We were on my bed, his one arm around my waist and my head on his chest hearing his slow breathing. I knew I would never get to hear the slow and rhythmic beating of his heartbeat, but I didn't care. All I cared was him and it will always be the same way. His hand started to make small circles on my back, which was a clear indication that he was deep in thought. I decided I won't disturb him. I knew he would not like it, even if he didn't say it out loud. It was past one in the night.

"Edward..." I said almost in a whisper.

"Hmm..." He seemed really deep in thought. I regretted calling him as soon as I said his name.

"You aren't asleep yet?"

"I don't think I am going to sleep tonight."

"What's wrong?" He asked getting a little tensed.

"Nothing. You are just deep in thought. Tell me what are you thinking?"

"It's nothing that important."

"But you can tell me."

"I told you it's nothing honey. Now sleep." he said as he kissed the top of my head.

"I told you I don't want to." I said looking up at him now.

"Then what do you want to do?' He asked very slowly.

"I want to talk to you. You haven't talked much today."

"Well we can do that tomorrow too, or day after tomorrow. We have eternity to spend together, unless you have decided to change your mind."

"No I haven't and nor am I ever going to." I said sternly and he smiled back. I reached up to kiss his lips. He responded immediately by kissing me back. I placed my head on the pillow so that I was facing him now. He still looked a little in thought.

"What happened?" I asked getting a little nervous.

"It's nothing sweetheart I told you."

"If it's nothing then can I ask you something? I have been meaning to ask you this but..." I trailed off.

"What is it?"

"You will be angry."

"No I'll not be."

"Yes you will be."

"Bella, you know you can ask me anything. Please?" He was looking straight in my eyes. His golden eyes had no emotions in them.

"What was it like before me?" I knew I should have not asked him this. He grew very still, his grip around me tightened.

"I have already told you this." he said almost what felt like an hour.

"Yes but..." He didn't let me finish.

"But nothing now sleep."

"Alright." I closed my eyes in disappointment. He had already told me how it was for him before me. But I knew he edited a very great part of it and I intended to hear it fully.

"Bella, I didn't mean to hurt you." he said. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me with apologetic eyes.

"I know. I just wanted to know."

"You already know everything."

"No I don't. If you think I don't know that you haven't told a major part of it then you are wrong."

"Alice..." he said almost in a growl.

"No not her."

"Now if you think I don't know then you are wrong."

"I want to know." I said stubbornly.

"Ok...it was the day when you were born." he said.

"What?" I asked almost shocked. I hadn't thought anything like this.

"Yes. It was the day you were born Bella. That was the day when I had lost all my control that I had gained in these 100 yrs."

"Edward I don't..." I trailed off.

"I know that you do not understand what I am saying. I'll tell you. You know, I have always been alone in my life. I have lived more than 100yrs...all alone. I thought I was complete, that I don't need anyone to complete myself. I was happy, very happy. It was a week before you were born. Alice had some visions, very unusual visions, which I had considered impossibility at that time. She didn't want to tell anyone that she had those visions, at least not before telling me. She came up to my room, caught my hand and flew out the window. She didn't say a single word; she had blocked all her thoughts so I wouldn't come to know anything. We ran in deep in the forest. We were almost at the heart of the forest, very far away from the hearing range of my family. She at once started shoving her visions in my mind, they were not clear, they were blur images. I was...was shocked. I didn't know how to react. She was too shocked like me. We stood their for a long time, taking our own time to absorb whatever we saw. Then slowly I gained control over myself and realized what had happened. I started to hear her happy thoughts. She was happy and so...was I. Yes I was happy. Happy after coming to know that their was someone out their for me. I felt happiness like I had never in my entire life...in my entire 100yrs. We decided not tell anyone. We kept it between us."

He let out a long breath, looked at me and kissed my forehead with content and happiness and then he continued,

"A week later I was sitting on my piano bench, trying to make some music with the help of the visions which Alice had showed me a week before. Esme was happy because I had touched my piano after a long time. I had almost given up my music and seeing me again getting into music was making her happy. I was really immersed in music when...when...I don't know what to call it."

I had never seen him struggle for words before.

"It felt like a...a blow. Yes it was blow. A very strong blow of...of emotions. At that very moment...several...emotions started playing inside me. I had never felt such a sever blow of emotions in my entire life. Jasper noticed it and I gave me a questioning look, but started giving calm waves in my direction. I knew this would not work. I stood up and ran in the forest, ignoring their questioning looks. I ran at my full speed. I didn't have the slightest idea where I was going, but it seemed like my legs knew where to go. I had almost pushed half a dozen tress out of my way in order to run, run to where I didn't know. Alice had caught up with me and had managed to stop me from running forwards. She told me why I was feeling strong emotions. It was because...you were born at that time. Yes, that was what it was. You were born. The moment you entered this world my whole body ached for you, my arms wanted to hold you, to feel you, so that I could tell myself that you were real. I wanted you so badly at that very moment that it became very difficult for me to control myself. I was running towards you, so that I could get what's mine. We came back home. No one asked what went wrong, for which I would be forever grateful to them. I sat in my room the whole day. I knew Jasper was having difficulty understanding my emotions, but I did not care. For what I cared was when I would meet you, hold you and say that I love you. Later on Alice showed me the same visions, but now they weren't blurred like they were a week before, instead they were... crystal clear, clear because you came in this world and mine too. "

He looked at me. Their were tears rolling down my cheeks. He wiped them off with his finger.

"Now you see, I have loved you since even before you were born."

"But I love you too."

"I know." He smiled and kissed me passionately.

I knew I would never be able to love him as much as he loves me, but I knew one thing that I'll always love him even after I die.