Hello Legal Drug fans! This story represents the ending of a three part series. It started with 'Bad Day' moved on to 'Forsaken' and ends here with 'Hard to Find'. If you starting here you may want to check out the other stories first. I have really enjoyed writing these and hope you've enjoyed reading them.

Okay then, please begin...

Calm

Rikuo woke to find Kazahaya in his arms. Kazahaya's head was on his chest and one of his legs was between Rikuo's. Rikuo, oh so gently pulled Kazahaya closer, not wanting to wake him and ruin the moment. It was easy to pretend that things were back to normal but Rikuo knew that this embrace had only happened because a few hours ago, they'd barely walked away from death. In sleep they had turned to each other and sought the comfort only the other could give.

A slight shiver went through Rikuo as memories played in his mind. They had fought and gained cuts and bruises then instead of running from danger, they'd run headlong into it. He'd almost lost Kazahaya again to Black Shadow. Kazahaya had named the thing that would have swallowed them if it hadn't been for Kakei's planning. He was always thinking a few steps ahead and lucky for them he had arranged for the lights even though they never should have been in that warehouse at all.

Of course, he'd have gone with Kazahaya if they'd been unable to save him. Rikuo would have allowed Black Shadow to take him. There was no way that he'd have let Kazahaya go into that darkness to suffer alone nor could he have stayed in this world without him. Rikuo had already lost Tsukiko but he'd found someone who had changed his heart. It was Kazahaya and he would not loose the only other person who made his life worth living.

Carefully Rikuo slipped his hand under the raised T-shirt Kazahaya wore and placed it against the boy's warm skin. He breathed deeply savoring being so close to Kazahaya because he had no doubt the boy would not let him touch him like this later. Somehow he had to convince Kazahaya that he would never leave him again. He'd hurt him so badly. He'd hurt Kazahaya as Tsukiko had hurt him and remembering that pain only intensified Rikuo's guilt. Never had he thought to ever cause someone experience pain like that especially to someone who was precious to him. Rikuo had two people he cared deeply about, Kazahaya and Tsukiko.

Tsukiko had been missing for over a year. She'd been a very important part of his life, so much so that living without her, not knowing what had happened to her, had been hell. If Saiga and Kakei hadn't been around, Rikuo was sure he'd have become one of those people who lived lost and alone in the streets. They'd kept him sane, for memories of that blood spattered room were enough to drive him crazy.

Rikuo felt safe. He had a place to live, a job, people who not only cared about him but were trying to help him. He'd gotten by but it wasn't until on a snow filled night when he found a half frozen boy lying in the snow that he'd begun to live again. The boy though barely able to move, had said repeatedly that he 'could not die, not yet.' The words were weak but determined and this is what had drawn Rikuo to him.

Again his life changed. Kazahaya annoyed him but made him smile, made him laugh. Rikuo couldn't remember when he'd started to like the boy or when he'd become less lonely. He worried about Kazahaya, he protected Kazahaya from harm. The boy's past haunted him and Rikuo wanted to make him feel better. Their past lives had great hurt in them but being with each other eased that pain and the friendship became something more, much more.

Rikuo couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to think that leaving Kazahaya would protect him. The pain of being without him had been like a wound that wouldn't heal but it had been worse for Kazahaya. He'd broken something inside him. Kazahaya didn't trust him anymore. He had denied the boy, turned his back on him and shattered his fragile emotions.

Tears filled his eyes and escaped. Rikuo jerked slightly when he heard a door open and saw Kakei step out of his room. Quickly he gestured for Kakei not to speak then enclosed Kazahaya again, holding him against his heart. For however long the boy slept, Rikuo wanted to hold him.

Kakei nodded, understanding instantly. The sight before him was so bittersweet. They belonged together and were holding each other but tears wet both their faces since they both thought their relationship was over. Neither realized that a love like theirs just didn't end that easily.

