Title: Glass Snowflakes
Fandom: South Park (cartoon)
Pairing: McTucker (Kenny and Craig
...o...o...o...o
"So what should I do?"
Stan looked at him with those eyes of his. The ones filled with hope and worry and confusion. The ones Kenny hated the most. He put a finger in his mouth as if thinking. He really did not want to help Stan, but he hated to see him like this. He looked really depressed. Kenny bit his finger. It was small enough to go unnoticeable, but large enough to draw blood. It tasted bitter on his tongue. He finally looked up at Stan. "You and Kyle are like what, best fucking friends forever right? I'm sure he'll tell you what's wrong if you asked him." He gave his biggest and largest grin to Stan.
Stan smiled at him. In that instant, Kenny forgot how his heart clenched whenever he mentioned Kyle or when he mentioned Wendy or when he said any of those girls were hot. Instead he knew that smile was for him. There was still that distant pain, but Stan's smile was the best in the world to him. He smiled back. "Yep. That's sure to do the trick."
.
.
Life was not fair.
Kenny McCormick knew it better than anyone. He fought back the urge to cry. He bit his lip. He rubbed at his eyes viciously with his sleeve. He just had to reach his place, his secret place. It was all his. He collapsed on the ground when he got there. He was exhausted of these feelings. His head hurt. His eyes burnt. He was nearly choking on the freezing cold air.
He was crying alone, but it was better this way. It had always been better this way. He did not understand why Stan only turnt to him for advice. He never turnt to him when he was happy because Kyle was there. Kyle was always there. Kenny punched the snow and spread the white powder everywhere. It danced around him, and for a second he lived in a light fog. He was lost in his own little world.
When the fog cleared, he saw another boy standing beside him. The boy did not say anything. He just sat there in a blue chullo with a little yellow fuzzball on top. Kenny knew him from somewhere but could not place his name. He waited for him to leave. The guy in front of him sat down instead. He flopped in the snow near him but far from him. He was not too close, but he was close enough for Kenny to notice him. Kenny glanced at him warily. He felt like he was somehow invaded. This was his hiding space, how had this guy found it?
"Craig."
It took Kenny a while to realise that was his name. He cleared his throat. "Kenny." He thought he heard Craig reply something like "I know that" or something, but it could have just been the wind. He decided to ignore it. He decided to also to ignore the boy himself and began drawing figures in the snow. He was mindlessly drawing. The lines did not really make anything important. They were just scribbles. He could see faces here and there.
Kenny was in his own world. He was focused on his drawing. He was focused on the swirls and the curves and the lines. Craig had shifted a bit closer to him, but he did not really notice. The lines were becoming more definite in the snow. Kenny continued to dig in it, to drag his fingers for the figures. "You're really good," Craig suddenly said as he watched Kenny stretch and stand up. He blew on his fingers. He could feel the ice spreading through them.
Kenny snorted. He knew that wasn't true. He was not good at anything.
Craig glanced at him and shrugged. He stood beside him. "Gimme your hand." Kenny looked at him still blowing on his numb fingers. "Just fucking do it." With that said, Craig grabbed Kenny's hand. He wrapped it up with his own. He blew into his cupped hands and onto Kenny's. Kenny just stared at him kind of awkward "I'm not really sure what to do in this situation" way. Craig suddenly stopped. "Isn't that a lot fuckin' better?"
"Never thought if doing it before," Kenny said. He was not really sure what to say. No one had ever just helped him before. If anyone ever saved him it was always for something else. A blowjob or to stop the resurection of Satan or some other bullshit like another fast food place.
Kenny thought he saw Craig smile. The corners of his mouth turned in the slightest, but it was his eyes that were the most noticeable. They had been a strange shade of purple. An unbelievable shade that reminded him of a sort of blue, but it had added red. When they struck the sunlight, they turned an even brighter shade. It made the colour more noticeable. The purple sparkling in the sun. When that ghost of a smile crept on his face, Kenny thought he saw his eyes light up.
Kenny walked with him for a couple minutes. They walked along each other in silence. For some reason Kenny felt like the silence was comforting. He did not feel as awkward as he usually did in these situations. When it came for them to part, Craig waved. Kenny knew they probably looked ridiculous, but he waved back. Then he happily took off in the other direction.
