if I could ever be friends with such a ruffian!"

If she was hoping for my grin to fall at that, she was sorely disappointed. After all, Jiraiya was right with what he called this grin; hell, I know I'm a little shit, and I love every minute of it.

"Maa maa, Yui-chan. You're way too uptight! Wait… is it maybe… hmm. That is definitely possible! Yup, that's gotta be it! Oi, Yui-chan, I think you've got too much sexual ten-"

Of course, being a little shit sometimes really screws me over. Like now, as I felt my head snap to the side and a slight burning sensation in my cheek. As I turned my head back towards the member of the Public Morals Committee, her voice invaded my ears as she shouted at me, her face red enough to match a tomato (the disgusting things!).

"Shameless ruffian! How dare you even think to suggest such a thing! And in public! It's because of people like you that the moral foundations of this nation are collapsing!" With her piece said, Kotegawa Yui was off towards Sainin High, leaving me sitting there in the middle of the walkway.

Looking down at my watch, I saw that the time was now 8:53.

"Well, shit. Guess I'm late for school today."

~~Psalms~~

The teacher, some old dude (who was bald and had glasses with these kinda cool swirl designs on the lenses), looked pained and like he was about to cry as I walked into the classroom five minutes after school had officially started. As I walked towards my seat, behind a dirty-blonde-haired girl who had a bit of a Jiraiya-like problem (although she was one of the ones who enjoyed my pranks the most, and she didn't aim her perviness at me, so I was cool with her) and definitely filled out the uniform more than a lot of the other girls here, I heard him mumble something about 'nobody caring about what I have to teach' or somethin'. I dunno, and I don't really care; two reasons for that: one, it was math (and who the hell cared about math?) and two, I was likely to fall asleep within five minutes anyways.

"Late again, huh, 'Ruto? Late night rendezvous go too long, maybe?" the girl who sat in front of me grinned perversely as she faced me.

"I ain't you, Risa-chan. I don't run around perving on every good-lookin' person I see." Rather than losing her grin, though, it only seemed to grow even larger as a perverse gleam flashed through her eyes.

"Oh? Then what was that I saw with you and Kotegawa on my way here, hmm? 'Cause that certainly didn't look like nothing, 'Ruto."

My head slammed into my desk as I groaned before lifting it just enough for me to look this younger, female (and admittedly beautiful) version of Jiraiya in the eyes.

"That, Risa-chan, was Yui-chan preaching to me about needing to be an 'upstanding member of society' after I ran into her on my way here."

"'Yui-chan', huh, 'Ruto? That certainly makes it sound like something is going on."

My forehead crashed against my desk as I allowed it to drop again, barely holding back the groan that I so wanted to let out, knowing it would only egg on my rival in annoying people. And so began another regular (and boring as all hell) day at school.

~~Psalms~~

The ringing of the bell that announced break woke me up from what was a wonderful dream (buckets upon buckets of ramen being fed to me by beautiful serving girls… truly, what could that be other than heaven itself!?). The clearing of a throat, however, dragged me away from my thoughts on my dream and wanting to return to it. Lifting my head, I grinned a bit at who stood before me.

"Yo, Saru! What's up, man?" the slightly lanky, dark haired-and-eyed teen who happened to be one of my two best male friends returned my grin before placing a hand on my shoulder and pointing behind him, where one of our classmates, an orange-haired and golden-brown-eyed teen sat at his desk with his head laying against it like I had been just a minute prior.

"Eh, Rito failed this morning. Again. It's getting pretty painful to watch, so I figured I'd come see if you had any ideas planned for today."

I grinned wider as he told me about Rito, and I knew he saw the mischievous glint as it appeared in my eyes at his remark about 'ideas'.

"Hehehe… you'll just have to wait and see, Saruyama. Maybe I do and maybe I don't. If I do, why the hell would I ruin the surprise, anyways?" I chuckled as he looked a little let down at that.

"C'mon, Naruto! Don't leave me hangin' here, man! It isn't right!" My grin grew into my signature prankster one again as I stood up and began to walk towards the door. I waved a hand over my shoulder as I walked past Saruyama Kenichi and grinned as he whined about me being unfair.

"Tough luck, Saru. You can cry a river all you want, I'll just build a bridge to help you get over it." And with that, I was out the door. It was time to begin setting up for my newest idea. And boy, was it a grand one, despite being a cliché. But hey, things become cliché for a single reason: they work.

~~Psalms~~

I should probably make it clear before explaining just what was happening at the moment; so, as much as I wish they didn't, my plans have this terrible way of not going according to plan in either the greatest or worst of ways, depending on my luck that day. 'Of mice and men' and all that crap. Sadly, today happened to fall into the worst of ways category, evidenced by the fact that rather than get the annoying and perverted principal and that perverted jackass Motemitsu on the baseball team (since I noticed they sometimes perved together, as creepy as that is; I had been relishing this one, too), the trap I had planned for over a week had instead landed on the beautiful, although immensely haughty, golden-haired Tenjōin Saki and her two followers, the cute glasses-wearing one and the tall and pretty brunette, all three a year ahead of me.

So, fearing the skill the brown-haired girl had with that boken she always carried around, I fled. Although, I had a feeling they knew it was me, and would retaliate. After all, I am well known as a prankster.

My fleeing however, led me into a particularly unwanted situation, considering I just knew Rito would somehow find out and start annoying me about it, as I slipped up a bit while turning the corner. I crashed face-to-(pillow-soft)-chest (and what the hell was up with me crashing into girls today?! I'm not Rito, dammit! His stupid clumsiness had better not be contagious!) with the blue-haired and purple-eyed Sairenji Haruna, another of my friends from childhood, who I will admit to have considered pretty, and later beautiful, since I first met her.

Releasing a groan at this annoying situation, I pushed myself off of my beautiful friend and climbed to my feet. Looking down, I noticed Haruna still on the ground, rubbing her head.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that, Haruna-chan. Wasn't paying any attention to where I was going." I stated as I reached a hand out to help her up off the ground.

