I really don't remember where the idea for this came from, but here it is. The return of dozens if not hundreds of South Park characters that have not been seen since...any later than season 6 I think
Oh, and before starting, I'd like to thank Angelic Guardian for helping me come up with the idea, and RemmyBlack for agreeing with me that Killing Kenny is fun, and giving me ideas for random parts of this story. Now on with the story...
It was a typical day in South Park, Colorado. At the bus stop, you could see four boys, having decided that it would be fun to return to their old hangout. Why weren't they at someone's house watching TV you might ask?
Well...Cartman's house was being fumigated, Stan's sister Shelly was on her period, Kenny lived in the ghetto, and Kyle's cousin Kyle was at his house. So you see why they'd decided to return to the Bus Stop that had shared many, many traumatic experiences at.
"You know Kahl, if there's one thing I hate more than Jews, it's Jews named Kahl who wear glasses, and are all around Jewish stereotypes form Connecticut" said Cartman, the fat kid
"Well, if there's one thing I hate more than fat bastards, it's fat bastards named Cartman, who are also Nazi's" retorted Kyle
"Dude, can't you guys stop fighting for like 10 minutes!" this was Stan, the normal kid. Well, as normal ask could be in a town like South Park
"mmph ilmph" said a voice muffled by an orange parka drawn tightly around the wearers face. This was Kenny, the last of the group of four.
"Yeah, Kenny's right. We'll never stop fighting until Cartman stops belittling my people"
"Well, I won't stop till you stop being such a goddam Jew!"
Kyle and Cartman started fighting again. And when I say again, I mean that this was the millionth time this had happened. Man, to say they didn't get along would be an understatement.
Anyway, they were fighting, and Stan and Kenny tried to stop them from fighting, but one of them ended up punching Kenny, who fell onto the street and got ran over by a random monster truck.
"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" exclaimed Stan
"You Bastards!" cried Kyle, before getting punched in the face by his adversaries yellow gloved hand. Kyle kicked him in the crotch, and Cartman, not willing to go down that easily, tried to push Kyle onto the street to see if he would suffer a similar fate to Kenny's.
Unfortunately, he miscalculated, and ended up causing him and Kyle to roll down the hill they were on, and they didn't stop until they reached the community center. The door closed upon their entry, trapping the two boys in there.
Immediately, they stopped trying to punch and kick each other. They both stood up and looked around, Kyle supporting a bruised shin and Cartman nursing his black eye. They were surrounded by tall boxes, and tarps covered the windows. The only light came from the flickering bulbs in the ceiling, causing the place to be bathed in a calming yellow glow.
Kyle's watch beeped, announcing it was dinner time. "Well, fatass, it seems our time together has come to an end. Now if you excuse me, I have to go to Stan's house for dinner."
"Aw, you have a date with your little boyfriend?" taunted Cartman
"He is not my Boyfriend" cried Kyle, walking to the door and tugging on the handle. It wouldn't budge. "damn" he whispered and pulled harder
"Move aside, Jew. My mom's bringing KFC today, and I don't want to be late either." he too tried to pull on the door, but it wouldn't budge.
"Maybe you're supposed to pull" said Kyle, getting worried
Cartman attempted to push the heavy door, but it wouldn't budge. He cursed under his breath, and walked back a few paces.
"Giving up?" asked Kyle, surprised. The Cartman he knew didn't give up.
"Shut up, Jew" said Cartman, before charging at the door, and slamming his weight into it. Now, if this was a normal door, it would have shattered. But since this was South Park, and considering all the crap that happened there, it was bullet proof, fire proof, lightning, homeless, guinea pig, bus, natural disaster, unnatural disaster, boat, crap, and random anything proof with an indestructible lock. So all that ended up happening is that Cartman bounced off and landed in a squishy box that held bags of marshmallows
Well, that didn't work. Kyle walked over to the door and gave it a gentle shove, which usually ended up opening doors. This was South Park, remember. Lot's of crap had happened in the last several decades. Of course, this door wouldn't open that easily, or without a fight.
"Well, fatass, it looks like were stuck in here for the time being. Nothing to do till they come and rescue us." said Kyle, going to sit near the still dazed Cartman and taking a bag of marshmallows
His words seemed to wake up the larger boy. He sprang up and shook Kyle violently, his hands holding onto his shoulders tightly. "I can't be stuck in here with you!" he screamed
"Well, we can't do anything about it, so stop shaking me" said Kyle, trying to avoid having his tongue bitten off. Yes, he was being shaken that much.
"Well, I hope they get us out soon. I'm hungry" said Cartman. He sat down next to Kyle and took another bag of marshmallows He opened it, and both boys ate their respective bags quickly. Cartman yawned and fell asleep on the box of marshmallows Kyle set off to explore the community center, hopping to find a back door or something.
3 hours later, he went back to where Cartman was peacefully sleeping on top of the marshmallows "Nothing. Were stuck in here." he said to himself, as he collapsed next to his sort-of-friend. He closed his eyes, and fell asleep.
