Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the TMNT franchise or the characters in it.
The show on tv wasn't all that good, but it was on at two in the morning. Can't ask for more than that. Well I could, but then Mikey would say something smart and the world would end. So, no. I can't ask for more.
Raph came in from the kitchen and flopped onto the sofa.
"What are you doing up?" He shot me a look and grumbled something less than complimentary under his breath before turning back towards the tv.
I wiggled my backside deeper into the seat cushion and preceded to ignore him.
We just sat there for a while watching the show.
"Dat guy's a bad kisser."
"Why do you say that?" I was a little surprised he had spoken.
He turned to me again, the light from the television making weird shadows on his face. I wondered for a moment if that was what we looked like when we saved someone in a dark alley, and if that's why they always screamed.
"He's all sloppy, like dis." Raph made uncoordinated kissing motions with the air in front of his face and fumbled his hands every which way around an invisible waist. His feet lifted off the ground with his efforts, he was so focused on showing me exactly what the guy was doing wrong.
He stopped and looked at me expectantly, waiting for a response. He got tired of that after a moment though and turned his attention back to the show.
I spent the next scene coming to terms with what I had just seen. If previous experience was anything to judge by, I would need to mediate for a couple hours after the show to completely erase the experience from my conscious and subconscious mind. I hate it when things like that happen; the repercussions always take too long to sort out.
Having put the sight of Raph doing that out of my mind for at least the duration of the show, I asked him another question.
"So what's a good kiss like then?" I dug an old popcorn kernel out from between the couch cushions and started inspecting it.
"Well..." he drawled out and leaned nonchalantly against the sofa, throwing an arm around the back, essentially strutting his "stuff" while sitting down. Whenever I try to do that Don usually laughs at me and says something about the last incident with the toaster. I glared at Raph over the kernel between my fingers, just a little jealous.
He continued, "It's sorta like... uh," he scratched around his mask trying to come up with good explanation. "Ya know what, if you're gonna kiss someone just make sure dey're Italian or somethin'."
"Why an Italian?" Satisfied, I popped the kernel into my mouth and started to grind it absentmindedly between my molars.
"Dey're just better."
I asked Raph another question before I could think of all the unsatisfactory results, mentally cringing at my own slip up.
"How do you know that?"
He shot me a glance, eyes glinting in the dark room, offset by the light from the tv screen.
"Wouldn't ya like ta know." A smirk turned his lips up the slightest bit.
I blanched and choked on the kernel.
...
...
"Hey, Leo, you okay over dere?"
This is exactly why we try to avoid talking to each other.
Well, that and the yelling thing.
A/N: I've just been in the mood for TMNT in the last couple of days, so I couldn't resist writing this up. I haven't had much practice writing for this fandom however, so any advice would be extremely welcome.
Out of curiosity, how do you usually see Raphael's accent written?