As she looked up, she gave me a slight smile while grabbing my hand, allowing me to pull her up. As I did that, I gave her a quick glance over, both making sure she wasn't hurt and checking if anything had changed about her lately. My lips stretched into a slight smile at seeing the two red hair clips that kept her bangs swept to the side and out of her eyes; I had gotten her those just last year when she mentioned needing new ones.

She looked the same as she always did, and while I abhorred the male uniform of Sainin, I would admit that the yellow blazer and green skirt worked well on a number of the girls here, the one in front of me especially.

"Another prank gone wrong, Uzumaki-kun? You really should stop before you get into trouble, you know?"

"Maa maa, Haruna-chan! Ya gotta have fun! 'Enjoy the little things', and all that!"

I grinned at her before walking by, giving her a pat on the back as I did.

She turned to face me as I continued walking, pouting the slightest bit as she shook her head at me, leaving just the tiniest bit of her bangs that had managed their way out of her red hair clips to fall over her eyes, which looked particularly attractive on my kind and soft-spoken friend.

"Just promise me you won't get into too much trouble, Uzumaki-kun." She stated as she smiled at me while brushing her bangs out of her face and fixing them behind her hair clip.

"If it makes you feel better, Haruna-chan. Promise of a lifetime!" I called as I turned for a moment to flash her a bright grin and a thumbs up. Disappearing around another corner and out of her sight, I ran a hand through my spiky yellow-blonde hair and heaved a sigh while beginning to mumble to myself. "Dammit, Rito. It's times like these when I wish I was willing to be more selfish. We aren't gonna be the only ones to notice Haruna-chan forever, ya know? Ya better man up before somebody else comes in and sweeps her off her feet. Especially now that I'm starting to consider it myself."

I continued walking, unaware of the boy who walked out of the bathroom after I had passed by.

~~Psalms~~

As the bell signaling the end of classes for the day rang, I watched for a second as kids began mingling before standing up myself and beginning to head out.

"Oi, 'Ruto! Don't you have practice today?" I turned around to see Risa standing before me, with a cute and short brunette whose eyes were covered by red-framed glasses standing next to her.

"Yo, Risa-chan, Mio-chan. Normally I would, yeah, but I've got some stuff I gotta take care of." The moment those words left my mouth, I knew it was the wrong thing to say to these particular girls.

"Oh? Perhaps a rendezvous, hmm? What do you think, Mio-chan?" the perverted grins spread across the girls' faces sent me a single message: run. Of course, my fight or flight instinct was still warring inside of me, so rather than listen, I stood there.

"Maybe, Risa-chan. Perhaps it's Kotegawa-san he's going to see. Or maybe Haruna-chan. Ooooor, could it be that he pranked Tenjōin-san today to keep people off of their tracks?" the short girl pushed her glasses up as she spoke, her perverted grin stretching even farther.

Shaking my head and groaning, I turned around and began to walk away.

"Honestly, I can't even bring myself to care about the perverted theories you two come up with anymore. You're as bad as Ero-Kyofu sometimes, I swear." The moment the second sentence climbed past my lips, I stopped walking and my mouth clamped shut. Oh dear Kami-sama, what've I done?

"Oho? You think we are as perverted as the great Jiraiya-sama himself? Well, thank you for the fantastic compliment, 'Ruto-kuuun. It's almost like you want me to kiss you or something!" Risa grinned at me and stepped close, entering my personal space.

"Well, it is Naruto-kun, Risa-chan. I think he's earned it." Mio stated as she moved to join Risa in my personal space. I stood there, paralyzed, my brain still processing exactly what hell I might've brought upon myself by comparing these two girls to my guardian.

"I do think you are right, Mio-chan. All right, 'Ruto. I guess you've earned it for that wonderful compliment you gave us."

The moment my brain started processing again, I felt a set of lips press against each of my cheeks. As I realized what happened, my eyes snapped to the two girls who had just exited my personal space, grins across their faces as they watched me, hoping to see my cheeks darken as had happened the last time the duo did this. Of course, that was over a year ago, and I was proud to say they would not get the pleasure.

"Hmm. I guess I really have been desensitized to you two." I deadpanned before turning around and walking out of the classroom, ignoring the mumbling of some of the guys in class calling me a lucky bastard.

"W-wha..? Wait! No! That is not fair, 'Ruto! You don't just get to walk away after that!" Risa called as she began following after me, leading me to burst down the hall trying to make sure she wouldn't see my face.

After all, I seriously did not want to deal with the teasing session she would begin if she saw that my cheeks had turned a light pinkish-red the moment I turned away from her and Mio.

~~Psalms~~

I smiled as I walked into the brick building that served as the gym I usually worked out at, my eyes glimpsing the sign that read 'Maito'. I had chosen this particular one on the suggestion of Jiraiya since the dude who runs it was apparently an old friend of my dad's, despite being a decent chunk of years younger. Despite the man's eccentricities, he was a good guy and he definitely brought out results.

Looking around for the man after first walking in showed nothing, so instead I headed off to the locker room, passing by the few people at the machines or lifting weights at the moment, to get out of my school uniform and into my black tank top and orange shorts. Stuffing my uniform into a locker and closing it, I put my lock on it and then headed out only to bump into the man I had been looking for earlier.

"Yosh, Naruto-kun! Have you come to fan your flames of youth today?" I grinned as I raised my head a bit to look my trainer in the eyes.

I had long since grown used to the man always wearing green spandex, as well as his eyebrows that I'm still positive are actually caterpillars or something. Of course, the bowl cut didn't help matters either, but it ain't like that's any of my business anyways. He's a grown-ass man, he can dress however he wants.

"Yo, Gai-sensei. Yeah, I'm here to work with you today; I decided the track team can do without me for a day considering it's been a while since I came here."

The man smiled at me as he led me to the mats, where another boy, who looked and dressed just like Gai-sensei (bowl cut and caterpill– err, I mean eyebrows, included), already was, stretching as he prepared to begin working out as well. Seeing him, my lips stretched into a smile as I stepped up.

"Yo, Lee. How've you been?" I questioned as I took the mat next to his and began stretching, starting with my arms.

"Ah, hello, Naruto-kun! I am well. Gai-sensei has been helping me fan my flames of youth to be much brighter!"