Several hours later...
"Kyle! Cartman! Where are you!" yelled Stan at the top of his lungs, walking through the outskirts of South Park
"Mfyle, Camphn!" yelled Kenny, walking next to Stan. He'd re-spawned a few hours ago in front of Stan's house and ate dinner there, as Kyle hadn't shown up. Then, about an hour ago, Sheila Brofloski, Kyle's energetic mom, came to the Marsh residence followed by Leanne Cartman. Both were looking for their sons, who hadn't come home.
'And now here we are, walking in the middle of nowhere' thought Kenny, running to catch up to Stan, who'd gotten a bit ahead of him.
Suddenly, a squirrel leaped at Kenny and got on the inside of the orange hood. It started clawing at his face, and in a matter of seconds, Kenny was dead. Rats came up out of nowhere and started carting away his remains.
Stan turned around and saw his friend was dead. "Oh my God! They Killed Kenny!" he said.
But the answering 'You Bastards!' never came
back at the community center...
Cartman woke up to the sounds of people calling their names. 'where am I?' he though. A small grunt followed by a warm shape cuddling up to him brought his attention to the small Jew sleeping next to him. Cartman got up quickly in disgust and walked up to the door and tried to peek outside.
Of course, along with the doors other features, it was also tinted so that the glass was almost black and thus impossible to peek out of, even in the daytime. It was impossible to see at night, on a new moon, when it was overcast, like today. Any light from inside was also blocked by the door, which meant the light of the Community center couldn't be seen outside. It didn't help that the lights dimmed at night either. All Cartman could make out were a few flickering torches here and there. But their bright glow was dimmed greatly by the glass.
"Ugh, where am I?" asked Kyle, getting up. He was cold now, where did the warmth go? That's when he remembered he'd fallen asleep next to Cartman, and blushed. Of course, it was so dark that Cartman could never see it.
"Were in the community center, Kahl." said Cartman, trying to peer outside the door.
"What's going on?" a very confused Kyle asked. They already knew the door didn't open, and Kyle hadn't found any bombs when he'd explored the building. A cry of 'kyle, Cartman, where are you!' answered his question.
"Sweet, were gonna be out of here soon." he said, going to stand next to his overweight friend. Of course, after a few minutes, it became obvious they weren't gonna look in the community center, so the two boys started making noise in a vain attempt to get the adults to notice them.
An hour later, the cries for the children stopped abruptly, to be replaced by an ominous silence
where Stan is...
At the moment that the cries stopped, Stan was still looking though the woods for any sign of his two friends. He heard a sound like the marching of thousands of Crab Legs, but thought that was stupid. This was Colorado, there were no live crabs here.
"Oh, shit. This is South Park!" he exclaimed. Anything could happen in South Park. He ran to the edge of the forest and looked out over the town. Everything was still peaceful. The adults were still walking around. Stan breathed a sigh of relief.
"Mmph umph?" asked a voice next to him that caused him to leap up, but thankfully he didn't hit the person on the way down.
"Oh, Ken, you scared me." said Stan
"Dffm, Hmmph mph umph!" said Kenny
"No, they haven't found them yet, but I heard crab feet." Explained Stan
"Mphb Fmmt?!" asked Kenny
"Well this is South Park." said Stan, recovering from his almost heart attack. Kenny nodded in agreement.
That's when the cries of the parents stopped. Every parent in South Park was now missing. No, there were still adults, just no parent's. That happens later, m'kay?
Anyway, when the cries of the parents stopped, Kenny and Stan ran over to where they'd last seen the flickering red torches. Had they found the other two boys? Yet when the two reached the main street of south park, they couldn't find anyone.
They started wandering around the streets looking for them, but couldn't find them at all. They both stopped in front of the door of the Community Center, unaware that behind that locked door stood their two friends, waiting for a rescue that might never come.
"Crap, I think they went home already." said Stan. He and Kenny ran off in the direction of Cartman's house. But before they got there, they crashed into a man.
"Omph" said Kenny, rubbing his parka covered head
"Eh, are you two alwight?" asked a voice in a heavy Chinese accent
It was the City Wok guy
back in the community center, again...
"Dude, what about us!?" cried Kyle after the retreating figures of Stan and Kenny
"They probably went to tell everyone where we are or something, Jew," said Cartman, as the other boys rounded a corner and disappeared from their view.
"Well, I hope they come back soon." said Kyle
"Yeah, they better." said Cartman
At that moment, a chant floated in from the air vents. It went something like
"Crab People, Crab People, Crab People, Crab People, Crab People, Crab People"
well, there it is, Ch. 1. yeah, I regret if it's a bit short, but I had to set the story in motion. And this way, I can update quicker. :). anyway, I'm sorry if it sucked, but please review so that I know what you people think.
And coming chapter 2, the return of the City Wok guy, and Kenny gets immortality. Well, he can't get killed either, I mean...oh you'll find out. Anyway, review, please :)