Late afternoon found them visiting Shane in the hospital. The huge American dwarfed the hospital bed. He welcomed them all gladly, relieved to see that they weren't hurt too badly.

"They said you were okay but until I saw you guys, I suspected the worse. Looks like I was the only one who needed a hospital stay. Hey Kazahaya, what happened to your hand?" Shane asked as he eyed the bandaged hand.

"Oh it isn't nothing bad." Kazahaya didn't know how to explain to Shane that a creature from another world tried to swallow him and the end result was a 'sort of' frostbitten hand. He and Saiga had had a hard time trying to tell the doctors how they'd gotten injured.

Shane just shrugged and looked to Rikuo. "Tell me what happened to Osawa. I kept asking the police but they wouldn't tell me. Please say he's locked up in a very tiny, dark, dank cell." Shane's fists were clenched tight in anticipation.

"Sorry no, he's not." Rikuo moved closer to him when Shane's mouth dropped open in shock. "But Shane, he's gone. I guarantee you that he won't be hurting anyone else." One hand covered the man's tight fist and squeezed.

Blinking rapidly, Shane looked hard into Rikuo's face and then the others. Their expressions were sincere; they truly believed that Osawa was gone and wouldn't be able to hurt anybody but that didn't make any sense! If he'd managed to get away from the police, then he'd more than likely seek revenge on them. "Wait, hold on! Explain that! Explain why we shouldn't be afraid for our lives if that bastard is out there free!" The bed squeaked as Shane endeavored to sit up straighter. His leg was suspended over the bed to immobilize it.

"Calm down son before you hurt yourself." Saiga pushed on Shane's chest so he would be still. "Just calm down and listen. We can't tell you everything because frankly, you wouldn't believe us but Osawa is not free. Where he is now – he can never hurt another soul again. Never. Prison was too good for him, the suffering he's enduring now will last a lifetime."

All Shane could see was his own reflection in Saiga's shades but the quiet conviction in his tone made the big man believable. "But where…is he? If not prison, where? Did you guys…kill him?" Shane was speaking quietly now even though the door to his room was closed.

Kakei joined Kazahaya at the foot of the bed. "No, we didn't kill him. Nor do we know exactly where he is but we know he's gone. Shane I promise you he's gone. There will be no threats on your life, on my boys or Saiga and me. All of Osawa's men are in jail and will serve several life sentences. We can't…tell you everything but you're free to live your life without worrying about retribution."

Shane scanned their faces again and saw the same conviction as before. Osawa had paid for his crimes but how? Was it true or were they lying to him? But why would they lie, if he was free, they were in as much danger as he. They returned his looks with sure glances – he just couldn't figure them out but then again they were a mysterious group. When he thought of how Kazahaya seemed to know things and the way they'd all known that the guns wouldn't fire. None of that had seemed possible either.

Once again he looked at the four men. Kakei stood next to Kazahaya, one hand resting gently on the boy's shoulder. Then at Rikuo who stood with his hands on his hips then back to Saiga who still stood with one hand on his chest staring down at him. For a moment he felt something like fear but then it disappeared, it wasn't fear he was feeling but respect. All together, these men commanded a certain respect. Shane didn't know why but he now believed them. "Osawa never stood a chance against you four, did he?"

Saiga let out a bark of laughter. "Well, let's just say, he should have never underestimated us." Saiga finally lifted his hand and stepped back to lean against the wall. He was sure of Shane now; he'd seen what he'd needed to see in the young man's eyes.

"So what will you do now Shane? Will you stay here in Japan? You only came to this country for Osawa didn't you?" Kakei asked as he affectionately squeezed Kazahaya's shoulder before joining Saiga.

Relaxing back onto the pillows, Shane crossed his arms. "Yeah, I did but I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, this place grows on you after a while but I miss home. After they say I can leave this bed, I think I'll head on back." Suddenly he grinned and looked at Rikuo. "Konishi called. Apparently the police paid her a visit and asked some rather personal questions. Freaked the boss lady out to say the least. Once they'd left, she called me here and sounded shocked to hear about what Osawa really did to make all the money he used to spend on her."

