The Kasanoda You Do Doll

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran

"Are you sure this is going to work, Nekozawa?" asked Ayanokoji as she held the doll with stone like features and red hair. "This will bring Tamaki back to me and Kasanoda will go to Haruhi right?"

"Of course it will!" said Nekozawa from under his black cloak "If I did the incantation right…"

"All I have to do now is wait for the opportune moment and strike." smirked Ayanokoji. Kasanoda walked into the host clubroom, and they silently followed him.

"Fujioka!" he called out "Are you okay?" they heard him say, and there was what sounded like an awkward moment, so they saw what was going on. Fujioka was undressing, and his undergarments showed that he was a she. With the blushing Kasanoda, Ayanokoji had found the opportune moment she was waiting for and waited until Kasanoda was in the eyesight of Hikaru and Kaoru.

"You saw her, didn't you?!" they glared. Ayanokoji let him answer the first few questions, but when the twins asked "How much of her virgin skin that even we haven't seen have you seen", she took over. She pulled the doll closer to her mouth and whispered something in its ear.

Kasanoda felt someone or something taking over his mind as he said "I have seen her totally nude!" he clapped his hands over his mouth. The look on the twins faces were that of disbelief, shock, and total mortification. Tamiki's facial expression was that he went completely white and his soul was sneaking out of his nose. Mori had the same expression on his face like always, but his mind was full of dirty thoughts. "Oh god, I am so sorry! What I meant to say was" he felt the thing taking over him again, "that I banged her like a Swiss army drum!" Even Kyoyo had looked up from his accounting pad to look horrified. Honey was pressing his hands against his ears so he could not hear what was going on, because Mori had instructed him to do so.

This is so great! Thought Ayanokiji I think that I will have some more fun with them!

Tamaki was starting to cry "My daughter isn't a virgin anymore!"

"Ewww…." said Hikaru and Kaoru as they washed out their eyes and ears.

Ranka had over heard from the hallway, and came running in. "WHAT?! YOU HAD TAKEN MY DAUGTHER'S VIRGINITY?!" He picked Kasanoda up and threw him across the room, and pounced on his stomach like a tiger about to devour its prey.

"No! It's not like that!" insisted Kasanoda. "I just.." he felt it again "wanted to hit that shit and make her moan like a little bitch!" What is making me say these horrible things?! he thought.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" said Ranka as he pressed his heels into Kasanoda's groin area. "Little boy, I may be in a dress and heels, but I can still kick your ass into next week!"

"It was an accident!" heaved Kasanoda.

What is wrong with this stupid doll?! thought Ayanokoji as she shook the doll, because it had stopped doing what she had made it do before. She turned the doll over to see that the seal was broken and the incantation had wore off.

"No, I did not have sex with your daughter, yes she is still a virgin, and no I do not think of her in that way!" he gasped for breath in between words. "I felt like someone or something was controlling my speech, making me say these horrid things."

"Here is the perpetrator!" said Haruhi as she pointed out Ayanokoji in the shadows. Haruhi was blushing badly as she was buttoning up the jacket and doing her tie. "What are you doing?!"

"I was trying to get Tamaki back!" snapped Ayanokoji, throwing down the doll.

"You can have him, honey! I have no romantic feelings towards him anyway!"

"Really? Then why does he keep ogling you?"

"He doesn't understand that no means no!" Then, Renge had come up from the floor.

"He is persistent because he loves you Haruhi! LONG LIVE MOE!"

The punishment for Ayanokoji was that she was expelled from Ouran High School, eventually run out of town, and she is now working as a laundry woman in Osaka. As for Haruhi, she eventually said yes to Tamaki's advances and has been dating him for two years. Honey and Mori went on to be masters of judo and kendo, the twins became swimsuit designers just like their mother, and Kyoyo became head of his family's medical company. As for Kasanoda, he and Ranka are doing just fine.