There is a certain theory in a book that Elizabeth was reading that she was talking about and has managed to stick with him. The funny thing about this, Elliot muses, is that he hasn't actually taken a look at said book, but the theory of imprinting makes perfect sense to him. It is also the only thing that he bothered to ask her about in detail. She'd been all too happy to explain. And now he finds himself thinking about it.
The theory, according to Elizabeth, is easy enough. It is the simple notion of looking at something or someone and knowing that it is the one thing that must be present in your life. Technically, it is only supposed to be one thing. But he doubts that it would work that way if the theory was applied in real life. It is the reason why he thinks about it now, sitting in the dark in the middle of the night.
He is supposed to be on leave, and is, but the truth is that it is starting to get on his nerves. His vision is still somewhat blurry, but starting to come back, slowly, and he probably should have turned a light on, but he didn't. Making it down the stairs had been somewhat of a task, but the house is familiar enough that he made it. And now he sits at the kitchen table, staring in the general direction of the windows above the sink.
If he has imprinted on anything, it is this, home and family and a quiet moment every now and then, away from the precinct. These are the things that sit closest to his heart, and the things which he knows he cannot live without. Elizabeth's explanation of the theory says that if this one thing goes away, everything will be turned upside down. Two years of wandering without any real destination told him as much.
And if it were to go away again, he is not sure that he would be able to make it. He has been injured in the lines of duty before, but not like this. And the lights and shadows that have made up those things which he has been able to see for the past few days have scared the hell out of him. But he will not admit it, because he is supposed to be the unbreakable one, and the thought of never being able to see his family properly again terrified him.
He told this to Casey, when she came around to see if he wouldn't come to court for her. And it is this that makes him realize that there is another thing that fits this theory: the precinct. The thought almost makes him laugh. In a few more days, he will return to work on an official level and in all honesty, he can't wait. Sitting at home has left him feeling somewhat useless, because no one is really letting him do much of anything.
When he goes back to the precinct, it will be different: he won't have any choice but to do something. And he figures at this point that besides home and family, the unit and the precinct fit this theory, because he doubts he would have made it this far without them. Without someplace to go when he knew all the lights at home were off, and someone to talk to when he knew no one was home. It is the other side of him, the things that he has known for so long that to be without them would be strange.
But then, those are only two of many things, but they are the most important things. The things that he knew he could not do without, no matter how hard he tried.
"The problem," Elizabeth had said, "Is that sometimes, it's unexpected."
Well, he wouldn't go so far as to call it unexpected, but he would call it certain. There were just some things that he doubted anyone could live without.
But those things for him were already imprinted on his soul.