Stan only flitted through Kenny's mind.
.
.
Kenny was still walking on air when he collapsed on his bed. He was deaf to his parents' fighting for once and the happiest he had ever been in a long time. His whole body was warm despite he was not even covered with a blanket, and the cold winter air crept in through his cracked window. He compared the warmth to the one you get with alcohol minus being hungover the next day.
Craig could have been lying. He could not have meant Kenny was actually good at something. But something told him not to doubt him. Kenny was sure Craig meant what he said.
Kenny hummed and crawled into bed. He absentmindingly stroke a cat that had crawled into his bed. She purred as he snuggled into her soft fur. He loved cats. He did not know why, but ever since that huge epidemic over getting high off of cat urine he had loved them. Of course he did not get high off of that anymore. That was disgusting.
And he did not find many things disgusting.
The best part was cats listened instead of talked. They might mew in understanding, but they never ignored him. Kenny continued humming his song, finishing with an exaggerated flourish. "I made a friend today," he whispered to her as he curled up with her.
He snuggled underneath the thin blankets and for the first time he dreamt of a boy wearing a blue chullo who smiled with his eyes.
.
.
It was always important to have a plan. Kenny knew that. That's why he always planned when he would do what he did -usually. He had decided he was going to his first three periods, skip fourth, go to lunch, and then skip fifth and sixth. The first three were conviently his favourite classes: English, Chemistry, and Visual Art. By the time second had come, he remembered Mr. Lewellen, his mean and judgemental Chemistry teacher. He pivoted around and hurried in the other direction of the hallway, careful to avoid anyone he knew too well. They would definitely know what he was up to.
He crept into the music room. Kenny wedged his body into a corner underneath the bleachers. It was hidden enough so he was not seen, but he could see well enough to gaze at the choir. He loved singing, but he had never had the talent for it. He was happy enough just to watch.
Tweek Tweak obviously had the best voice. All of the coffee he had drunk over the years must have somehow eroded his vocal cords to harp strings. Kenny knew this was never physically possible, but weirder things had happened in South Park.
Butters was next. He sung just as well as Tweek, but you could see how nervous he was. Tweek was calm when he sung, but the minute he sat down he shook like crazy. Butters was the exact opposite. He was calmer when he sat down, but the minute he stood up he stumbled over all his words. Kenny secretly tried to cheer him on from his spot behind the bleachers. He somehow hoped Butters would feel the silent encouragement.
Butters sat down after stumbling through three other songs. Kenny watched him try to hide his flushed face behind a smile. A third boy stood up. Kenny had never noticed him in class before. He had black hair that seemed to automatically curl over the edges of a blue chullo with a dark blue puffball on top. It was almost like Craig's the other day if the fuzzball did not seem to change colour. The teacher raised an eyebrow at him as if surprised he had decided to speak. "I'm glad you decided to make up for that test you decided not to take last week."
The boy gave him the middle finger. A lot of the students laughed at the action, but the teacher merely shrugged as if used to it. The boy looked briefly at the bleachers as if knowing someone was behind there. Kenny stiffened. The boy had looked directly in his direction. It was when he saw the purple glint in his eyes did he recognise him.
He sung carefully. He obviously had no real experience with actual performance, but no one bothered to correct him. He knew all the words and did not stumble over a single one. He sat down after he finished without saying a word. Kenny did not realise he had stopped breathing until the song was finished.
"Very good. You get a B."
"A B?" Kenny had blurted it out without thinking. He covered his mouth quickly, biting his hand to keep any noise from coming out. All of the students had turnt to look at the bleachers.
"I thought I'd get a better grade," Craig said. "Didn't mean to blurt out." It was very apparent the teacher, or the students for that matter, did not believe him. Kenny saw Tweek look at Craig curiously, but Craig just flipped him off. The dismissal bell rang then. Kenny was so thankful he nearly shouted again.
Kenny did not come out till he had seen everyone else leave the room. He walked with his head down, so he did not see Craig in front of him until it was too late."You owe me for saving your ass," he said his face as blank as usual.