Yeah, somehow I really don't see how these two aren't closer related than second cousins, but hey, they swear up and down they're not, and I know that Lee and Gai-sensei aren't the types to lie.

Switching to stretch my legs a few minutes later, I smiled as Lee and I continued talking throughout the entire time I was there, Gai-sensei jumping in when he felt the need or to direct us to do something else.

~~Psalms~~

{Play Euterpe – Guilty Crown OST Piano Cover by Animenz}

Walking home as it started getting dark out, I smiled as I enjoyed the fresh breeze, taking my time after getting worked into the ground back at Maito. I reached into my bag, pulling out my MP3 player and headphones. Putting them on and flicking on the MP3, I let the relaxing sounds of a piano fill my ears as I looked up at the sky, enjoying seeing what stars I could while in the middle of a city.

Ever since I was little, I've wondered what it'd be like to be out in space, to see the entire world from out there. Jiraiya had appeased me back then, bringing home anything and everything he could get his hands on that had to do with what we knew of space.

The reason for that is because I had been four when my parents died, not old enough to really fully understand at first. But after a week or two, my four-year-old brain had processed enough to understand that they weren't coming back, but I was still old enough to have memories. And it nearly broke me.

Those days, Jiraiya had tried everything he could think of to help me move on and nothing would work. The moment I had mentioned my curiosity in space, the old perv had latched on and tried using that to work. He had even taken me to the observatory on the edge of the city before it closed down. Hell, I still have the telescope that he bought me back then, set up in the attic for when I just feel like watching the stars and relaxing.

Bringing my head back out of the clouds, I kept my eyes on the streets as I continued walking back home, piano still sounding in my ears. I was honestly tired, and so it seemed that today would be one of those days where I took a shower and then sat in the hot tub, Jiraiya be damned. I needed it after today.

Finally reaching my street, I turned down it only to see Jiraiya outside in the front yard talking to some gangly-looking dude with spiky grayish-silver hair, but he didn't look old enough for his hair to be that color. I slowed down and ducked behind a hedge a couple houses down, noticing they hadn't seen me yet, and took off my headphones to listen in.

"And you've been keeping an eye on it, Kakashi? You're positive?" I could barely hold my snort in when I heard the dude's name because… well, he did really look like a scarecrow. Talk about foresight on his parents' parts!

"Yeah. Minato-sensei was really close to breaking this case back then, and as you know everything just went up in smoke after he and Kushina-nee passed away. I think I'm getting close to the answers, myself."

Now that had my attention. How the hell did this dude know my parents, and what the fuck was up with this case he was talking about?

"All right. Just be careful, Kakashi. I don't need the same thing that happened to Minato and Kushina happening to you, too. We're lucky Naruto made it out of that." The silver-haired dude nodded to Jiraiya before turning around and heading to the car that sat out front of our place.

What the hell was going on, and what did the old perv mean about what happened to my parents? Hadn't it been a gas leak that blew up our old house, which is why we moved here to Sainin in the first place? What the hell was that about me making it out?

I waited a few minutes before coming out of hiding and heading in. As I opened the door, Jiraiya looked over from where he was watching television from what he dubbed his 'Super Pervert Throne'; in actuality, it was a damn comfy chair, one I happened to be banned from sitting in.

"Back a bit late today, aren't ya, brat? There somethin' you need to tell me?" I rolled my eyes as I walked past the entrance to the living room, moving to the stairs so that I could head to the bathroom.

"Whatever you wanna think, go ahead and think it, perv. I'll be in the bathroom. Today has been a long day." And with that, I headed up, not really caring to hear the man's response at this point. I was tired, and felt a little gross from having sweat so much when Gai decided to have me spar with Lee for the first time in a while (see, Gai also knows, like, five different forms of martial arts, and also teaches that at his gym; I've been learning karate from him for a year and a half now, and Lee has been learning that plus Jujitsu and Tae Kwon Dao, and he's crazy good at mixing the three together; hell, him and Gai call it 'Strong Fist' and, I assure you, the name fits).

Suffice to say, it went as bad as last time, and I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter. Gai says I'm coming along well and all, but Lee… he's had a fire lit under his ass ever since I met him, and I'm not sure why.

I sighed as I undressed in the bathroom, turning the shower on pretty damn hot to rinse off. I rested my head against the glass of the shower door, just letting my thoughts run wild.

Of course, my thoughts eventually strayed to what I saw outside with Jiraiya and… Kakashi, that was his name. That train of thought led nowhere, considering I didn't know a damn thing of what they were talking about except… they had mentioned my parents. But… I know the house blew up; hell, I was in the hospital for months after my miraculous survival. The investigation said that it was a gas leak, though. So what did Jiraiya mean then?

Finally giving up, realizing that this train of thought would lead me nowhere, I turned off the shower and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around my waist as I moved to the hot tub and turned it on, letting steaming hot water begin to fill the large tub.

As I waited, my thoughts trailed to other things, top among them my other best male friend aside from Saru: Yuuki Rito. I had been the first one he told about his feelings for Haruna. And right away, I knew I would let him try and win her heart. I had never been able to deny my friends, so I hid how I felt, and never told him. I never told anyone, although I get the feeling that Jiraiya knows. I think Risa might too, but she's never said anything, so who knows?

Sighing, I looked down to see that the hot tub had filled, so I dropped my towel to the floor and got in, sitting down with my back to one of the jets and putting my feet by another. I simply sat there, letting the water and jets wash away the tension in my muscles enjoying the feeling of them loosening and relaxing. I sank further in, to the point where only my nose and up weren't in the water so that I could still breathe.

I turned my head to look out the window, where I could see the stars better than earlier back when I was closer to school. I'm not sure how long I sat there, just enjoying the peace and quiet and watching the stars.

It was out of the corner of my eye that I noticed the shooting star. I turned my head to it, and watched until it disappeared from my line of sight.

