Author's Notes: Set immediately after season 3 episode 'Hole in the Sky.' This started off as a piece centered on a solitary Allura, then Lance made an appearance.
Genres: Angst, friendship
A Question of Morality
by Crow-Black Dream
High in the Castle of Lions Allura worked her way through the labyrinth hallways, trying and failing to find peace of mind. It was too much to be pent up in her room alone with today's adventure into another reality replaying ceaselessly in her head, so she set to wandering and worrying as she so often did. She turned a corner and was faced with a bank of elevators. Once the lift was summoned she selected a random button and leaned against the rear wall while the car descended.
She remembered Commander Hira's stern, angular face barking at her, "You're no empress of mine!"
Allura had quipped back, "And you're no Altean!"
The Alteans lived pacifistically for decaphebes before the Lions of Voltron were crafted, always proclaiming themselves to be a planet of diplomats and peacekeepers. If, however, one had ample time and focus to read abroad on the history of Altea, as Princess Allura did, one would discover that their rigor for keeping up appearances eclipsed the occasionally brutal methods used to enforce their policies when they found themselves stepping into the affairs of warring worlds. If one read even further back in time they would learn about the feudalistic nations that spilled blood over contested borders of Altea itself, until at last the glorious Unified World was born. If one could find the right literature they may or may not be surprised to discover assimilation and eugenics research at work right up until the great war preceding Voltron.
So exactly where did they stand in the spectrum of morality?
It pained her to praise the marvelous achievements of her people without speaking of their shadows, for it felt like lying by omission. She had voiced these doubts upon first reading about the atrocities, and King Alfor's answer was a little too simplistic: "Be aware of what is behind you, yet always keep your eyes forward."
Her knees trembled as she clutched at the handrail, sick with the idea that perhaps her father's philosophy had factored into the downfall of Altea.
An older, darker notion stepped into the forefront of her mind: perhaps, considering the sort of scientific research being applied by her species, it was best that they were exterminated.
"How dare you think such things!" she chastised herself in a hiss. There were far more important issues at hand, primarily the comet which was likely being refined for Galra weaponry at this very moment. Her mind had fruitlessly worked around that problem all evening until she was too exhausted to think of it anymore. Rather than disconnect altogether in favor of sleep her brain conjured up new anxieties such as this unrelenting curiosity about who she was in another life, one that ended millenia ago. It was frightening to know that in an alternate reality you left a very large mark on the universe in the form of bloodless domination. She was left wondering exactly when those Alteans went wrong. Was the alternate Allura the one who led them astray, or did they veer off the path in the generations after her time? If her alternate self contained such destructive power, did she? Suddenly she was uncertain about everything, even the strength of her convictions.
The elevator opened into the hub of corridors that lead to the lions. Allura considered her options before she marched down the passageway toward Blue. It was only right; Blue was hers now. She still didn't know how to feel around the difficult beast she considered to be a living machine. Her place was on the bridge, watching and commanding, not among those who had earned the paladin title. It seemed fate had other plans.
Too preoccupied to be fully aware, she completely missed Lance draped lazily across Blue's right front paw and fast asleep. Allura realized this all too late as the echo of her heavy footsteps betrayed her presence. He drew a breath and sat straight up in one motion, looking around defensively yet bleary-eyed. Had she known he was there she would've softened her footfalls and retreated into the hallway, for right now all she wanted was solitude.
"Hey, Princess," he scratched his scalp. Allura caught the melancholy inflection in those two words.
"Lance, what are you doing down here?"
"Just hanging out with ol' Blue. Must've dozed off. I, uh… I miss her," he gestured up at his original lion. "Red and I don't really jive yet."
"That's a familiar conundrum," Allura glanced up into the mechanical cat's eyes.
"Seems like we all have a lot of processing to do since we started shuffling around the lions. Even before then, probably. Since Shiro disappeared."
That name hung in the air between them. Neither one dared to speak more of the missing black paladin, nor did Allura know what to do next. Finally Lance asked, "What's up with you?"
"Well, I thought it may be a good idea to spend time here with my new lion…" When Lanced slowly looked her up and down, examining her brushed-out hair and night dress along with his normal annoying habit of checking out her face and form, she dropped the flimsy lie to begin again, "I've been troubled by the Alteans aboard that ship."
"You mean those people with the brainwashing machines?" Lance burst out incredulously. "What a bunch of sick, power-hungry freaks. The best part was how they lied about their good intentions!"
With a shudder Allura remembered the way Hira described their motives. "I don't think it was a lie. To them it was genuinely for the sake of pacifism."
Lance, childlike as he could be, drummed his heel against Blue's foot plating. "Are you seriously justifying what they did right now? You can't believe everything they say just because they're Altean! Think of all the 'pacifism' that happened when they were getting those people lined up for mind control devices!"
"I'm not justifying what they did, I'm rationalizing their mindset!" Allura defended. "My obligations as an agent of peace require me to understand both sides of a conflict. See through the enemy's eyes, feel their driving fears which we interpret as sinister motives!"
"Really," he snorted and mocked, "Do you try to see through Galra eyes? What about that non-cog?"
