Performance Review

"Amanda!"

"Oh, hey, Jigsaw," Amanda said, as the cloaked man walked up to her, clipboard in hand.

"Amanda, hi, yeah, listen," Jigsaw said, "I was going over the performance reviews, new union thing, you know how it is- so, um, I took a look a list at the people that have survived the games you've set up."

"Is there a problem?" Amanda asked, curious.

"Yeah, the problem is there isn't one. Your games are inescapable. No one can win."

"And this is…bad...?" Amanda asked tentatively.

"Well, yeah," Jigsaw said, "I mean, the games are supposed to give the player some chance of survival. See, it's not fair. You have to make the game doable."

"How come?"

"Well," Jigsaw explained, "Think about it! What if you got a game-"

"What game?"

"I don't know, any game."

"Can it be Halo 3?"

"No, it can't. Halo- Listen, this is for the sake of argument. A hypothetical video game. Let's call it… X, okay?"

"That crappy game for the Game Boy?"

"No!" Jigsaw replied, exasperated, "Look, this is just a video game, okay? A random video game you ran across at GameStop or something."

"…can it be Street Fighter?"

"…no. Now, listen. You get a random game, and you spend months playing it. But then when you get to the final level, you learn you can't win. No matter what you do, the game is unbeatable."

"How come?"

"I don't know, the final boss is invincible or something," Jigsaw said.

"The final boss is Chuck Norris?"

"…yes. The final boss is Chuck Norris."

"Well, that's not fair! Then I'll never beat the game!" Amanda exclaimed.

"Exactly! And that's why you have to make your games beatable, too. Get it?"

"I guess, but still. I should be able to make the games how I want," Amanda said.

"That's what the guy who was making the Chuck Norris video game said," Jigsaw replied, "But making video games unbeatable is illegal."

"As opposed to kidnapping people and forcing them into near-death situations, which isn't illegal at all?" Amanda asked sarcastically.

"…It can never be a simple conversation with you, can it?" Jigsaw asked, walking away.

Hanging out with Teenage Jigsaw

"Hey, Jigsaw," Freddy said, as he, Jason, and Hannibal entered the house.

"Hey, guys," Jigsaw said, "I ordered the pizza, it should be here in an hour."

"Sweet," Jason said, "But…what do we do in the meantime?"

"Would you like to play a game?" Jigsaw asked.

Everyone fell silent.

"I got Monopoly. Life. Mousetrap." Jigsaw said, pulling out the board games.

Everyone looked at the teen.

"It's a crazy contraption?"