"Make a wish, huh?" I mumbled as my thoughts wandered yet again back to Jiraiya and the scarecrow, Kakashi. After that, my thoughts wandered to the love triangle I found myself in with Haruna and Rito, and then Risa, followed by Yui. And then, the image of what I remembered my mother to look like entered my mind's eye: beautiful crimson-red hair that fell to her mid back, shining violet eyes, her almost-ever-present bright and kind smile; her rounded face which I had inherited, along with the shape of her eyes. And then my dad: the spiky blonde hair and cerulean eyes that I inherited from him, bangs framing his face at his jawline, a calm smile that showed no teeth. "Hmm… what do I wish for? A girlfriend just feels so cliché… so not that. What Jiraiya and Kakashi were talking about? What they meant about my parents… huh. I dunno."

I sighed as I sat up a bit and lowered my head to look at my reflection in the water. I stared into my own eyes, seeing the flickers of loneliness that had reared up whenever I thought about my mom and dad. I leaned back, letting my head rest on the top of the hot tub, and stared up at the ceiling, not really paying attention to anything, lost in my thoughts as I was.

"Kaa-chan… Tou-chan. Is there something about you that I don't know? That the old perv has been hiding from me?" I sighed again, as I felt those flickers of loneliness grow a bit brighter. And then a thought came to mind… yeah, Jiraiya is my godfather and guardian and all… but do the two of us alone really constitute a family? As much as I hated myself for it, I knew what I thought the answer was.

"I guess… we don't. The two of us… we're part of a family. One that got torn apart and won't be full again. Unless…"

I trailed off as I looked back out the window, remembering that shooting star. And my wish came to me. No matter how important what Jiraiya and Kakashi were talking about is, this felt right. It's the wish that I need.

"I wish to find a way to fix this injured piece of a family… to make it whole again."

A small smile wormed its way onto my face as I leaned back into the hot tub and closed my eyes. I had never really been the superstitious type (except for ghosts! Screw those things!), but this… it actually seemed like it'd work.

So, I started humming something I only barely remembered. I'm not even sure I remember it correctly, but I do remember my mom used to hum a lullaby for me when I was little and had nightmares.

I felt relaxed. More than I had in a long time. My smile grew a little bit larger as I continued humming what I remembered of the lullaby, and shortly that was all that I did. No thinking or anything, just that lullaby.

I didn't even notice as the water began bubbling more than it should. What did catch my attention, though, and dragged me away from the lullaby was a bright flash of light.

Once my vision cleared, I looked ahead to see something that was more likely to happen in one of Jiraiya's perv books than it was in real life. In front of me, in my own hot tub, sat a naked girl who had appeared quite literally outta nowhere.

I sat there, unblinking, as my mind stored what I was seeing in that section of it for perusal at a later time. Long, and I mean like waist-length, bubblegum colored hair, big and round bright green eyes that shone with innocence and curiosity, amazing curves that put even Yui-chan to shame (thinking about it later, I probably still would've used that pun), and… seeing that finally rebooted my brain.

"The hell?"

Is that… a tail? What the..? How the HELL does a girl have a tail of all things? Wait! Is this like in the movies, where people are experimented on!? Is this girl a government experiment!? How the hell did she escape the government then? Men in Black, where the hell are you!?

My brain stopped running rampant once I heard her talk.

"Hi! I'm Lala!" I simply sat there, staring at this girl who I'm pretty sure had less common sense than even the principal of Sainin High, and that's saying something. Finally, she tilted her head to the side cutely after a few minutes and spoke again. "Um… do you not understand me?"

"Uh…hi?" Once I spoke, 'Lala's' lips stretched out into a massive grin that practically spewed innocence, showing pure white teeth.

"Oh! You do understand me! Yatta!" with that, she raised her left hand, curling it into a fist as she punched the air, doing…well, interesting things to her body. I simply kept staring, my mind continuing to store 'data' for looking through later.

"Uhm… sorry if this offends you or anything…Lala, but is that a tail?" the girl's head turned to me again, tilting as she looked at me for a second while she processed my question. After she did, she looked behind her to where her spade-tipped tail was slowly swaying back and forth. She stared at it for but a second before bonking herself on the head as she stuck her tongue out.

"Oh! Right! Earthlings don't have tails!" Earthlings…? The hell was this girl on!? My thoughts were derailed though as Lala stood up and turned around, sticking her butt close to my face (and yes, my mind did save the 'data'). "Yup! I have a tail, but that doesn't make me change with a full moon or anything!" O…kay? Well, that reaffirmed my thoughts that this girl was definitely on some kinda drug.

"Riiight. Er, what, exactly, are you doing in my hot tub naked?" After I asked this, she brought her right hand in front of her, and I finally noticed the gray bracelet that adorned her wrist. It kinda made me think of some kind of mutated bunny, with a longer, lizard-like tail, even longer ears than usual and a heart-shaped head.

"This is my Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun! It's a teleportation device! Bad guys were chasing me and had boarded my ship, so I used it to get away." Okay, seriously, what the actual FUCK is this girl on!? I mean, yeah, teleportation would explain how she suddenly appeared in my bath tub but that didn't answer why she showed up naked! And bad guys? Oh Kami-sama… this really is Men in Black or something, and she's the experiment!

"Uhm, Lala? That still doesn't explain why you showed up naked…" At this, she gave me a look like the answer should be obvious or something. I'll admit, she looked freakin' adorable.

"Well duh, silly! Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun only teleports organic materials!" Well then. I honestly didn't even know what to say to that, so instead I reached outside of the hot tub and grabbed my towel. I wrapped it around me as I stood up, keeping the girl from seeing my little buddy. As I stepped out, I heard her rise behind me. "Where are you going?"

I turned for a second only to snap back to the direction I was facing. Really, did this girl lack all forms of common sense and shame!?

"I am grabbing you a towel. And then I will get you some clothes. I dunno about where you come from, but here, you don't really show your body to somebody unless they're family, which is when you're young, or you are married to them." I said as I grabbed another towel off of the rack and walked back to the tub, trying to avoid blatantly staring at Lala (because, really, it just felt a little wrong to stare at this girl with how innocent she is; I ain't Jiraiya!), but somewhat failing.

"Thank you, uhm… you never told me your name." At that, I stood stock-still for a second. Do I tell this girl who is obviously a government experiment or something my name? Eh… screw it. I turned around to see she had wrapped the towel around her body, and even if it strained a bit, it did cover what it needed to. So, I stepped close and stuck a hand out, because, well… today was just one of those days, so I just gave up questioning shit and would take it at face value. I was getting way too tired to deal with it all, anyways. I spoke up as she took my hand and shook it with a surprisingly strong grip.