Kenny grinned. "Yeah. Thanks." In the back of his mind he wanted to ask iwhy/i, but he decided not to. He had just met Crig afterall. He did not want to screw it up already.
Craig dug in his pocket. He cursed and then flicked off to no one in particular. Kenny wondered if he even did it conciously. "Do you have a lighter?" Kenny shook his head. He saw Craig's mouth turn downward only the slightest. He would have missed it if he had looked at him a second later. Kenny decided to take this as his dismayed reaction. He cursed again and continued walking. "What's your next period?"
Kenny was not really listening. He was enjoying just walking alongside him. "Visual Art."
Craig nodded, not volunteering to say anything else. Kenny was used to someone running the conversation for him. Craig did not seem to mind long silences. Kenny was beginning to find it relaxing to just be with someone without having to do anything crazy that risked his life. Craig made him feel indispensable.
"Wanna skip?" he suddenly said. He had not considered inviting someone with him, but the thought of repeating yesterday sounded like a great idea. "After third tho'."
Craig looked off as if thinking. Kenny noticed the hallways were almost empty. He wondered how long they had been walking. At first, he had been walking with Craig to his third period, but it appeared as if they really had not been heading anywhere. Craig looked back at him, his deadpan face holding that same expression but Kenny could see the light in his eyes. He nodded.
Kenny broke into his ridiculous grin. "Same spot!" he shouted as he bolted off to art class. He just had a great idea of what to make.
.
.
The glass snowflake twinkled in the soft sunlight. Kenny was happy the art teacher had decided he could use the glassblower. He had been afraid she would have said no. He was also surprised he had found the right colour. The sun caught it in some spots and made it look just like the same purple as Craig's eyes. Kenny found the colour fascinating. He had never seen the colour anywhere else, but he liked it.
"What's that?"
Kenny jumped. Stan stood behind him. He was holding a football in the crook of his arm.
"Just a snowflake," Kenny said with a smile. Stan only nodded. He was very apparently disinterested. Kenny's heart clenched. He had worked so hard on it. "I have to go," he said not because he really had to but more because he wanted to change the topic. That feeling was coming back, that painful constriction in his chest. Stan nodded again.
Before Kenny could completely escape, Stan yelled for him again. "Thanks! Your advice worked!"
Kenny grinned, and like the good friend he was he gave him a thumbs up although he felt like crying.
.
.
Craig's eyes were closed. He caught each snowflake on his tongue. They danced around his hat, only somewhat catching on the blue fabric. He was not aware of Kenny, who had deviously snuck up on him armed with a handful of snow.
Craig's eyes opened wide as Kenny dumped his load down his jacket. That was the only clear sign he was shocked. Kenny prepared himself for a punch but was instead hit with a mouthful of snow. He laughed and then tackled Craig into the snow despite the other's very open protesting.
Craig dusted loose flakes from his eyes. A couple still hung from his lashes like tiny intricate Christmas ornaments. The same was for Kenny, but they also decorated his hair. Craig glared at him. Kenny laughed and handed him his chullo which had fallen on the ground. Craig snatched it from him more sarcastic than angry.
"Thanks jackass." Craig placed the chullo carefully back on his head. "Now I have to go home and change." Kenny reached out an arm to help Craig up. Craig grabbed his hand grudgingly.
"But your face was hilarious," he said with a smirk. Craig just glared at him then winced.
"I think you fucking sprained my ankle." Craig stumbled and nearly fell back in the snow. Kenny caught him again. Craig leaned against him somewhat; he was trying to pretend he was not in any pain.
Kenny looked at him concerned. He never really had meant to hurt him. He frowned until he came up with a suddenly very bright idea. "Hey Craigy..."
"Fuck you. First you sprain my ankle and now you're giving me dumbass nick- WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT MUTHAFUCKING DAMMIT PUT ME DOWN!" Craig started shouting when Kenny had picked him off the ground and somehow on his back. Craig cursed some more, hanging onto Kenny's back for dear life. His ankle was too sore to try and kick him, so he could get back down. He was forced to stay on Kenny's back. Kenny had grabbed both of legs to hold him up, and Craig was forced to wrap his arms around Kenny's neck for more support. "I'm too fucking old for piggyback rides," Craig muttered angrily.
