You Lied
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Summary: You lied to them. You lied to each and every one of them and you made them believe you. But, by far, the worst part is, you lied to yourself–and you believed it.
They say you loved him since you met him. That he was all you ever wanted. Him and only him. You knew they were right, you knew that it was true. You've had a crush on him since the day you've met him... and whenever he spoke you became more and more into the thought of dating him. More and more into the thought of him loving you.
But the years passed and that hope was wanted no more. You didn't want to sit there hoping that he'll talk to you, and see you and love you. You didn't have the faith you used to call your own. You used to believe in miracles—for miracles are what he was made of. His survival was a miracle.
You began to acknowledge your feelings. You began to go for other guys. Closer ones, in age and distant. Distant both physically and emotionally. He was far off in the distance... he wasn't waiting for you.
So you told your friends that you didn't like him anymore. They knew better than to believe it, but after two weeks with a new guy, it started to become more and more noticeable. Why would you kiss another guy if you only wanted him? Why would you hold another guys hand? Why would you listen to another guys feelings if the only ones you cared about were his?
After a while, it was common knowledge that you didn't like him. It was known that you were a different girl, and you weren't waiting for him any longer. You had become so good at convincing everyone you were over him, you convinced yourself. You lied to yourself.
You lied to them. You lied to each and every one of them and you made them believe you. But, by far, the worst part is, you lied to yourself–and you believed it.
You thought you were over the Boy-Who-Lived in your fourth year, and his fifth. You thought he didn't matter, that he wasn't as cute as before. You never thought you were doing that, it never crossed your mind when you told Hermione. You knew Harry would know of your lack of feelings by two weeks later. And he did.
They think you don't like him anymore. He thinks you don't like him anymore. You believed yourself, and that your feelings were over. You convinced everyone that would listen that you do not fancy him anymore. That you do not stare at him, and that you do not enjoy his company. That you do not want him anymore. You convinced them all... and convinced yourself.
You lied.