A/N: This story has been brought to you by the Weird Ninja. At least three of the cracks have been brought to you by the Hyper Ninja.
Disclaimer: If the Weird Ninja owned Naruto she would be rich. But she doesn't, so she isn't.
"Pull your head out of your ramen and watch where you're going, Naruto!" Sakura yelled after Naruto had bumped into her on his way home from Ichiraku's with a bowl of take-out. He was eating instead of paying attention to where he was going and spilled his ramen all over the front of Sakura's dress.
"Pull your head out of Sasuke's ass and quit spilling my ramen!" Naruto was quick to respond. At the mention of her head being up Sasuke's butt, Sakura's face flushed with anger.
"You are so stupid that it takes you two hours to watch 60 Minutes," Sakura shot back hotly.
"Oh yeah…well…umm…Yo' mama!" Naruto triumphantly attempted to come back at her.
""Is that the best you can come up with, Noodle Face?" Sakura challenged. "Your sensei is so old that his Shinobi Identification Number is one!" Sakura decided to add after a couple seconds' thought.
"Sakura."
Sakura started when Kakashi said her name because she had not heard him walk up behind her. Kakashi watched Sakura carefully as she slowly turned around to face him, and he did not miss the almost imperceptible flash of jealousy that crossed her face when she saw that he was holding hands with Christine.
"I am not old," Kakashi stated darkly, being sure to put extra emphasis on not, while Christine just giggled. "Well, I'll see you guys later!" he said happily to Naruto and Sakura. "So, what were you saying, Christine? Wasn't it something about Kiba's eyebrows and implying that?" Sakura heard him say as he walked off with Christine.
"You should have seen the look on your face when you realized he heard what you said, Sakura-chan!" Naruto laughed. "Wait, it's my turn, isn't it? Um…yo' mama's so fat that when she sat on a dollar she made change!"
"Your sensei, Jiraiya, not Kakashi, is so dumb that he stared at a container of orange juice for three hours because it said 'from concentrate' on the front," Sakura said almost calmly.
"You are so dumb you sold your kunai so you could have enough money to buy a pouch to keep them in!" Naruto said a bit quicker than last time because he was getting better at thinking of cracks. By this time a small crowd of onlookers had gathered. They whispered amongst themselves about Naruto's most recent statement.
Sakura had to stop and think for a minute before coming back at Naruto, "Your sensei is so perverted that his nickname is 'DAAAAAAAAANG!'"
At this particular crack, a girl in the crowd said, "Oooohhh…Buurrrn!" Everyone else in the crowd was totally silent. The girl who had spoken, whose name happened to be Rose, just continued to innocently hold Shino's hand. "Awww…come on, Shino, can't we watch some more?" Rose complained as Shino started to walk away, dragging Rose with him.
"You're embarrassing me, Rose," was Shino's response. Rose stopped complaining almost immediately when he said that. Shino and Rose walked off happily to go get lunch together like they did almost every day.
Jiraiya also happened to be walking by and heard that particular comment. He stopped, waded through the small crowd, and proudly said, "Dang right! I'm the perviest perv in all of Konoha!"
"Oh, hello, J-Jiraiya-sama…" was all Sakura managed to stammer before Jiraiya walked away.
"Yo' mama is so ugly that her make-up ran away!" Naruto nearly yelled when Jiraiya was out of earshot. Everyone just looked confused because kunoichi usually didn't wear make-up.
Naruto was still laughing triumphantly at everyone's confusion when Hinata appeared from the crowd and tried to talk to him. "N-Naruto-kun? C-c-can I t-talk t-t-to you f-for a m-minute?" she requested so quietly that Naruto almost didn't hear her.
"What? Oh, sure we can talk, Hinata-chan, but let's go somewhere a bit quieter, like Ichiraku's," Naruto said when he realized that Hinata had asked him something. She turned pink at the thought that Naruto actually knew who she was. Naruto turned and started to walk off, Hinata followed almost jogging in order to catch up, but Sakura decided that she had one last thing to say to Naruto.
"Hey, Noodle Face! Your epidermis is showing!" Sakura yelled at Naruto and Hinata's retreating backs.
Naruto immediately stopped in his tracks, started checking to make sure that nothing embarrassing was showing, and yelled, "Holy cow! My WHAT is showing?!!?!" Hinata stopped, still a couple steps behind Naruto, and turned redder than Sakura's dress when it doesn't have ramen on it.
Sakura was laughing so hard at both Naruto's and Hinata's reactions that tears were streaming down her face. Five minutes later Hinata had not moved and was still bright red and Naruto was still frantically checking himself. Sakura eventually stopped laughing in order to tell Hinata something.
"Hinata, the epidermis is the outermost layer of your skin," Sakura said quietly so that Naruto wouldn't hear.
"Oh….I kn-knew th-that," Hinata sheepishly stuttered.
End