A/N- Just a funny idea that came to my mind one day. I thought it would be funny if Edward had to answer all those questions Facebook gives you. I know it's slightly OOC because Bella and Edward's family would never have Facebooks, but bear with me please. Review! Thank you
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight series, any characters, or Facebook.
Edward played idly with a strand of my hair that was cascading down my back, while he brought his lips to the top of my head, kissing my hair gently. His free arm was draped across my back, pulling my body close to his. I giggled as I tried to wriggle free of his grasp, "Stop trying to distract me, Edward Cullen!" I said in the sternest voice I could muster. We were lying on our stomachs on my bed, the new laptop that Emmet and Rosalie had bought me as an early wedding present and a peace offering from Rose, that I reluctantly accepted, in front of us, the Facebook home page up on the screen. Edward groaned and kissed my cheek, "And here I thought I was doing so well with the distractions." He looked into my eyes deeply, his own golden eyes smoldering. "Don't you dare dazzle me! And if I don't make you do this, you know Alice will. Her, Rosalie, Emmet, and Jasper have already made theirs, so suck it up." He laughed along with me, and said, "Yes ma'am." I brought my attention back to the screen, and said, "Ok, so birthday." He smirked, "Original date or rebirth?" I smirked back, "Your choice. We're changing the year anyway. The humans might get a little skeptical when they calculate that you should be about 107." He chuckled, and we put down June 20th. "Hometown?" I asked him with another smile. He laughed again. "We'll answer this one honestly. Chicago." I typed it in. The atmosphere in the room was light and carefree. We were relaxing, just the two of us. No Alice and her crazy wedding plans, no Charlie, no stress. Just us. "Relationship status?" He kissed my cheek again, this time closer to my mouth, "Bound to the most wonderful woman on Earth for eternity." I pretended to sigh, "Oh, darn. The closest they have here is marriage." I made a slight face. Despite the fact that I was beginning to warm up to the idea of marrying Edward, I still hated saying the word out loud. "And right now we're engaged. You'll have to settle for that." He groaned in mock frustration, and we moved on. "Activities. Oh, don't worry, I got this one. Hunting, resisting Fiancé's blood, piano playing, driving fast, running fast, dazzling people…..anything else?" He laughed hard, and the bed quivered slightly from it. "I'd leave out the hunting, the bloodlust, and the dazzling. Might frighten the humans." I sighed, "Of course. Sorry about that." I ended up putting piano, running, and baseball under the Activities section. "Mountain lions." I said as I typed it into the interests section. He smirked at me, and then hit the delete button and retyped, "Music and my beautiful wife to be." I smiled back at him and he kissed the tip of my nose. We finished filling out Favorite Books, Movies, TV shows, and Music. We decided to skip the favorite quotes and "About Me" section, although I pretended to be deeply offended when he didn't want to write what I had come up with: "I'm Edward. I'm 107 years old, although my body will be 17 forever. I'm a vampire, but don't worry my family's and I are vegetarians. Although, I do have to constantly refrain myself from killing my fiancé, because her blood is so much more appealing to me than anyone else's. But don't worry, we've gotten past that, and after we're married I'm going to change her into an equally bloodthirsty vampire. I love playing the piano, playing baseball with my family, driving fast, and being with my Bella. Oh, and don't believe the vampire myths. Their complete bull." When we got to Education, we dissolved into laughter as I insisted on listing all of the colleges and high school he went to, but of course Edward won out in the end. Finally, I uploaded a picture I had of him onto the site, and
began adding some applications onto his page. He looked incredulously at the screen and then back at me, "What is all this stuff?!" "Oh, shush. Let the human have her fun." I teased him back. He laughed and brought me closer to him. I arranged his top friends, so I was first, followed by Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Angela and Ben. Then I rearranged my top so Edward was first, Alice second, then Angela, Ben, Emmet, Jasper, Rosalie, and grudgingly, Mike. Seconds after I was done, my house phone rang. Edward raised his eyebrows in amusement: it was Emmet. "Hey Emmet, what's up?" I asked after I had answered. "Hey little sis!" I grinned to myself. Emmet and I had the perfect older brother-little sister relationship. He annoyed the hell out of me, and we were constantly joking. "So I'm here on human-book." I laughed at his nickname for the website, "And I noticed that I am number FIVE on your top! You're number two on mine, which hardly seems fair." I laughed, "Sorry, Em, but I have to put my human friends first. Angela and Ben stood by me through a lot, and I'll be leaving them soon. You have me for eternity." He pretended to sound offended, "I think I should be second." "Alice will murder me." "Fine I'll be first then." "You can't be first, Edward's first." "Make him second." "He's my fiancé." "I'm your big brother." "I love him." "Don't you love me?" Edward was trying to keep from laughing, but he was doubled over from the effort. "Of course I love you, but I love you like a brother. Edward is the love of my…existence." "Fine, then! Put your love in front of your big brother! Goodbye little sister!" He hung up then, and Edward let out his laughter. I joined in after a moment. "I think I hurt his feelings." "Oh, well. He's probably already over it." Edward smirked at me. I grinned evilly at him, and turned back to Edward's newly created Facebook profile, "I am so sending you some bumper stickers." He groaned and buried his head in my hair, while I laughed and began browsing through the stickers.