Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Caricature of Intimacy
axel x kairi
oneshot
for ana
Kairi covers up the bruises with sweaters.
She's got so many different colored sweaters, an entire closet full. She wears one every day, and every night, it's ripped off of her pretty, fragile body, and it somehow gets blood on it.
Kairi tells the drycleaner that they're personal stains.
It's weird, because sometimes, it doesn't even hurt. It doesn't feel good, of course, but she doesn't immediately start sobbing after the first hit. Sometimes, she even waits until later, after he's fallen asleep, and she starts to cry and hope for something better.
But that's only sometimes.
Axel, he says, "Hoping doesn't help anyone with anything. You just have to face it. It won't get any better."
The pessimist says that every time things don't turn out the way they planned.
She sits in the corner of her room, sipping on hot green tea, wearing a deep purple sweater that brings out the pretty purple flecks in her indigo eyes. She's worried, because Axel's supposed to be coming home soon, and as much as Kairi loves him, her arms hurt, and she doesn't want to deal with this, not tonight.
She taps her foot, bites the inside of her cheek, sings a bit, anything to placate the anxiety.
And then the door to the apartment opens.
Kairi freezes.
She hears keys jingle, several things fall to the floor, and a haunting, "Honey, I'm home."
"I'm back here," Kairi squeaks.
There are footsteps, and suddenly there's a tall, slender, teal-eyed figure at the door. "Hello, Kairi," he says through thin lips.
"Hi, Axel," she replies.
"Have you started dinner?"
"I… I was just about to." She struggles to stand, fighting impenetrable fear.
Axel holds up his hand. "No, no," he says, walking over to Kairi's bed. "Don't get up. I'm not hungry, anyway." He grins ruefully. "Well, not for food."
Kairi freezes again with fear. "Oh."
"Yes."
Kairi blinks, terrified. "I…"
"What is it, sweetie?"
"I… my back hurts, tonight, Axel. I don't think we can…"
"Your back hurts?" Axel asks sympathetically. He clicks his tongue, and stands up from the bed. The fiery redhead walks toward the poor, pale girl. He says, "Don't worry, baby, Axel will make it better." He kneels down at Kairi's chair, and brushes his lips against her jawbone. He breathes, and places himself near her delicate ear. Then, he whispers such a horrifying thing:
"I'll kiss all your pain away."
Kairi's eyes widen, and her mouth forms a terrified circle.
It's silent. Axel inhales, and exhales on Kairi's skin. Kairi feels the bumps arise on her pale flesh. She shudders away. "Axel…"
Suddenly, Axel's body is rigid.
Here it comes.
"Oh," he says in a dark voice. "So that's it, is it?"
"A-axel, I didn't m-m-mean…"
"You don't love me. That's it. You just want to screw that little manwhore Sora. That's it. 'My back hurts!' Oh, please."
"Axel… p-please…"
"You want pain? I'll give you pain."
And he hits her.
The wind is knocked out of Kairi, and he's hit her so hard, she can barely hear his next words: "I hate you, you little good-for-nothing slut…"
He keeps hitting.
And this time, it's really scary, because with every hit, the room is suddenly getting darker, and darker, until all of a sudden…
It's pitch black.
". . .Kairi?"
--
She hears the emergency sirens.
She smells the blood on her skin.
She sees the giant hands of the paramedics.
She feels Axel with her every step of the way.
"What happened?" asks an unfamiliar voice.
"She fell down a flight of stairs; I don't know what happened," Axel's voice says urgently.
"And who're you?"
"I'm her boyfriend." Kairi feels Axel's bony hand slip between her fingers.
"Right."
Kairi moans softly.
"Ma'am? Ma'am, you're fine, we're taking you to the hospital, okay? Your boyfriend is right here. You're going to be okay."
Kairi moans again. She suddenly wonders that, if this was okay, then she didn't want okay. She didn't want okay at all.
"Kairi, baby?" She feels Axel kiss her hand. "You're going to be okay."
Kairi wonders how in the world she's going to explain those bruises. Oh, nothing, I just fall. A lot. And I hit my arms and legs. A lot. No one would believe that.
Suddenly, she feels a paramedic touching and examining her arms. "Are you sure she fell down the stairs?" the paramedic asks, concern in her voice.
"Yes, she did," Axel says, his voice steady and sure. "I came home, and I was walking up the stairs to the apartment when I found her on the ground."
Kairi hears the paramedic sigh to herself. The paramedic knows. She has to know.
Suddenly, Kairi's other arm is being held by another paramedic. "All right," he says in a comforting but firm voice. "This is going to hurt a bit. I'm just putting in the IV."
