Hello, everyone! This is just a random all-dialogue one-shot that popped into my mind the other day. There's actually this really obnoxious jerk at my school who looks like a ferret, so we call him a jerkferret. Not to his face of course. Actually, I think my friend did once. :P
Plus, I'm going to be gone for the rest of this week, so I figured I'd leave you with a cute little oneshot. It's pretty random, just some drabbleish stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not own SWAC! I do, however, own the insult jerkferret. You are all welcome to use it though. :)
~ Of Cream Puffs and Jerkferrets ~
"CHAD. DYLAN. COOPER!!!!!!!"
"Hey, hey, Sonny, that's my name, don't wear it out."
"Your name isn't gonna be the only thing that's worn out but the time I'm done with you, Cooper."
"Geez, what's got your knickers in a twist?"
"You little- knickers in a twist? Really, Chad, really? Who says that anymore?"
"First of all, don't steal my lines. And second, I say that."
"Well, first, I can steal your lines if I want to. And second, it sounds dumb."
"It does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Gotcha!"
"Argh! Chad Dylan Cooper, stop changing the subject?"
"Wow, Sonny, you seem to be using my full name a lot lately. You just can't resist the awesomeness that is CDC, can ya?"
"Oh, please. Now, stop changing the subject. I'm very mad at you right now."
"And why would that be?"
"You- I- my- ARGH!"
"Wow. Real articulate, Sonshine."
"Chad. I'm not in the mood to argue with you. Just give me my fun-genda and I'll be on my way."
"Ew, fun-genda? What's that, some kind of disease?"
"It's not a disease!! It's a fun-sease."
"Wow, mood swings, much? And adding the word fun to un-fun words doesn't make it those words fun."
"I know, Tawni's already told me. And I don't care if you think it's a dumb-genda, I just need my fun-genda back."
"Well, hate to burst your bubble, Munroe, but I don't have your stupid fun-genda."
"You... little... jerkferret!"
"Jerkferret? I thought the appropriate term was jerkface. Or jerkroach."
"No, no, see a jerkroach is a jerk who resembles a cockroach. You don't resemble a cockroach."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"You, have more of a ferrety complexion. Therefore, you are a jerkferret."
"What!? I do not look like a ferret!"
"Eh, I still think it's more ferrety than, say, chipmunk."
"I don't look like a ferret! Or a chipmunk!"
"Really, Chad, really?"
"Yes, really. Chad Dylan Cooper is perfect. And ferrets are not perfect."
"Oh, I don't know, Chad. Somewhere out there, I bet there's a she-ferret who thinks you're hot."
"Jealous, Munroe?"
"Why would I be jealous of a ferret?"
"Because... um, well... because... when excited, ferrets can perform a routine commonly known as the weasel war dance, consisting in a series of frenzied hops."
"...."
"Sonny?"
"Okay, first, what the hell? Second, are you saying I'm jealous of a ferret because they have better happy dances than I do?"
"Um... yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. According to Selena Gomez and Freaky Sad Kid, you have a horrible happy dance."
"Freaky Sad Kid?"
"You know... about this tall, creepy, has a snake..."
"Oh, you mean Zora."
"Who's Zora?"
"You are hopeless Chad Dylan."
"Well, you're a Random, Sonny Abigail."
"...."
"Sonny? Gosh, that's the second time you've given me that look today."
"You know my middle name, Chad."
"... no duh?"
"I never told you my middle name."
"Oh! Well, uh, it was on your, uh, So Random! application."
"Why were you looking at my So Random! application?"
"Uh..."
"Oh my god. Chad Dylan Cooper is a stalker!!!"
"Sonny, shut up! I am not a stalker!"
"You know my middle name, Chad! You know why that's creepy? You can't even remember your cast mates' first names."
"I can too!"
"Oh, yeah? What's her name?"
"Uh... Clara."
"It's Chastity, dimwit."
"Well, how do you know my cast mates' names?"
"Hello? I say hello to people, ask how they're doing. It's this magical thing called being nice."
"I am nice!"
"Sure you are, Chad, sure you are."
"I am!"
"You're such a twit, Chad."
"Well, you're such a cream puff!"
"Excuse me?! A what?!"
"A cream puff!"
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Uh..."
"Are you saying I'm fat?!"
"No! No, of course not! You're not fat!"
"Oh, really?"
"Sonny, I'm serious! Oh my god, are you crying?"
"No, I'm not!"
"Sonny. Aw, don't cry, Sonny, I didn't mean it."
"You should know better than to call a girl fat, Chad."
"I didn't call you fat! I didn't mean it like that!"
"Oh, are you sure? Just because I'm not stick-thin and anorexic means that I'm fat? Just because I actually eat real food instead of that cardboard plastic stuff, I'm fat? Just because I actually have some self-esteem and confidence, I'm fat?! Just because I-"
"...."
"...."
"Sonny? Oh, god, not again. Sonny, say something."
"You. Just. Kissed. Me."
"Well, yeah, you were rambling, so I- OW!! What the hell was that for?!"
"You jerkferret! You think you can just kiss me and make everything better?!"
"Um... yes?"
"...."
"Oh, uh no. Psh, of course not."
"...."
"Sonny, stop giving me that look."
"....."
"Sonny, I'm serious!"
"....."
"Sonny, stop that, I'm not k-"
"....."
"....."
"Whoa."
"Did you just... did you just kiss me?"
"Um...."
"Psh, I knew it. I knew you were in love with me. Couldn't resist all of this, could ya Munro- OW, DAMMIT!"
"Serves you right."
"Geez, violent, much, Munroe?"
"You deserved it, Cooper."
"So..."
"So..."
"Where does this leave us?"
"I don't know. Where do you want it to leave us?"
"Well, I really like you so, uh, *cough* will you go out with me Sonny?"
"....."
"Aw, come on, really?"
"....."
"Seriously, Sonny, I pour my heart out to you and all you can do is stand there with that look on your f-"
"....."
"....."
"Does that answer your question, hotshot?"
"Uh, I guess. Um, pick you up at 7?"
"Sure. Oh, and Chad?"
"Yes?"
"I still want my fun-genda back."
Whoo! Random fluffiness! I love it! :) I think the Fluff Busters need to be called in again.
FB: Sorry, we're on Spring Break this week.
Me: What?! The Fluff Busters get Spring Break before I do?! Unfair!
Sigh... well, I probably won't be updating a lot this week. :( But I have Spring Break next week, so I'll be sure to update all my multi-chaps at least once, if not more than that.
Peace out, suckas! :)