TITLE: "Better than the Truth"
AUTHOR:
Doctor Strangelove
RATING:
PG
CONTENT:
Teensy bit of language, but mostly I just don't think angst should be rated G.
GENRE:
Romance/Angst
SPOILERS:
"The Gift"
DISCLAIMER:
I'm just borrowing these characters. I'll put them back when I'm done.
SUMMARY:
A missing scene from "The Gift". Sequel to "Given the Chance" but can be read
as a stand-alone.
"Weapons in the chest by the TV. I'll grab
the stuff upstairs."
"Uh, Buffy…"
Buffy turned
around and looked at me. She's forgotten. I gently run my fingers along the
threshold to remind her, "If you wanna just hand them
over the threshold-"
"Come in, Spike,"
I try to pretend I'm not moved by those words. I don't think I'm doing a very
good job, "Presto. No barrier," I walk into her living room and towards the
weapon chest, "Won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should
hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself."
"We're not all
gonna make it. You know that."
I know. I pick up
some axes and walk over to Buffy, "Yeah. Hey, I always knew I'd go down
fighting. Sure as hell never thought it'd be on this side," Under my breath I
added, "Or for this reason."
"I'm counting on
you, Spike. To protect her."
"Till the end of
the world. Even if that happens to be tonight. Nobody touches the Little Bit
while Spike's around. I promise."
Buffy turned and
headed upstairs, "I'll be one minute."
This is it,
Spike. Your last chance. "I know you'll never love me."
She turned and
looked at me. She didn't say anything. "I know that I'm a monster. But you
treat me like a man, and that's…" I couldn't finish, "Get your stuff. I'll be
here."
Buffy looked at
me for a minute and went upstairs. I sighed and sat down on the stairs. I
stared at the axes by my side and felt the words swell up inside of me, "That's
the most important thing to me. Sometimes, I think it's even better than you
loving me. Just letting me be your friend," I scoffed. Little late.
"Spike?" I looked
up and saw Buffy at the top of the stairs holding a picture frame. Did she
hear me?
"What is it?"
She walked down
the stairs with tears in her eyes and handed me the frame. It was a picture of
her with Dawn and her mom. She's already lost one. So had I. She may lose
another. Hell, all of them could be dead before the night's over.
Buffy collapsed
into my lap and started weeping. If this had been a few months ago I would've
taken advantage of this situation. Not now. Not with all that's going on. I
love her too much to do that.
"I wonder," she
started to say while still staring at the ground, "If Dawn knows how I feel. Or
if she just thinks that because she's not really my sister, she's not worth
saving. Then I think that she could die without knowing how much I love her."
"Maybe it's
better that way. In case she dies, or Glory kills you. Maybe it's betterto ust
not know. So, that you won't think you missed out on anything while you were
alive. Plus, it make the funeral a hell of a lot easier," Buffy looked up at me
with a strange look on her face. Horror? Disgust? Sadness? Sympathy? I couldn't
tell. I smiled a little, "But that's just me."
She smiled and
stood up, "I'll go get the weapons."
"Listen to me!
There's no time, Dawn, please listen," I brought Dawn close to make sure she
could hear me, "Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you," Spike's wrong, She has
to know. "I'll always love you. But this is the work I have to do. Tell
Giles I figured it out. And I'm okay. Give my love to my friends," The words
were coming out when I heard Spike's voice in my head. "So, that you won't
think you missed out on anything while you were alive." "You have to take
care of them now- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong,
Dawn. The hardest thing in this world-" "-is loving someone who used to love
you." Darla's words still rung in my ears as I thought of Spike. "-is to
live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."
I wiped a tear away
and kissed Dawn. I took a moment to remember her face. I turned around and ran.
I couldn't help letting the tears fall as I thought of Dawn and what Spike
meant to say back at my house. I couldn't let him know, but I had to say what I
wanted to tell Dawn, "And tell Spike," I took a breath as I reached the edge of
the platform, "I love him." I jumped and his words echoed in my head, and then
there was pain, and then there was nothing. Nothing at all.
"Maybe it's
better to just not know…"