"Yeah, she'll miss the money more than the man." Rikuo let out a dry laugh.

"No doubt. But then, guess what? She actually wanted me to continue working for her! I told her thanks but no thanks. Konishi didn't take that too well especially since 'Rick' didn't show up for work. She cursed you six ways to Sunday man - for leaving without giving notice!" Shane laughed remembering.

"Well she was alright as a boss but there's no way I would work for her again. Couldn't keep her damn hands to herself! Talk about annoying." Suddenly he looked over at Kazahaya. "Nothing happened. I always told her to back off!" Rikuo was quick to explain.

"Really he did. I often ran interference for him. We'd help each other out 'cause she loved to touch. At first it's flattering but when it happens all the time?" Shane shook his head. "Believe me Kazahaya; Rikuo didn't once welcome her touch." It was obvious even to him that these two boys were in love but some severe damage had been done to their relationship. Shane had only known Rikuo for a short while but he thought of the young man as a friend. He hoped they'd be able to work things out.

Kazahaya gave Shane a small smile. He really didn't want to hear about the life Rikuo had lived while he'd been gone. It just reminded him that Rikuo didn't need him.

"Well we should let you rest. You've got plans to make now that you're going back to America. We'll come back to visit later and then you've got let us take you out to dinner before you leave as a thank you for all your help okay?" Kakei moved forward and held out his hand.

"Sure, I'd really like that. Thank you for saving me and thanks for helping with Osawa. My sister can rest easily now." Shane shook each man's hand and felt he'd made some real friends.

They returned to the store and set about making dinner. It was a silent process as was most of the meal. Each was thinking of the violence they'd survived and wondering about the future. It wasn't until they were about done that Kakei spoke. It was time to talk. The boys needed to know that a threat still lingered.

"Kazahaya-kun, there's something you should know." Kakei leaned forward with both elbows on the table. "It's about…Black Shadow."

Kazahaya had thought that Kakei was going to tell him not to be so hard on Rikuo. In all actuality, he'd put the shadow out of his mind. When he'd woken today, it had been to feel Rikuo's arms around him and the strong desire to never move again but that wasn't something he could allow himself to do. Reluctantly he'd left the peace of Rikuo arms and acted like the embrace had never happened. Later they'd visited Shane and except for that one brief moment when Shane had asked about his hand, all thoughts of Black Shadow had been forcibly pushed the back of his mind. The only thing he'd been able to think about was Rikuo. Now a tell-tale shiver flowed from the top of his head down to his feet. In a flash, Kazahaya suddenly remembered that the thing had said his name! Had told him come! Wide, frightened eyes looked up to meet Kakei's concerned ones.

Kakei, seeing how shook the boy was got up and moved to sit beside him. "We have to do something about it." He took one of Kazahaya's hands and inhaled deeply. "It…it told Saiga that you were next. When he went back for the lights, it was still there and it said that you were next." He spoke hurriedly then hugged Kazahaya when tears formed in his eyes.

Rikuo held himself in his chair for he wanted to be the one to offer Kazahaya comfort instead he looked over at Saiga. "You're sure? It specifically asked for Kazahaya?" His words were hushed and fearful. When Saiga nodded, Rikuo slammed his fist against the table. "What in the hell are we going to do about it?! Wait…its trapped there…isn't it? If – if Kazahaya just stays away from it, he'll be safe…right? Right?" He looked from Saiga to Kakei who still held a trembling Kazahaya.

Kakei stroked Kazahaya's hair as he looked over at Rikuo. "We don't know that. We have no way of knowing what that thing can do. Yes, so far it seems to stay in that warehouse but will it always stay there? And…look what happened the other day. None of us were going to go near that place but circumstances took us there yet again. Who's to say that won't happen again?"