Kairi blinks, still watching the blurred figures overhead.
She feels the needle jab into her delicate, bruised skin. She winces only the slightest bit. After all, it doesn't hurt as bad as when he hits her.
The ambulance pulls in to the ER entrance, and Kairi feels herself being strapped to a gurney and taken into the hospital. She hears voices, many, many voices, but really, she can't make out whom, or what, or why.
"All right, honey, you hang in there now."
And suddenly, the world is black again.
--
"We found bleeding in her brain."
Silence.
"No… oh… oh no…"
"I'm sorry, sir."
"Kairi… K-Kairi…"
Kairi's eyes blink open.
She watches as Axel gasps. "Kairi! Oh, Kairi…"
It's not the first time Kairi's seen this act.
Which is kind of sad, really.
"Axel?" she says in a faint, faint voice.
"Kairi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
The doctor stands awkwardly. "I think I'll need to leave you two alone for a moment. I'll be back."
Kairi blinks, inwardly begging the doctor not to go; Kairi doesn't want to be with Axel alone, not now.
Axel looks, the pain fading slightly. "Kairi, you know…"
"Stop," she says.
Axel presses his thin lips together. "This was never my intention."
I'm sure, she thinks. "I know."
He sighs, running long bony fingers through fiery red hair. "Really. I didn't expect this." He stands, and begins to pace the linoleum floor. "I guess… I don't know my own strength, Kairi. Sometimes I go too far."
If Kairi hadn't been attached to an IV and all sorts of medical machines, she would've fought along. That's how strong she would've felt.
Axel continues to pace. "I just… I don't know…"
What in the world is he trying to decide?
It's quiet it for a long, long, long time.
Then, Axel cautiously and slowly says, "You know I love you Kairi."
"I know," she answers hoarsely. "You know I love you, too."
Axel closes his eyes, almost as if he's in pain. "I… I know," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know you do."
"Then, what?"
Axel sighs.
"What is it?"
"It's just… I wasn't expecting this, Kairi."
"I know you weren't," she replies faintly. "But they can fix me." She smiles. "They call me a rag doll, because I get hurt all the time, and sometimes it seems like all I need is a needle and thread."
Axel shakes his head. "Not this time, Kairi."
"What… what do you mean?"
"I mean, they might not be able to fix you," he says firmly.
Kairi's quiet.
"But that's beside the point."
What?
"My point is… I can't stay with you. I can't stay with a girl who's teetering on the life-or-death line. That's not me. I need someone, Kairi. I have this need."
Kairi stares blankly.
"And… well, it won't be fulfilled." Axel pinches the bridge of his nose. "It can't be fulfilled. And besides, I did this, it's my mistake, and I can't fix my mistakes."
Oh, oh, it hurts.
"This just isn't going to work now." He pauses, and inches over slowly to the beat of Kairi's heart monitor. He leans into Kairi's face, and kisses her. "I'm sorry," he whispers, and as fast as anything Kairi's ever seen, he's out the door in a flash.
I can't fix my mistakes.
He left her.
He left her.
And she's in the hospital, possibly about to die.
It takes longer than it should for that to sink in.
He's gone.
And in a sickening way, she loved him.
But, now, he's gone.
Really, this should be a relief, but instead…
Suddenly, it hurts.
It hurts all over.
She tries to stop because that rabid beat of the heart monitor is rather annoying.
But it's not working.
Suddenly, the beeping noise is going faster.
The world is a blur of off-whites.
He's gone.
She can tell them what that nasty boy did.
But she doesn't want to.
"Nurse… code blue, code blue!"
God, the world is spinning.
"Flatline!"
The heart monitor noise is flat.
Axel's gone.
Maybe Kairi should go, too.
Just to prove something.
"Kairi? Kairi, can you hear me?"
Leaving the world doesn't sound so bad.
They don't have bruises There.
"Kairi, darling, hold on."
She's not going to hold on.
She just wants to be free.
The room is silent. Completely, completely silent.
Maybe he really did kiss all of her pain away.
The last thing she hears:
"Time of death, 13:55 PM."
End.
Well, that's about the saddest thing I've ever written.
One of the saddest, at least.
Yes, I know, more evil!Axel.
It's not that I hate Axel. 'cause I don't. I loooove Axel. xD
But… it's kind of fun to make him evil. :
Anyway, so, this was written for Ana.
Ana. You're amazing. xD A fantastic writer, a fantastic person, and I hope you come back 'cause I missed you! Love you. (:
--kayleigh.