Unca Jeem's Adventures in BabySitting Class
Chapter One - Introduction to BabySitting
On the Enterprise
7 May 2270
Jim dressed carefully in civilian clothing, a favorite pair of well-broken in jeans and a pullover sweater. He brushed his hair and teeth. Had to look good today. He headed for the mess hall. This was earlier than most people ate breakfast on Saturday, but he had an appointment at 0800 this morning. One he was most definitely not looking forward to. He had even left the TGIF party early last night to ensure that he got sufficient sleep and would be awake and alert this morning. This was so not fair! He heaved a sigh as he got up and carried his tray to the busing station, emptied it and slid it into the recycle slot. He grabbed a sealed damp wipe from the bowl there and quickly ran it over his hands and face and dropped it through the slot as well. Time to go.
Off down the corridor to a part of the ship he was seldom in. This was the area where the day care center and school rooms were. He knew they were here, he had even seen them, but it had been years since he was down here. He felt uncomfortable. And it was only going to get worse.
With a deep sigh he entered the designated room. There was a middle-aged woman in Medical blues standing there. This must be the instructor for the class. He didn't really think it was necessary to introduce himself, but he sucked it up and did anyway. She smirked at him and ticked his name off on her list. "Please take a seat anywhere, Jimmy."
He gawped at her. Jimmy? Nobody had called him that in many years.
"We only use first names here." She looked straight at him. "And I know exactly why you're here, so go sit down."
He certainly wasn't used to being addressed like that, but he swallowed his indignation and tried to find a seat that was big enough to be comfortable.
The remainder of the class filed in by twos and threes and in a few minutes all the seats were full - of giggling teen-aged girls. Oh, this was going from bad to worse.
The instructor called the roll, asking each person to stand when their name was called and give a short description of previous babysitting experience. When it was his turn, he rose, extremely self-conscious. "Hi, my name is...Jimmy. And I only have one experience with babysitting, when I took care of the son of friends of mine for one day while they had to be off-ship." He sat down again in a hurry.
"And how old was this child, Jimmy?"
"Uh, almost two, I think."
"Okay, class, now here we have something that you all need to be aware of. One of the most important things you need to know about your charges is their age. So Jimmy, your first piece of homework for next week is to find out exactly how old your little charge was on the day you took care of him." She glared at him and he swallowed.
"Yes, ma'am." What else could he say?
"Now take out your PADDs and get ready to take notes."
PADDs? He was supposed to bring a PADD? He didn't remember that in the notice. He got a very reproving look from the instructor as she handed him a very well-worn PADD and a crooked stylus. "You must transfer your notes onto your own PADD and return this one next week." She glared at him once more.
"Yes, ma'am." This was getting monotonous.
"The first topic for today is 'How to Obtain Information from the Family about the Child'." He would have sworn that she was speaking with capital letters.
"Each of you should have received a copy of the Child Information Sheet. You are allowed to make modifications to this form as it is just a template. You may add questions, decorate the form, add music to it, just use your imagination. When you are satisfied, then save the form and always make a copy to take with you on every babysitting job. Now we're going to go through the questions so that you understand each one thoroughly. The first question is the child's name. It is absolutely essential that you know the child's full name, as well as any nicknames that the child has. Who can explain why?" She looked around at the wildly waving hands, but for some unknown reason, she called on him. "Can you tell us, Jimmy?"
"Uh, so the child will come when you call?"
"Well, I wouldn't put it quite that way, but that is part of the reason, yes. Very good. In order to facilitate proper interaction, the child must be addressed in a familiar manner."
Lord, this woman must have taken speaking lessons from Spock! How the heck was he supposed to put up with eight weeks of this?
"Now the next question is the child's sex. Who can say why this question is on the form?"
Kid's have sex? Couldn't be. He shook his head. Oh, she means what is the sex of the child. Yeah, right. Male, female. Oh, wait, the Andorians have four sexes. Hmm. Guess it does matter.
The questions droned on and on. After two hours, the topic changed. Now they were learning about the stages of child development. Who knew? This was wild stuff. After another hour, the topic changed to nutrition. He learned more about what kids should eat and why than he had any desire for.
At last the four hours was up. He sighed in relief.
"Now be sure to read the material for the next class and don't forget your PADDs next time! And complete the homework and send it to me by Friday morning. That's all, see you next Saturday."
Wait a minute! HOMEWORK? Reading assignment? It wasn't bad enough he had to give up his Saturday mornings, now he was going to have to find more time for this stupid class. He waited until all the giggly girls had left the room before rising from the too-small chair and stretching the kinks out. He took off for 'his' part of the ship as fast as he could. He was almost clear of this part of the ship when Spock came around the corner, Grayson balanced on his left hip.
"Unca Jeem, Unca Jeem! Did you like your class? Was it fun?"
"Yeah, kid, sure. Lots of fun." He ran his hand through his hair and looked ruefully at Spock. "I was damned stupid and you're never going to let me forget it, are you?"
"I will let you forget as soon as you have successfully completed the course." The voice was calm and level, but Jim was sure he saw a twinkle in the eyes.