"I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto." I gave her a light smile as I spoke, and she gave me a bright grin in return.

"I'm Lala! Lala Satalin Deviluke, from the planet of Deviluke!" Cue blank staring again. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind despite all the sci-fi I had managed to get Jiraiya and sometimes Rito and Saruyama to watch with me. Hell, I was obsessed with space for most of my life, and that idea didn't even occur to me. Well… only one way to go about this, I guess.

"So, you're an alien then?" She smiled at me again as she stepped out of the tub, just barely invading my personal space. As she did, I looked into her emerald eyes again, and the thought that I could get lost in them came from seemingly nowhere.

"Well, to an Earthling like you, I am! But I could say the same of you for me!" She stated as she scooted a tiny bit closer to me, looking up into my eyes.

"Right… well, let's get you some clothes, Lala. Then we'll figure out something to do about you." The pinkette nodded at me as she followed after me when I turned to head out.

The moment that I opened the door I really found myself wishing I hadn't, as there stood my creepy old perv of a guardian. He looked lecherously behind me at the girl for a second before noticing the tail, and his gaze slowly turned back to me.

"The hell is going on, brat?" Yeah, that was Jiraiya, all right. No freaking out or anything, just blunt as all hell.

"To be honest… I'm not sure myself, perv. Today has been one of those days. I stopped questioning things a little while ago now. Anyways, this is Lala. She says she's an alien from the planet Deviluke." Jiraiya continued staring at me before returning his gaze to the pinkette behind me, before he finally sighed and shook his head.

"The shit you get into, brat. You're almost as bad as your father with that." I'm not even sure he entirely realized what he said as he headed to his room, but it stopped me mid-step. Jiraiya didn't really mention my father all that much; definitely less than he did my mother. He had raised my dad, so when he died it was like losing a son for the perv, and he was still slowly recovering, just like I was. My mother's death had hurt him too, but not as bad, so he was more willing to talk about her.

"Naruto-kun? Are you okay?" My head snapped back to my 'visitor', and with that my thoughts returned to the present.

"I'm fine, Lala. C'mon, let's get you some clothes, and then I'll show you to the guest room." With that, I started towards my room again, Lala following behind me. Stepping in, I smiled as I took in my own personal sanctuary; the walls were a dark blue-purple color, almost the same shade as the night sky. Looking back, I saw Lala smile as she looked around, seeing the posters on the walls, some were of space, some of the main characters in different fighting movies, and a few of pretty girls. It was as she looked at my desk, though, that she noticed the framed picture. The only personal picture anywhere on display in my room.

"Hey, Naruto-kun? Are those your parents?" my head strayed over to the slightly worn photo, and I stepped over and picked up the frame, running a finger across the front. In it, my parents flanked either side of me, Kaa-chan to the right and Tou-chan to the left, hands on my shoulders. I was a few inches below the bottom of my mom's chest, and just barely above my dad's hips then. My fourth birthday. If I recalled correctly, it was Jiraiya that took this picture.

"…yeah. Yeah, this is me with my parents. They uh…they died a few months after this was taken if I'm remembering right, so the old perv took me in. He raised my dad too." She looked pretty sad and about ready to apologize, so I rested a hand on her shoulder to stop her before she spoke up. "Don't worry about it. You didn't know, Lala. Can't exactly blame ya for that, ya know?"

She continued staring at me for a minute, before the brightest smile I'd seen on her yet stretched across her lips.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. And thank you for believing me, too." I just nodded to her as I stepped over to my dresser and opened it up, pulling out one of my tank tops, this one black, and a pair of red boxers.

"Could you turn around for a sec so I can get dressed, Lala?" Rather than say something, I heard the towel rustle as she turned, and so dropped my towel to the ground as I tossed on the clothes, trying to avoid thinking about the fact there was a gorgeous girl who wasn't even dressed not five feet from me. Bad thing to be thinking about with my hormones already raging thanks to her. "All right, Lala, thanks. Now let's find you something to wear."

She turned back around and stepped up next to me as I dug through my dresser, trying to find something that would fit the busty girl. As I continued digging, Lala stood there patiently waiting until we heard a tapping against my window. Looking over, I saw Lala already moving towards my window, her bubbly smile stretching her lips yet again. As she opened it, I gawked at the little white… thing with bluish-purple, red and yellow accents that flew in.

It looked humanoid in shape, was maybe a foot and a half tall with a white jacket adorned with yellow buttons and what reminded me of the fur on fur coats, which covered a bluish-purple shirt with red tie, and bluish-purple shoes with white soles. The weirdest, and possibly coolest, part was definitely the eyes though. They were just swirls. No nose or mouth or anything else, just these big giant swirls I'm guessing are its eyes.

"Lala-sama, I've found you!" the girl grinned at the creature as she pulled it into a hug. It was after the pinkette let go that the thing noticed me. "Ah, Lala-sama, who is this foolish-looking human?" Okay, it's official. I don't like this thing. Not one bit. Nope!

"Oh! This is Naruto-kun, Peke! He helped me after Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun teleported me here! He's really nice!" The creature continued to stare at me, and I could just feel that it was looking at me like I was stupid, so I finally shot it the worst glare I could muster. I guess my glare finally brought the thing to acknowledge me itself, as it spoke up to me.

"Hello, Naruto-san. My name is Peke. Thank you for taking care of Lala-sama." I just blankly stared at it for a minute before looking to Lala, blank look still on my face.

"Right. Lala, what exactly is this thing?" Said 'thing' looked at me, and I could just tell it was glaring, so I grinned at it. Never let it be said that being a little shit isn't fun. Well, except for when it screws you over.

"Oh! This is Peke, Naruto-kun! I made her years ago! She's my All-Purpose Costume Robot!" I stared at her, and before I even finished processing that, Lala had turned back to 'Peke'. "Peke, Dress Form, Please." I continued gawking as Lala took off her towel and dropped it on the floor, leaving her bare yet again (image safely saved in brain), and I didn't even hear what was apparently a robot respond before it starting morphing and wrapping around Lala's body, leaving her looking like she was wearing a giant version of the little bot, with her tail uncovered.

