As he nears the door he can hear his heartbeat above the hustle and bustle of the hallway. Stopping he looks down to see his usually steady hands shaking and winces recalling a time that his hand trembled due to an injury. In an attempt to compose himself, he closes his eyes reminding himself of how far he and the source of these particular tremors have come since that time. Immediately his face changes but too soon his mind shifts to the many warnings she gave him. Time and again he ignored them and now he is having second thoughts. Their relationship is full of steps he's asked her to take and she is preparing to take the biggest one yet he isn't ready. He's not proud but he knows he has to live with his choices so he begins walking again. Before she came into his life, he never had a problem knowing the right thing to do.
His mind drifts as his knuckles hit the door of her room. Before he can change his mind, it opens slightly to reveal the questioning eyes of her best friend. He goes to speak but words escape him so he clears his throat instead and offers a tentative smile. From inside he can hear her protests as she gets ready and his body relaxes. Hearing his name he is brought back to reality by the set of questioning eyes. In a manner that is much clumsier than usual, he explains as his unsympathetic audience grows on both sides of the door. In spite of the arguing and the accusations of broken traditions and poor judgment, he is determined to make things right. He needs this as much as he needs anything.
Finally, they grant his request to speak to her. They hesitate to leave the room until her best friend begins ushering them out. His grateful smile is met by a reminder that time is limited and a lingering look of concern. Walking into the room he doesn't see her and says her name. The familiar voice speaks to him behind the dressing screen as she resists the temptation to disobey her mother's instruction to avoid breaking any more traditions.
As she begins to speak the words of a nervous bride he silences her. All that he cares about is in this room and the rest of the world will have to wait. Knowing exactly what he has to do, he needs her only to listen.
Blind to her face he knows that she is confused by his presence, concerned even, and he asks for her hand as reassurance. Her touch is electric and he hears her breathing quicken. He smiles as she is the first to squeeze his hand and as he squeezes back time stands still. Even with the dressing screen between them, he's never felt closer to her yet something is not right. The moistness of her hand returns his attention back to the room that is now engulfed in awkward silence.
He begins to explain in a way that only she could understand but his failure is clear as he feels her fingers loosen and her hand begins to slip away. He tightens his grip as if his life depends on maintaining this one embrace. Taking a deep breath, he starts again with an 'I love you.' His voice is low as he uses the tone that is and always will be reserved only for her.
She is who he wants more than anything. Honored that she trusts him with her heart, he is her's in every way. She doesn't need to be anyone else not even that person he tries to change her into.
He knows he is the lucky one in this relationship. To be the man that she chooses to wake up with every morning. To be the man with whom she believes it's worth trying to have it all. He believes in her and all that they can be.
These vows are what he needs her to know and the right thing was to speak them to her before sharing them with an audience. The foundation of their relationship is a collection of private moments from which they meticulously choose what the world will see. That is what makes everything right between them.
As she yells at him for messing up her makeup, he grins knowing it's because she wipes away her tears instead of just letting them fall. Releasing her hand he slowly moves towards the door pausing only to look back as he says goodbye to Cristina Yang for the final time.