Earning Forgiveness
Chapter 1- The power of love.
Jeremy,
Well, well, well. Jeremy, how on earth did you get free? Not to worry; I will find you soon enough. When I do, I believe we need a serious chat.
You understand my shock then when I see this letter on my TARDIS? After reading it I believe you have earned this reply. When I find you, and I will, I hope you have read this and maybe then you will understand the other side of your tale.
It's over… you win. The Doctor always wins, I realise that now.
Yes I win, but not without suffering, you do realise that, do you not? Every moment of that day I dreaded with every single beat of my hearts. Now I must find you and do it again for I cannot leave you to roam free, for that I am sorry… for the both of us.
All I remember is falling to the floor, my hands grew slick with mud. We were deceived by such a small little trick. You told us to run and so we did, right into a fate worse than death. Fear grew in me as I tore my head up to see what had happened.
Ah, yes, I bargained on your will to survive and sure enough you ran. Ran and ran until you fell and stumbled. All my doing and it worked.
But you know the worst part…
… you, towering over me, a look of absolute … disappointment on your face. Not fury or contemplation, just disappointment.
So you do feel emotion? Shall I tell you what I saw in your eyes for comparison? I saw fear… pure fear. And every second I glanced in every single pair of eyes, I hated myself for what I had to do. I could not allow to try this stunt again.
It was the worst thing I could have seen, for then I had nothing to say. If you were angry I could have argued back, it would have been better then silence.
You surprise me; I wondered why you said not a thing. We just stared at each other, eyes unable to break away.
Then you began to speak.
"No second chances." My heart sank, so you were planning to kill us. Ha. Little did I know what you had planned was so much worse. Death is easy, quick. Immortality lasts a lifetime.
You believed I would kill you? If you truly believe that then you do not know me. Never will I kill for selfish and stupid reasons. You were simply a child who would one day see the error of your ways; you did not know what you were doing really. You just mimicked what your 'father' told you.
Hmm, I see the years have wizened you greatly. Now you see the curse of immortality. The surface has been scratched away and you see the real value of living forever, nothing. If anything I am proud you have learned this lesson.
When you stooped down and held out your hand to my sister, I flinched, trying to save her yet I new it was futile, best just accept my death and die peacefully.
More emotion, yet this I saw in you even then. Love. You loved your sister like any other brother. If I started with her, I knew she would not make a fuss; she would be the easiest to deal with.
My sister gingerly extended her little fingers towards you. When her skin met yours you snapped your hand over her; she was snared, trapped.
From that moment on I would have done anything you said. If you told me to kill a thousand men I would have without falter. If you told me to end my own life I would have done it without a second's hesitation as long as it guaranteed her safety; it's how much she meant to me. My sister may not have said much but her affection was unparalleled. We look after each other, my family. A family of blood we were but at least we stayed together.
It was the one way to ensure obedience. I did not harm her but I knew the effect it would have on you. And this is what you have described to me. Simply put; you would do absolutely anything to ensure that little girls safety. Love is curious emotion isn't it. It is the most destructive. Men will fight for love, blood spilled, lives lost. Now you see why I do not love when I can help it.
And I saw you there, watching you, watching me, your eyes smouldering depths of pain. It hurt you to do this. Then you crooked your finger at me, commanding me towards you. With a tear down my cheek I took a step forward, and another, until I stood by you side, under your watchful gaze, where I belonged.
It was not I who commanded you; you saw it as the logical option to take to, once again, minimise the suffering of Lucy.
I was trapped too.
Trapped. Indeed you were. Trapped by love.
So I was thinking: how can you have letters without replies? And by the sounds of it you wanted some Doctor's POV and therefore I gave it to you! Hope you enjoy and please REVIEW!