She huffed but was otherwise silenced, unable forget the eyes of the lumbering servant laden with dull embers that were once flares of intelligent life. That creature's countenance didn't seem right, yet she had ignored the intuitive knot in her stomach.
When she spoke again her tone was apologetic. "You're right. The enthusiasm for investigating that false signal blinded me to the dangers. I so wanted to see my people flourish again. Instead they turned out to be just as loathsome as the Galra. They're still out there in another universe thriving like a cancer, seeking to pierce the barriers between our existence and theirs. We can only hope there is no more of that element in their realm."
Lance couldn't find any words sufficient to convey how sorry he felt for her. He was too inundated with his own issues to fully empathize with her, though he recognized the distress written in the lines of her face. All he could manage was, "Hey, for every reality where the Alteans rule, there's another reality where we've already won, and another where Voltron was never needed in the first place."
That concept cheered Allura for a moment. She then sighed, "We live in the one where Lotor has enough ore to produce a weapon capable of defeating Voltron."
"Yeah… I don't know what we're supposed do at this point," Lance stared wistfully at his old lion.
"I'm too worn out to think more on it tonight," Allura sat with her arms around her folded legs and her chin resting on her crossed wrists. "It's exhausting to be the defenders of the universe, isn't it?"
"You don't even know the half of it as a paladin."
"I'm going to learn all about it. As much as I loathe the idea of leaving my post, a commander must have experience in the field."
Lance clicked his tongue. "It's gonna take some time to get used to the switch in the chain of command, but really, it'll be good to have you with us. After all, you're the leader of the team."
Allura opened her mouth to argue that first, there was a difference between tactical command and leadership, and second, she was no leader among the paladins.
Lance knew was she meant to say. "There can be more than one leader, y'know. Keith is the head, and before him it was Shiro. But you've always been the heart."
The princess smiled at that. "Lance, that is incredibly sweet. And it's also one of the most trite things I've ever heard."
"You're welcome," said Lance, who didn't know the meaning of 'trite.'
The two stood staring at the lion for some time. Lance's eyes narrowed while a thought formed. "I don't suppose you ladies want to go out for a ride, do you? It's a nice night."
"Lance, it's always night in outer space."
"Which proves my point. I bet we can see a lot of stars out there." When she laughed he wheedled, "C'mon, I just want to go with Blue and she won't let me fly her. Please."
Princess Allura could not deny such a request. She pointed at the lockers and said, "Suit up."
The hour was late and the others were likely asleep. Lance hovered over Allura's shoulder while she brought the systems online and set the airlocks in motion without a radio announcement to the bridge, as there was no one to hear it. Better that way, she reasoned. Sometimes a clandestine trip outside the castle could be good for the soul.
She kept Blue's thrusters low to avoid producing large energy signatures or vibrations within the castle. Neither she nor Lance remembered to breathe until they cleared the bay, nor did they say a word until they were rocketing along the field of stars. Once they were distanced from the nearest sun's glare on the castle Lance tapped a button that shut off the underglow of cabin lights.
Allura let Blue take the lead. The ship would sometimes bank to one side or another, or the throttles would pull against her hands. The thrusters fired without any prompting to adjust the pitch. Meanwhile Blue's two paladins silently took in the course. Comets frequently streaked by and beyond, a planet's atmosphere churned in bands of purple, gray and orange gases. Dense, gritty clouds bled together to form new lightning-laced torrents which radiated whispers of radio static.
"When I was a kid I had this thing called a lava lamp. It was shaped kinda like this," Lance's hands traced an hour glass outline, "filled with water and wax, heated from a light bulb at the bottom. The wax would melt and float to the top, cool off and fall back down. Nights when I couldn't sleep I'd lie there in my bed watching it. Kinda hypnotic, but in a good way. Soothing. This sorta reminds me of it."
There definitely was a peculiar tranquility to be found in the perpetually dissolving layers. It felt good to unfocus the eyes and enjoy the ball of colors slowly shifting against an inert background. Allura's mind was quiet for now, occupied only by the vague awareness that while it wasn't the often-dreamed of satisfaction to be found in finally establishing universal peace, it was a tiny slice of serenity.
Out here she could disengage for a while.
Allura meditated upon the sight with a prayer of gratitude. Lance was silent beside her, also entranced. Even Blue seemed to feel it as a purr rumbled all around them. When the princess regained her senses she turned a little and studied the serious set of his mouth below a half-focused gaze. The strife was beginning to show in his face all the time now, and she didn't see the jovial facet of his personality as often anymore. He had a certain darkness to contend with just as she had hers.
"Every so often in good moments like this, I wish I could make time stop," she sighed.
"You and me both, lady," Blue's former pilot twisted his lips into an inviting pucker and the visor of his helmet retracted in anticipation of a kiss. There it was, that classic Lance attempt at charm.
With a grin she reached up and twisted his lips a little further.
"Mmph!" he screeched against her fingers.
The quiet moment of tranquility was over, and she was okay with it. Without warning she cranked the ship's throttle open and pulled one of the hand controls back. The lion veered with Lance clutching at the back of the seat and Allura couldn't hold in the joyous peals of laughter as she rolled the ship around on its axis. Onward to the battleship they called home.
++End++