Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, and the lyrics belong to the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
It started the same way it always did. They weren't happy anymore. They hadn't been for several years, but up until this point, they had always pretended, and deep down they had hoped that things could go back to the way they used to be.
It hadn't been the same since they'd been apart from the others. At the end of the war (It hadn't really been a war, but they all thought of it that way) the government had separated them, for safety reasons. They were hated and loved among the general population, and were too easily recognized when they were together. The six of them separated into pairs and went their own separate ways.
As much as they'd tried to stay connected over the years, letters and emails and even phone calls weren't the same as a simple flight over the mountains. They related through an extraordinary ability that they all shared, but with that communal experience taken away, their connection loosened, rusted, frayed and broke. Nothing would ever be the same again.
Won't somebody come along
And teach me how to keep it alive
To survive
Come along and show me something
That I never knew in your eyes
Take away the tourniquet
She supposed that this separation from her flock was what caused her to rely on him so deeply, more so than ever before. He was all she had left from the old days, and she poured her love for all of them into him. Whenever she was lonely, at work or driving home by herself, she would call him just to hear his voice. It grounded her, made her feel real, but most of all it assured her that it hadn't just been a dream.
She would pull into the parking lot of their apartment and run up twelve flights of stairs; a continued claustrophobia kept her from using the elevator. They always kept the door locked, that paranoia had stayed with them as well, but he would unlock it when he heard her coming. He always made sure that he arrived at home before her, because she hated to be alone.
I used to be so full of my confidence
I used to know just what I wanted and just where to go
More than ever I could use a coincidence
But now I walk alone and talk about it, when I know
Hey, aw yeah, how long
I guess I oughta walk away
Hey, aw yeah, how long
Watcha gonna do today?
They would take off their jackets in the cell-like living room just to see the feathers on their backs. She ran her hands down his withered wings, tears in her eyes just to know that they were there, that she wasn't crazy. They weren't allowed to fly anymore, and even if they had tried, the brittle, hollow bones couldn't have supported the full weight of their passengers like they used to.
Often, the sight of their useless wings would make her cry. She grasped at his shoulders and clung to him, pressing her face into his shoulder and sobbing in a way that struck her as disgustingly weak and pathetic. He never cried, no matter how much he wanted to, but he held her up as her face turned red and blotchy, swollen with tears. He still thought she was beautiful.
I don't want to have to but I will
If that's what I'm supposed to do
We don't wanna set up for the kill
But that's what I'm about to do
As the months blurred into years, she grew tired of her weakness. She remembered how strong she had been in the past, and how she had prided herself in concealing her emotions. Despite these misgivings, she depended on him more and more. It sickened her, and she altered their routine so that she cried alone into a ragged towel, locked in the bathroom. He waited outside the door, listening to her sobs.
They spoke rarely now, and while the silence had once been gentle, now it screamed unsaid words in their ears at night. Both of them tried to conceal their insomnia from the other, as was now the nature of their relationship. They concealed their pain, despite the fact that they suffered in the same ways. Imprisoned on the ground, in a normal life.
When exactly the silence had changed to screaming, she wasn't sure. What she did know was that there was a very fine line between swallowing your secrets and letting them out at the top of your lungs. He could stay behind the line, though he might tread close the limit, but she crossed it altogether. When she grew tired of his silence, she would shriek his name into the darkness; tell him to go away, to leave her alone. But he didn't.
Later on I'll cut you off
When you're screaming into the phone
Hard to own
Anyway I want to let you know
That everything is on hold
What you gonna do to me?
He was always there, waiting patiently while she cursed him. He was never exactly sure what she wanted from him, as she was never able to find the right words. Maybe it was this: She had always opened herself to him, from the very beginning. He saw her weaknesses when no one else could. But, unconsciously, she wanted something in return. She wanted his greatest fears, his deepest emotions. She knew that on the inside, he was as damaged as she was. But without it in the open, she could never be sure.
She couldn't quite identify the specifics, but she knew she felt alone, and she knew it was his fault. With anyone else, she wouldn't have felt this way. But of all the flock, she had chosen to stay with the silent one.
More and more frequently, she regretted having chosen him. This was one of the things that she said out loud. She watched how it destroyed him, more and more as she said it again and again. Sadistically, she enjoyed watching his pain. It made them equals.
You used to be so warm and affectionate
All the little things I used to hear my fairy say
But now you're quick to get into your regret
Take a fall and now you got to give it all away
Finally, she decided that she couldn't do it anymore. She pulled into the parking lot and took the elevator upstairs, breathing quickly and shallowly. She packed what little she owned into several plastic grocery bags; they didn't have any suitcases. He watched her quietly with his dark eyes, silent pleas echoing across the room. She swallowed back her tears and walked towards the door with her head held high. His voice rang out as her fingers grazed the handle.
"I love you," he said. It was a peace offering, and she paused, feeling her face heat and tears well in her eyes. She turned back to face him, his tortured eyes matching her own. She thought of all the unsaid things that had passed between them. The weakness pulsed in her heart.
"I know," she said simply. Then the handle turned, the door hinges squeaked, and she was gone.
Hey, aw yeah, how long
I guess I oughta walk away
Hey, aw yeah, how long
Watcha gonna do today?
The landlord called when they found him. They hadn't been officially married, so the investigators wouldn't let her in the apartment until it had been cleaned up. Since the avians were a classified experiment, the government handled his body carefully. They wanted there to be no trace of his existence.
She asked them to take her too, wipe all evidence of her off the face of the earth, but they wouldn't. She climbed the stairs to the roof of the building and stood by the edge, staring down at the bleakness below her. Her life didn't have a purpose; it hadn't for a long time. She shifted her wings gently with her hands to pull them through the rips on the back of her shirt.
Hey, what would you say if I stay?
Stay for a while if I may
Say it again and I'll come around
But not for the last time
Just to hold her wings out was exhausting. She could feel the bones straining to support the thin layer of feathers. She leant purposefully over the edge.
Her body fell, but in her mind, Maximum Ride was flying.
Author's Note: Okay, so I cranked that out in about an hour today and made very few changes. I hope you liked it, and please review. I have a chaptered story called Until the End of the World and another depressing oneshot, Colorblind, if you're interested.
The lyrics I used are from the amazing song "Hey" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. You should listen to it. And the title is not "Snow (Hey Oh)". It's just "Hey".
A tourniquet, in reference to a lyric from the first verse, is a bandage used to stop bleeding. So, "take away the tourniquet." Get it? If you already knew that, I sincerely apologize for insulting your intelligence. I just thought I'd make sure.