His chest felt tight. "Then what are we supposed to do?" Rikuo stared at Kazahaya who continued to hide his face against Kakei's chest.

"Research." Saiga spoke his voice dull. "You, Kakei and the kid will research as much supernatural/paranormal stuff you can get your hands on. Maybe find out what that thing really is. Hopefully you'll find something and we can send it back to the hell it came from."

Kazahaya was still shaken to know that Black Shadow had actually spoken to Saiga telling him that it wanted him next but Kazahaya also heard what Saiga hadn't said and raised his head to look at Saiga. "W-what about you? What are you g-going to be doing?" He finally pulled away from Kakei even though he still wanted to be held. Kazahaya couldn't go back to the way it was, not with Rikuo and not with Kakei nor Saiga. He had to learn to stand on his own. Kazahaya wiped away his tears and waited for Saiga's reply.

Saiga unfolded his arms tried to smile but failed. He knew the words he was about to speak would hurt Kazahaya but it couldn't be helped. "I'm going to Osaka to look for Tsukiko." He winced as Kazahaya got even paler. "You gave us the first real clue we've had in a long time kid. I need to go see if she's still there. What's happened to her is still an unsolved mystery and none of us will be satisfied until we have an answer. Kazahaya…you understand that, don't you?"

Kazahaya looked to Rikuo who seemed a little shocked by the news and then he saw the hope that flared up in Rikuo's eyes. Kazahaya looked down at his hands and nodded. Saiga was right, Rikuo needed to know and he wasn't petty enough to deny him that but it still hurt to know that Saiga was taking off immediately to help Rikuo find the woman who Rikuo loved more than him. "Y-yeah, of course."

"Damn." Saiga swore. The kid was still a mess and couldn't hide the emotions that flowed over his face. "Look I can't go right away, at least not until the doc says my foot's better. I'll be here for a while yet, okay?" All he got was a nod. Saiga sighed.

Kazahaya got to his feet and with shaking limbs awkwardly began to clear the table. He spoke not a word nor looked at any of them. In his heart he knew that soon all this would come to an end. No more working with them, living with them or sharing the good times or surviving the bad. This time with them now was the balm, the calm before the coming storm that would be his life once he left here.

He had to soak it all up, take it all in so that in the future there would be something good for him to look back on. Plus there was the threat of Black Shadow. Kazahaya glanced back at them; by leaving he would keep them from harm. The creature wanted him and only him, his friends would be safe. If they didn't find a way to destroy it, Kazahaya had the choice of leaving and keeping his friends safe or going to it and disappearing forever.

Kazahaya's breath hitched at the thought of being swallowed into that darkness. Osawa had screamed as he was being swallowed. No one heard him but Kazahaya because of he'd still been connected to Osawa by the man's death grip but the screams had been ones of torment.

Rikuo appeared beside him and caught the bowl that slipped from his clumsy grip. Kazahaya looked up into Rikuo's eyes. He could see that Rikuo cared, maybe even loved him as he said but…Tsukiko was first in his life and would always be in the way. Knowing that he would more than likely leave once Saiga had found the answers Rikuo needed, Kazahaya made a decision.

Kazahaya smiled shyly, "Thanks Rikuo." He would take some comfort from Rikuo, just a little and in return ease Rikuo's anxiety. Rikuo hadn't meant to hurt him, Kazahaya knew. He couldn't help it that Tsukiko came first in his heart only leaving a small portion for Kazahaya. "Will you…help me? My hand…I can't…" Kazahaya blinked up at Rikuo and felt the knots in his shoulders ease.

Rikuo inhaled sharply to see Kazahaya smile at him. Had he been forgiven? So soon? He looked back at Kakei and Saiga and saw their confused expressions but they shrugged and nodded. "Yes, I'll help you. Always. I'm going to always be here for you Kazahaya." Rikuo promised.

He didn't let it show, how the words so solemnly said affected him. Kazahaya only nodded. He'd take it, hold it close and treasure the words for they were all he was ever going to have…