"Well, Naruto-kun? How do I look?" At first, I honestly was stumped on how to answer that. The outfit was so childish, but at the same time… it fit. Lala practically had an aura of innocence around her, and it made the childish outfit fitting for her. The thought brought a small smile to my face.

"You look good, Lala. That outfit looks really nice on you." My answer was rewarded with another big grin, before Lala seemed to refocus and brought her gaze back up to her 'Costume Robot'.

"Peke, you weren't followed, right?" The hat part of the outfit seemed to nod, and the spirals looked like they were attempting to look at Lala.

"Indeed, Lala-sama. I waited to sneak away and insure I wasn't followed." Lala nodded at that before looking back towards me, and I took advantage of the silence.

"You said you made Peke? Like, you invented her yourself?" Lala bubbly smiled again, and nodded towards me, stepping closer as she began to speak.

"That's right! I've been inventing things since I was little! I didn't have a lot of friends though, so I made Peke! I had the idea for a costume robot at the same time, so I just mixed the two." Huh…well, she's definitely smarter than she seems to be able to do something like that.

"That's pretty cool. How come you never thought to make a teleporter that teleports clothes too, though?" As I asked that, Lala stared at me blankly for a minute before doing the same head bonk with her tongue out as she had done in the hot tub.

"I guess I just never really thought about it! I already had a teleporter, and after I finished Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun I just moved onto another invention." Yeah, I was right. This girl really is lacking in common sense. I honestly felt a bit bad for her parents.

I sat down on my bed and patted next to me, leading the bubbly pinkette to sit next to me, a bit closer than I thought she would.

"So what other kinds of stuff have you-" before I could finish my question, my window busted in. My head snapped over and standing there I saw two pretty big thugs, both light skinned, both in black suits with white dress shirts and black ties, and both wore black sunglasses. They even had on black dress shoes. Pretty damn fancy-lookin' thugs. Hell, the only differences was that one had blonde hair with a goatee, as well as a scar going down over his left eye and another two in a V-shape above his nose, and the other had black hair with no facial hair. Blonde Thug's face was also narrower than Blackie's.

"It's time for you to come with us, Lala-sama." Blackie spoke up. Except Lala wasn't paying attention to them. She was glaring up at the hat that was Peke's head.

"You stupid robot, Peke! I told you to make sure you weren't followed!" The hat actually looked like it had drooped a bit, like it was sad that its mistress was annoyed with it.

"I thought I had. My apologies, Lala-sama." I almost laughed at the look on the hat/head, but I knew it wasn't the time. Instead, I kept my eyes on the two thugs, watching for any movement.

"Don't bother trying to run away again, Lala-sama. We will capture you this time." I stared at the two thugs, feeling like I was in one big damn cliché, and I definitely had a feeling Jiraiya was on the other side of my door, listening for 'material' for his books, ready to step in if things got serious.

"No way! I'm staying here!" The thugs stepped closer, and in that moment, I reacted, knowing I'd hate myself if I stood by and did nothing. I grabbed the old baseball bat leaning against my bed (back from my old baseball days in middle school), and swung it straight into Blonde Thug's face, knocking him over and practically ensuring he was seeing little birdies flapping around like in American cartoons. Before Blackie could react, I kicked him where the sun don't shine, and he went down like a sack of rocks. I grabbed Lala's hand, dropping the broken bat, and moved to the window, jumping out and onto the roof next door.

"Sorry, Blackie, but ya heard the lady, which means I can't play fair! C'mon, Lala, we gotta go!" Looking over my shoulder, I saw the pinkette staring at me with something I didn't quite recognize in her eyes. Still, she followed along as I sprinted across the rooftops, keeping an eye open for somewhere we could get down to the ground.

"…why? Why are you helping me even with those guys after me?" Her question made me stop and look back at her. That emotion I still couldn't recognize was still present in her eyes, but confusion also lingered in her emerald irides. I kept staring into her eyes for a minute, trying to remember that emotion before I finally spoke up.

"I just can't stand by on the sidelines while someone's being forced into something against their will. You obviously don't wanna go with 'em, which makes 'em the bad guys. Besides, ain't it the hero's job to save the beautiful princess from the bad guys?" I noticed her eyes widen for a second when I mentioned princess, but I brushed it off and pushed on, seeing a ladder a few more houses down. "Now, c'mon, I see a way down over there."

~~Psalms~~

I managed to get us to an empty park so there wouldn't be any collateral damage in innocent people just in case, and we stood there, barely panting for breath from the race here.

I looked back over at Lala just as she raised her head to look at me. She smiled at me; it wasn't the bubbly one I had been seeing all night. Something about this one seemed more…personal, I guess. She stepped closer to me and wrapped around her arms around me in a tight hug, pressing her rather large chest into mine. Not really knowing how to respond to the sudden hug from someone I barely know, I lightly wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. Really. You didn't have to do… any of this, really. But you did." She stared up into my eyes with that more personal smile still stretching her lips, and I smiled down at her, before nodding.

"I told ya, didn't I? I can't just sit on the sidelines when someone's in trouble. That just ain't me! It isn't what Uzumaki Naruto does!" She kept the smile up and pulled me into another hug, and as she did it I heard Peke mumble something to the pinkette.

"I see what you're doing, Lala-sama. It isn't right." The alien girl leveled a glare up the hat while I looked down at her questioningly. Before I could say anything, though, I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. Now, while those two dudes before were Cliché Movie Thugs Numbers One and Two, this guy was Cliché Middle Ages Evil Knight Number One.

Seriously, he was dressed in really thick-looking grayish armor that looked kinda demonic (hell, the chest plate almost looked like it was in the shape of a mouth and eyes), and he had these big spiked pauldrons with red gems in the middle of 'em. Funniest part though: the dude was actually wearing a cape. Just a big, dark cape that covered most of his arms while they were at his sides. The dude had gray hair and dark blue eyes, and I would say he almost looked good, except he smelled like dog crap and was all scuffed up.

