Ok this is my first fanfic ever! I've been having this story in mind for months and I finally decided to put it down. It starts at the beginning of season 3, no prom sex in this story, Addison and Derek divorced cause they realized their marriage wasn't working, they weren't in love with each other anymore and Derek was in love with Meredith. This is going to be a femslash. Don't like it, don't read.
English is not my first language, so please be kind. For this reason, I don't know how frequently I will update. It's kinda hard to write a whole story in English, even if I'm living in the US now. I'm still learning.
Also, I'm sorry if the first chapters are quite short. I promise I'll try to make them longer in the future.

Review are appreciated, of course.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, Meredith and Addison would be together. I wish I owned Kate Walsh cause I have a huge crush on her. But sadly, I don't.

CHAPTER 1 – Dry your eyes

"What the hell am I doing?" Addison asked herself for like the hundredth time in 5 minutes.
She was hiding. She was hiding in a supply closet, crying her eyes out for the end of her marriage.
Addison Forbes Montgomery was not one to hide. But there she was, sitting all alone in a supply closet, tears streaming down her face, ruining her perfect make up.
"What the hell am I doing?" she repeated to herself once again. "I should not cry, I should not complain. We decided this together, our marriage wasn't working anymore, we weren't in love with each other anymore. So why the hell am I crying?"
But she couldn't stop. Yes, maybe her and Derek weren't in love with each other anymore, but she couldn't help but feel sad for herself, sad for those 12 years of her life that now were gone. Forever. She knew they made the right choice, but watching Derek flirting with that 12-year-old was just too much for her.
"We just broke up and he is already flirting with her. Does he even care about me, about the end of our marriage?"
That thought only made her cry more. She was practically sobbing now. And she had no one to turn to, no one. Yes, maybe she could talk to Miranda, again, but she already bothered her too much when she was drunk at Joe's and she didn't want to embarrass herself again in front of her only friend there. She tried to call Naomi, her best friend who lived in Los Angeles, but her cell phone was off, so maybe she was busy with work too. That's why she was in that supply closet. She needed to throw everything out before going back to work and face the world.
"So much for my proud tear ducts!" she murmured, hating herself for crying that much. She hated being vulnerable, she hated losing control of herself, but she couldn't help it. She was broken. Derek broke her and all she could do was crying and feeling sorry for herself.
She didn't hear the footstep approaching, and actually, she didn't really care about what was going on outside the closet. But she was forced to look up when she heard someone opening the door, shouting "Megan!"
She could recognize that voice anywhere. But still, she couldn't believe that someone up there hated her so much. The last person she wanted to show her weakness to was there. The last person she wanted to see. Meredith Grey.
"Oh, hi..." stuttered the intern. She couldn't believe she found Dr Montgomery crying in a supply closet.
"Weren't you just up at 3? Flirting with my husband...my ex-husband?"
"I was, we...lost a patient...it's a little girl and I was just..." she started to respond, then she processed the last part of Addison's sentence. "I wasn't flirting with him!"
"Yeah sure." replied Addison sarcastically.
"No, I swear I wasn't. Are you...uhm...are you okay?"
"What do you think?" asked Addison rolling her eyes. Wasn't it obvious that she was far from okay?
"Look, Dr Montgomery..." started Meredith closing the door and sitting near Addison. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for your divorce, I'm sorry for everything. But I wasn't flirting with Derek, I...I don't want to go back with him."
"Really? Why?" asked Addison in disbelief.
"Because...I don't know, I just...I moved on, maybe. Or maybe I just realized he is not right for me. I hope it's not me the reason why you two decided to divorce."
Addison shook her head and then the two women remained in silence for a couple of minutes, Addison drying her tears.
"It's not your fault, Grey" said Addison. "None of this is your fault. You didn't know he was married, and you have been great while we were trying to rebuild our marriage. It's not your fault we broke up, we just...we just knew it wasn't working. But not because of you. It's not your fault...damn, it's not even MY fault. Yes, I slept with Mark, but our marriage was falling apart way before my affair. I'm not saying it's all on Derek, of course not. But...I don't know, I don't even know WHAT I'm saying or WHY I'm talking about this with you. I'm sorry."
"Don't be!"exclaimed Meredith, taking Addison's hand in hers. It was the spur of the moment, but it felt right. "I told you, I'm sorry, and even if you say it's not my fault, I can't help but feeling a little guilty. But Derek and I are over now, I don't want to be with him anymore, so if you need to talk to someone...you can talk to me. I mean it, Addison."
"Thank you." whispered Addison with a smile. It was weird, she didn't even know if she could actually trust Meredith. But when she looked the younger woman in the eyes she could tell she was sincere. Maybe they could be friends, after all. Or at least, they could talk sometimes.
"Weren't you looking for a little girl?" asked Addison after a long silence.
"Oh God! Yes!" Meredith stood up and hurried herself out the closet.
"Grey!" yelled Addison, calling her back. "Uhm look, could you..."
"I won't tell anyone, I promise!" smiled Meredith, closing the door and getting back to her duties.
Addison closed her eyes for a moment, thinking about the conversation she just had with Meredith.
"This is crazy!"
She adjusted herself and she went back to work.