30 Reasons why Bella should choose Mike Newton
Warning: Beware. Sarcasm is lurking everywhere.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Twilight series, not even Mike Newton.
Bella should choose Mike Newton, because…
1. He is blonde.
2. He has those washed-out blue eyes that remind you of hmm… Well, if you look into them very intensely, it's like you can see Mike's mind, his whole being, it's like looking into the deepness of a very shallow puddle.
3. He is the most popular guy at Forks High School and Bella, like any other girl, must be incredibly grateful to be called Mike Newton's girlfriend. It's an honor.
4. He can wear his hair in the same perfectly arranged disarray as Edward does.
5. He will be kind of a wealthy man when he inherits Newton's Outfitters.
6. He is Bella's faithful golden retriever.
7. He is a very good kisser. Eric Yorkie can attest that. (Well, in 8th grade at Jessica's birthday party, when they played truth or dare …)
8. He's a ladies man. Ask the ladies. Ask Mike.
9. He is the only one of the volleyball team at the gym class who doesn't get mad at Bella when they lose because of her clumsiness.
10. He is always nice to Bella.
11. He was the first to have laid claim to Bella. (Well, technically speaking, Eric was the first, but he's a geek.)
12. He's way hotter than Tyler. Ask Jessica. But don't ask Lauren.
13. He is reliable.
14. He isn't afraid of puking on the floor of cinema toilets.
15. He is human and no freaking monster.
16. He is the most loyal and persistent admirer ever.
17. He was nice to Bella even during her horrible anti-social zombie time of life.
18. He was really happy when the old Bella was back after that zombie state, unlike some of her other "friends" at school.
19. He is actually really good-looking. Don't forget that!
20. He is cute.
21. He can cook. I'm sure he can.
22. He is very attentive.
23. He could protect Bella from geeks like Eric, or jerks like Crowley, Cullen or Black.
24. He would never leave Bella. Never ever. – Well, maybe if Rosalie said she wanted him…
25. He is not gay, though some weird people have stated that repeatedly. (A/N cough gay I say cough)
26. Charlie wouldn't mind.
27. His mom would be so glad that the boy had finally found a nice girl. She was kind of worried for some time.
28. He always saves a seat for Bella, in classes or at lunch. And in his car there's also a seat waiting for her. As is in his heart.
29. He had the funniest line in Twilight: "So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?"
30. Bella and he have much in common. For example, he has the same kind of interest in Edward as Bella herself has.
A/N I'm sure I've convinced Bella by now to pick Mike Newton.
Mwahahahahaha!!! Now Edward and Jacob are mine! MINE! Mwahahahahaha!!!!
BTW, I've got a poll on my profile! "Who is Mike's perfect partner?" Vote now please!