After looking at each other for a minute, the man finally pointed at Lala.

"It's time for you to come with me, Lala-sama. This has gone on long enough." Rather than respond with words, Lala stuck her tongue out at Sir Knight and ducked behind me. "I see. Do you know what I had to go through to find you? I got lost in this city multiple times, I was chased by dogs who…well it wasn't good, what they did. And finally, I was attacked by this man in a blue suit who kept shouting at me. This is why I don't like underdeveloped planets." I had almost laughed at what happened to the dude, but the moment he started hating on Earth, I leveled him with a dark glare.

"You wanna keep hating on my planet, asshat? That ain't really a nice thing to do, ya know?" The man stared at me for a minute, assessing me, before he nodded.

"I see, you must be this 'Naruto' that took down Maul and Smutts." Seriously, what is up with the names these aliens come up with? It's pretty hard to keep myself from laughing when I hear such ridiculous names, after all.

"If Maul and Smutts were the two cliché movie thugs that busted up my window, then yeah, that was me. You might wanna look into getting better thugs, asshole. I'm also pretty sure you owe me a window now. I mean, didn't your mother teach you it isn't nice to go breaking people's things?"

Sir Knight leveled a glare at me before releasing a heavy breath through his nose.

"I would ask that you move out of the way, Earthling. You don't know what you're dealing with. I'd rather not have to kill anyone."

Okay, really? Why is it that of all the aliens I've met tonight, only one has been nice? And it happened to be the cute girl? Fucking cliché! I groaned as I pushed Lala further behind me. Damn my good heart.

"Yeah, can't really do that, Sir Knight. I ain't the type to. 'Sides, isn't it the hero's job to protect the girl from the douche– I mean evil guy? Wait, no douche works. Pretty sure those two are interchangeable now that I think about it." If anything, he just seemed more annoyed at his new nickname and the insults I threw his way. Curse my need to be a little shit, dammit!

"I see. Lala-sama, please come. As I said, I don't want to have to kill anyone."

Lala looked over my shoulder and leveled a cute glare at the guy.

"No way! I'm staying here. I'm tired of all those marriage meetings! You can just go and tell Daddy to leave me alone!" Wait, what? Oh, no… have I seriously walked right into one of Jiraiya's Icha Icha books?

"I can't do that, Lala-sama. You are the heiress to the throne of the Devilukean Empire. You must marry someone fit to be king of the Milky Way. Your father commands it." Well, that answers that question. I did walk right into one of Jiraiya's books. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"I've already chosen! I'm gonna marry Naruto-kun and stay here on Earth!" My eyes bugged out as I turned to face the pink-haired alien, processing just what she said.

"The hell!? What're you talkin' about!? I never agreed to marry anybody!" A sound behind me forced me to turn around, seeing Sir Knight remove a bladeless hilt from his side.

"I see. However, I'm afraid I can't just leave the First Princess of the Milky Way on an underdeveloped planet with an unknown. Gid-sama would have my head for that. If this truly is your choice, Lala-sama, then I suppose I must test this Naruto. Naruto-san, my name is Zastin. Although it won't matter to you, since I refuse to allow someone unworthy to inherit the throne, so you will be dying tonight." My eyes widened as a green energy blade emerged from the hilt, probably about three feet long.

"Shit. Shit on a stick. Lala, tell him you made that up, dammit!" I shouted as I ducked under a swing and sprinted away from the newly-dubbed Psycho with a Fucking Energy Sword (I refuse to call this asshat by his name, dammit!).

"But… it's true Naruto-kun. In just a day, you've been far nicer to me than any of my suitors. All they see is the crown… the throne of the Empire. You didn't… you saw me for me." I ducked under another swing as I gawked at the girl.

"Because I didn't know you were a princess, dammit! Now tell him, please! I really do NOT wanna lose my head anytime soon!" I kept sprinting, dodging Sir Psycho as best I could. Finally, I felt the sword brush over my head, and, looking over my shoulder, I saw some of my hair fall to the ground. I stopped in my tracks, staring straight at my blonde hair on the ground.

Sir Psycho took another swing at me, but rather then run, I ducked under this one and stepped into his guard, delivering a punch straight to his face. And then stared. Because it didn't do a damn thing to him. Sir Psycho stared back at me. And then he spoke.

"You'll have to do far better than that to hurt me, Earthling. I am far stronger than Maul and Smutts. I am known as Deviluke's greatest swordsman for a reason." And cue rapid paling of my face. To my fallback I go! I have to bullshit so well to make sure I don't die tonight…

"O-Oi! I don't really get all this succession crap since stuff like that hasn't happened on Earth, at least that I'm aware of, in a long while. I do get marriage and shit, though! I don't remember much about my parents, they died when I was four, but what I do remember is that they didn't just love me with all their hearts! They loved each other. Ain't that what marriage is supposed to be, ya jackass? Hell, it's fucked up your king is tryin' to make Lala-chan marry some random dude just so he can have an heir. How the hell is a marriage supposed to work when the people involved don't even care about each other!?

"'Cause, from what Lala-chan said, that's how it is with all her suitors. All they see her as is a ticket to the crown and throne instead of the beautiful girl that she is! Everyone deserves to marry for love, it don't matter if they're a princess or a cripple! Tryin' to force Lala to marry someone she hates ain't gonna solve a damn thing for anyone!"

I finally stopped, catching my breath, and looked up to see both Lala and Sir Psycho staring at me. Lala had her hands up to her mouth, tears in her eyes as she stared at me, that emotion that I'm finally beginning to recognize even stronger in them. Sir Psycho had tears in his eyes too, and he finally lowered his sword, allowing the energy blade to dissipate back into the hilt.

"I… I see. You are correct. I simply couldn't understand Lala-sama's feelings. No, it isn't that… it is that I refused to try and understand her feelings. However, you, the one who can understand Lala-sama's feelings… yes, forgive me, Naruto-dono. I see now that you are the one worthy of marrying Lala-sama." I stared, baffled at how he had taken my words the entirely wrong way.

"W-what the hell are you talking about, you psycho!? I don't love Lala-chan! Hell, I don't even know her! So what crap are you going on about now?"