Kenny shrugged. "It was this or a princess carry. How would you have liked that Princess Craig?"
Craig was genuinely pissed, but he held it in. He was too afraid of how much it would hurt if he fell again. "If my leg gets better soon, I am personally kicking your fucking ass."
.
.
It had taken Craig the rest of the week to get better, He had refused to go back to school and instead sulked at home. Kenny, mostly out of guilt, forced himself to go to school, so he could grab Craig's assignments for him.
By Friday, Kenny was exhausted. He had never been to school so many days in a row before. iAll day/i. He groaned. If it was not for Craig, he would have skipped a long time ago.
He collapsed on Craig's couch. Over the week, he had been crashing over his house a lot. He preferred Craig's quiet montone family to his loud and drunk one. The only salvation he had at home was Kevin, and Kevin was in juvie for stealing again. Kenny sighed.
Ruby came in and sat in the middle of the living room. She spread all of her things out on the coffee table. She usually sat with Kenny to ask him for help on homework due to the fact "her brother was a narcassistic bastard who cared more about his hair than her education".
"What's the most common STD?" Ruby questioned Kenny.
Kenny stretched lazily. He was already exhausted from his own classes. He had told Ruby this before, but she had just flipped him off and insisted he helped her. "SuperAIDS."
"What?"
"They totally exist."
Ruby flipped him off and muttered something about him being an idiot.
"What?" Kenny said laughing. Ruby was staring at him; it was beginning to make him nervous.
She hesistated before asking her question, "Are you gay?" Kenny was beginning to notice that monotone ran in Craig's family. Ruby had said that with a straight face without any hint of joking.
Kenny looked up as if thinking. "I don't really have a preference," he decided before rolling back to his side - the one not facing Ruby. He hid his flushed face. He did not know why, but he had a feeling Ruby had asked him that for a certain reason and he could feel nervousness eating away in his chest.
.
.
"Kenny! Kenny! Get the fuck off!"
Kenny opened his eyes slowly and looked around. It took him a while to remember where he was. It took him another moment to notice the quilt spread over him.
"I was sleeping so well to," he yawned. Craig just flipped him off. He shoved Kenny's feet and legs to the edge of the couch and sat beside him. He had changed into his pyjamas, pinstriped flannel pants that were so thin that Kenny could make out the shape of his legs and a dark blue shirt with the letters "F" and "U" faded but still visible. He flipped through the television stations, oblivious to Kenny who stared at him.
The Red Racer title screen came up. "You almost made me miss it."
Kenny wanted to laugh at the fact Craig still watched the kid show, but he the way he stared so seriously into the screen kept him from doing so. Kenny moved his legs trying to get more comfortable. He really wanted to kick Craig off, but Craig was still staring at the screen like the show was giving him the answers to life. Kenny had to memorise this for future teasing material.
He poked Craig with his toe hoping he would get the hint in vain. Then he decided a different approach, he began to wiggle again, slowly easing Craig so his legs had wrapped around him and he was pushed more in the couch. It was fine until the commercial break and Craig noticed. Craig glared at him, shoved his legs back where they were, and then sat on them. He had somehow managed to do it without once taking his eyes off the show.
Kenny shifted. Now he was more uncomfortable than ever. Craig was not the lightest person in the world, and now he could feel Craig on him. He really should consider getting thicker pyjama pants. He did not think it could get any worse until he noticed Craig had fallen asleep. He had slumped down onto Kenny's legs and suddenly Kenny had become a human mattress.
Kenny wanted to kick him, but then he saw Craig's face. He always held the same expression when he was awake, that same "I'm so fucking bored and I don't give a fuck about anything" face. It was different when he was asleep. Craig's face relaxed to show a soft smile playing on his lips, they were slightly parted as he breathed in and out.
Kenny sighed. He might manage to sleep like this.
.
.
Kenny woke up just as pleasant as he had the day before. "Get the fuck up."
Kenny rolled over and looked up at Craig. He noticed he had already showered and dressed. "Morning sunshine. Ever heard it's better to wake up with a song?"