Before I could go on yelling, though, I felt arms wrap around me from behind and a large chest press against my back. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Lala look up into my eyes as she gave me that personal smile again.

"You might not yet… but you're already calling me 'chan'. Doesn't that itself mean that there's a chance?" I kept looking into her emerald eyes, baffled as I hadn't even realized I began calling her that… but it didn't mean anything.

"I call all my female friends 'chan'. I ain't the type for formalities. So, me calling you that doesn't mean anything, Lala." I had noticeably forced myself to drop the 'chan', and I'm sure she realized it too.

"But… but I love you. Doesn't that mean you can give me a chance?" I watched for a moment as her eyes teared up before I had to look away. I ended up looking into Sir Psycho's eyes, and for at least a minute, I just stared at him, and him at me. Finally, I heaved a sigh and looked down at the girl close to crying into my back.

"You… you don't love me, Lala. You love the idea of me; you love what you think I am. You don't know me enough to love me, just like I don't know you enough to love you." I pressed a hand against her cheek and lifted her face to look her in the eyes, as I continued. "Honestly, I don't wanna deal with any of this Empire and princess and inheritance crap, but I never go back on my word." Her eyes started to brighten, and I wasn't sure how she'd feel about what I had to say next.

Glancing over my shoulder for a second, I also saw Sir Psycho keeping his eyes on me, listening intently to what I would say. I also just barely noticed what looked like a recording device in his hand. Heh, guess he wants the king to hear what his daughter's new choice has to say, huh? All right, then. Here you go, asshat.

Looking back down into emerald eyes, I kept talking.

"I do believe everyone, no matter their position, deserves to marry for love and not be forced into it. Even an heiress like you, and that's why your father is a petty jackass for trying to force you into it. But, I can't say yes to marrying you, Lala. Like I said, we don't know each other. But… if you really wanna, you can stay here on Earth. I don't wanna deal with all this crap, but if it'll keep your dad off your ass about all this marriage shit, you can stay here until you find the guy you wanna marry. And I'll kick the crap outta anyone who tries to take you against your will until the day you make that choice." The pinkette just stared into my eyes as tears streamed down her face.

I gave her a light smile and allowed her tightening her arms around me in a vice grip of a hug. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Zastin nod to me with a smile on his face as he put the recorder away. Looking back down at Lala again, I wrapped my arms around her waist and let her cry into my chest. Well, ain't no point in not going all in now. So, I leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"That's a promise of a lifetime, Lala-chan. And like I told you, Uzumaki Naruto never goes back on his word."

~~Psalms~~

I nearly face-palmed as Lala, Zastin and I walked into the living room (which was painted a calming light blue, just about the same shade as the sky on a clear day). Really, I couldn't even say I was surprised at what I was seeing. It's just that much of a Jiraiya move, that I'd honestly be shocked he hadn't done it.

Yeah, there sat Zastin's two underlings, who he called Maul and Smutts (and, going out on a limb here, I'm guessing Scarface over there is Maul; just feels overly obvious and thus must be right), each reading the first book of Jiraiya's Icha Icha series. Jiraiya himself was bragging over his 'pieces of literary art' as he called them.

"Really, perv? Even trying to get alien henchmen to read your crappy erotica? Not that I can say I'm surprised, but still…" Jiraiya looked to me with a glare, before that turned into his pervy smirk (about ten times worse than Risa's pervy grin) when he saw Lala-chan holding onto my arm.

"And what about you, brat? You seem awfully comfortable with an alien princess hanging off your arm." So that's how he wanted it, huh? All right, Jiraiya, you're on.

"Hmm? Sorry, but did you say something? I couldn't hear you over the unique sound that is creepy old perv." He glared again as I shot him my own smirk. Finally, I decided introductions were needed. "Anyways, Sir Psycho over there is Zastin, Lala-chan's bodyguard and supposedly the greatest swordsman on their planet. The two you've inducted into your cult are Scarface and Blackie, otherwise known as Maul and Smutts, and are Zastin's underlings." I ignored the glares aimed at me from the three bodyguards with a shit-eating grin on my face as I moved to sit down on my orange (of which I redid the upholstery personally) couch, Lala-chan following behind me.

"And, as you seem to already know, this is Lala-chan, the First Princess of the planet of Deviluke and heiress to the galactic throne. She'll be staying with us until her asshole of a father gets off her back about marriage." I pointedly ignored Lala-chan leaning against me as I sat on my couch, which Jiraiya seemed to take pleasure in noticing if his expression meant anything, which it usually did.

"So, you're engaged to an alien princess, brat? And heiress of the entire galaxy, no less? Honestly, the shit you get in to!" I groaned as I knew he did that just to give Lala-chan even more hope about her getting me to agree to marry her. Leaning back against my nice and comfy couch, I looked around the room. Zastin was still standing by the door, and looked pretty damn outta place that it was amusing. Maul and Smutts went on reading the smut (and I just noticed that fantastic pun, to be saved and used at a later date in case 'Smut-tsy' ever annoys me) and Jiraiya, leaning back into his own 'throne', smirked first at me and then at his own new lackeys inducted into his cult.

"Not engaged, stupid perv. I made a promise that I'd keep her dad and asshats who try to take her against her will away from her until she decides who she wants to marry." Noticing Lala-chan next to me about to say something, I spoke again before she asked me to marry her again. "The answer is still no, Lala-chan. I'm not marrying you." Honestly, you would think she'd get the idea after the first five times, but nope. This would've been the twelfth time she's asked in under an hour.

I suppose I will give her points for persistence, though.

"You may say no now, Naruto-kun. But I'll get you to fall in love me like I've already started falling in love with you." She smiled up at me brightly from her spot leaning against my shoulder. Looking at her, a thought popped into my head. I'm really usually not all that superstitious (fuck ghosts, though. I ain't going anywhere near something I can't even touch), but maybe…just maybe this is the answer to my wish on that shooting star. Maybe this is the way to repair my damaged family.

The dinging of the clock hanging on the wall above Maul and Smutts announced that it was midnight. Monday was over.

I leaned back into my couch again as I sighed. Lala-chan leaned back with me, still resting on my shoulder and only five words came to mind.

"Really one of those days."