Craig flipped him off and walked to the kitchen. Kenny tagged along yawning and still tired. Craig had made him wake up entirely too early for a Saturday. He needed at least another five hours. It was even worse when he saw the only things for breakfast Craig had in his house was Captain Crunch and Pop-Tarts. "No bacon?" he asked rooting through the fridge. He scrunched up his nose at some kind of potroast.
"Fuck bacon. I like cereal." Craig emphasised this by pouring himself a nice bowl of Captain Crunch and carrying it to the table. He stabbed the cereal with his spoon and then put it in his mouth.
Kenny crossed his arms. "Fuck cereal then. Especially Captain Crunch." Craig just flipped him off and continued eating.
Kenny soon tired of watching Craig eat and grabbed a Pop-Tart. He had first explained the difference between cereal and Pop-Tarts, so his first arguement was still valid. The Pop-Tart was delicious and he could hardly stop eating them. One still dangled from his mouth as they both walked out into the cold air of Colorado and onto Craig's porch. "Whataya want to do today?" Kenny asked, but it came out more like "Whmfmf wmf foo do foodmf?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full dumbass, but I don't care," Craig said indifferent.
Kenny just nodded. They were both walking aimlessly alongside each other down the walkway. Suddenly Kenny spit out his Pop-Tart and began to run. "Race ya to the pond!" he shouted behind him.
"Kenny! Wait! What the fuck?" Craig shouted back surprised. Kenny had ran ahead of him only leaving destroyed and dirty snow in his tracks. Craig ran after him only half-heartedly at first, but slowly gaining momentum as they got closer to the pond.
Craig had almost caught up when Kenny stopped. This caused Craig to crash into him and send them both skidding onto the frozen pond. Kenny was still laughing hysterically and Craig was groaning about almost spraining his ankle again. Craig pushed himself up and noticed for the first time he was sitting on Kenny's hips. "Sorry," he muttered looking off to the side.
Was it just a trick of the light, or did the seemingly apathetic boy just blush? The idea of it gave Kenny a splendid idea.
As Craig pushed himself up, Kenny grabbed his wrist and pulled him down. He used just enough force to reverse their positions. Kenny could definitely see it now. There was a light flush to his cheeks and something told Kenny it was not from the running or even the cold. Kenny felt something like a thousand moths fluttering around in his stomach.
Craig's eyes were blazing. His mouth was parted open to say something, but nothing would come out.
"Hey Craig, why did you talk to me that day?"
Craig did not respond. He appeared verbally broken and his deadpanned expresssion revealed nothing. The only reason Kenny knew he was nervous was because of his hand on his fast paced heartbeat. Kenny leant in to Craig, close enough he could feel Craig breathing on his face.
Craig was not some sentimental jock who was constantly overreacting about the future. Craig was not some natural born genius who knew nearly everything. Craig was not some sadistic asshole who was willing to sell his soul for a million dollars.
Craig was the seemingly apathetic narcassistic bastard who insisted on eating cereal and still watched Red Racer although he was old enough to drive. Craig was the bastard who was willing to wake you up with a punch to the face and a lot of cussing. Craig was the one with a natural reflex to flip you off. Craig was the one who would talk without needing to use any words.
Kenny's heart raced as he kept Craig pinned to the ice. Craig's bang was mussed and you could see his eyes so very clearly. They made Kenny want to do something crazy. "I'm going to pay you back," Kenny said still staring down at Craig's face.
He did not wait for Craig to answer.
The kiss was soft. The type of kiss an unsure boy gives to his first. This was definitely not Kenny's first, but it felt different. The light touch sent sparks of electricity through his spine, making the moths go crazy and sending them into a frenzy.
Craig's fists clenched, and he shifted beneath Kenny. He resisted as half-heartedly as he had ran earlier. He lost a battle within himself and kissed Kenny back.
Kenny pulled back abruptedly. He wanted to go further, but something told him it was perfect just like this.
Craig stared up at him. His expressionless countenance had crumbled and instead his face was more than slightly flushed. He panted although it was only a light kiss.
They sat there like that. Neither of them sure whose heart it was that was beating so loud. Maybe it was both of theirs.
"Because I was tired of waiting for you to notice me first."